It seems like there’s never been more of an abundance of things to catch up on streaming sites than there is right now. From a sexy and salacious blind dating reality show to a wholesome comedy about a group of elementary teachers, there’s a show that fills every one of our needs. The ladies of XoNecole are here to help you decide what your next binge-watch pick should be!
Hanna Phifer, Culture Writer
Quinta Brunson in 'Abbott Elementary'
ABC/Ser Baffo
Last Sunday left a Euphoria-sized hole in my heart after the season finale of HBO’s wildly popular teen drama starring Zendaya. In the meantime, I caught up on ABC’s newest comedy Abbott Elementary starring internet sensation Quinta Brunson as a terminally earnest elementary teacher who navigates the cynicism of her fellow teachers and the systemic roadblocks her Black students face. It’s on a brief break right now which I might not survive.
Janell Hazelwood, Associate Editor
The ladies of the Netflix series 'Selling Tampa.'
Netflix
I'm a documentary, period drama, and reality TV fanatic. (And I'll never apologize for loving some ratchet entertainment!) I especially love the reality shows that serve up entrepreneurship or leadership with a side of drama like Netflix's Selling Tampa, which features a women-led real estate firm. VH1's Black Ink Crew and OWN's Love & Marriage Huntsville are two other favorites. I religiously tune into The Gilded Age, an HBO drama set in New York in the 1890s, and Snowfall, a crime drama set in the '80s heyday of Jheri curls, Cali cocaine, shady politics, and high living.
And while Kanye West might be a contentious figure right now, I'm still loving Jeen-Yuhs, showing us the inspiring come-up journey of arguably one of the most talented musicians and hip-hop minds of the 21st century. The music and early 2000s nostalgia brings back many good memories of my college years and is the perfect reminder to keep grinding toward my goals, no matter how long the road to success might be. The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, an Amazon Prime show about an up-and-coming comic in 1960s New York, also gives me all the feels for Joan Rivers, classic Manhattan eateries, and my childhood memories in Brooklyn's Williamsburg community.
Brooke Obie, EIC
Adam Scott and Britt Lower in 'Severance' on AppleTV+
AppleTV+
All of my favorite shows and movies are about the weird ways people deal with grief. (The Leftovers, Lost, basically anything Damon Lindelof has done.) My new weird grief binge is Severance on AppleTV+. The premise is that there are people willing to have a device entered into their brain that would sever their memories of their work life from their personal life memories; when you show up at work, you have no memory of who you are, you just do your work. And when you leave, your personal memories return and you have no memory of what you did at work.
OBVIOUSLY, there are no Black women in the main cast who have signed up to let white people cut their brains open (though there is one severed Black woman in the supporting cast and some non-severed Black women who play interesting roles in the story, alongside a fascinating severed character played by the hilarious Zach Cherry, and a menacingly cheerful non-severed character played by Trammell Tillman). But as both an indictment of capitalism and a meditation on grief, the series is an interesting exploration of what kinds of trauma you’d have to be overcoming in order to alter your brain irreversibly.
Sheriden Chanel, Senior Lifestyle & Relationship Editor
David Oyelowo and Gugu Mbatha-Raw in 'The Girl Before'
Amanda Searle/HBO Max
I’ve been trying to be more intentional about consuming content in the Spanish language because I'm learning Spanish. After revisiting the classic film Selena recently and realizing it didn’t really withstand the test of time, I was nervous about investing in a (mostly) biographical series that is about a culturally significant Latin artist. But, I was pleasantly surprised and am currently on season two of the Netflix show Luis Miguel: The Series, and I absolutely love it. It’s been great getting to know the artist behind some of the popular singles I’ve heard in passing while living in Mexico or from friends here. He has lived a very interesting life, one filled with wins, but lots of losses. And the actor that plays him, Diego Boneta, is a force and navigates the portrayal of Luis through his late teens, 20s, 30s, 40s seamlessly. A true delight to watch.
Also, anything Gugu Mbatha-Raw is in, I’ll give it a watch. The Girl Before on HBOMax had me captivated from minute one. I am a sucker for thrillers where a house feels like a malicious force and this series delivered that for me and then some. I loved that it was this mystery that made me believe it would unfold one way, thanks to the chilly and calculated performance by David Oyelewo, but then was like, ‘Not so fast.’ I had a feeling, but the connection between the house, the performance of newcomer Jessica Plummer’s character in the past intermingled with Gugu’s performance of her character in the present, was a four-part limited series I didn’t want to take my eyes away from.
Featured image by Getty Images
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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