This Couple's Love Story Is A Testament To The Magic Of Divine Timing
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
When Colby Holiday, 37, met Khaliah O. Guillory, 42, neither of them knew the start of a life together was staring them in the face. What brought the couple together was a chance encounter during a press trip in Houston where travel writer and content creator Colby was on assignment. The story was about Black-owned Houston and since Khaliah is the proud founder and CEO of the Black-owned sanctuary Nap Bar, it made sense that the PR team had them cross paths. A Friday night meeting would prove to be much more than the typical exchange between a journalist and her subject. Instead of the small talk that often presents itself in an initial professional-ish one-on-one, their conversations went beyond the norm and landed into deeper territory.
Colby found herself drawn to Khaliah's energy and Khaliah was drawn to not just Colby's beauty but also her intellect as they spoke about spirituality among other things. But still, they left each other with Colby thinking they'd stay in contact and Khaliah knowing they were bound for something more. Before meeting Colby, Khaliah had entered a year-long dating sabbatical to allow herself time to heal and eventually attract love from a place of wholeness. On her 41st birthday, she wrote a 'divine list' of what she wanted in her partner. For her, Colby was the embodiment of that list. After meeting, she showed her intentions in wanting to build a life with Colby in every step of getting to know her through energy and effort. Leading up to their first official date, there were handwritten letters, curated playlists, infinite voice notes, and FaceTime calls that would plant the love seeds for what they both endearingly refer to as "the best date ever."
Colby would learn early on in their relationship that Khaliah was the one. Unlike anyone she had ever been with, Khaliah prayed over her and it was an action that put her above anyone else in Colby's heart, mind, and soul. Khaliah knew Colby, whom she affectionately calls "Colbs," was the one a month after they met, to the date. Since then, this couple has embarked on a love story all their own that has been a whirlwind of ease and adventure in the year that they have been together. Despite living in different countries (Colby lives in Merida, Mexico and Khaliah lives in Houston, Texas), the couple who are madly in love make their relationship work.
In this installment of How We Met, Colby and Khaliah talk about the love lessons they've learned, courtship, healing, and the importance of timing.
How They Met
Colby Holiday: We met while I was on a press trip with Visit Houston by way of Turner PR. I was covering a story on Black-owned Houston and the PR rep set Kay (Khaliah) and me up on a meet and greet since she is the owner of Nap Bar -- a Black-owned rest sanctuary in Houston.
Khaliah O. Guillory: Colbs and I met in Houston, TX at Trez Bistro & Wine Bar! My peeps over at Visit Houston reached out (kind of last-minute) and mentioned they commissioned a journalist to write an article on Black-owned businesses and was wondering if I would be open to meeting her for drinks. Keep in mind this was around the time of George Floyd’s murder and the Black Lives Matter movement, so my energy wasn’t necessarily in the mood for such heavy, layered conversation I’ve had on repeat…until I saw her profile picture. Oh yeah! My French Fry is a BADDIE!
The night Khaliah and Colby met.
Courtesy of Colby Holiday
First Impressions
Colby: “Her energy is everything!” were my first thoughts. I always say I met her energy before I met her. She was just this big ball of energy in the best way. Within minutes of meeting, we were talking about manifestations and synchronicities. Her vibe was all around dope. I felt like we’d be friends beyond Houston, or at minimum keep in contact here and there, but never did I ever think we’d end up here!
Khaliah: My first impression after stalking [and] carefully researching her online… What? I had to make sure it was worth it to hang out with a “journalist” on a Friday night (laughs). Okay, so back to doing my research online. I ran across Colby’s blog and immediately fell in love with her tone, style, and flow of writing. Her writing technique has a way of creating a visual story in your head as she carefully uses adjectives that give you a vivid visualization of what she is describing. I was mentally stimulated from there.
"I knew it was love when she held my hand through my most vulnerable moments and loved me anyway. Not even that she loved me through those moments, but she created a safe space to allow that vulnerability, to begin with."
Courtesy of Colby Holiday
First Date
Colby: It was the most magical date ever! Our first official date was a surprise date planned by Kay. On day 32, she booked me a flight from Atlanta. I was going to spend nine days with her in Houston. I was so nervous because I’d only spent a few hours with her the first time I was in Houston. We see each other every day several times a day via Facetime, but now we’ll be in the flesh. Would that connection be the same? Just as powerful? Just as magical? The answer was yes.
The evening started with her meeting me at baggage claim. We hugged deep. Time stood still. Silence surrounded us. It was just me and her, lost in our own world. She whisked me to the parking lot where a car with a red carpet and rose petals and a driver awaited. He drove us to, what I assumed was her apartment building. We headed to the eighth floor, to a large room, where we were met with a candlelit walkway with rose petals. We walked in and there was a guy singing and playing the guitar to one of my favorite songs!
There was also a videographer/photographer to capture every moment. I was absolutely speechless! This would be the theme as the evening unfolded — me being speechless. From the menu to the wine selection, the song selections, to the placemats she had custom-made with quotes from my writing. Every single thing was intentional and well thought out. It was hands down the best date ever!
Khaliah: I remember the first date just like it was yesterday. I flew her in for the best date ever! It started when she arrived at the airport—I sent her a curated playlist with instructions to listen to while in flight. The playlist included jams like, "Love of My Life" (Brian McKnight), "Spend My Life with You" (Eric Benét), "A Muse" (dvsn), and "You" (Raheem DeVaughn) to name a few. Now, I gave this little lady specific instructions to travel “date-ready” because we had a strict timeline. I knew she landed because I tracked the flight. After she didn’t respond to the text, “I’m inside the airport at baggage claim,” I started to low-key, high-key panic. I just knew she ghosted me! Well, come to find out she didn’t follow directions and went to the restroom to get glammed up.
I met her inside at baggage claim and to be funny and break the awkwardness of our first “real” date, I made a sign that had her name on it—you know like what the personal drivers do! We proceeded outside to the actual driver, and he whisked us off to dinner. When she walked into the private space reserved just for us--she was greeted by my boy, Keith, who serenaded Colby with her favorite Anthony Hamilton song while walking through candlelit rose petals carefully placed on the floor. We were greeted by Chef Lynn who prepared one of Colby’s favorite meals—short ribs, broccolini, and garlic mashed potatoes, paired with her favorite red blend. I knew Colby loved attention to detail so I reached out to my friend Rockie at Custom Tingz for her to create a custom placemat that included a quote from one of her many fabulous articles. I wanted her to have a keepsake. The night was nothing short of magical!
The Courtship
Colby: I would say Kay was the initiator in pursuing the relationship and I was the initiator in taking the relationship to the next level. If it were up to me, I would have left our interaction as just a moment in Houston, but Kay kept in contact after I left. We spent hours on FaceTime, and when we weren’t on FaceTime, we were sending voice memos all day. She sent me hand-written love letters and an embroidered blanket, because I’m always cold, for an upcoming trip I was taking. In return, I sent her love letters and Luther Vandross’ Forever, for Always, for Lovevinyl from my grandparent’s collection. While I was in Kenya, she somehow managed to get a hold of the hotel I was staying at and had them leave a card and a small bouquet of fresh flowers on my pillow. Listen, her courting is next level! But, it worked.
I returned from Kenya and told my family and friends that I’d met someone, who I’m pretty sure is “the one”...oh, and it’s a woman. Surprise (laughs). They were equally shocked and supportive. I think Kay was just as shocked because this was a big thing -- telling my family and friends that I was now with a woman. But, for me, it was easy and I wanted the people I love to share in the love that I have for her. A little over a month after we met, we had a casual conversation while standing in the kitchen about “what are we.” I told her we were a couple and the rest is history.
Khaliah: So, check it. I’m going to give you the tea on this, okay?! Because Colby is still in full-out denial about some of her actions that catapulted our relationship to the next level. In short, I guess overall we can say I was the initiator AND she sealed the deal when she initiated the first kiss. The courtship continues. I vow to always court her. She’s not regular and it’s an honor for me to court her. Because we live in two different countries, the courtship, as I think about it, is the gushy kind, like a rom-com, imagine the materialization of the best quotes from Love Jones. I found myself ‘Jonesin’ like never before, writing four-page love letters, sending playlists, and such.
The conversation that ensued (let’s call it on Day 4 or 5) was one for the record books. We were having an intimate and vulnerable conversation about what we learned in our past relationships and the healing that needed to take place in order to be “whole” for the next one. We both shared about the tumultuous journey to healing we embarked on and made a promise to each other that we vowed to never unravel the hard work. It was refreshing and would be the springboard for many deep, stimulating, and “oh my gosh I’m so in love with this woman” conversations I’ll have with Colbs.
Courtesy of Colby Holiday
The One
Colby: For me, I couldn’t imagine doing life with anyone else. The way she held space for me and vowed to protect my heart as if it were her own — I knew she was the one I wanted to do life with. This happened very early on — we weren’t even a week in (laughs). In fact, it was the moment she prayed for me, over the phone, as I was getting ready to head out on a road trip for my birthday. It had me in tears. No one had ever prayed for me and over me that way. I knew then that I wanted to do life with her.
I knew it was love when every thought about my future included Kay -- when we spoke definitively about our future in “whens” and not hypothetical “ifs.” There are few things that I can say that I am sure of, but this…this thing that Kay and I have is the most certain I’ve ever been about anything. I knew it was love when she held my hand through my most vulnerable moments and loved me anyway. Not even that she loved me through those moments, but she created a safe space to allow that vulnerability, to begin with.
Khaliah: I wanted to commit to a relationship the moment I realized I no longer wanted to give her the world, instead I wanted to do life and dwell in the world with her. Navigating life with all that comes with it—love, loss, happiness, grief, joy, and everything in between.
I knew it was beyond love, she was created for me. My divine partner. You see, I took 2020 to truly heal. I stopped dating and on my birthday in October 2020, I wrote out my ‘divine partner’ list and all the characteristics and personality traits I desired for them to have. I don’t believe in luck or serendipity. After the hundredth “coincidence,” I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I was madly in love with who I was meant to journey with.
"I wanted to commit to a relationship the moment I realized I no longer wanted to give her the world, instead I wanted to do life and dwell in the world with her. Navigating life with all that comes with it—love, loss, happiness, grief, joy, and everything in between. I knew it was beyond love, she was created for me. My divine partner."
Courtesy of Colby Holiday
Individual Challenges & Challenges as a Couple
Colby: I think the biggest challenge I’ve had to work through is realizing that we are a team. Unrequited relationships were the theme of my past. So, even when there was someone, I never had a true partner to count on and lean on. If I wanted anything done, I had to do it myself. If I wanted a romantic evening, I had to plan it. If I needed the oil changed in my car, I had to get it changed or change it myself. You get the point. With my experience in previous relationships, coupled with childhood traumas, I am wildly independent. So, when Kay came along I had to realize that it’s not just me anymore.
I don’t have to do it, whatever it is, alone. She is my person and I had to learn to lean on her. Integrating someone into a world that I’d been navigating solo, and taking her thoughts and feelings into consideration was a bit of a challenge for me. I think our biggest challenge as a couple has been the distance. We live in two different countries, but we make the absolute best of it. Lots of Facetime dinner dates, evening walks, and surprises, like I’ll Instacart her groceries, dinner or her favorite snacks. You can still date even when you’re countries apart.
Khaliah: Initially, in the beginning, distance was one of our biggest challenges. She lives in Mexico, and I live in Houston, TX. Another was the ability to discern when I am projecting onto her or an understanding that we need to reach. One thing is for sure, two people can express their truths and they are completely different yet in reality, two truths can dwell together.
Baggage Claim
Colby: We talk about everything --- even the hard conversations that could make a relationship implode. Though I’d done a lot of healing and self-work before we became a couple, there were still times I found myself reverting back to my old ways and insecurities, like not communicating and feeling not enough. After one challenging conversation, Kay suggested I find a therapist (something I’d been putting on the backburner for years) and unpack some of these feelings.
I found a therapist the very next day because what I didn’t want was for old baggage to affect our current relationship. I had to unlearn poor communication skills and masking my true feelings and thoughts, instead of saying how I really feel or what the true issue is. Therapy has helped so much with that.
Khaliah: We navigated [baggage as a couple] by seeking professional advice through therapists who “look like us” and can relate. The tools and resources they share individually have helped us countless times navigate each other’s baggage and shine a flashlight on blind spots and behaviors that are preventing us from showing up in the world as we intend to. [Individually, unlearning certain 'bad' behaviors] required me to go back to 8-year-old Khaliah and rub her back and let her know that as she navigates adulthood, she will experience trauma manifested as rejection and abandonment.
You see, I am a love child and didn’t establish a healthy relationship with my biological father until the last two years. Because of the absence of my father and every time he would “no call, no show” my family, bless their hearts, would “cheer me up” after each disappointment and take me to Chuck E. Cheese. Those childhood behaviors created an adult that expected, no required, other adults in my life to “cheer me up” when I felt abandoned or rejected regardless of if they were a part of the situation.
Love Lessons
Colby: [I've learned] you don’t have to set yourself on fire in order to keep others warm. I am a people pleaser. I will go out my way to not inconvenience others, even if it’s at my own expense. Kay is constantly reminding me that it is okay to be selfish with my time and energy. She reminds me to give myself permission to rest and to take care of me — mind, body, and spirit. We both came into our relationship with our own methods of staying grounded and centered, like practicing meditation, affirmations, yoga, exercising, etc. But, it has elevated to such a deeper act of self-care having someone that not only makes sure I’m taken care of, but that I’m taking care of myself, first and foremost.
I’ve learned that while love is multi-faceted, it doesn't have to be complicated. Love, with the right one, isn’t hard. It doesn’t hurt. I’ve learned that being the best version of myself was a prerequisite for this love that I had been calling forth. I still had work to do and had I met the love of my life at any other point in time, I probably would’ve blown it. Timing is everything. And when it’s right, it doesn't have to be forced -- everything moves with flow and ease.
Khaliah: Colbs loves me as I am. The things I am afraid to admit to myself while staring in the mirror she embraces them, kisses them. The most important lesson I’ve learned about the love of self through her love is to not tolerate the shameful moments of my growth, celebrate them, and know I don’t have to “put on” for the right people in my life –they will also celebrate those moments.
Through loving my partner in this relationship I’ve learned that sometimes you don’t have to have a “backup” plan. Take the risk. Do the thing that truly makes you happy. Another lesson learned about love is you must release and surrender to what you thought it will “look like” and embrace what it is. We are truly writing the modern-day version of The Notebook—the adventures…and misadventures!
"Love, with the right one, isn’t hard. It doesn’t hurt. I’ve learned that being the best version of myself was a prerequisite for this love that I had been calling forth. I still had work to do and had I met the love of my life at any other point in time, I probably would’ve blown it. Timing is everything. And when it’s right, it doesn't have to be forced -- everything moves with flow and ease."
Courtesy of Colby Holiday
Shared Values
Colby: Integrity, dying empty -- meaning we both value living life to the absolute fullest, and being the change in the world.
Khaliah: Integrity, vulnerable communication, generosity, and fun.
The Best Part
Colby: My favorite thing about Kay is her thoughtfulness. She really knows how to make a girl feel special. It’s the little things like little sticky notes she leaves in my luggage, in my passport, etc. when I’m traveling and getting my workspace ready for me when she knows I have a lot to do. It’s the moments in the mundane that she always makes feel extra special.
Khaliah: Some of the favorite things about Colby are her heart and soul are pure, loving, free-spirited. I can bask in her presence until the end of time. I love how we communicate about the stuff that most couples would avoid in fear it would ruin the relationship.
For more of Colby and Khaliah, follow them on Instagram @worldofawanderer and @kogspeaks.
Featured image courtesy of Colby Holiday
This Black Woman-Owned Creative Agency Shows Us The Art Of Rebranding
Rebranding is an intricate process and very important to the success of businesses that want to change. However, before a business owner makes this decision, they should determine whether it's a rebrand or an evolution.
That's where people like Lola Adewuya come in. Lola is the founder and CEO of The Brand Doula, a brand development studio with a multidisciplinary approach to branding, social media, marketing, and design.
While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
Feature image courtesy
The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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Women's Voting Organization Supermajority's CIO Talks Election Issues, Minus The Drama
Voting has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. As a child, my parents would pack my sister and me up in the car and allow us to take in the excitement of the polls during local and national elections.
Years later, in 2008, I voted in my first election for Barack Obama and emotionally celebrated his win surrounded by fellow classmates from Clark Atlanta, Spelman, and Morehouse.
I remember calling my grandmother, who has since transitioned, and hearing the passion in her voice when she explained how she’d never thought she’d see something like this happen and how much it meant to her. As I reflect, I realize it’s a combination of memories like this that undoubtedly encouraged my will to vote.
However, as an adult, my reasoning behind the practice has developed. It’s no longer just about “the right thing to do.” I feel a responsibility to myself and my future to know the issues, how they impact me, and make a difference for others.
In the times we’re in, there's so much “news” everywhere. It’s hard to distinguish fact from opinion and bias from beliefs. This is why it was such a pleasure speaking with Jara Butler, Chief Impact Officer of Supermajority. Supermajority is an organization focused on making women the most powerful voting bloc in the country. During this authentic and informal conversation, we talked about so much.
I learned about her time working with the Obama campaign and how she masterfully worked in multiple industries, and we shared some of our favorite female rap moments. However, in the snapshot you’ll read, we focused on the issues. Jara walked xoNecole through what’s most affecting women of color in this election and what we can do to be more aware. Whether you’re a politics girlie or like me, just trying to gain more insight, hopefully this convo connects with you.
Uwe Krejci/ Getty Images
xoNecole: Let’s just jump right in. What are some of the most popular issues that you hear Black women discussing related to this election?
Jara Butler: Our sister organization, the Supermajority Education Fund, recently did some research specifically looking at young women in the age group 18 to 35, and young Black women identified their economic well-being as a priority. Right now, we're in a place where a lot of us, especially young Black women, are finding that meeting those basic needs are harder and harder.
Secondly, is Project 2025. I think Black women see it as not just something that could happen, but actively happening. For example, we’ve all been watching the case with the Fearless fund, and how it's been targeted. We know Black women are very entrepreneurial. We can go back to Madam C.J. Walker and others who have opened the door for all of us to achieve. But if those barriers are in place, we're just not going to be able to meet that.
Lastly, Repro is a very big issue. But I think looking at it holistically and not just about abortion is important. Black women are more likely to talk about this from a perspective of our reproductive health care and the lack of access due to medical racism. As a Black woman myself, who's over 40, a lot of the changes that I am making in my life are because I have to do everything I can to put myself in a position, because I know no matter what my economic status is, if I walk into a medical office, there's a good chance I'm gonna face medical discrimination. Breast cancer screenings, colon cancer screening, ovarian cancer screening, cervical cancer screenings - all of those are part of that network of reproductive health.
xoN: Another issue I’d love your insight into is our missing girls. I think it's so unbelievable how much this is swept under the rug. There are so many stories about Black women that are continuing to go missing; I don’t understand how that’s not a bigger conversation. Is this something that can be pursued on the government level and what can we do to bring more attention to this issue?
Jara: We have this list of majority rules on our website, and my favorite one is: that our government represents us. I think that we have to continue to apply pressure to our government to meet our needs. And again, women are the majority of voters. Black women, especially, are the most reliable voting bloc across all groups, and our interests right now are not being met. So yes, there is something that we can do, but I also am a big proponent of us having these conversations.
My great-grandmother was enslaved, my grandmother was born into Jim Crow, and I watched my mother face economic insecurity. I say that because, as a Black community, we have to have an internal conversation to talk about these issues, and we have to do it upfront. I think we have to get into a position of realizing that we do have power, and how we activate that power.
Our power comes from being Black folks because Black people organizing has been enough to shake up and scare people. There were laws that prevented us from congregating together, even at church, because they knew what would happen when we got together. We have to get back into that. It's not that we are not doing it, but the urgency needs to be greater. And finally, we have to get away from depending on one individual to take us there. It's gonna take all of us.
"Our power comes from being Black folks because Black people organizing has been enough to shake up and scare people. There were laws that prevented us from congregating together, even at church, because they knew what would happen when we got together. We have to get back into that. It's not that we are not doing it, but the urgency needs to be greater."
xoN: I agree completely. Now, when we started, you mentioned money. So let’s talk about it. So many of us are starting businesses and getting degrees, and I love to see it. But everyone seems to still be having a lot of the same issues around finances. What are some of the underlying reasons behind this debt that we're dealing with, and how can voting influence these challenges without getting into the individual candidates?
Jara: Hello! Let’s talk about the money! Black women have been told that if we want to move ahead, we have to have that master's degree. We have to be twice as good. So we met that measure, right? But in order to do that, we have to pay for it. Up until about the 1970s college was absolutely affordable. You could work one job and pay for college with some money left over. That has changed.
Realistically, student loans are a barrier. They are a barrier to access housing. They impact our credit, and really and truthfully, depending on how much your loans are, they could affect you paying rent. It basically creates a cycle of debt. And I have real problems with people who say, get a degree in something that's going to make money. It’s about your skills, and if you have the skills, you should be able to earn a living. That covers that.
But the fact is that student loan debt continues to increase, and there have been attempts, more than once, to try to relieve some of that pressure. The reality is that this is a squeeze. It is a conundrum, and we see efforts by the current White House administration to try to alleviate those things, even when they are stopped.
But truly, Congress needs to step in and support this, but I would take it a step further. We should be considering and looking at what it would look like if we had free community colleges. Because what we have now is two generations of borrowers, because older millennials’ children are beginning to age. Black women have the highest degree of second-degree secondary education, but we carry like 1.7 trillion in debt or something like that. I can't remember the exact number, but basically, the majority of the student loan debt is ours.
FatCamera/ Getty Images
xoN: Speaking of college, obviously there’s a lot of discussion around affirmative action in the schools and the undergoing changes. How important is it to consider this topic, and are there any new laws or policies being proposed around this that we should be aware of?
Jara: Oh my goodness, affirmative action is one of the things that we saw that our sister site, the Supermajority Education Fund, found last year as a number two issue for young women. I actually hypothesized that it was a real thing, and it was. And the reason for that is that affirmative action as a whole has been something that benefited white women more than any other group.
However, what is happening is that we’re using the word DEI in a way that is derogatory. I’ve heard people refer to it as: “didn't even earn it.” And as a Black woman who attended an amazing school, I remember being in class and having someone make that comment, knowing my grades were higher than theirs.
The fact of the matter is that we would not need these policies if we lived in an equal and equitable society. It doesn't do us any harm for us to face the facts that this country was built off the backs of enslaved people and the blood of indigenous people, and off the sweat and the tears of immigrants. But because we are unwilling to face that, we now are demonizing programs that are actually meant to create some symbol of balance.
xoN: Finally, I’ll close with this, what can we do to provide information to young people, and how do we combat all of the less than researched info?
Jara: One thing I encourage is to look at the source. At Supermajority, our social channels are information-based. We strive to provide up-to-date accurate information that is digestible to all. Media literacy is something I believe in, and unfortunately, it is something that we have a responsibility to continue to share with the community at large. So much of our world is centered on immediate info, a lie spreads faster than the truth.
We just saw that with the Olympic women's boxers, and we have to ask ourselves often: is this information accurate? Who is telling the story? Most importantly, how am I an original contributor? Not everything said needs to be shared, and not every thought needs to be public.
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