Over the last few years, the practice of #selfcare has made its way into our cultural zeitgeist. From how we spend our free time to the circles of people we engage with, even down to how much work we decide to do (because, boundaries), there are few parts of our daily lives that haven’t been touched by how we aim to take care of ourselves.
But as much as I love long bubble baths and deep tissue massages, our self-care routine could use some revamping.
While the meaning of self-care has taken a new form in recent times, at its core, self-care refers to the practice of taking deliberate actions to maintain and improve one's physical, emotional, and mental well-being. It can be as small as getting a full night's rest at bedtime or as grand as attending a wellness retreat to reconnect with yourself.
In each case, self-care is all about engaging in activities that promote relaxation, reduce stress, and enhance your overall health.
We all know how draining life can get when we neglect our self-care, and burnout, anxiety, and stress get the best of us. But when we maintain a balanced life, especially in today's fast-paced and demanding world, we tend to feel better about how we approach our life and the habits that contribute to our overall wellness.
Lucky for us, self-care doesn’t always have to come down to how much we can spend on spa days and resorts in order to achieve a “soft life.” In fact, there are a number of mental, physical, and emotional ways that you can take care of yourself that will still cut down your stress levels, improve happiness, and give you the well-rounded life you deserve. And ahead of International Self-Care Day, we’ve provided fresh, new practices to get you started.
Give Yourself A Mini Social Media Break.
The Good Brigade/Getty Images
It’s no secret that we live on our phones, and sometimes the pressure to be online can cause a strain on our mental health without us even noticing. That’s why short social media breaks can be so worthwhile. While most social media breaks tend to come right at the peak of burnout, mini social media breaks are a great way to sprinkle app-less days into your week and give you a reprieve from the digital world. Trust us, your brain will thank you.
Add A Daily Walk To Your Schedule.
PeopleImages/Getty Images
The “hot girl walk” girlies weren’t lying when they said that daily walks were the key to sparking happiness in our lives — quite literally. The release of the “happy hormone,” endorphins, along with adrenaline, which is our body's “mood-lifting” chemical, will give the dopamine hit we get from Instagram likes a run for its money. So grab your headphones and walking shoes, and go take that stroll.
Extend More Love And Generosity.
Morsa Images/Getty Images
Somewhere along the lines of “self-care isn’t selfish” discourse, we’ve gotten more insular and individualistic with how we take care of ourselves. But with a whole loneliness crisis underway, finding time to connect with our friends and loved ones does, in fact, do the heart a lot of good. Community, sisterhood, and family time are essential to our mental health. Studies have found that when we participate in altruistic behavior, we get a boost of endorphins in the brain that sparks happiness in ourselves and those we’ve helped. Love is truly contagious.
Cry.
Mavocado/Getty Images
Have you had a good cry lately? If not, you might be overdue. Emotionally sensitive people may get a bad rap for wearing their heart on their sleeve, but along with getting a good cry in, they could be getting the last laugh too. Studies show that crying relieves stress, promotes closeness, deepens empathy, and makes us more open to our friends and loved ones. So take some time to talk to your favorite water sign, watch a deep-hitting romance movie, play a heartbreaking love song, or journal until the tears start flowing. Just release and let go.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by The Good Brigade/Getty Images
RELATED
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images
