The only thing constant in life is change and if these past couple of years have shown us nothing else, it’s that life be life-ing. Amid the pandemic, we saw (and continue to see) a lot of change in the way we lead our lives. It shifted the way we work, the way we approached our health and lifestyles, and the way we dated. This year is shaping up to display change in a different way, as many of us enter a season of a new normal and adapt to dating trends that better mirror who and how we are today. The weather is heating up and so is the potential for romance, as once again, we are shedding our homebody ways and radiating big “we outside” energy.
Dating trends in 2022 are less about the virtual dates and video call introductions of 2020 and more about mindful and exploratory dating. If you find yourself wanting to test the dating waters this summer, here are the trends Bumble predicts are on the rise for 2022. And as the old saying goes, stay ready so you don’t have to get ready.
Being single is a vibe.
Since the pandemic, mindfulness has been a buzzword that is constantly at the forefront in many facets of our lives. All it means is a focused awareness of the present moment. And if you ask me, it’s a welcomed addition to how single people choose to date. ‘Choose’ is the operative word here. Social isolation has reportedly brought about a rebirth of enjoying one’s solitude. This in turn makes 53% of Bumble respondents cite that they were okay with being single, while 54% of single daters want to be mindful about when and how they date.
Mindful dating allows for daters to be one with themselves while also being present with potential dates. Instead of fighting their relationship status, this person is grounded and centered in their journey to love and the growth that comes with it. Mindful dating can look like communication that is open and honest, self-honesty, understanding your emotions, and ensuring your actions are in alignment with that.
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Open-mindness is reaching new heights.
“Exploratory” is the dating approach that 43% of Bumble respondents listed as their focus in 2022. Furthermore, open-mindedness is becoming more of a focus in the way we date. As time passes, people grow and so do their tastes. Daters are reportedly less likely to stick to a specific “type,” and are expanding their horizons to accommodate people and experiences that pull them outside of their comfort zones and speak more to the person they are now. More openness is also being placed on the types of relationships we are in as well, as single daters are more exploratory of different relationship dynamics and styles.
When it comes to attracting love and people, single folks are practicing flexibility, and adaptability, and are reserving judgment to widen the pool and experiment with aspects in a partner and a partnership that they otherwise might not have considered.
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Dry dating is a thing.
The customary “let’s meet for drinks” is increasingly becoming a thing of the past. The stress, uncertainty, heightened awareness around mortality, and grief surrounding the height of the pandemic led to many people gravitating toward drinking more alcohol. Dry dating and sober-curious dating have started to see an uptick in popularity as 25% of people in the U.S. say that they are drinking less than they were pre-pandemic.
And what is sober-curious dating? It's just as its name alludes: a curiosity of dabbling in sobriety by decreasing your alcohol consumption. The intent isn’t necessarily to quit drinking completely, but it is about making more choices in dating that aren’t alcohol-centric. Some ways you can engage in dry dating or sober curious dating include going to the movies, the bowling alley, visiting a museum, meeting up for coffee, or even a non-alcoholic drink (mocktails are all the rage these days).
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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