By show of hands, who here feels like they're slowly going nuts sitting in the house all day, everyday? You? You? I think I see a few hands in the back. I can confidently say that, at least, 80 percent of people I know are just about ready to lose their minds. At this point, we just want to go outside. I found myself looking outside of the window in my boyfriend's apartment for the fourth time today and constructing a fictional narrative for everyone on the block. I may have created a show better than Courtney Kemp's Power in my mind, but boredom strikes creativity. Actually, it's not boredom, it's angst. I'm envious that certain people in the world don't care enough about their own health to stay inside per the orders of the local police, the government and the president of the United States.
For those of us who are trying to take this quarantine thing "day-by-day" and staying our asses indoors, I've got just the thing for you. I spoke with entrepreneurs, mental health professionals and medical experts about combating anxiety and stress during COVID-19.
In a world where we're feeling out of control, what are some ways people can feel more in control?
Step Up Your Self-Care Game:
Kelley Green, International Yoga Instructor & Self-Love Enthusiast
"Journal your thoughts, speak to someone you trust like a therapist or life coach, calm your body's response to stress with breath-work, yoga, or meditation, and/or form new mental shifts that lead to you having a more positive outlook on life, like practicing gratitude."
Sit Close To The Window While You Work:
Yasmine Jameelah, CEO & Founder of Transparent Black Girl
"Studies show that decreased sun exposure has been associated with a drop in serotonin levels, which can lead to depression. When my face hits the sun as I work, it makes me feel like I'm still connected to the world. Also, create a bomb playlist to work to that soothes you - Solange, Amerie, Earth, Wind, & Fire, and Lucky Daye are in heavy rotation for me right now."
Log Off Or Turn Off The Information:
Joi Britt, Podcast Host, The Joi of Social Work
"It is important to be informed but there is something about too much information that can make you anxious or fearful of honestly something we cannot control. When we are thinking about the lack of control that we have, it is also important to remember there are things in life we still can control and that might not have changed as drastically."
Remember You Have Full Control Over Your Internal Space:
Erica James-Strayhorn, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Owner of Erica James Counseling, LLC
"You can remind yourself [that you have full control of your internal space] by reciting affirmations or mantras. This is also a great time to maybe redecorate or re-arrange furniture in your home. Also, maybe letting go of items that no longer serve you."
Focus On Getting Grounded & Centered:
Eliza Boquin, MA, LMFT, Co-Founder of Melanin & Mental Health, LLC
"It's easy to feel overwhelmed and out of control. This is the perfect time to focus on activities centered around regulating what is happening in your body. Start with moving your body--walk, a jog, dance. Moving your body is an excellent way to move emotions out of your body, boost your mood, and regulate your nervous system."
Writing Your Thoughts Down:
Jay Blessed, Podcaster, “IN MY HEAD” & Mental Health Advocate
"I started a #QuarantineWriting group on Instagram where I challenge my friends to 15 minutes of daily writing. Writing can be so cathartic during painful times but the therapeutic qualities of putting your thoughts down on paper or your phone's notepad are beyond valuable. This creative act has pushed me to address my emotions, to call it by name and to let them go."
Talk To Your Spirit/Higher Power:
Brianne Cash, Editor-in-Chief, Sad Girls Club + Sad Moms Club
"My meditations with Spirit have involved deeper, more intense conversation, fluid body movement and energy pulls; I listen with both my heart and ears open. We are all in an incubation period. We are all cocooning and as scary as times may seem right now, Spirit says not to worry-- a new world is on the way."
Continue Your Normal Routine:
Tiffany L. Mayers, MSW, LCSW, Mental Health Advocate & Clinician
"If you routinely work out at the gym, try working out at home or outside, if the weather permits. With anxiety, maintaining a sense of normalcy is very important. Loss of control can be a major trigger so you want to keep with a routine to help with reducing stress."
Stay In Gratitude:
Shevon Jones, MSW, Social Worker & Founder of the Mental Wellness Collective
"Gratitude interrupts anxiety. It allows for you to focus on all that you are grateful for and only that. So often we go through life aimlessly ignoring the things that feed us life and keep us going daily. In times of crisis it is important to focus on what you are grateful for. Each morning pick five things you are grateful for to set the tone for the day. And, every time you feel yourself getting anxious or overwhelmed, think back to what you are grateful for. It is hard to focus on negative thoughts and positive ones at the same time."
Get Organized:
Camryn Triplett, Mental Health Advocate & Communications Manager, Silence The Shame
"With so much uncertainty around us, find comfort in controlling the things around you. Now is the time to reorganize your bathroom, closet, kitchen, etc."
Gain Control Of Your Sex Life:
Tatyannah King, Sex Blogger, Sex Therapist in Training
"For sex, despite social distancing, couples can still focus on more sexting and phone sex. They can text their partner re-describing their favorite sexual experience together or do a creative challenge in which they go back and forth, daring each other to pose a certain way in their nudes without repeating any ideas."
Featured image by Yasmine Jameelah
Did you know that xoNecole has a podcast? Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to join us for weekly convos over cocktails (without the early morning hangover.)
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Franco Zulueta
"Nia Long Fine" is a thing for a reason.
The Brooklyn-born actress, best known for her roles in films such as Boyz n the Hood, Love Jones, and The Best Man, is a baddie on and off screen. She has also starred in several television series, including The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Third Watch, and Empire. Long has received critical acclaim for her performances and has been nominated for several awards, including an NAACP Image Award and a Screen Actors Guild Award. In addition to her acting career, Long is also a producer and director.
Yes, the resume is shimmering with Black Girl Magic and that’s many thanks to her acting chops and her undeniable beauty. For decades, Nia has been the standard, given her natural and charming aura.
Nia expressed gratitude for being called "ageless" but emphasized to PEOPLEmagazine that she doesn't strive for an unattainable ideal of perfection or a perpetually youthful look. “There’s so much pressure in this industry to stay beautiful and to stay young. And I’m really not interested in leaning into this idea of perfection,” she said.
While Hollywood often holds women to unrealistic beauty standards and limits their career opportunities as they age, men are often celebrated for their distinguished looks as they get older. Nia continues to restructure those double standards and embrace the natural aging process because she is the epitome of Black, not cracking.
"I am a proud 51, and eventually I’m going to age in a way where it’s obvious and I want it to happen beautifully and gracefully. I don’t really want the pressure of feeling like I have to be beautiful and perfect because I think beauty comes at any age…But I honestly think the real beauty comes from within."
Embrace Simplicity in Skincare
Nia believes in a "less is more" approach. She prioritizes keeping her skin hydrated and healthy rather than focusing on anti-aging. She told New Beauty that she swears by regular facials, exfoliation, and using moisturizing products like Yonka eye cream and almond oil on damp skin after showers. Microdermabrasion and oxygen treatments are also part of her skincare routine. These practices help keep her skin glowing and supple.
Stay Active with Yoga and Pilates
Fitness is essential for Nia, who stays in shape with yoga, Pilates, and jump rope exercises. She believes in maintaining a healthy weight to avoid common problem areas, especially for women of color. Consistency in movement helps her maintain her vibrant energy. In the New Beauty interview, Nia said, “I eat healthy, organic foods and keep the weight off with a lot of yoga, Pilates, and jump rope, which I try and do every day for the length of at least one song.”
Hydrate with Rosewater
To combat dryness under studio lights, she uses rosewater spray to refresh her skin and moisturizer to touch up cakey makeup areas. This keeps her face looking dewy and bright throughout long workdays. Nia explained in an interview with Glamour, "And what I've learned over the years is—Chantecaille has this amazing rosewater—and I spray the rosewater on my face, and then I dab a little bit of moisturizer in the areas where I see the foundation or powder is cakey. It just instantly brightens your skin. But the key is you can't wipe, you have to dab."
Listen to Your Inner Self and Ancestors
Nia emphasizes the importance of mindfulness and connecting with one’s inner voice and heritage. She credits her mental clarity and resilience to being attentive to ancestral guidance and focusing on a holistic sense of wellness. During the American Black Film Festival this summer, the actress shared a heartfelt story that made this all so real.
“When I was a young girl and my grandmother used to make me meditate, and she talked about therapy. This is in the very early ’70s when Black folks were like, ‘If you go to therapy, you’re crazy.’ She was very innovative in her thinking. And so her therapist’s name was Dr. Curtis. My therapist is Dr. Henry McCurtis. So as we’re talking, I go, what’s that black and white photo behind you? And he goes, ‘Oh, that’s my mentor. His name was Dr. Curtis.’”
She understood then that there was a purpose behind everything that was unfolding. “So listen and pay attention to those things, because angels are real. They’re real. Our ancestors are always pushing for our greatness. And so if you just settle into that listening and receiving, you’ll feel a sense of ease as you walk through this life, no matter how tough it gets.”
Celebrate Aging Gracefully
Nia rejects the pressure to remain "ageless" and instead embraces the beauty of aging naturally. She focuses on maintaining health and vibrancy rather than adhering to unrealistic beauty standards. This mindset allows her to enjoy her current phase of life with confidence.
A Natural Beat
The mommy mogul told Allure, “My look changes, but I do love the Nars lipstick pencils. I also love Laura Mercier's [Tinted Moisturizer]. [I use] a bronze powder by Nars called Punta Cana — that's my new favorite bronzer. Then, I usually top it all off with a Chanel gloss. I don't [get done up] so much unless someone else is doing my makeup. Then, I let them do whatever they want to do.”
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image via Nia Long/Instagram