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This Serial Entrepreneur Spends $2,500 On Monthly Self-Care
Money Talks is an xoNecole series where we talk candidly to real women about how they spend money, their relationship with money, and how they spend it.
Name another 24-year-old who is the owner of multiple businesses, sells products including a 24k gold silverware set, and is preparing to release a new book and apparel line? Don't worry, I'll wait. Though she originally got her start in entrepreneurship during her time at Georgia State University, the Georgia peach wasted zero time getting acquainted with the idea of being her own boss by hosting her own eyelash seminars shortly after graduation in 2016. With the success of her first course racking up $50,000 in a single day, BiggJazz took her class on the road around the country, garnering tons of fans in the process––currently amassing nearly 400K Instagram followers in the process.
Jazmine Ameerah Cheaves, more popularly known as "Lookin Ameerah" or "BiggJazz" by her social followers, is a viral social media influencer, serial entrepreneur, and young visionary millennial who has successfully generated millions in just a few short years. Her businesses include her cosmetics products, touring lash classes, cookware, and The Glam Trap, her full-service beauty studio located in Atlanta, Georgia. Her book, Entrepreneurship Talk With A Real Ass Boss by BiggJazz gives readers the inside scoop into her hustle mentality and inability to patiently wait for opportunities to come her way.
Courtesy of Jazmine Ameerah Cheaves
Though her studio took a bit of a hit in the spring due to COVID-19, she successfully bounced back by launching her own line of cookware called Lookin Ameerah Cookware, which consists of colorful and uniquely styled cooking products and accessories. As someone who loves to cook, BiggJazz also took it upon herself to write a book titled Lookin A Cookbook with some of her favorite recipes and is releasing her own line of seasonings and sauces. "Investing is extremely important to me. Financially, mentally, spiritually, and physically. Right now, I am exploring investment opportunities that can help me to build wealth," Cheaves shared.
In this installment of "Money Talks", xoNecole spoke with the Atlanta-based millennial beauty mogul and business owner about taking questionable financial risks in college, her love for cooking and benefits of saving and flipping money to sustain revenue.
On her definitions of wealth and success:
"For me, I define wealth as being able to live comfortably, knowing that I don't have to worry about where my next meal is coming from or if I can pay my bills. It is about freedom to do what I want to do and to have others around me happy. In my eyes, I won't be fully wealthy until I am a multi-millionaire. Success equals knowing that nobody can take credit for, or destroy what I've built. Success is being happy, free, financially secure, and healthy in mind, body, and spirit."
On the lowest she’s ever felt when it came to her finances and how she overcame it:
"The lowest I've ever felt financially was during my time in college. I couldn't pay my rent and I didn't know where I was getting my next meal from. I decided I never wanted to live like that again. I got off my ass and hustled. I knew nothing would come to me––I had to go out and get it for myself. I've always been creative, so I put that creativity and vision to use."
"I got off my ass and hustled. I knew nothing would come to me––I had to go out and get it for myself. I've always been creative, so I put that creativity and vision to use."
On whether she’s a spender or a saver:
"I consider myself a saver, even though I do spend a good amount of money. I experienced having to go without, so when I started making money it felt good to watch that bank account fill up. I learned to save money by doing my research about how successful people save."
On her savings goals and what retirement looks like to her:
"My goal is to be a multi-millionaire. Most millionaires have seven revenue streams and I am already halfway there. When I retire, I want to be making money in my sleep so I can just enjoy life and do what I want."
On her budgeting must-haves:
"I like to eat, so we definitely have to put dining out on the budget, and buy quality food because I like to cook... I like to invest in my wardrobe, going to the spa to relax and unwind, and I love to travel. Anything that has to do with beauty and self-care is my priority. I don't cut corners there."
On her intentions behind multiple streams of revenue:
"My streams of revenue are my businesses–The Glam Trap, Lookin' (by Lookin Ameerah), Lookin Ameerah Cookware, and of course my books. My intention behind multiple ways to make money is that I never want to go without ever again. I've grown accustomed to a luxury lifestyle and it takes work to maintain it. In the beginning, I used all of my money from lash seminars, flipped it, and invested in other product lines to create more revenue."
"My intention behind multiple ways to make money is that I never want to go without ever again. I've grown accustomed to a luxury lifestyle and it takes work to maintain it. In the beginning, I used all of my money from lash seminars, flipped it, and invested in other product lines to create more revenue."
On unhealthy money habits and mindsets:
"I make fast money, so the mindset: 'I'll make it back tomorrow,' set me back for some years. I was young and immature about money. Now, I have learned to be more responsible and plan for the future. The change I saw was that my money started to add up and everything made more sense. Before, I would make $10,000 and have only shoes and clothes to show for it. I started to invest more in my business and my brand so that I could get a return on my investment."
On her money mantra:
"My mantra is 'make it make sense,' and, 'no one is going to give you anything, you have to get up and get it yourself.'"
On the craziest thing she’s ever done for money:
"The craziest thing I did was sell my Adderall prescription in college instead of taking them."
On the worst money-related decision she’s ever made:
"The worst decisions were carrying cash and not keeping money in the bank. Also, trusting others with my money. I learned that you have to be involved in every aspect of your business to know what is going on."
On her budget breakdown:
How much do you spend on rent?
"I stay in a luxury condo in Atlanta, so it costs a couple thousand. $2,850."
Eating out/ordering in?
"I like to cook a lot, so if I am not making a meal myself, I eat out and it has to be great food. I spend at least $60."
Gas/car note?
"I drive a 2020 Mercedes AMG and my car note is $860. It uses premium gas, so it costs me about $50 to fill up, so I spend between $100-$150 a week on gas depending on what I have to do and where I need to go during the week."
Personal expenses?
"My personal expenses include daily self-care, such as makeup, hair, shopping and going to the spa. I definitely invest a great deal in myself. That is where most of the money is spent so it can run me at least $2,500."
For more Jazmine, follow her on Instagram!
Featured image courtesy of Jazmine Cheaves.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
The Common Denominator Is You. So, Why Do You Keep Choosing The Wrong Men?
Everywhere you go, there you are. It’s one of those popular sayings (kind of like “It is what it is”) that I find myself using a lot, especially when I’m in sessions with my clients. Why? Well, it’s kind of likean article that I once read that pretty much said our culture likes to play the toxic game of blaming other people because it’s an easy way to deflect from personal accountability (check out “What It Actually Means To 'Hold Yourself Accountable'”). So true, so true,
Well, another way of saying “everywhere you go, there you are” is using the math term “common denominator” — and today, what we’re going to attempt to tackle is, why is it that some of us, if we stepped back a moment to take a very real and honest assessment of our dating life, do we always end up with the same kind of guy? One who really isn’t the best for us; sometimes, not even close.
Before getting into some questions that I think can help you get to the answer, let me just say that this is definitely one of the kinds of pieces that may step on at least your pinky toe before it’s all said and done. At the same time, although this might not be the most comfortable of reads, keep in mind what the late poet, singer, and publisher Tuli Kupferberg once said, “When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.”
And so, if when it comes to the caliber of men you’ve dated, what you’ve been doing is revealing that your pattern is not really working for your ultimate good, spend a bit of time trying to unpack just why that could be the case — why, at the end of the day, you truly are the common denominator in it all.
How Self-Aware Are You?
About five years ago, I penned an article for the site entitled “These Are The Things Self-Aware People Do Daily.” You know, of all of the things to be in this life, prioritizing self-awareness is king because self-aware people do things like hold themselves accountable, know their strengths and weaknesses, identify their triggers, have good boundaries, self-reflect, pay attention to their own “blind spots” — and they can — eh hem — take feedback and constructive criticism pretty well.
That last one? If you’re constantly in a hamster wheel or even a cul-de-sac when it comes to men, be honest with yourself: did your family, friends, hell, even your co-workers warn you about some of the guys you dated, and you found yourself either defending, deflecting or getting offended? Yeah, self-aware people don’t get down like that because they would rather have peace and be wrong than act like they are always right and remain in chaos.
So yeah, if you’re always in some foolishness or even in relationships that are simply a counterproductive waste of time, pondering how self-aware you actually are is a really good place to start. Self-reflect. Know your weaknesses. Listen to what others have to say about your tendencies. All of this can do you a whole lot of good.
How Humble Are You?
Society is a wild place, boy. The reason why I say that is because, while it’s out here acting like humility is a bad thing, Scripture says, “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.” (Proverbs 22:4) And why is humility such a vital spiritual attribute? Because, when you’re humble — you’re grateful; you’re teachable; you’re open to seeing things outside of your own perspective; you’re compassionate and empathetic; you’re flexible; you’re forgiving, and you’re able to release your ego so that you can accept what you need over what you want.
What you need over what you want. Chile, if that doesn’t keep some people in cyclic stuff, I honestly don’t know what does. There’s a client that I have right now who only contacts me when she’s basically blown up her life because she constantly gets caught up in a man’s looks and bedroom performance. When I tell her that she needs to stop making that #1 and #2 of things to look for in a relationship, she “uh-huh's” me and then does what she wants to do anyway — only for it to end up wreaking all sorts of havoc…again.
It’s another message for another time about how some of us could stand to look within to see if wanting a fine man above all else is more about validating some deep-rooted insecurities that we have about our own looks (ouch). For now, I’ll just say that if your ego is out here telling you that looks and sexual performance should trump things like character and consistency, it is LYING to you. If you chose to heed the humble side of yourself, you would know that.
And this actually brings me to my next question.
How Stuck Are You in Your “Type”?
The reason why I wrote “According To Experts, We All Have A ‘Type’” back in the day is because it’s true — pretty much all of us have a type which is pretty much a preference; there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that either. At the same time, I’m advising, from very up close and personal experience, that it’s a good idea to spend some time pondering “the origin story” of where your type came from.
Me? I’m always gonna be down for a very tall, hella chocolate, basketball (or soccer) build Black man. However, I’m a sexual abuse survivor and my molester looked a lot like that, so during the healing process of what he did to me, I had to factor in his influence. Plus, my first love also fits the physical mold and he definitely had quite an impact on my life. So…see what I mean? My type didn’t just come out of nowhere. Yes, sometimes your type may have some trauma or drama attached to it. And yes, that might be really uncomfortable to think about; still, that doesn’t mean it’s not true.
Now my late fiancé? He was right at about 6’ and, complexion-wise, he was lighter than I am. He treated me better than most of the men of my past, though — and even though he definitely pursued me for a while to get me to consider us beyond being friends, because I took a risk outside of my type, I learned what it was like to be loved in a healthy way. And what that did for me was it taught me to remain open outside of my standard type. I still like a tall-ass Godiva man, chile (and don’t let him have a beard and be in a tailored suit!). I don’t limit myself to that package, though. To do so would be severely limiting — potentially tragic even.
How Healed Are You?
“Healed” is a word that comes up A LOT in the social media space. When it comes to relationships, specifically, it’s important to ask yourself if you are healed from your past because, if you aren’t, you very well could be reliving it over and over…and over again, whether you realize it (or choose to accept it) or not.
Just so that we’re all on the same page, the word “heal” means things like healthy, sound, and whole. Synonyms for the word include improve, restore, mend, soothe, and rehabilitate. Signs that you have healed from past hurts of a relationship (or a series of relationships) include you don’t think of them with anger or bitterness; you can see the silver linings from the experience; you’ve forgiven them for things that they did wrong (or that simply hurt you — and no, that’s not always one and the same), and you don’t pick (or avoid) other people to be in your life solely based on what someone else did to you.
What I mean by that last one is an unhealed woman may say something like, “I don’t want to do [such and such] for a first date. That’s what my ex liked to do.” The new guy isn’t him, so why does he have to be beholden to your past? Or, “I don’t trust men who won’t let me go through their phone. That’s how I found out my ex was cheating.” You know, for all of the women who like to play a non-animated form ofInspector Gadget (the real ones know), they sure don’t want their phones inspected as much as they like to do all of the inspecting. SMDH. Anyway, I don’t go through phones. For what? I don’t pay the bill and I’m not anyone’s parent. And so, your next guy not preferring it either? That doesn’t automatically mean that he’s up to no good — he may just want his boundaries respected. An unhealed person may not accept that. A healed one tends to, though.
And how can being unhealed play a direct role in you choosing the same guys over and over again? It’s weird because, sometimes you will go back to what’s familiar to you — because the new guy is such a risk, you’d prefer to “stick to the devil you know” than take a chance on someone who rolls very differently. It’s a cryptic way of remaining the common denominator in your dating dynamics. Oh, but it happens all of the time, chile.
What Makes a Man WRONG for You? Specifically?
Okay, with a lot of the inner work out of the way, how do you even come to the conclusion that someone (or several people) is wrong for you? Because you know what? Once you’ve done some real healing (and serious maturing), you can oftentimes find yourself accepting the fact that just because someone may not be right for you, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. No, not at all.
Although the word “wrong” can mean that something or someone isn’t morally right, wrong also means things like erroneous, not suitable or appropriate, not in accordance with certain requirements, or — and please catch it — out of order (which sometimes consists of the right thing happening at the wrong time). So, if it does seem like you keep choosing (because it is always a choice; that is also where accountability comes in) men who aren’t appropriate, aren’t in accordance with your needs or standards, or who aren’t what you need at the time — why is that? Is it rooted in fear? Impatience? Settling? What?
I have had enough clients go through this to know that it’s not good enough to be abstract about someone being “wrong” for you. You need to set aside one weekend, get some wine and a fresh journal, and really get into what wrong looks like. For instance, if you keep lowering your standards (which is the wrong thing to do, by definition), why is that? Because no matter how wrong the guy may ultimately turn out to be, what you have to be willing to accept is — again — you chose him. Why do you choose what’s wrong? Because, more times than not, some red (or at least orange) flags were waving long before the relationship came crashing down; oftentimes, they reveal themselves within the first couple of dates. You just chose to ignore them.
One more.
Do You Know a Good Man When You See One? You Sure?
As we close all of this out, when you get a chance, please check out “Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?” Learning the difference between “to” and “for” took my own relational processing to an entirely new and freeing level. And you know what? Back to the healing point, another way to know that you’ve healed is you don’t generalize men. Meaning, that if you’re out here declaring that there aren’t any good ones, that’s not true; you’re just jaded (I mean, it’s the truth), and that head and energy space is affecting your judgment and perspective.
That said, if you’re constantly selecting the wrong men, ask yourself if you even know what a good man looks like (cue India.Arie’s “Good Man”). Again, by definition, good means things like morally excellent, right, kind, friendly, benevolent, educated, financially sound (not rich, stable and responsible…goodness), genuine, reliable, dependable, responsible, attractive, warm, intimate — satisfactory to the purpose (yes, that’s a literal definition).
For a man to be good for you, you need to know what purpose he is to serve at this particular point in your life because if, for example, all men seem to do, in your eyes, is use you for sex, why are you prioritizing sex over an emotional connection if the latter is the purpose that you seek right now? A lot of women can stop being the common denominator when it comes to choosing the wrong man if they 1) become the good that they seek and 2) do not betray the purpose behind why they even desire a relationship in the first place.
____
I know. When things aren’t going your way when it comes to matters of the heart, it can be easy to always say it’s the man’s fault. If there’s a pattern, though, please be a bit more self-reflective than that.
Once you do, you’d be amazed by how much about you shifts — to where the wrong guys can’t even get close to you, in the way that they used to, anymore.
Because you cease to be the “common denominator” you once were.
And how wonderful is that?
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