When we think about how our brain is able to manage all of the decisions and operations going through our head, we can thank one cognitive role for keeping everything running smoothly: and that’s executive function.
What Is Executive Function?
Think of executive function and self-regulation skills as mental processes that enable us to plan, focus attention, remember instructions, and juggle multiple tasks successfully.
There are three common parts to executive function:
- Working Memory: Consider this to be your mental sticky notepad to help you remember things temporarily while you're doing something, like following instructions, solving problems, or planning tasks.
- Inhibition: Think of this as the traffic cop of your brain that assists you in stopping and thinking before you act, so you can make better choices — like pressing a pause button before doing something impulsive.
- Cognitive Flexibility: This is your mental adaptable problem solver for switching gears and seeing things from all angles.
But living in our current “ADHA culture,” the self-regulation of day-to-day tasks has gotten more difficult to balance, causing a dysfunction in the brain — and I’m one to admit my own struggles in this department.
One part due to adulthood, another due to not reporting to an office setting every day — not to mention the many distractions that we navigate on a daily basis — concentration and moving from one task to the next don’t always come easy to me.
It’s almost as if my brain needs its own personal assistant to delegate the list of responsibilities in my head in order to execute them efficiently. And while I haven’t been formally diagnosed with ADHD, I knew that there had to be something more to my struggles with prioritizing my to-do list, switching from one task to another, and easily getting distracted. And in learning about executive function, I could breathe a sigh of relief when I discovered that there was an actual name to make sense of this miscue in focus and that I wasn’t the only one struggling with it.
“I like to think of ADHD and executive function as a dynamic duo with a unique relationship between the two,” Corey Lewis, CEO and co-founder of the 1AND1 app, tells xoNecole. “As someone who has spent a lot of time around very successful people with ADHD, I've been able to gain insight into the relationship of ADHD with executive function. It's like a rollercoaster ride, with moments of brilliance and occasional challenges. ADHD can impact executive function, making it harder to stay focused, regulate impulses, and manage time effectively.”
"ADHD can impact executive function, making it harder to stay focused, regulate impulses, and manage time effectively."
For both Lewis and his co-founder, Thomas Drew, President at 1AND1, being former professional football players turned entrepreneurs, Drew and Lewis are normalizing mental health conversations through their wellness platform, 1AND1. “We designed the 1AND1 app to aid people in their journey toward becoming 1% better every day through incremental changes,” Drew shares.
Procrastination is a common challenge for those who struggle with executive function because of its direct impact on their ability to initiate and sustain focus on tasks. Due to executive function deficits, prioritizing, planning, and breaking down tedious and monotonous tasks into manageable steps can be difficult to manage, which tends to lead to feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and avoiding tasks altogether, thus resulting in procrastination.
“The key to conquering difficult or monotonous tasks is to break down big goals into small, achievable steps,” Drew explains. To work through these moments of monotony, Drew implements a color-coded system for prioritizing tasks based on urgency. “This helps to identify what needs immediate attention, what can be completed at a later time, and which tasks can be delegated,” he explains.
"The key to conquering difficult or monotonous tasks is to break down big goals into small, achievable steps."
Improving your executive function takes time, effort, and, most importantly, patience. But when you have the right strategies and celebrate small victories, you’ll start to see a boost in your productivity before you know it. And to help you and your brain on track, Lewis and Drew share their top strategies to enhance executive function.
Getty Images
How To Boost Your Executive Function Skills
Establish And Stick To A Daily Routine:
“Prioritize tasks by importance and urgency, and break them down into actionable steps. Utilize visual aids like calendars, to-do lists, or digital apps to keep yourself organized.”
Gamify As Many Tasks As Possible:
“It gives us the extra dopamine that our brains lack and helps us to get into that hyper-productivity, mega-flow state that is an ADHD superpower. I regularly use our 1AND1 App, which uses AI to build repetition into my schedule.”
Practice Mindfulness And Stress Management Techniques:
“[These] enhance focus and reduce distractions. Taking care of your physical health is also very important. You can accomplish this through regular exercise, proper nutrition, and quality sleep. Small tweaks to your routine can lead to significant improvements in your executive function skills.”
Apply The OTB Strategy:
“The OTB Strategy is anchored by the time-blocking and color-coding method. First, color code your tasks using the system I mentioned previously. Then, start to time block and schedule your daily tasks based on your rules”.
“After you color code and time block, for each day, identify your 'one big thing' — which is the one big thing that, if you were to fully get that done within the day — it would make the day a success. For ADHDers, we need rewards, so even if you don’t get everything done that you wanted to in a day, you can know that you accomplished your OBT, which ultimately made the day a success.”
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by LumiNola/Getty Images
- How Black Women Can Get Out Of Survival Mode At Work ›
- Don’t Sleep On LinkedIn ›
- 10 Courses Or Skills That Add More Value To Your Resume ›
Although this might seem like a heavy way to intro this particular topic, because the O Method is an orgasm-achieving technique that centers around housing energy, embracing the mental practice of manifestation, and the attempt to achieve the best climaxes ever — it all works together pretty well if you ask me. If you want to take your orgasms to the next level, it’s important that you get out of yourself (to a certain extent), that you see the spiritual role that manifestation plays, and that you are open to trying new things. No doubt about it.
So, let’s learn more about what the O Method is all about and how it very well could be just what you’ve been looking for…even if you didn’t know it.
What Is the “O Method” All About?
GiphyQuestion: When’s the last time you’ve had an orgasm? Not just any orgasm — I mean a really mind-blowing one (I’ll give you a second to think about it). Now, what if you could manifest that experience to the point where it wasn’t a rare occurrence but something that happened almost every time that you and your partner had sex with each other? How absolutely awesome would that be?
That is pretty much what the O Method is all about — helping you achieve the kind of orgasms (and sexual pleasure, in general) that you desire through the practice of manifestation. And since your biggest sex organ is your brain, it would make perfect sense that even with all of the tips and techniques that you might learn to do as far as your body is concerned, honing in on what you think about is super imperative to sexual fulfillment, too. And that’s just where manifestation comes in.
What If You’ve Never “Manifested” Anything Before?
GiphyBefore we get into a quick lesson on manifestation, I think it’s important to mention two things. One, for the cynics, there is a lot of truth in the fact that it’s got some solid spiritual basis to it because even the Good Book says that as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). At the same time, that same Good Book tells us that faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26). So, while it is always a good idea to focus on good, positive, and productive thoughts, just thinking about them isn’t enough — at some point, you’ve also gotta get out here and DO something (bookmark that).
Okay, with that mini-sermon out of the way, whether it’s in the bedroom or not, manifestation is basically about focusing on something tangible that you desire, harnessing your energy in such a way that your words and actions are directed towards that longing until what you want, well, manifests. For the record, aside from this having a spiritual backing to it, in many ways, science cosigns on manifesting, too. There is actually a scientific process known as neuroplasticity that consists of reframing your mind so that your actions ultimately end up aligning with your goals — and that is another way to look at manifestation.
So, what if you’re someone who has never set out to do a manifestation practice before? No worries. Something that’s awesome about it is there are several different approaches that you can take.
Some people manifest what they want in their lives via:
- Journaling
- Visualization/Creating vision boards
- Writing down their desires before going to bed (so that they can “download” them into their dream state)
- Creating mantras and affirmations
- Applying the 369 Manifestation Method (you can learn more about that here)
- Meditating
- Learning more about what you want to manifest (which brings forth clarity)
This is important to keep in mind because, when it comes to manifesting the types of orgasms that you want to have, as you can see, you can try different manifestation methods until you find one (or ones) that you are truly comfortable with. One that can ease you into the entire process rather smoothly is something known as sex journaling.
How Sex Journaling Can Actually Help You to Have an Orgasm
GiphyAs a writer, I’m a big fan of journaling. Mostly because it’s a way to get out some of your deepest thoughts and feelings so that you’re able to really process what is happening inside of you in a private setting. And when it comes to sex journaling, specifically, it’s all about centering yourself on the things sexually that you want to “unpack,” get clarity on or come to some revelations about. For instance, if there’s only been one partner from your past who’s been able to help you achieve the type of orgasms that you wish to manifest, journaling about what makes him different from the other guys can provide you with some solid ah-ha moments.
Or if you need help getting as specific as possible about the sexual experiences that you’re after, journaling can help to make that happen for you — because one thing that manifesting reminds us all to do is be as specific as possible.
Yeah, simply saying, “I want to have better sex” isn’t detailed enough when you want to get your energy to match with your desires — instead, describe how all of your senses should feel in the experience, along with why, that can get you so much closer to achieving your goal. Once those things are documented, you can segue into creating mantras and/or meditation that are based on them. Yeah, sex journaling really is an underrated superpower on a lot of levels (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”).
5 Tips for Making the O Method Work for You
GiphyNow that you know more about what the O Method is and how manifestation plays a direct role in its process, let’s talk about five ways to make the O Method truly effective in your own (sex) life.
1. Focus, FULLY, on your feminine energy. What do rose quartz, amethyst, moonstone (which is a Gemini birthstone as well; yes, I’m a Gemini), selenite, and rhodonite all have in common? They’re crystals that help you to go deeper into your divine feminine energy. Traits that are associated with this include compassion, creativity, kindness, gentleness, and sensuality (feminine energy is also accepting and forgiving). If you were to study energy from a biological standpoint, it’s about producing change, responding to stimuli, and having the ability to do what needs to be done (work). So, when it comes to manifesting the kind of orgasms or sexual experiences that you want, using things like your creativity and gentleness in your thoughts and actions can play a role in bringing balance to your partner’s masculinity, which can create a profound sense of pleasure — after all, opposites do attract.
2. Don’t hold back on what it is that you desire. Whenever I interview sex therapists, something that they all say is, a huge mistake that people make as far as sexual satisfaction is concerned is, they have walls up — not just with their partners but even within themselves. Sometimes, there is intimidation, fear, or even shame around what they really want to happen during sex to the point where they aren’t able to channel their energy fully in those directions in order to manifest what they want. For the O Method to work, you can’t let those types of negative emotions hinder you; the more you are able to articulate what you want and how you want it, the better chance you have of making it happen. So yes, get graphic. As graphic as possible.
3. Make manifestation a daily practice. Repetition is important when it comes to manifestation. That’s because the more you declare what you desire (a mantra), get still and think on it (meditation), or look at the “art” that you’ve created surrounding it (visualization), the quicker it becomes a part of you. So yes, make manifestation a daily practice. For instance, if one of your mantras is, “I am going to have intensely passionate orgasms, one right after the other,” don’t just state that 15 minutes before sex is going to happen. Wake up and declare it. Then say it on your lunch break. And again before turning in. The more your thoughts are “streamlined” in this way, the easier it will be for your body to follow suit.
4. Share this practice with your partner. If you were to do even more research on the O Method, one thing that most of the articles will mention is it’s a practice that you can do alone or with your partner. Indeed. However, I just want to make sure that you get into your psyche that great sex is, in part, about good communication. And so, the more comfortable you are sharing with your partner what you are doing as far as the O Method is concerned and what you ultimately want to happen as a result of the practice, the easier it will be for him to “match your energy” — both in and out of the bedroom. And when your partner is on the same page as you? That definitely increases the chances of attaining your sexual desires — exponentially so.
5. Stay in the moment. While I was reading one article on manifestation, I really appreciated something that the author said: manifestation isn’t some supernatural power. In other words, while it can be beneficial, it’s not like you can just think of something, and it instantly appears out of nowhere. Manifesting is a discipline, and it must be accompanied by action, consistency, and patience — this means that you must also practice mindfulness. Meaning, now that you know better what you’re looking to achieve as far as sex is concerned, every time that it transpires, maintain a level of positive energy, remember what your end goal is, and then determine in your mind to enjoy the moments as they come. Remember, manifestation isn’t to add stress…it’s to cultivate clarity.
_____
At the end of the day, the O Method is simply a way of reminding you that your mind plays a huge role in your sexual pleasure, and when you channel it and your energy exactly where you want them both to go, you’ll be amazed what your body is capable of doing…and accomplishing.
So, what kind of orgasm are you wanting to achieve? You’ve got a tool to get you there. USE IT.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Giphy
