

Whenever I have clients who are engaged, something that I make sure to say to them, almost every session, is it's important to understand that oftentimes, what causes the end of a marital union isn't anything "big." Nah, it's more about the little irritants that, after a few years of them happening over and over again, start to drive one or both partners so completely up the wall that they would rather be alone than have to continue to endure what is basically the equivalent of listening to fingernails on the chalkboard.
And what does this have to do with the title of today's post? Well, a "chalkboard issue" can actually be a problem if you are a morning person while your partner is a night owl. It can affect sleeping patterns. It can affect pillow talk (i.e., quality time) moments. It can affect your sex life. So yeah, if you're contemplating sharing your bedroom, every day with someone, for years to come, definitely discuss who gets up at 5 a.m. and is thrilled about it vs. who can stay up until 2 a.m. with no problem at all.
Speaking of morning people, if you've ever wondered just what causes someone to be all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed before the sun even thinks about rising or if you're someone who would like to become more of a morning person, I thought you would find some of this intel interesting. Because, apparently, morning people don't "just happen." It goes so much deeper than that.
How to Find Your Chronotype. Revisited.
Okay, so before we get into what the personality traits of a morning person appear to be, let's first touch on what chronotypes are. If you're unfamiliar, what they basically boil down to is being the kind of things that cause our body to naturally want to fall asleep at certain times of the day. Chronotypes also help you to gain a better understanding of what causes you to be more alert at certain times of the day too.
As far as chronotypes go, they basically break down into four different categories that have the names of animals:
BEARS: They like to go to bed around 11 p.m., wake up at 7 a.m., and are most productive between 10 a.m.-2 p.m.
WOLVES: They like to go to bed around midnight, wake up at 7:30 a.m., and are most productive between 5 p.m.-12 a.m.
LIONS: They like to go to bed around 10 p.m., wake up at 6 a.m., and are most productive between 8 a.m.-12 p.m.
DOLPHINS: They like to go to bed around 11:30 p.m., wake up at 6:30 a.m., and are most productive between 3 p.m.-9 p.m.
In order to learn more about chronotypes and what they entail, the blog Casper has a great read on it here (also, if you want to take a quiz to find out what type you are, click here). The reason why it can be a good idea to get to know what your personal chronotype is is that it can give you greater insight into why your days naturally go the way that they do. It can also help you to better understand what kind of "tweaking" you would need to implement if you happen to want to be more productive during your early morning hours (even if it's just temporarily).
Okay, so now that you get why you may naturally or naturally not be a morning type of person, let's explore what the personality of a morning person is like.
What’s the Personality of a Morning Person Like?
Aight, so with that ah-ha moment (for some) being out of the way, what are the traits of a morning kind of individual? I mean, really — what is it about a person who can jump out of bed singing, having a burst of energy, and being so optimistic before the day even officially begins that roosters are even giving them a perpetual side-eye? Well, according to some research that I recently checked out, personality types definitely play a role in whether someone is a morning person or not and it would appear that some traits of a morning person include that they are more conscientious and self-disciplined while also being less direct, open-minded and thrill-seeking.
When I thought about this from the angle of some of the married clients that I work with, I can definitely cosign on this. One couple, in particular, that I've worked with before, the husband is an engineer and the wife is in the entertainment industry. He is definitely an early morning person while she is a night owl and when I think about how they approach life, he is so Type A (conscientious and self-disciplined) that it can almost be suffocating.
Meanwhile, for example, he's not even a good flyer (he's pretty close to being afraid to fly) while his wife travels for a living and doesn't give it much of a second thought (open-minded, thrill-seeking). If it wasn't for him being so over-the-top with his disciplined lifestyle (especially financially), I'm pretty sure she'd be close to flat broke; meanwhile, if it wasn't for her "hey, let's try it" outlook on life, he would be boring — and limited — as hell.
Bottom line, there is nothing wrong with being a morning person — or not being one. There are benefits and advantages to both. Now what I will say about morning people is it's a lot easier to get a lot more done when you're up in the wee hours of the day and knocking out a lot of what needs to be done. Not only that but a lot of the morning folks who I personally know tend to be less stressed because they oftentimes get so much done before noon. That's why, even if you're not a morning person, I am in full support of you at least considering getting up earlier, a couple of days a week, in order to make the most of your time. And just how do you do that?
6 Tips for Becoming More of a Morning Person
Again, there's nothing wrong with not being a morning person. Still, if there is a part of you that knows you would be better off being more conscientious and self-disciplined so that you can get more out of your own morning time, here are some ways to make that happen.
1. Get on a sleep schedule. How crazy is it that a lot of us think kids should be on a sleep schedule, but we shouldn't? Chile. Because the CDC even says that grown folks should get no less than seven hours of sleep every night so that you can be more alert and refreshed come sunrise, and because that is so much easier to do when you have your own nighttime routine, you definitely should put yourself on a sleep schedule. An article that can help you do that is "These Sleep Hacks Will Make Getting A Good Night's Rest So Much Easier."
2. Sleep earlier. Awaken earlier. Out of all of the hacks to help you become more of a morning person, this one might be my favorite because it's so easy to implement. Basically, if you want to wake up 30 minutes earlier, it's probably best to go to bed 30 minutes earlier as well. That way, the extra zzz's that you're missing on the back end, you can get on the front.
3. Nix the naps. I'm actually kinda laughing about recommending this because if there is someone who will take a nap in a heartbeat, it's Shellie Reneè Warren. However, I'm also someone who enjoys sleeping like it's Six Flags or something. That said, if you know that more than a cat nap (around 25 minutes or so) will make it hard for you to sleep at night and/or will have you groggy in the morning, it's probably best to go without naps altogether.
4. Watch what you eat and drink. Have mercy, Lawd. Why am I finally at that age where drinking something an hour before bed will get me up twice in the middle of the night, making it harder to go to sleep? Yeah, it really is common sense that if you don't want to wake up at night, you should drink no later than a couple of hours before turning in. Also, try and keep sugar (including carbs) and caffeine at bay. Instead, opt for foods that are high in magnesium (it helps your neurotransmitter GABA at a healthy level so that you can sleep more soundly) instead. Some of those include almonds, pumpkin seeds, yogurt, dark chocolate, and mineral water.
5. Have sex. I'm not sure what can make you sleep better and harder than having some (good) sex before turning in. From a scientific standpoint, orgasms have the ability to reduce your stress levels while also producing the hormones oxytocin and prolactin in your system. Both of these work together in order to mellow you out, put you in a good mood, and also make you feel safe and secure with your partner —and all of these are the foundation of a great night's rest. That's why sex before going to sleep can improve your quality of sleep. And morning sex can inspire you to set your alarm clock 30 minutes earlier so that you can get out of bed with a big smile on your face. Hell, who said it had to be either or? Why not both?
6. Give yourself something to look forward to every morning. Let me tell it, what I just said in the point above this should count as something to look forward to; however, if sex isn't on the docket (for whatever the reason), still try and give yourself a reason to want to wake up earlier — a favorite breakfast food, time to read a chapter of a book or listen to your favorite podcast, a few minutes to catch up with a friend…anything that can make raising your head off of your pillow, not the top thing on your list to do the following morning.
I know we kinda covered a lot of ground here — what are chronotypes of sleepers, what are the traits of morning people, and how to become more of a morning person yourself? Yet I hope that the greatest takeaway is 1) morning people are oftentimes born more than made; 2) their ability to be morning people resonates in more than their sleeping patterns (because I don't know about you but most of the morning people that I know are extremely self-disciplined) and 3) you can create ways to enjoy the morning more than you might think. It's all about choosing to not view the early hours as your "enemy" but as a way to make the most of your time — from sunrise to sunset. Literally.
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Originally published on November 11, 2021
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Speak These Affirmations Daily When You're Ready To Call More Into Your Life
As we reflect on the year and set intentions for what's ahead, now is a perfect time to anchor into gratitude with affirmations that nourish the mind and spirit. Gratitude itself activates the brain’s reward pathways, releasing dopamine and serotonin, and increasing your overall mood and feelings of happiness. Incorporating gratitude in your everyday life can do wonders for your soul and is a powerful tool for your mental and emotional well-being.
Some affirmations will resonate with you more than others, and that's the beauty of the practice. It's personal. A good gratitude affirmation can change your perspective, create space for yourself to feel better, and overall help you see the gifts in your life that you may have missed before. Prioritizing your inner peace means choosing words that feel aligned, affirming, and true. Let these gratitude affirmations help you realign with what matters most.
Read for your sun and moon sign below for your gratitude affirmations right now.
Aries
“With every breath I take, I am bringing more and more gratitude into my life.”
“I am grateful for the present moment.”
“I am creating a life that feels good and I am in charge of my happiness.”
Aries is straight to the point and needs a gratitude affirmation as such. When it comes to the perfect affirmation for an Aries Sun or Aries Moon, you want to look at what is going to make them feel empowered but also help ground this fiery sign. Aries are always on the go and need affirmations that are going to help balance their active energy.
Taurus
“I trust that what's meant for me is already mine.”
“I am eternally grateful for all of the blessings I have in my life.”
“I express deep appreciation for the small steps I achieve each day.”
Tauruses are masters of the chill mode, yet can get setbacks with their stubbornness to move. Taurus does well with an affirmation that inspires them and helps them feel passionate about their life. When it comes to gratitude, Tauruses have a lot to be grateful for however, it can be missed by the focus on what other things they want in their life. The perfect gratitude affirmation for Taurus helps them identify what truly matters in life.
Gemini
“I am safe and grateful for the present moment.”
“With a sense of gratitude, I see the world in a new light. Each day is an opportunity and a gift.”
“The more I show my gratitude, the more good things I receive to be thankful for.”
Gemini is a sign that is always on the go, fueling their curious soul. They are the social butterflies of the Zodiac and need an affirmation that can help ground all of their active energy. Geminis thrive when they have some sort of stability in their life as well as freedom, and they need time to reflect often on how things are going. Gratitude for Gemini comes through by having a good balance in all areas of their life.
Cancer
“I am grateful for the opportunities in my life, and the opportunities that are on the way to me right now.”
“I am grateful for the abundance and the love I effortlessly attract.”
“I am grateful for the presence of love and support in my life.”
Cancers are often thinking of the things they are grateful for, and typically have a good attitude towards this area of their life. They are emotional souls, ruled by the 4th house of stability and gratitude, and know the importance of a grateful heart. This water sign, however, can do well with more active and self-empowering energy and needs a gratitude affirmation that reminds them that they are also the gift in this world.
Leo
“I am grateful for the love that surrounds me. I am free to be my authentic self.”
“I am grateful to others for the kindness they show me. I am filled with praise and gratitude.”
“I am grateful for all the lessons I learned, and I'm ready to move forward now.”
Leos are ruled by the heart and are more emotional souls than many people realize. This fire sign is self-empowered but soft on the inside, and they need gratitude affirmations that will reach them in this heart space. The perfect affirmations for Leos are ones that align with their passion for life and also their passion for love, connection, and reciprocity.
Virgo
“I am grateful for my body, for all that I am, and for all that I have.”
“I am open to things working out for me. I am open to receiving abundance.
"I am open to connecting with my highest self.”
“Every day, I'm going to be more mindful of the small blessings I should be thankful for.”
Virgo is a sign that is grounded, practical, and intuitive. Yet, they are also a sign that can be in their head a lot, and tend to be prone to worrying. Virgos do well with gratitude affirmations that can bring them back to the gifts of the present moment, and that help them connect to their body more. This is a sign that needs an affirmation that can help balance their heart and their mind.
Libra
“I am grateful for everything I have been through because it has led me to where I am today.”
“I am so grateful for how loved I am and how much people care about me.”
“My family and friends support me, and I am grateful for their love.”
Libras are a more mental sign and they spend a lot of time in their headspace. The perfect gratitude affirmation allows them to see things from a bigger perspective and helps remind them of all they have to be grateful for. Being ruled by Venus, the planet of love, a good gratitude affirmation for them will also involve their relationships and the harmony they are always striving for here.
Scorpio
“I’m extremely grateful for my ability to be aware of the thoughts that serve me and the thoughts that do not serve me.”
“My heart is open and receptive to giving and receiving love. I am a magnet for positive, loving experiences.”
“I am grateful for the process, not just the destination.”
Scorpio is a sign that tends to see things in black and white. A great gratitude affirmation for Scorpio will help them find greater balance in their life, and also emotionally regulate. This is an emotional soul who benefits from learning more about their emotions and finding gratitude in all the experiences they move through, both good and bad.
Sagittarius
“I am happy and grateful for everything I have and receive daily.”
“I am grateful for my dreams and I know I have the power to manifest them.”
“I’m grateful for my strength and for my optimism in life.”
Sagittarius is the free-spirit, adventurous sign of the Zodiac. The perfect gratitude affirmation for this sign encompasses all that Sagittarius strives for, but also one that can help them feel safe within the present moment as well. Sagittarius is a futuristic thinker and needs a good gratitude affirmation that reminds them that the true gifts and possibilities are within the now rather than the later.
Capricorn
“I’m thankful for the smart choices that I make and I release all the pressure I put on myself.”
“Life gives me abundant blessings to be grateful for, and I know that I am worthy of them.”
“The more I pay attention to everything in life that is working in my favor, the happier I am and the better my life gets.”
Capricorns are ambitious and hard-working souls, but they are more prone to pessimism than most as well. The perfect gratitude affirmation for this earth sign, helps them believe in the seemingly impossible and helps them feel empowered in the things they are striving for. This sign tends to be successful in whatever they put their mind to, and they need a gratitude affirmation that is going to remind them of that and help them be proud of themselves and their accomplishments more.
Aquarius
“I am grateful for the community I live in.”
“I am grateful for who I am and what I know.”
“I am grateful for the inspiration in my life right now.”
Aquariuses are master manifesters and they know that the key to manifestation is gratitude. This sign can thrive more, however, when they are focused on the present moment rather than what they can create for the future. This is a fixed sign, after all, and they can get stuck in certain mental patterns and thinking that don’t serve them. When looking at gratitude affirmations, Aquarius needs something that is going to highlight the hope in their life.
Pisces
“I am grateful for my sense of gratitude. I know it is the way to joy, peace, and the life of my dreams.”
“All I have right now is this moment is enough. For that, I am grateful.”
“I am grateful for my heart, and my ability to love.”
Pisces is a dreamy soul that is often wandering through the fantasies of life. This optimism and mental expansion serve them well when it comes to manifesting their desires, but it can also be difficult for this sign to feel grounded in life. When it comes to gratitude, this energy comes from the present moment and your feet planted firmly in the ground. Pisces thrive with a gratitude affirmation that can help them feel more safe and secure in the present.
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Originally published on November 25, 2024