"Deprivation".
"Restrictions".
"Boring".
All of these words constantly ran through my mind when I first tried to get my finances in order and implement a budget. I had so many failed attempts because, for one, I was making my budgets super unrealistic and, two, I cringed at just the thought of having to even be on a budget. I just didn't get why I needed one. So quite naturally, I was unable to make it a consistent habit.
Fast forward a few years later, I started to grasp the concept of a budget much better. I'd attribute that to mindset shifts as well. I realized that a budget was simply just a spending plan and that I didn't have to strip all of the things I loved and enjoyed doing in order to be successful with budgeting.
You can still live your best life while on a budget.
I didn't have to give up brunch with my girls or have to compromise my style. Once I implemented budgeting into my life, I was actually able to do MORE of the things that I enjoyed simply because I was much more responsible with my coins and knew where everything was going. I also cut out things from my life/expenses that did not serve me any longer and that I didn't value.
That's why I can appreciate the 50/30/20 rule when it comes to budgeting. It's simple, realistic, and doesn't deprive you of those things that you love while taking care of business. Let me break it down for you.
The 50/30/20 rule is simply this:
- 50% of your income goes to your needs
- 30% of your income goes to your wants
- 20% of your income goes to your savings and other goals
See, simple right?
Here's how you set a solid foundation and get started with implementing this rule into your lifestyle.
Analyze spending habits
First, it's imperative that you analyze your spending habits prior to establishing this budgeting rule.
Most people spend more money than they think they are actually spending. Additionally, they don't really know where their money is going. You need to analyze your spending habits in order to get down to the nitty gritty. Taking time to really dig into your accounts will help you when deciding where you want to allocate your coins with the 50/30/20 rule. It's super hard to get your financial life in order if you don't know where your money is going.
Make sure you are taking a close look into the discretionary spending that you are doing. These expenses are those that vary from month to month, to include:
- Eating Out
- Clothing
- Groceries
- Going Out/Entertainment
- Transportation
Ask yourself, "Am I doing the most with my spending, or nah?" Keep it 100!
Determine your actual needs (50%) vs. your wants (30%)
Additionally, many people have trouble sticking to a budget because they find it hard to determine the difference between true needs and wants.
Needs are items that you must have for basic survival/daily living. For example, food, housing, clothing, transportation, insurance, etc are all needs.
Wants are items you desire, but can live without. For example, travel, entertainment, hobbies, eating out, memberships, etc are all wants.
To determine if an item is a need or a want, picture yourself living without it. What consequences would occur if you didn't have that item in your life? Would those consequences have a significant impact or would you just miss the item? Being honest about the difference between a need and a want is a critical step towards smart budgeting.
Using the rule of 50% towards needs and 30% towards wants, actually allocate your income accordingly.
Identify savings and other financial goals (20%)
Once you've gotten clarity on where you're spending your money and identified your needs and wants, you then need to figure out what you want to accomplish with the remaining 20% of your income.
Here's a few questions to get you going:
- How much do you want to contribute to retirement?
- How much do you want to contribute to your emergency fund?
- Do you have any debts you want to pay off? How much extra do you want to contribute to reach those goals?
- Do you have any other investment goals? How much do you want to invest?
This is the roadmap for the 50/30/20 rule. Here's a quick example:
MONTHLY TAKE HOME PAY: $3,200
NEEDS: $1600
Rent $1,000
Utilities $150
Transportation $100
Food $200
Insurance $150
WANTS: $960
Travel $400
Eating Out $150
Nails $50
Apple Music $10
Netflix $10
Gym $10
Hair $130
Sneakers $200
SAVINGS/GOALS: $640
Emergency Fund $90
401K $150
Debt Payoff $400
The most important step comes with the implementation and execution.
Once you determine how much and where, it's time to actually put it to use and see how it works for you. The fact that it's easy to use and to get started with regardless of your income is an advantage of using this method. Additionally, you'll be able to shape bomb money management habits without having to do too much while simultaneously saving for your future. I also love how it's super flexible and you can adjust everything to fit your lifestyle and income increases over time.
One con of this method is that it may not be realistic for those whose expenses are over 50% of their income. If that's the case, you can determine if there's anything you can cut out or bring in additional cash if needed.
This framework should allow you to get a better grasp on your money management and grow your savings in the process. Just like with everything else, you have to find what works best for you and stick with it in order to see results.
Do you subscribe to the 50/30/20 rule when you budget? What are some of your tips for effective budgeting?
Featured image by StellrWeb on Unsplash
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Kristin Sutton (aka the Money Therapist) is a personal finance and lifestyle blogger/coach over at DebtFreeBlackGirl.com that empowers young women to take control of their finances by changing the way they think about money. As a licensed therapist, her daily mission is to uncover and eliminate the mental roadblocks that hinder people from living the life of their dreams. You can find her on all things social: @DebtFreeBlkGrl
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Feature image by Franco Zulueta
Hot Girl Moms: How These Black Celebrities Are Breaking Motherhood Stereotypes
Lately, I have really been in awe of Black moms — from my friends to celebrities. It's both beautifully surprising and thought-provoking to see your people navigating parenthood. Beyond this, it's truly inspiring to witness these Black women redefine motherhood, challenge societal norms, and pave the way for future generations.
One thing that has stood out is the way they choose to mother while also honoring themselves in every way. For one, motherhood doesn’t mean trading in your style, confidence, or ambition. There are powerhouse Black women who effortlessly balance being moms while keeping their hot-girl energy intact. From rocking stages to slaying red carpets, we decided to round up some celebs who redefine what it means to have it all.
These women are living proof that you don’t have to trade in your hot girl card when you become a mom. They’ve shown the world that you can be a caregiver and still exude the confidence, ambition, and style that makes you, you. Who says you can’t have it all?
Beyoncé
(L-R) Beyoncé and Blue Ivy Carter
Amy Sussman/WireImage
When you’re Queen Bey, there’s no dimming your light—ever. As a mom to Blue Ivy and twins Rumi and Sir, Beyoncé continues to dominate the music industry, embodying grace, power, and unmatched work ethic. From headlining Coachella to dropping jaw-dropping visuals for Renaissance, she proves motherhood only enhances the glow. In 2013, Beyonce told Vogue, that becoming a mother helped her to really understand the power of her body:
“I just feel my body means something completely different. I feel a lot more confident about it. Even being heavier, thinner, whatever. I feel a lot more like a woman. More feminine, more sensual. And no shame.”
Victoria Monét
Victoria Monét is the epitome of "cool mom energy." With her adorable daughter Hazel as her muse, she’s kept us grooving with tracks like "On My Mama." Balancing new motherhood and a skyrocketing career, she’s proof that you can have it all—and look flawless doing it.
During an interview with Self, Victoria shared, "After I had Hazel, I went into a full depression. I was very hard on myself, and just judging so much and worrying about what I used to look like and what I used to have. It’s just all living in the past, which is the setup [for feeling like a failure]," she says. "[But] you have to think forward. It’s been a battle to be okay with whatever size I am at the time. So if I go to Disneyland with Hazel, I’m not going to be worrying about the churro, because we’re only at Disney one day."
Jhené Aiko
Jhené Aiko keeps her ethereal energy strong as a mom to two kids, Namiko Love and Noah Hasani. From creating soulful, healing music to co-parenting like a pro, Jhené’s free-spirited essence shows you can nurture both your kids and your inner goddess.
This year, The Purple Agency honored a select group of prominent mothers for their inaugural Mom Honors and the "Stay Ready" singer was among the honorees. Aiko delivered a moving keynote address to conclude the event, sharing her lifelong aspiration of being a mom:
“I always knew I wanted to be a mom more than anything. That was my dream. This is great and I love to do this, but this is not my dream […] It’s fun, but nothing fulfills me more than being a mom."
Ciara
Ciara is serving hot girl mom with no signs of slowing down. From slaying the red carpet with Russell Wilson to inspiring moms everywhere with her fitness and dance routines, Ciara makes sure motherhood doesn’t put a pause on her glow-up. It’s clear that motherhood drives this Atlanta girly. CiCi told Yahoo Music:
“For me, I can speak for myself: Being a mom gave me a bit more of sexy confidence. And it's not about what I'm wearing, it's just more of an internal feeling. I feel there's something very cool about being able to deliver a child, and being able to work hard to get yourself back to that place before you had that child. It's a rewarding feeling… If anything, I think the sexy gets turned up even more!”
Serena Williams
Serena might have retired from professional tennis, but her "hot girl mom" era is still thriving. As a mom to Olympia and a new baby girl, Adira River, Serena continues to serve Black excellence, whether she’s owning the boardroom or slaying on social media. Speaking about how she became to be such a fearless woman toAllure, Serena said:
"I think my mom instilled in us to be confident women, to really believe in ourselves, be proud of our heritage, our hair, and our bodies. That was something that was really important for her to teach us. I’m definitely teaching it to my daughter.”
Rihanna
The billionaire beauty mogul, music icon, and now mother of two, Rihanna is redefining motherhood with unapologetic confidence. From rocking her baby bump at the Super Bowl to running her Fenty empire, Rih proves being a mom only amplifies the bad gal energy.
When asked about how motherhood initially felt for her, she told British Vogue, “Oh, my God, it’s legendary.” Rihanna also affirmed, "Women just need a little bit of validation," she said to The Associated Press. Adding, "You are beautiful. Your body's beautiful. Your body is sexy and you deserve to feel that way."
Cardi B
Cardi’s personality remains larger than life—even as a mom of two. Between her jaw-dropping fashion moments and hilarious, unfiltered parenting takes, she proves motherhood doesn’t stop you from being the life of the party. The Bronx native has had no problems sharing that she has so much compassion—and love and appreciation— for all mothers in the world.
“There is no excuse, we have to do it. I have compassion for good mothers who get up and hustle and work, or even not work—having kids is work. Raising a kid is work.”
And what a feat to work and werk at the same time!
Teyana Taylor
Teyana Taylor is the queen of doing it all. As a mom of two daughters, Iman Jr. and Rue, she balances a multifaceted career as a singer, director, and actress, all while keeping her edgy, hot-girl aesthetic on lock. Teyana Taylor's exceptionally toned physique, showcased in Kanye West's "Fade" music video just eight months after giving birth, ignited widespread admiration and inspired many women to prioritize their fitness goals.
“I love that I can inspire women to feel that way,” she told The FADER. “This video was to do just that. To inspire women and to let them know that we are super women, each and every one of us.”
Kelly Rowland
As a mom to Titan and Noah, Kelly Rowland stays killing the game with her elegance and star power. From her music to her dedication to fitness and fashion, she’s proof you can slay in both the boardroom and the playroom. When it comes to finding the balance of doing it all, she told Scary Mommy:
“I think [that’s] the hardest thing about being a mom. How can I be the best mom, wife, friend, and version of myself all at once? It can be overwhelming at times, but I’ve learned to become more patient with both others and myself, and remind myself it’s okay not to be everything for everyone all of the time.”
Flo Milli
Flo Milli
Taylor Hill/Getty Images
While the “Never Lose Me” singer just announced her pregnancy on Nov. 25, we just know she’s gonna give hot mom vibes. The rapper took to social media sharing, “Flo mommy s— i can’t even see my coochie nomore that’s crazy.” She proudly displayed her baby bump in a series of photos, wearing a white crop top and orange shorts, reminding us that Flo Milli will always remain true to herself.
In an interview with Elle, Flo Milli shared she was raised in a nurturing environment with strong female role models, and she was inspired by neo-soul artists who emphasized self-love and empowerment. These influences instilled in her a strong sense of self-worth, which she actively promotes, particularly for dark-skinned Black women who often face challenges in the music industry. Flo Milli believes that self-perception is paramount, regardless of external opinions.
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