How To Protect Your Coins & Your Peace In The Process
If you feel insecure about your finances, you're not alone. Sixty-two percent of American millennials claim to live paycheck-to-paycheck and only thirty-eight percent consider themselves financially stable. Many financial experts believe that overspending is the culprit. Money habits may be keeping you from living your best financial life, regardless of an adequate income. But, that ends today! In the past, my money habits haven't served me because I simply lacked the knowledge.
I am a Black woman, born to two Caribbean parents who became naturalized American citizens. Not only were they able to become naturalized citizens, but they created a life that resembled the typical "American dream". We were middle class but lacked the proper financial knowledge to build wealth. I never questioned our money habits until I got older and began to notice others in the same income bracket could accumulate wealth, but we struggled to. I realized that our money habits were the problem, not our income.
Don't worry, it's not too late to refresh your tired finances. Keep reading to learn about positive money habits to embrace!
Adopt an Abundant Money Mindset
"Scarcity creates a powerful goal dealing with pressing needs and ignoring other goals," according to psychological theory. A scarcity mindset is a majority-default mindset. It's operating with a mentality that you'll never have enough money now nor in the future or thinking of money as being out of your control and another's responsibility. Overall, thinking about money brings you stress and you dislike it.
A person with an abundance mindset loves money and feels a sense of control over it. They don't believe time and money are related or that working harder is the only way to make more money. If they want more money, they create more money because their mind creates money.
You can develop a money mindset by taking control of your finances through budgeting, investing, and entrepreneurship. You don't have to live paycheck-to-paycheck and let money control your every decision. Break your old habits and take real action. Upgrade your mindset, so you can upgrade your wallet.
Practice Good Money Management
Sometimes, the problem isn't needing more money, but how are you managing your money. Budgeting, saving, investing, and spending are all apart of money management. It may seem like a boring process, but dedicating a few hours a month to money management can help to get your life into order. It's completely worth it. If you manage your money properly, in the long-term you will have more money to spend on things that bring you joy. There's no point in gaining extra income but feeling like you are living the same paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle.
Budget Everything
Over one-third of millennials don't have any money set aside for an unexpected expense or some sort of emergency. This is a problem because you are risking increased debt to cover emergency expenses and you lack control over your finances. You need to be in control of your finances to create financial stability, which means budgeting is your friend. The budgeting tips below will help to kick your finances into shape:
- Budget to zero before the month even begins. (This doesn't mean you have an empty bank account.) Allocate every dollar of income to expenses, savings, and debt payments.
- Change your budget monthly. Make the proper adjustments to your budget that reflect the holidays, events, and vacays for that month. Prevent stress by preparing for any extra expenses for that particular month.
- Prioritize your expenses. Allocate funds to saving and giving and then to your living necessities (shelter, food, utilities, etc.). After your necessities are taken care of, then you can focus on the rest of your budget.
Plan to Spend Beforehand
Another tip is to make a list of the reasons to give yourself the green light to lend or spend money. There's nothing wrong with spending money, but the reasoning matters. We all want to see Beyonce in concert, but that's not a reason to lend a loved one money. (And spontaneously spending your entire paycheck on a designer pair of shoes just isn't the move.) A nice trick is to plan your spending at least 24 hours beforehand so you don't emotionally overspend. Be extremely intentional and future-minded with your purchases.
All in all, protect your energy by protecting your coins. A life of financial stability helps to rid you of unnecessary stress and wasted energy.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
How To Break Free From A Broke Mindset & Attract Abundance
The 5 Money Myths That Are Keeping You Broke, Sis
10 Budgeting Apps That Will Get Your Coins All The Way Together
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Aaliyah Sydonie Williams is a lover of pomegranates, intimate concerts, fluffy socks and all things R&B. She's a founder of a college advice blog, Her Little Corner, where she dishes helpful advice for college students to slay their college experience. When Aaliyah isn't eating at Starbucks, she's studying for her courses in finance, discovering new spots in the city, and brushing up on her photography skills. Keep up with her at Aaliyah Williams (@aaliyahsydonie).
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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