I am not sure when I started to develop sleep issues. I didn't think I had ANY sleep issues, to begin with. I was always able to fall asleep with ease and achieve deep sleep. BTW, this is called Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep. It's the type of sleep that makes you not want to get out of bed. You never know how stress will show up in your body or life. And for me, it decided to show up in my sleep patterns. I would go to sleep with a million things on my mind. And – I used to have an unhealthy habit of suppressing the fuck out of emotions. I wouldn't allow myself to feel the uncomfortable ones. You know, the ones that make you cry, fumble your words, and shit. So, naturally, I would just go to bed with a heavy heart and a confused mind. I allowed this behavior to continue for nearly a year before I decided to do something about it.
I think I was scrolling through my Facebook feed when I stumbled across a Facebook ad forGravity Blankets. I was curious, so, I clicked on the ad. It brought me to a website that designed and sold weighted blankets. In early 2017, Gravity Blankets was a new product funded through Kickstarter. The product received over $4.7 million in funding. I was interested. The blanket was designed to be 10 percent of your body weight and aimed to provide relief. It's commonly used in the medical field to help relieve stress, anxiety, and help autistic patients.
I never invested in good sleep before, so I decided to start.
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I placed my order. I was a little heavier at the time, so I ordered the 20-pound blanket. I spent a whole $249 on a blanket. I don't even spend that much on regular bedding, let alone anything else I own. It took a while for my blanket to be delivered. I came home one night after work and found a big box sitting outside my apartment door. I was excited to use it. When it was time for me to go to bed, I climbed into the right side of my bed. I have a thing about sleeping on the right side of the bed. I just have to. Anyway, I pulled the blanket over me and covered my body with it from head to toe.
And – that's when I fell in love with a weighted blanket. That night I fell asleep in a matter of minutes and with ease. It was like cuddling with your man, younger siblings, or falling asleep with a baby. I was relaxed and comfortable. I used my new favorite blanket every night. My sleep improved. I even used it while I was reading, working, and Netflix binge-watching.
But first, let me explain some of the science behind a weighted blanket, its benefits, and where you can buy yours.
What Is A Weighted Blanket?
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Did you know weighted blankets have been a long time tool in themental health space? Weighted blankets were designed to relieve stress and create a sense of calm. This is done by providing pressure to the body. The blankets are filled with beads for added weight. The beads are either glass or plastic. How does it work you ask?
Well, weighted blankets emulate an occupational therapy technique calledDeep Touch Pressure (DTP) or sensory integration therapy. It helps calm the arousal level in the nervous system by releasing serotonin and dopamine. These are the neurotransmitters that help people feel relaxed.
Benefits Of Sleeping With A Weighted Blanket
There is a plethora of benefits from sleeping with a weighted blanket. According toGravity Blankets, weighted blankets can help with the following:
- Reduces stress, anxiety, and PTSD
- Manage sleep disorders
- Lessens panic attacks
- Alleviates Restless Leg Syndrome
- Deepen sleep and improves sleep quality
- Helps achieve a well-rested mind
- Promotes emotional well-being
I can attest to all of the above. I was diagnosed with anxiety, PTSD, depression, and panic attacks in late 2017. So, my weighted blanket helped me to stay calm and improve my sleep quality. In a weird way, I just felt safer sleeping with it every night.
Where You Can Buy Your Weighted Blanket
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A weighted blanket can cost you $50 to $250 depending on the brand, size, and weight. Forbes also created a list of"The 8 Best Weighted Blankets In 2020". You can also tryAmazon and any other online retailer. In-store buys include Macy's, Bed Bath & Beyond, Kohl's, Costco, Sam's Club, Nordstrom, and Walmart.
For the past three years, I have slept with a weighted blanket. Now, I can't sleep without it. It's to the point where I feel naked or something is missing. My homegirl just purchased one and loved it. Then, she went and bought her daughter one too.
If you have trouble sleeping, I suggest you invest in one. I promise you, it's better than sleeping next to a warm body aka your significant other. You won't regret it queen. It's time we as women invest in better sleep.
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In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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Feature image by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images
