I am alone, but I am not lonely. And when I say that I mean exactly what I just wrote. But it took a long time for me to get here. To get to a point where I feel comfortable in my own skin, doing my own thing, with not one single fuck given. I had to learn my time, freedom, and energy is everything to me. As a child, I was extremely lonely. I felt like I was never really heard or seen. Not by my family and not by my friends. Though I'm not an only child (I have a twin brother), that dynamic in itself is difficult because of gender biases. BUT I was a quiet child. I guess that's just part of my reserved nature. It's only recently that I have come to accept this part of me. And I do not let this part of me dim my light.
We often confuse "alone" and "lonely" to mean the same thing. But when you use these words in the correct context, they have an entirely different meaning. I do see how the meaning of these words can change depending on how the word is used in a sentence. Like when someone says, "I'm alone in this relationship" or "I'm alonefor the holidays". It suggests or implies a feeling that something is wrong. And usually, this said feeling is uncomfortable, unfavorable, and unwanted.
Before I delve deeper into what being alone and lonely means to me, let's explore the definitions of these two words. According to Merriam-Webster, Dictionary.com, and Google, the definition of the word alone is having no one else present. It is to be separated from others; to be apart, or isolated from others. While the definition of lonely is to be without company. It means affected, with, characterized by, or causing a depressing feeling of being alone, lonesome, or sad because one has no friends or company.
Do you see the difference between alone and lonely? To be alone is a physical state and to be lonely is an emotional state. Let me put this into context for you.
The Difference Between Being Alone & Being Lonely
The Meaning Of Being Alone
Again, being alone is simply physical. In every waking moment of our lives, we are constantly doing something alone. It's the little things that we do daily. It's eating breakfast, grocery shopping, cooking, going for a walk, driving to work, getting a manicure, or checking in at a doctor's appointment. You see, we typically move through life alone when we're not with family, friends, or coworkers. And we don't ever stop to question why we're alone in doing these things. It just is.
The Meaning Of Being Lonely
Now, certain events and situations can make us feel lonely. And it doesn't matter what the situation is, as long as the perception of loneliness is there. I have had countless moments like these too. We all have. But, have you ever noticed most of the situations are in social settings? Remember, to be lonely means to be without company which means not having anyone at the moment to do anything with. This could look like showing up to a birthday party not knowing any of the other guests or attending a wedding without a date when everyone else has one. It could also look like walking into a bar at happy hour and sitting at the bar alone. These are the situations that we choose to participate in that bring about the perception of being lonely. On the other side of the spectrum, you can just as easily be alone or feel lonely in a relationship or marriage. But that is a whole other layered discussion.
Somehow there is this universal notion we need company to enjoy the lives we live. And I am here to tell you that is not always true. Of course, life is always better when your creating moments and memories with your tribe. We're wired for interdependence. We need each other. We're not meant to do all things alone. But, what about the moments that you create for yourself? We, as women, need these little moments. We are just not taught how to enjoy our own company or how to be comfortable alone. And that is the problem.
I have learned to enjoy my own company – I date myself all the time. I have dined in picturesque restaurants, sang my favorite lyrics at a concert, and slayed the leopard one-piece on some country's white sand beach. To me, being alone means enjoying your own time, and to be lonely means to long for something or someone. And in this moment, I do not long for anyone or anything. I am completely content with where I am at in my journey. I live for new experiences and I will not wait for anyone to be available to enjoy them. If I know how to do anything at all, it's to have a good time alone.
So, I mean it when I say I am alone, but I am not lonely. And I hope that you find your own joy in being alone too.
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Camille is a lover of all things skin, curls, music, justice, and wanderlust; oceans and islands are her thing. Her words inspire and her power is her voice. A California native with Trinidadian roots, she has penned personal essays, interviews, and lifestyle pieces for POPSUGAR, FEMI magazine, and SelfishBabe. Camille is currently creating a life she loves through words, self-love, fitness, travel, and empowerment. You can follow her on Instagram @cam_just_living or @written_by_cam.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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There’s caviar, and then there’s Black-owned caviar. With the recent explosion of #CaviarTikTok, this luxury delicacy seems to be everywhere these days. I can’t scroll through my feed without seeing our favorite celebs and influencers diving headfirst into extravagant caviar spreads.
From Rihanna pairing her caviar with chicken nuggets (I wonder if our Fenty queen shares with RZA and Riot Rose or if this is just for mama) to Bethenny Frankel educating us on caviar with her series "Caviar University," there’s just no escaping it.
And let’s not forget the elite king himself, DeAndre Brown, indulging in fried chicken and caviar! From videos with caviar-topped burgers, potato latkes, deviled eggs, and pasta dishes—folks are topping everything with caviar. Yet, I had not come across any Black-owned caviar brands until I discovered Caviar Dream.
My Introduction Into Caviar
I started off eating caviar in undergrad on top of sushi, exploring with a variety of roe and tobiko but as an adult, I knew I was ready to try something a little more refined. The first time I fell in love with caviar was in grad school at a southern Italian restaurant in Flatiron.
I tried an appetizer that featured caviar on bruschetta, served with thick garlic bread and burrata cheese, and from that moment, I was hooked. That has become my favorite way to enjoy caviar next to this filet mignon crostini appetizer that I served recently at a dinner party.
Everything You Need To Know About Caviar Dream
Caviar Dream is the first nationally distributed Black and woman-owned caviar business, redefining how people experience caviar. Founded by Kendra Anderson, a Chicago based chef and sommelier, the company’s mission is to make caviar more accessible and inclusive, breaking down barriers and demystifying this delicacy.
@caviardreamkendra so you’ve got your Caviar Dream…now what to eat it with? i’ve probably had cavi with just about anything you can imagine at this point {topped some fried cheese curds with my California White a few months ago and it was 💥} but i gotta say that i have some on my scrambled eggs every week 😌 no need to get fancy — just scramble your eggs however you usually do and scoop that cavi right on top 🤤 you can upgrade from there in a few ways: ✨ add a dollop of crème frâiche {see my previous video for a 30 second make-at-home recipe} ✨ sprinkle some chopped chives or green onions on top ✨ put the whole caviar / scrambled egg situation on a toasted + buttered bagel, croissant or onion bun! p.s.: i love our Smoked Trout Roe with scrambled eggs too 💖 if you try any of these combos, let me know what you think! 🩵💭✨👩🏽🍳 #CaviarDream #caviarforthepeople #putsomecaviaronit #caviar #caviartok #fyp #caviarparty #caviarnight #affordableluxury #chicagotiktok #homecooking #galentines #valentinesday #tiktokuniversity #cooking #easyrecipe #caviar101
What Caviar I Tried
Caviar Dream Kaluga Hybrid ($105-$420 depending on the ounce)
How I Experienced The Caviar:
For this review, I opted for a more traditional approach by pairing Caviar Dream's Kaluga Hybrid with crème fraîche, blinis, and my favorite Black-owned champagne, Le KOOL Champagne by Robert Kool Bell.
My Honest Review:
I do not say this lightly - this was by far the best caviar I’ve ever had in my life. It was buttery, had no aftertaste, and truly felt as luxurious as it looked.
Prior to this, my favorite caviar was Imperial Caviar. I’ve tried many brands, from well-known to affordable, while recreating my favorite decadent appetizers at home or enjoying caviar bumps at parties with my friends and they were my favorite until now.
Caviar Dream boasts that chefs are obsessed with this versatile hybrid, which tastes more expensive than it actually is—and they were right. This buttery caviar would pair well with any recipe, especially if you’re looking to impress someone or even treat yourself.
As a Black woman, a business owner, and someone who understands that an extension of financial wellness is circulating our dollars, I recognize the importance of incorporating Black-owned businesses throughout every aspect of my life. From my skincare to my favorite sustainable wine, my bank, and even indulgent experiences like caviar, it matters.
As we celebrate culinary innovation and expand our palates, let’s also take the extra step to support Black-owned businesses while doing it. So the next time you’re tempted by the allure of caviar, order from Caviar Dream—it just might become your new favorite.
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