I Chose Abstinence When I No Longer Felt Fulfilled By Casual Sex

Sex

When anyone asks me to describe the dating scene today the first thought that comes to mind is Drake's "Doing it Wrong" lyrics, "We live in a generation of, not being in love, and not being together."


Even previously while in relationships, something always felt temporary and inorganic and there was never much certainty of a title or status. I couldn't recall the last time I was involved with someone and felt total fulfillment from anything in the situation other than sex. Many situationships these days begin and end in sex, and maybe a little false hope of commitment in between.

Related: 5 Love Lessons I've Learned from Being in a Situationship

Those were the men I referred to as my "something to do" boo because the peak of the productivity between us occurred only during a spontaneous Netflix and Chill night, thereby designating them as something to do when there's nothing to do. Of course, there was the usual night out to eat here and there, and maybe a movie, but never anything that knocked me off my feet and gave me an experience that was remarkably unique. I think sex played a heavy role in the lack of effort. Was this what I preferred? Absolutely not.

By nature, humans desire love and companionship, no matter how much they try to deny it. I'd take a romantic walk in the park with my partner any day over a random night of sexcapades.

It was one Sunday morning that I woke up and realized there was some truth to a tweet I recently came across which read, "Women can eliminate weak men in a single generation by simply refusing to sleep with them."


After some heavy reflection and contemplation, I decided that it's best to hold back on sex until I'm in a fulfilling committed relationship. Normally, women choose to practice abstinence until they're married, but I knew my limitations and wanted to set a realistic goal for myself. I believe that for any woman seeking to settle down and be in a committed relationship with someone, they might also want to consider eliminating sex until then.

Here are the ways you can approach and practice abstinence while dating:

Always keep in mind and prioritize your long-term goal.

freeform.azureedge.net

When you reach a point where you're past the fun exploration stage of dating and your expectations have heightened, make sure your ultimate goal is at the forefront of every decision you make. You should choose who and how you date based on what's the best fit for your choice to omit sex until commitment.

Pay attention to the initial signs, there are going to be key characteristics of someone who's truly interested or just looking to "hit it."

Sign up today and be the first to get notified on new updates, exclusive events, retreats and giveaways!

More Posts

My last relationship was fueled by jealousy and blind rage; checking each other's phones and fighting about our findings, angry at social media interactions and flirty onlookers alike. It took me a while to realize that weren't in love, we were in possession of one another, totally and completely.

Keep reading... Show less

Do you believe achieving financial independence is out of reach for you? A recent Center For Financial Innovations study found that only 28% of Americans are financially healthy due to factors such as the generational prosperity gap, increased costs of living, and market instability.

Keep reading... Show less

I'm 26. And while that may seem young to you, watching my friends and family get married and have kids while I'm romantically stagnant with no suitable prospects makes a quarter of a century feel like a lifetime.

As my ovaries and my tolerance depreciate by the minute, it leaves me to wonder if I've been too picky in my dating life, or if I swiped left on Mr. Right a long time ago. Pressure bursts pipes, and sometimes the fear of my biological clock can trigger me to make some pretty irrational decisions. According to Sherri Shepherd, she knows the FOMO struggle and experienced it first-hand in her previous marriage.

Keep reading... Show less

In case you ever end up being a contestant on Jeopardy and there's a category that's devoted to nothing but honey, there are some things you should know. Honey has been hailed as being a sweet form of medicine and a powerful energy booster, ever since the beginning of time.

Keep reading... Show less

The OWN network has turned up the heat on Tuesday nights. And if you watched the premiere of the Will Packer produced series Ambitions, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Viewers were catapulted into this deliciously messy drama that follows the lives of five families who are all trying to navigate the waters of dominance, disloyalty, dishonesty, and most of all: debauchery. The cast is full of amazing actors who do more than a good job bringing their characters to life -- I'm talking Essence Atkins, Brian J. White, Kendrick Cross, Brely Evans and the lead lady of the pack: Robin Givens.

Keep reading... Show less

It's time to send that last email, turn on your OOO response, and set your sights on your next beach vacation. However, you can't jet-set off without the perfect suits for Insta-worthy snaps and bikinis that will turn heads (if that's what you're looking for) while you sip a piña colada on a white sandy beach.

Keep reading... Show less
Exclusive Interviews
Latest Posts