We Need To Talk About The Dismissal Of Black Women On Reality TV Dating Shows
Ask me what are some of my favorite reality TV shows and I will immediately tell you TheReal Housewives of Atlanta and TheReal Housewives of Potomac (and honorable mention TheReal Housewives of Beverly Hills), however, I’ve been expanding my horizons a little bit and recently began engulfing myself in dating reality competition shows.
It might be the lover in me but I enjoy seeing people meet and fall in love. However, if you watch enough of those shows, you know it’s more than just falling in love. The contestants are typically competing for money; when love, money, and competition mix, there is always some drama. And I live for every second of it.
However, as a Black woman who watches these shows, it is hard to ignore some of the glaring treatment that many Black women deal with. Black Twitter has also been on fire about this topic thanks to Netflix’s latest reality TV dating show Perfect Match. The show features a cast made up of reality TV stars from the streaming giant’s other shows such asLove Is Blind andSelling Tampa.
The contestants live in a villa and they participate in competitions for a chance to have control over what new contestants they can bring in and set up on blind dates with those already living in the house. At the end of the night, contestants have to pair up and the one’s left without a partner have to leave the villa.
\u201cWhat #perfectmatch did to all the Black women\u2026..and making them pick from scraps and being \u201cBlack queen\u201ded downnnn but nobody seeing them as valuable partners\u2026.they will pay. Best believe they will pay and I\u2019ll see to it \u270d\ud83c\udffd\u201d— Tyler (@Tyler) 1677205034
*Spoilers ahead*
On the first night, Selling Tampa star Anne-Sophie Petit-Frere, who was the only Black woman on the show at that point, shared her lack of enthusiasm for matching with Zay Wilson (The Ultimatum), a Black man, because they were the only two people left without a match.
After new contestants showed up later on, she decided to take a chance on Too Hot to Handle star Chase DeMoor, a Black man, and match with him. But that didn’t last long. If you watched Chase’s season on Too Hot to Handle, then you may know that the women he paired with were of the non-melanin kind, and he decided to send Anne packing.
Her Selling Tampa co-star had even worse luck. Colony Reeves came in a few episodes later after Anne’s departure and she was set up on a blind date with Dom Gabriel, a Black man whose claim to fame is The Mole. Dom became a target of Black Twitter after he was in tears over Too Hot to Handle star Francesca Farago dumping him (chile) but he later matched with Georgia.
On his blind date with Colony, he immediately told her that he was not interested and kept raving over her being “strong.” Once they both entered the villa, he introduced her to other men as a “strong Black woman” (cringe). She, along with Izzy Fairthorne, went home that same night.
@colonyreeves @annesophiepf #perfectmatch #perfectmatchnetflix #fyp #foryoupage #sellingtampa #sellingtampanetflix #dating #relationships #sellingtampacolony #netflix #annesophieandcolony
Colony recently responded to Dom in a TikTok video alongside Anne. The caption read “Do you identify as a strong black woman?” with the “no” sound repeating in the background of the video. However, Dom’s contestants later sent him on another date with another Black woman, Diamond Jack from Love Is Blind season one and again he lets her know he’s not interested.
However, going into episode 9, it seemed like Diamond had some potential suitors as she was matched with The Mole reality star Will Richardson and had a promising blind date with Love Is Blind season 3 star Bartise Bowden. However, that night she caught Bartise locking lips with Abby Humphreys and Will confessed that he had his eyes for Francesca. Diamond ultimately made the decision to leave and strutted out of the house. And then there were no Black women left (but two Black men remained).
Perfect Match became yet another example in a long line of reality dating shows that show Black women getting the short end of the stick. Time and time again, women of other races and ethnicities seem to get picked over Black women and it is hard to watch. But I must admit, there have been some success stories.
\u201cI don\u2019t like how LIB be cutting all the black women. How come they are always in the trailer but not the show\u2026 \ud83d\udc40\u201d— Lauren Speed (@Lauren Speed) 1666653090
When the contestants who left the house came back for a last shot at love, Bartise and Izzy decided to give their relationship another chance and they made it to the end of the show. Outside of Perfect Match, there’s Dami Hope and Indiyah Polack, a Black couple from ITV2’s Love Island season 8, and Lauren Speed-Hamilton, a Black woman who found love with Cameron Hamilton, a white man in the first season of Love Is Blind. While Lauren found love on her show, it didn’t stop her from speaking out in a series of tweets in Oct. 2022 about Black women having “slim pickings” on Love Is Blind season 3.
“I know it’s slim pickings but about 85% of them couples be forced (just moving forward for entertainment purposes) anyway. Y’all could at least force some more sisters to move forward throughout the show,” she tweeted.
Hopefully, more contestants will speak out about the dismissal of Black women on these shows and fans continue to use their voices on social media as a way to spark change.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image from "Perfect Match"/ Netflix
London Alexaundria is the contributing editor for xoNecole. She is an alum of Clark Atlanta University, where she majored in Mass Media Arts and has worked in journalism for over ten years. You can follow her on Instagram and TikTok @theselfcarewriter
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
6 Spring Events To Boost Your Professional And Social Networks
When spring arrives, we all want to be outside, looking fabulous, and back to socializing. And now is the perfect time to add a few great events to your calendar to get you through the quarter in order to make new friends, build new partnerships, and talk new opportunities to level up.
Spring is a high season for networking and social events for Black women, with many organizations and event entrepreneurs booking prime locations and offering dynamic experiences that you can maximize in whatever way possible. Write down your goals, and get out there. Start with a few of these events between now and the start of summer:
New Orleans Jazz And Heritage Festival, April 23 - May 3
The New Orleans Jazz And Heritage Festival is a 10-day event held over two weekends, bringing together thousands of musicians, craftspeople, and food lovers to share in common threads of culture in the heart of New Orleans. You'll get to enjoy works by artisans local to Louisiana as well as from across the U.S. and around the world.
Black Food Truck Festival, April 26-28
Hosted in Charleston, S.C., the Black Food Truck Festival includes an opening party, access to more than two dozen food truck vendors, and a time to workout with other attendees. Charleston has long been known as a Southern foodie destination, with global recognition due to James Beard-awarded chefs heading popular restaurants there and a renewed focus on Gullah and Geechee culture and food in the region. And what better conversation ice-breaker than to talk about food with a new acquaintance?
Black Women's Mental Health Conference, May 4
Hosted by New York University, this is a one-day event to tackle issues of mental wellness and health that uniquely affect Black women and girls. The keynote speaker for this year is Kim Young, MSW, LCSW, founder of Dope Black Social Worker® and host of the podcast Revolutionary Hoodrat, and leading licensed professionals in the field will offer their insights and share their experiences. And, of course, no college-led event is without time blocked specifically for networking.
Strength of a Woman Festival, May 11-12
Anything with Mary J. Blige headlining or leading is a win, especially if we're talking about women's empowerment and enjoyment. This event will be held in New York City, and beyond the performances from some of our favorites like Muni Long, Jill Scott, and The Clark Sisters, there will be a Gospel Brunch. And even if you're not able to attend or concerts aren't your thing, just being in the city during that time will mean you're bound to run into plenty of other women to network with at local bars and restaurants nearby.
Carefree Black Girl Cookout, May 4
Held in the Queen City, Charlotte, N.C., this is a day festival amplifying the voices and brands of Black women entrepreneurs, artists, and creatives. There will be vendors, glam and beauty bars, and complimentary meals for the first hour (according to the platform's website). They're hosting another cookout in Philadelphia on May 25.
Black Women Leading Live, May 13-16
Touted as an “intimate retreat + conference,” this Virginia Beach, VA event will be held on a resort and is offering a professional development experience led by Laura Knights, founder of the Black Woman Leading® program and podcast. It’s an ideal fit if you’re a mid-level or senior professional, as the topics and approach are set to cater to those levels of career experience, with coaches and speakers pouring into attendees with a holistic approach.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by PIKSEL/Getty Images