We Need To Talk About The Dismissal Of Black Women On Reality TV Dating Shows
Ask me what are some of my favorite reality TV shows and I will immediately tell you TheReal Housewives of Atlanta and TheReal Housewives of Potomac (and honorable mention TheReal Housewives of Beverly Hills), however, I’ve been expanding my horizons a little bit and recently began engulfing myself in dating reality competition shows.
It might be the lover in me but I enjoy seeing people meet and fall in love. However, if you watch enough of those shows, you know it’s more than just falling in love. The contestants are typically competing for money; when love, money, and competition mix, there is always some drama. And I live for every second of it.
However, as a Black woman who watches these shows, it is hard to ignore some of the glaring treatment that many Black women deal with. Black Twitter has also been on fire about this topic thanks to Netflix’s latest reality TV dating show Perfect Match. The show features a cast made up of reality TV stars from the streaming giant’s other shows such asLove Is Blind andSelling Tampa.
The contestants live in a villa and they participate in competitions for a chance to have control over what new contestants they can bring in and set up on blind dates with those already living in the house. At the end of the night, contestants have to pair up and the one’s left without a partner have to leave the villa.
\u201cWhat #perfectmatch did to all the Black women\u2026..and making them pick from scraps and being \u201cBlack queen\u201ded downnnn but nobody seeing them as valuable partners\u2026.they will pay. Best believe they will pay and I\u2019ll see to it \u270d\ud83c\udffd\u201d— Tyler (@Tyler) 1677205034
*Spoilers ahead*
On the first night, Selling Tampa star Anne-Sophie Petit-Frere, who was the only Black woman on the show at that point, shared her lack of enthusiasm for matching with Zay Wilson (The Ultimatum), a Black man, because they were the only two people left without a match.
After new contestants showed up later on, she decided to take a chance on Too Hot to Handle star Chase DeMoor, a Black man, and match with him. But that didn’t last long. If you watched Chase’s season on Too Hot to Handle, then you may know that the women he paired with were of the non-melanin kind, and he decided to send Anne packing.
Her Selling Tampa co-star had even worse luck. Colony Reeves came in a few episodes later after Anne’s departure and she was set up on a blind date with Dom Gabriel, a Black man whose claim to fame is The Mole. Dom became a target of Black Twitter after he was in tears over Too Hot to Handle star Francesca Farago dumping him (chile) but he later matched with Georgia.
On his blind date with Colony, he immediately told her that he was not interested and kept raving over her being “strong.” Once they both entered the villa, he introduced her to other men as a “strong Black woman” (cringe). She, along with Izzy Fairthorne, went home that same night.
@colonyreeves @annesophiepf #perfectmatch #perfectmatchnetflix #fyp #foryoupage #sellingtampa #sellingtampanetflix #dating #relationships #sellingtampacolony #netflix #annesophieandcolony
Colony recently responded to Dom in a TikTok video alongside Anne. The caption read “Do you identify as a strong black woman?” with the “no” sound repeating in the background of the video. However, Dom’s contestants later sent him on another date with another Black woman, Diamond Jack from Love Is Blind season one and again he lets her know he’s not interested.
However, going into episode 9, it seemed like Diamond had some potential suitors as she was matched with The Mole reality star Will Richardson and had a promising blind date with Love Is Blind season 3 star Bartise Bowden. However, that night she caught Bartise locking lips with Abby Humphreys and Will confessed that he had his eyes for Francesca. Diamond ultimately made the decision to leave and strutted out of the house. And then there were no Black women left (but two Black men remained).
Perfect Match became yet another example in a long line of reality dating shows that show Black women getting the short end of the stick. Time and time again, women of other races and ethnicities seem to get picked over Black women and it is hard to watch. But I must admit, there have been some success stories.
\u201cI don\u2019t like how LIB be cutting all the black women. How come they are always in the trailer but not the show\u2026 \ud83d\udc40\u201d— Lauren Speed (@Lauren Speed) 1666653090
When the contestants who left the house came back for a last shot at love, Bartise and Izzy decided to give their relationship another chance and they made it to the end of the show. Outside of Perfect Match, there’s Dami Hope and Indiyah Polack, a Black couple from ITV2’s Love Island season 8, and Lauren Speed-Hamilton, a Black woman who found love with Cameron Hamilton, a white man in the first season of Love Is Blind. While Lauren found love on her show, it didn’t stop her from speaking out in a series of tweets in Oct. 2022 about Black women having “slim pickings” on Love Is Blind season 3.
“I know it’s slim pickings but about 85% of them couples be forced (just moving forward for entertainment purposes) anyway. Y’all could at least force some more sisters to move forward throughout the show,” she tweeted.
Hopefully, more contestants will speak out about the dismissal of Black women on these shows and fans continue to use their voices on social media as a way to spark change.
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Feature image from "Perfect Match"/ Netflix
London Alexaundria is the contributing editor for xoNecole. She is an alum of Clark Atlanta University, where she majored in Mass Media Arts and has worked in journalism for over ten years. You can follow her on Instagram and TikTok @theselfcarewriter
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
There are moments on our health journey when our bodies are bugging us to hit the reset button.
With life, we can start to see slips in our diet, irregular exercising, and inconsistent sleep schedules, and our mental health can suffer because of it. But what many people come to find is that with just a few adjustments — as opposed to restrictions — being made to their food intake, we can see a focus more on eating “the right” calories and less on being on a restrictive diet.
"Raw Till 4" is a dietary concept and lifestyle associated with the raw vegan and high-carb, low-fat vegan (HCLF) movements. Created by Australian blogger and YouTube star known as 'Freelee the Banana Girl', the method suggests eating raw, uncooked plant-based foods until 4 p.m. each day and then having a cooked, vegan meal in the evening.
The Raw Till 4 lifestyle follows the guidelines of vegan and rawist eating and involves consuming fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, and sprouted grains in an uncooked, natural state until the designated time of 4 p.m. or around one’s typical dinner time. After 4 p.m., a cooked vegan meal is consumed, which may include foods like steamed vegetables, grains, legumes, and plant-based sources of protein like tofu or tempeh.
On TikTok, creator Adina Yaffa is repopularizing the trend, sharing how it’s helped to improve digestion, boost energy levels, and support weight loss.
@adinayaffa Replying to @🌜kat🌛 here is what I eat in a day on a raw till 4 lifestyle. I eat with the sun and according to the circadian rhythm that out bodies follow on a typical day. Where i drink liquids during the first 8 hours, then juicy fruits, then smoothies, more dense building fats, proteins and veggies! #snatchedwaist #bellyfat #bellybloat #smallwaist #hourglass #rawtill4
“During the hours of 4 a.m. and 8 a.m., your body is in an elimination phase and needs all the help it can get,” Yaffa says in the clip. “So what you’re going to do is drink coconut water, citrus juices, and green juices during this time, and around 8 a.m., you can break your fast with some fruit. I suggest juicing fruits, and then after that, I suggest having a smoothie or a bowl with berries and granola so you can get your fats and healthy proteins in.”
@adinayaffa Raw till 4 has so many benefits including better digestion, nutrients, belly fat and bloat elimination, snatched waist, more energy and so much more! #snatchedwaist #bellyfat #bellybloat #smallwaist #hourglass
On the official Raw Till 4 website, Freelee the Banana Girl shares tips on how to get the best outcomes of this lifestyle change, which include:
- “Stay hydrated! You should pee about 8-12 times per day, and your urine should be clear. Drink 1 liter of water when you wake up in the morning, and 1 liter of water about 30 minutes before each meal for optimal results.”
- “Fragmented sodium (salt) should be kept to a minimum. Use herbs, lemon juice, etc. wherever possible in place of salt.”
- “Eat unlimited calories at every meal, no restriction. The majority of your calories each day should come from fruit. Don’t under-eat on fruit during the day or 'save up' your calories for dinner time. RT4 is about abundance at every meal.”
- “Move your body daily. Find an activity you love and make it your playful exercise.”
- “Make sure to get lots of rest, relaxation, and good sleep. Learning to incorporate good rest, early nights, and regular sleeping patterns into your life will greatly improve your overall health.”
- “Practice gratitude and peaceful emotions at mealtime, and get a vision book started! Be sure to enjoy this journey. Focus on long-term health instead of short-term results.”
Critics argue that it can be challenging to get all the necessary nutrients from a raw vegan diet and that it may not be suitable for everyone, especially over the long term.
As with any diet, it's important to consult with a healthcare professional or registered dietitian before making significant dietary changes to ensure that it meets your individual nutritional needs and health goals.
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Featured image by FreshSplash/Getty Images
