Why Investing In Conferences Is Important For Women Leveling Up
Confession: I have a thing for conferences.
I believe that having a valuable network can open doors for new opportunities, increase your knowledge, and can help you connect with experts and influencers. Building and maintaining a healthy network is one of the most important things that you can do as a professional. An easy way to build your network is by attending conferences.
I first saw the value in conferences when I went to local empowerment conference at my college a few years ago. At the conference, I connected with an aspiring HR professional that was a blessing in disguise for me. This person had dreams of working in HR and he knew I had dreams of being a successful woman in business. I connected with him at the conference, and later we became close friends. After the conference, we stayed connected and when I was job searching a few years ago, I emailed him to just "catch up." Through the email, he told me that a company that he just started working with was hiring. He provided me with a great reference, and I was not only able to land an interview, but I also received a job offer after nailing the interview!
At another conference that I attended called Blogger Bootcamp, I was able to receive another bomb opportunity. At this conference, it was pretty small and intimate and we were able to play "speed dating/meeting." I had one minute to greet and give each attendee my 30-second spill, and in those 20 minutes of chatting it up with other girl bosses, I connected with a few amazing women. One person in particular that I met, I stayed in contact with and she helped me land a few freelancing gigs with a local publication headquartered in Houston, Texas.
If you want to not only learn new things, but want to effectively grow your network, you need to go where the experts are. And by the experts, I mean the panel members and attendees that are well-established and are influencers in their industry.Successful people attend conferences and see the value in them. These same successful people even budget their money and invest in conferences because they know that's where the most influential people will be and that's who their target network is. Remember, your net worth depends on your network.
Here are 5 quick reasons on why you should invest in conferences:
Networking Opportunities
Social media allows us to meet new people everyday and establish relationships, but there is nothing like meeting someone in person. Going to conferences allows us to meet and build new relationships with new people. Whether it is over breakfast, lunch, cocktails, or at a breakout session, you can find yourself meeting your next mentor, customer, business partner, or friend.
Increase Your Knowledge
When you go to a conference, the panelists chosen are experts in their respective fields. By attending a live conference, you are able to get first-hand knowledge, and learn more about different things in your field in a diverse, professional space.
Ignite Your Passion
Conferences are great way to ignite the hustle inside of you. With the heavy load that we can get from school, work, family, bills, and friends, it is easy to feel worn out. Conferences can give you the boost that you need and can motivate you as well.
Connect With Like-Minded People
There is so much positive energy that you can get from being in the same room with someone that is as motivated as you are. When you are at the conference, you will be connected with people that are like you – they desire on improving themselves and have similar interests. The positive energy that you can get from like-minded individuals will give the boost that you need to keep yourself motivated and focused on your goals.
Even before the conference, you can start connecting with like-minded people. Personally, before I attend any conference or networking event, I look on the event's site and social media and see if there is a hashtag for the event. The weeks leading up to the event, especially the days before, I search for that hashtag on Twitter and Instagram and start following people that I think are interesting and would be beneficial to follow. I always follow all of the panelists for the conference, and then I follow people that I assume are attending because they are using the same hashtag.
By following people on social media before the conference and even starting conversations with them, you will have started a positive connection with them and it will make your conference experience even better.
When talking to my boss about this, she even suggested how beneficial it would be to connect with people through a DM and maybe setting up drinks or meeting up for coffee during the conference to establish that relationship early.
Opportunity To Invest In Yourself
Conferences allow you to sharpen your skills and learn new ideas that can help you become more effective and efficient in your work. Investing in a conference is an investment to not only your career and company, but most importantly it benefits YOU. When you purchase your ticket, it shows that you understand the value in investing in yourself and you will do what it takes to further evolve.
Although they can be expensive, investing in conferences will force you to grow and challenge yourself, and it will allow you to network and learn on a whole new level. Keep in mind, even after the conference do not let the money and time you spent on attending go to waste. Stay in contact with everyone that you meet, and find ways to grow a healthy relationship with them. You never know when you may need them, or how you can help them out as well. When you meet people at conferences, exchange contact information with them, and shoot them an email telling them how great it was to connect with them, and that you hope to stay in touch.
In that email, let them know how you can be beneficial to them as well (maybe you are a blogger, and they are starting a new business – you may be able to help them out with content for their site, or maybe you know a photographer that can help them get photos).
If you are feeling really comfortable after meeting someone, it is even okay to shoot them a quick tweet or DM to let them know how great it was meeting them and how you hope to stay in touch. After sending that email, tweet, or DM, make sure you truly stay in contact and do not just randomly pop up when you need something – if you do, I'm sure they may not respond or may not remember who you are.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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Brittani Hunter is a proud PVAMU alumni and the founder of The Mogul Millennial, a business and career platform for Black Millennials. Meet Brittani on Twitter and on the Gram at @BrittaniLHunter and @mogulmillennial.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Honestly, I don’t know if it will surprise y’all or not to know that a few years back, Vice published an article entitled, “Women Get Bored in Bed Faster Than Men.” When it comes to the clients I work with, what I will say is men tend to underestimate how creative women can be while women seem to overlook that men fake orgasms just about as much as they do. My grand takeaway from all of this? Folks need to be intentional when it comes to keeping the spice alive in their sex life; especially if they’re in a long-term relationship.
That’s why, when one couple came to me and asked what was something that they could do to light the fire (pun intended) in their own bedroom, the first thing that I asked was if they had ever tried wax play before. You should’ve seen the expression on their faces. LOL.
When it comes to things like that, I think that it’s still taboo for some, simply because they’ve only seen it on a movie screen or heard about it in true extreme sexual contexts — and so, they don’t think that it’s something that is “for them” when, the reality is, with the right tips in tow, wax play can be for pretty much anyone…and everyone.
So today, let’s add something new to some of y’all’s boudoir list of activities. Here are 10 things that will, hopefully, help you to see the flames of wax play (I’ve got puns all over the place today) in a whole new light.
1. Anticipation Does Wonders for Sexual Arousal
GiphyI once read an article by a mental health expert who said that anticipation is probably the greatest aphrodisiac of all. It builds excitement. It fuels curiosity. At the end of the day, it’s like a mental form of edging because you’re getting close to something that you look forward to — although you’re not quite there yet. Listen, he’s not off base because even science says that anticipation can give you a dopamine hit that can ultimately improve your sexual experiences.
Keeping this point in mind, how can watching hot wax drip from a candle and head toward your body not fuel some level of anticipation? Especially if it’s your first few times trying it? A woman by the name of Ana Monnar once said, “Anticipation is sometimes more exciting than actual events.” Just something to consider, when it comes to entertaining bringing wax play into your world, my dear.
2. Wax Play Is Peak-Level Foreplay
GiphyWe all know what foreplay is, right? Just to be sure that we’re all on the same page, a very basic definition is it’s something that typically happens right before sex in order to arouse the people who are about to have it. And since foreplay is pretty much the prelude to copulation, it’s important that “the appetizer” is damn near as good as the “main course.” Wax play can help to ensure that because, aside from what I just said about anticipation, it can also help you and your partner tap into your more sensual and seductive sides. It’s hot. It requires being mindful. And since so much give and take is involved, it requires both people to be very into the moment. Lawd. Wax play is sexy to even just think about!
3. Temperature Pleasure Is Lots of Fun
GiphyOkay, say that you’ve never played with wax (in this way) before. Have you ever incorporated ice cubes? I ain’t gonna let y’all get ALL up in my business, so…let me just say (for now) that some ice during oral sex ain’t neva hurt nobody…quite the contrary! There’s something about the unexpected cool that mixes around with the warmth of a mouth that is truly unmatched. Along these same lines, wax play brings in the heat and, what makes temperature pleasure/play so awesome is, that it uses the sensations of different temperatures to bring out different forms of stimulation.
Another thing that’s worth noting about temperature pleasure is if you’re someone who considers yourself to be on the sexually conservative side yet you do like this type of activity, whether you realize it or not, you’re low-key participating in a form of kink (yep!). This brings me to my next point.
4. Wax Play Is an Introduction to Kink
GiphyIt’s kind of interesting how some people clam up at the thought of a (sexual) kink when the reality is, at the end of the day, it’s about having a certain type of sexual experience (as opposed to a fetish that focuses on objects or body parts; like a foot fetish, for example). So, if it’s that simple, why does it intimidate a lot of folks? Well, kinks tend to delve into people’s fantasies or unconventional ways of thinking (like BDSM or voyeurism).
At the same time, the cool thing about kinks is you control how deep you want to go. Just know that if you do participate in wax play, there’s no point in turning up your nose to the whole kink thing; wax play technically qualifies.
5. Soy Does One Thing. Paraffin Does Another.
GiphyOkay, so let’s spend a couple of moments talking about the things that you need to get the most out of your wax play experience. First, please don’t be out here imitating movies. While they will have you believing that you should pull a taper candle from your dining room table and go ham with it, it’s best to go with massage candles; they are specifically designed for wax play and body massages (The Knot has a recommendation list here and Women’s Health has a list of their own here).
When it comes to candles, in general, I’m always a fan of soy because they burn cleaner and last longer. However, when it comes to wax play, two other reasons why soy is best is it’s natural and “burns lower;” this simply means that once the wax hits your body, it won’t be as hot as, say, paraffin wax will (because it has a higher burning point).
What all of this means is if you want a more comfortable experience, go with a soy (or even a shea butter or beeswax) candle. If you want to play with the big (wax play) kids, try paraffin.
Oh, and if you’re wondering if you can never use “regular” candles — I mean, it’s your body. All I’m saying is some candles are designed for wax play; birthday candles? They are not. Feel me?
6. Massage Candles Feel Incredible on Your Muscles and Joints
GiphySo, here’s the thing about massage candles: If you’ve ever had a professional massage before, your massage therapist may have used them. And if you’ve gotten a high-end mani/pedi, some paraffin wax may have come into play (no pun intended). That’s because the wax from both types of candles has health benefits that include relaxing muscles, improving joint mobility, and increasing blood flow throughout the body. And when you factor in the fact that the better you physically feel before sex, the better sex will be during it — isn’t that just one more plus for and perk of wax play? I definitely think so.
7. The Aromatherapy Is Incomparable
GiphySomething else that’s awesome about most massage candles is they have a wonderfully alluring scent to them, by design. Yes, that matters too because there is plenty of data out here to support the fact that aromatherapy does everything from reduce stress and relieve bodily discomfort to treat headaches and fight off infections (word on the street is that it may even help with menstrual cramps and menopause).
As far as your sex life goes, aromatherapy is supreme because certain essential oils double up as aphrodisiacs. Lavender, neroli, and rose are proven to improve your sexual function. Geranium reduces anxiety. And listen, if climaxing is your ultimate goal, check out “Ultimate Climax Hack? 10 Scents That Make It So Much Easier To Orgasm” and then look for massage oils that smell like, say, vanilla, saffron or jasmine. Bottom line, a good massage candle that smells amazing is going to be worth every cent that you spent to purchase it.
8. You Will Learn Communication (and Dirty Talk) on a Whole ‘Nother Level
GiphyOne of the reasons why I once penned, “Are You Ready To Apply Your Love Language To Your Sex Life?” for the platform is because, if there’s one thing that I think is so awesome about sex, is it finds a way to incorporate all five of your senses (sight, touch, taste, sound and hearing) as well as your top love languages (words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch and gifts — if you’re open to it).
And when it comes to hearing (and words of affirmation), this is another area where wax play can be a winner because, as you’re learning what works for your partner and they learn what works for you, words have to be exchanged… perhaps even dirty ones.
And why is dirty talk so damn effective? According to scientific research, it has the ability to activate your entire brain (the biggest sex organ that you have) and when this is going on while you’re being physically stimulated — chile, the sky truly is the limit!
9. Wax Play Is Completely Customizable
GiphyYou know back when I was talking about soy candles vs. paraffin ones? Something that I didn’t mention, by design at the time, is that, although I will forever be Team Massage Candles when it comes to this particular topic, there are some known as wax play candles too. What’s the difference? Wax play candles tend to remain pretty hard (after being lit up) while massage candles are designed to melt into a liquid that you can massage on your partner’s body.
Why am I bringing this all up now? Well, it’s to serve as a reminder that wax play can be “dialed up” or “turned down” based on what you want to do. If you just want to put a twist on a massage, you can do that. If you’d like to test your partner’s tolerance level by applying more heat for longer, do that.
Just make sure that you use the kind of wax that doesn’t fully melt on shaved areas of the body (pretty sure why is self-explanatory), that you moisturize your skin beforehand (it’s easier to remove the wax…or whatever is leftover) that way and that you pour around 15-20 inches away from your partner’s body; that gives it time to cool somewhat on the way down. Oh, and if you don’t want to jack up your sheets, you might want to lay down a protective drop cloth (like this one here).
10. It Sure As Hell Ain’t Boring
Season 1 Friends GIF - Find & Share on GIPHYGiphyLast point — and it brings all of this full circle. Now that you’ve read all of the ways that wax play can benefit your sex life, how in the world could you associate it with “boring” on any level? Anything that can get you hype, cultivate eagerness, and enhance what you’ve already got going on…that is worth putting on your sex bucket list and trying at least one time, wouldn’t you say? And why can’t that time be…TONIGHT? Shoot your man a pick of a massage candle with a heart and watch him beat you home.
Then report back (with edits…LOL).
Something tells me that you’ll become a wax play fan — SOON.
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