

I am not sure when I started to develop sleep issues. I didn't think I had ANY sleep issues, to begin with. I was always able to fall asleep with ease and achieve deep sleep. BTW, this is called Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep. It's the type of sleep that makes you not want to get out of bed. You never know how stress will show up in your body or life. And for me, it decided to show up in my sleep patterns. I would go to sleep with a million things on my mind. And – I used to have an unhealthy habit of suppressing the fuck out of emotions. I wouldn't allow myself to feel the uncomfortable ones. You know, the ones that make you cry, fumble your words, and shit. So, naturally, I would just go to bed with a heavy heart and a confused mind. I allowed this behavior to continue for nearly a year before I decided to do something about it.
I think I was scrolling through my Facebook feed when I stumbled across a Facebook ad for Gravity Blankets. I was curious, so, I clicked on the ad. It brought me to a website that designed and sold weighted blankets. In early 2017, Gravity Blankets was a new product funded through Kickstarter. The product received over $4.7 million in funding. I was interested. The blanket was designed to be 10 percent of your body weight and aimed to provide relief. It's commonly used in the medical field to help relieve stress, anxiety, and help autistic patients.
I never invested in good sleep before, so I decided to start.
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I placed my order. I was a little heavier at the time, so I ordered the 20-pound blanket. I spent a whole $249 on a blanket. I don't even spend that much on regular bedding, let alone anything else I own. It took a while for my blanket to be delivered. I came home one night after work and found a big box sitting outside my apartment door. I was excited to use it. When it was time for me to go to bed, I climbed into the right side of my bed. I have a thing about sleeping on the right side of the bed. I just have to. Anyway, I pulled the blanket over me and covered my body with it from head to toe.
And – that's when I fell in love with a weighted blanket. That night I fell asleep in a matter of minutes and with ease. It was like cuddling with your man, younger siblings, or falling asleep with a baby. I was relaxed and comfortable. I used my new favorite blanket every night. My sleep improved. I even used it while I was reading, working, and Netflix binge-watching.
But first, let me explain some of the science behind a weighted blanket, its benefits, and where you can buy yours.
What Is A Weighted Blanket?
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Did you know weighted blankets have been a long time tool in the mental health space? Weighted blankets were designed to relieve stress and create a sense of calm. This is done by providing pressure to the body. The blankets are filled with beads for added weight. The beads are either glass or plastic. How does it work you ask?
Well, weighted blankets emulate an occupational therapy technique called Deep Touch Pressure (DTP) or sensory integration therapy. It helps calm the arousal level in the nervous system by releasing serotonin and dopamine. These are the neurotransmitters that help people feel relaxed.
Benefits Of Sleeping With A Weighted Blanket
There is a plethora of benefits from sleeping with a weighted blanket. According to Gravity Blankets, weighted blankets can help with the following:
- Reduces stress, anxiety, and PTSD
- Manage sleep disorders
- Lessens panic attacks
- Alleviates Restless Leg Syndrome
- Deepen sleep and improves sleep quality
- Helps achieve a well-rested mind
- Promotes emotional well-being
I can attest to all of the above. I was diagnosed with anxiety, PTSD, depression, and panic attacks in late 2017. So, my weighted blanket helped me to stay calm and improve my sleep quality. In a weird way, I just felt safer sleeping with it every night.
Where You Can Buy Your Weighted Blanket
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A weighted blanket can cost you $50 to $250 depending on the brand, size, and weight. Forbes also created a list of "The 8 Best Weighted Blankets In 2020". You can also try Amazon and any other online retailer. In-store buys include Macy's, Bed Bath & Beyond, Kohl's, Costco, Sam's Club, Nordstrom, and Walmart.
For the past three years, I have slept with a weighted blanket. Now, I can't sleep without it. It's to the point where I feel naked or something is missing. My homegirl just purchased one and loved it. Then, she went and bought her daughter one too.
If you have trouble sleeping, I suggest you invest in one. I promise you, it's better than sleeping next to a warm body aka your significant other. You won't regret it queen. It's time we as women invest in better sleep.
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Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
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I Tried It: 3 Low-Maintenance Wigs That Will Elevate Your Look This Season
There's nothing like the feeling you get when your hair is done. It can instantly boost your confidence and put you in a great mood. I've never been a stranger to hair trends and I often experiment with the latest braided styles and colors.
But there are moments when I just don't feel like doing my hair. I'm natural and a lot of times I will braid or twist my hair up and cover it with a scarf or turban. However, when I crave a different look without the hassle of styling, I reach for a wig.
I've always had a love-hate relationship with wigs. Sometimes, I struggle to get them to lay flat and don't get me started with the bonding glue process. So when it comes to wearing wigs, I like to keep it nice and breezy around this b--- (word to Katt Williams), especially in the summertime.
That's why I jumped at the chance to try these three versatile wigs from Luvme Hair. Each one offers a unique look and is surprisingly low maintenance, which aligns perfectly with my philosophy that wearing wigs should make life easier. Let’s dive into the three styles below.
Headband Wig
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This was the first wig I tried on, and I instantly fell in love with it. So much so that it took me weeks to even consider trying the other two. I’m partial to colored hair, especially blonds, browns, and reds, so I was skeptical about the jet black hair. However, I think the color, combined with the curl pattern, worked surprisingly well for me.
One of the things I really liked about this wig was that I didn’t have to braid my hair down first. I could simply throw it over a low ponytail, which is the epitome of a low-maintenance style. The headband has combs inside and velcro on the ends, ensuring a secure fit.
Half Wig
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I had never worn a half wig before, so I faced some challenges. I cornrowed the bottom half of my hair where the wig would sit, but I believe this made it more difficult to use the combs. It might just be me though. I straightened the top part of my hair to blend it with the wig, which looked cute for about five minutes.
Firstly, I have a brown/blonde color mix on the ends of my hair, and the half wig is black. So, I had to hide some of the color (I didn’t have time to dye the wig). Secondly, straightening my hair myself is always a hassle because it never lasts long. Add to that the summer humidity, and you get a hot mess. Despite all this, I managed to get some cute pictures before things got out of control, and that’s all that matters, right?
Would I consider this a low-maintenance hair style? Yes and no. I think it’s unrealistic for me during the summer, especially since I enjoy summer activities. However, when the weather cools down, I’ll definitely rock it, dyed, of course.
Bob
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Now, this is the wig I was nervous about. I never had a bob and I didn't think I would like it. But once I put bobiana on, my mind instantly changed. I finally understood why the gworls rave about the bob so much. It was giving boss. It was giving grown woman. It was giving the bob means business. Iykyk. It was the ultimate statement.
I will say when I first put it on, one side of my wig just would not lay flat. It took some trial and error, but I finally managed to get it to look good. With the bob, I highly recommend braiding your hair down first as small as you can so it can lay as flat as possible. I really liked the ash blonde color, which is perfect for summer. The length also makes it a great low-maintenance style for the season, so you don't have to worry about the hair making your neck sweaty.
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