I Tried Self-Touch Breathwork After Feeling Isolated During Quarantine
I never realized how much I'd yearn for human touch during the quarantine. I'm naturally introverted, and as a result, I'm either very affectionate or not at all. I have no middle ground, it may be the Aries in me, but it's either love me or back away - far away. Before COVID-19, I'd been working non-stop and tired of my daily commute, so I didn't have the emotional or physical bandwidth to assess how often I'd want to be touched, now I do.
Naturally, I've found myself missing little things, like conversations with baristas in the coffee shop before my workday began, and reading books on the train in the quiet car, but as the weeks turned into months, I missed things that I never thought were significant. Like bear hugs, and people pushing past you on the subway to perform even though you'd rather finish listening to the podcast you've been trying get through all morning or the playlist that you made that keeps you calm during the day. These revelations felt weird, beyond weird - until I realized that touch starvation was a real thing that needed to be examined and supplemented with self-touch.
The Benefits Of Touch
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According to Healthline, when you feel snowed under or pressured, the body releases the stress hormone cortisol. Touch can calm certain bodily functions, such as your heart rate and blood pressure by stimulating pressure receptors that transport signals to the vagus nerve. Additionally, in early life, touch is thought to be crucial for building healthy relationships by stimulating oxytocin pathways, the natural antidepressant serotonin, and the pleasure chemical dopamine.
In tandem with that, skin-to-skin contact is critical after a baby is born as it calms and relaxes both mommy and baby, regulates the baby's heart rate/breathing, and stimulates digestion.
For adults, touch combats loneliness, and even a gentle touch from a stranger has been shown to reduce feelings of social exclusion. In this day and age, the touch of friends, family, and partners have changed tremendously due to social distancing and spending hours on end staring at the four walls of my bedroom as I worked, I was starting to feel helpless. And while I've seen my family, I've spent 80% of quarantine eating, sleeping, watching television alone, and crying a lot more.
I've found myself sleeping on a couch that gives me back pain all night when my mother falls asleep or when my brother visits just so I can feel someone else's presence, even if it's just for a little while. And while those moments are comforting, they're far and few between, so a few weeks ago when a friend asked me how I was, I responded by saying, "I'm not OK, I feel alone and unsupported and I cry myself to sleep often."
Immediately, she sent me this breathwork practice for self-holding:
As I watched this video from afar while I showered in the dark with candles lit, I cried because for the first time in a while (beyond COVID-19), I felt touched intentionally - not sexually, but intentionally.
My head felt supported as I breathed, as if someone was holding me up as I cried. My core felt tightened as I breathed new life into myself. My spirit felt grounded as I reminded it, and myself that we weren't alone, and we never will be because we'll always be together.
A year from now, prayerfully quarantine will be a thing of the past, and I'll freely be able to receive touch from the people around me. This time has challenged me to examine the cries heard and unheard; of babies who don't want to sleep alone either, of friends who have been crying silent tears of depression and anxiety for years, and of myself, who works so much that I'd forgotten how necessary touch was to me, and for me.
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Dubbed one of the "21 Black Women Wellness Influencers You Should Follow" by Black + Well, Yasmine Jameelah continues to leave her digital footprint across platforms ranging from Forever 21 Plus, Vaseline, and R29 Unbothered discussing all things healing and body positivity. As a journalist, her writing can be found on sites such as Blavity, Blacklove.com, and xoNecole. Jameelah is also known for her work shattering unconventional stigmas surrounding wellness through her various mediums, including her company Transparent Black Girl. Find Yasmine @YasmineJameelah across all platforms.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Keith Powers On His Grooming Routine & Expressing Himself Through His Hair
Keith Powers is taking his crown back — that being his hair.
From a young age, the 30-year-old actor recalls having little say on how his hair was presented. As many of his friends and cousins had the liberty to experiment with hairstyles like cornrows, plaits, and fros, Powers’ parents opted for an easier look: a no-fuss, bald fade. “Man, I just want to grow my hair out,” he tells xoNecole. “When I was young, and I was like, 'Yo, when I get older, I'm doing whatever I want to my hair.'”
In time, Powers’ desire to test the limits of his hair’s potential grew from an act of intentional rebellion to a symbol of pride in his culture and textured hair. From his signature fade to red-carpet-ready tapered cut topped with curls, the New Edition Story star is no stranger to experimentation and switching his styles up. “That's why I do so many things like dye my hair," he shares. “It's just having pride in my hair, my look, and how I want to style it because my hair is a representation of how I feel in the moment.”
As one of Hollywood’s most talented stars, Power understands the influence of Black culture when setting trends and moving the needle within the industry.
A recent shift within the men’s grooming space has made room for an increasing focus on personal style and the creative pioneering in men’s hairstyling. With this in mind, Powers is using his platform to support and celebrate the new wave of Black men’s hair expression, in every way they choose to wear it. “I’m learning that there’s really no limitation on what I want to do with my hair,” he says. “Whatever I'm expressing with my hairstyle doesn't define who I am as a person.”
KISS Colors & Care and Keith Powers have joined forces in a new partnership that highlights the brand's signature collection designed specifically for curly and coily hair textures. Their custom line of products and accessories range from the Twist Curl Gel, and Twist King, to a curated selection of brushes, picks, durags, and sponges to help men nourish and protect their hair while also expressing the versatility and diversity of textured hairstyles.
Powers spoke to xoNecole about his hair grooming routine, how his hair allows him to express his personal style, and what he hopes to impart to his future children about loving and embracing their natural hair.
xoNecole: One thing that’s clear about your personal haircare/style over the years is that you’re not afraid to play around with classic haircuts like a fade, the tapered high top you have now. How has your exploration through these hairstyles influenced your overall sense of identity and self-expression?
Keith Powers: Growing up, I felt like my hair wasn’t presentable until it was cut all the way off. That’s kind of how my family would make it sound. Maybe there's a little baby trauma, but my parents were young, and they were learning. Now, I know I can express myself through my hair, and I don’t have to feel like my hair isn't professional in this setting because no matter what hairstyle you have, you can make it professional. I'm expressing myself now, and I know that doesn't define who I am like in the workplace or professionally.
xoN: Talk to us a little bit about your personal grooming routine. What are some of the products or brands that you reach for when it comes to your personal care?
KP: That's what I'm still trying to figure out. I always grew up not really having much hair on my head, but the Kiss Twist Gel Hair Gel has really been helpful with holding my hair together after hitting it with the curling sponge.
I really like to condition my hair as much as I can throughout the week. I try to do a treatment, like a treatment, and then I condition it. I switch so many conditioners — I just know I need to condition my hair because my scalp gets really dry. But I think I'm still really learning how to take care of my hair and that's with asking my friends for advice on different products to keep my hair moisturized. I think that's the hardest thing for me. I really feel like my hair dries out really fast. So it's a constant battle every day, but this is a fun one.
xoN: You’ve spoken openly about the significant role your father has played in your life and your desires of being a father and husband yourself one day. What would you teach your future children about self-care and self-expression?
KP: I think about that a lot. Kids really like to imitate what they see, so as a parent, you gotta find that balance of, okay, I want them to express themselves, but I have to do what's convenient for me and my kid when we’re getting ready in the morning.
I would love it if my future daughter wanted locs, but at the same time, she might want to switch things up and want to try different things. I just want my future kids to know that their hair, whatever texture it is, is beautiful and that they can express themselves how they want.
xoN: What advice would you give to others looking to experiment more with their hair and personal style?
KP: Just like Coach Prime says, ‘When you look good, you play good, and they pay.’ So it's really just about how you feel. I get inspired by watching films and animation, too. If I'm watching an animation, I'm like, ‘Yo, this hairstyle is fire, I could see myself doing something close to that.’ Sometimes, my hair makes me feel like a superhero. When I dye my hair, I really feel like a character out of a movie; it inspires and motivates what I wear, too. However you’re feeling, do it.
As you're looking for your look, or if you already have your look, just try different things. It’s fun and dope to see people, especially our people, express themselves with their hair because we can do so much with our hair, why minimize?
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Featured image by Ivan Apfel/Getty Images