It was a typical spring afternoon in Los Angeles and the entertainment capital of the world was on brand: a paradise of good weather. Upon entering a luxury high-rise apartment complex in the heart of downtown, I was met with multiple smiles. I returned the kind gesture (not often practiced in LA), glanced at my phone to confirm the room number, and said the resident’s name: Briana Wilson. The concierge nodded in understanding and led me to the elevator. After the doors closed, I made my way up… all the way up.
I thought briefly to myself how our missteps are often as important, if not more important, than our steps in the journey to the top. Those moments not only mold you, but they grow you and they are often a testament to who you really are. If you have a setback, are you going to allow it to stop you completely or are you going to take it as an L, and understand that there is more work to be done on the pursuit of what you want?
Briana Wilson is living proof that you can work really hard, collect those L's in stride, and in the end, still get it right.
The North Texas native is the mastermind behind MATTE, a thriving fashion line with simplistic everyday essentials.
Wilson’s designs have been featured in mainstream magazines, flooded Millennials’ social media timelines, and has been photographed on celeb influencers like Bella Hadid, Kim Kardashian, Keke Palmer, Teyana Taylor, Draya Michele and Karrueche Tran thanks to overeager paparazzi.
Moments after knocking on the door to her LA apartment, Briana greeted me with a saccharine smile, such a contrast from the usual badassness her features typically serve in IG photos. I am reminded of someone I've known for years as opposed to the mere seconds that had just transpired between two strangers. She took no time in filling me in on who she is and how her journey to MATTE all started. Humbly as ever, back in Texas in the 90s.
“I didn’t know shit about brands,” she admitted. “But I always cared about my appearance and the way clothes fit on people.”
Her mom noticed her appreciation for clothing early on and suggested a broadcast position that would fulfill her love for fashion and not cost a single cent.
After high school, Wilson counted down the days until she left the nest. A visit to Texas Southern University (TSU) on a college tour sparked her interest in the School of Communication.
For more than three years, Wilson juggled coursework while being a waitress at Twin Peaks, a popular sports bar in Houston. When she wasn’t working, attending classes, or modeling part-time, she was traveling and relishing in her early 20s. Around that time, she also began reading numerous books to quench her budding entrepreneurial thirst, including The Secret, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success and The Alchemist.
However, just one semester shy of a journalism degree, Wilson decided to move to the East Coast after being fired from Twin Peaks. She found that she was no longer interested in delivering on-air weather forecasts and instead, stepped out on faith. She quit school, sold her Jeep for $2,000, and moved to Far Rockaway, NY where her entrepreneurial skills were pumped into high gear.
There, she learned all about production, shipping, and running an e-commerce business while watching her boyfriend, Kobi McLemore, build Death Precision, a brand he had been perfecting since the age of 16. Through him and lessons she had learned, she was inspired to begin her own line.
“I really took notice one day when he found a striped t-shirt from a store next to the bus stop we always took,” Wilson shared. “He made $2,000 in one week.”
Within a year, she was ready to sell and maximize her own social media presence. Wilson purchased mesh and crochet tops online wholesale and found a jewelry designer to create customized necklaces, which would become the first items sold by MATTE. Her opening weekend goal was $4,000. At the time, she was living with McLemore in New Jersey.
“It was a humbling moment,” Wilson stated. “I might’ve made $300 the first weekend.”
Because she only met 7.5-percent of her goal, this was the first time she thought she would have to pack up everything and move back to Texas. There was no money and she was painfully broke.
Just before she was planning to move home from NY, she received a phone call from a friend with an enticing housing offer. Despite her initial doubt, she checked out the available living room space and it was a good fit. Plus, she didn’t have to sign a lease or pay a deposit.
It wasn’t her ideal living situation, but MATTE’s sales kept her afloat as she started to focus on selling hot-ticket items. In her words, it wasn't perfect, but she was doing well, which was a step up from previous months of everyday struggle.
Wilson lived there for about eight months before she was involved in a near-fatal car accident that resulted from rear-ending another vehicle while pulling into a Brooklyn gas station. “I immediately started freaking out,” Wilson recalled. “I put the truck in reverse to move off the other car.”
The other driver—a visibly angry man—yelled for Wilson not to move the truck to prevent any further damage. She thought she put the truck in park but it must have been in reverse or neutral.
As Wilson exited the truck and proceeded to walk behind her vehicle to the opposite side of the car, the truck rolled backwards, pinning her left leg between the base of a light pole and the truck’s bumper. The other driver hopped in the truck and immediately freed Wilson. Her main injury was a broken femur bone, the longest and strongest bone in your body. But like any purposeful entrepreneur, Wilson continued to run her business from the hospital bed.
She also started reading The Kybalion: A Study of The Hermetic Philosophy of Ancient Egypt and Greece. Reading the book reminded her that you can't feel happiness truly without feeling an equal amount of pain.
[Tweet "You can't truly know happiness without feeling an equal amount of pain."]
After her two-week hospital stay, Wilson relied on crutches for three months. She began to feel like it was time to switch locations and decided to move to LA. This move found her bank account balance looking right at $10,000 and she felt like things could only get better.
“I started making the most money when I moved to LA,” Wilson revealed.
Within the past year, Wilson has launched three additional lines under the MATTE Brand: WORKING GIRL, LEISURE, and FORWARD. Some of her most popular designs include bodysuits, leggings, and bikini bottoms. Scrolling through MATTE’s Instagram and Twitter profiles is guaranteed to take your mind to dirty places, as the fit and design of her clothing are created to leave little to nothing to the imagination. “I always wanted my clothes to be tight and to accentuate whatever I had going on.”
Wilson has a secure business flow and knows the basis of what makes a good company. She also has a solid team: Kristopher Welcome, Head of Operations; Sara Gomez, Customer Service Coordinator; and McLemore is the Graphic Design Artist (and still riding by his woman’s side). You can follow their day-to-day business operations on the MATTE video blog. Like her style, the video blog is straightforward and sometimes NSFW. Most importantly, she spoils her loyal customer base with consistency.
“You have to be consistent. I’ve never taken a business class but remaining consistent has got me so far as a businesswoman.”
Consistency paired with grand slam online marketing tactics has taken Wilson’s designs around the globe. A recent fashion shoot with a photographer revealed MATTE was popular among young adults in a European town known for Renaissance architecture.
MATTE Brand is expected to exceed a million dollars in sales this year.
“After going through so many lessons last year, I’ve found exactly what I need to do. I’m still standing.”
Kenneth Ware Jr. is a freelance writer with a smile as big as his home state Texas and a personality as lively as his new home, Los Angeles. You can usually find him in the middle of a dance floor or retrieving the 4-1-1 from your favorite celebrity, sometimes on a dance floor. Pics or it didn’t happen, right? Follow him on Instagram and Twitter at@KennethWareJr.
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That’s why I’ve written articles for the platform like “8 Kinds Of Sex Every Couple Should Have In Their Rotation” because, as you’re about to see in a moment, sex is too grand to be limited and, like I tell some of the couples that I work with, sometimes having intimacy issues in their relationship is because they haven’t explored and then discussed the type of sex that they enjoy most.
And, as you’re about to see, there are more than just a few.
1. Oral Sex
Oral GIF - Find & Share on GIPHYGiphyFellatio. Cunnilingus. Anilingus (also known as rimming). All of these fall under the definition of oral sex because oral sex is all about using one’s mouth to stimulate their partner’s genitalia. It’s funny because I recently saw an Instagram post where a woman was asking if folks could only get oral sex or intercourse for the rest of their lives, which one would they choose? And y’all, when I tell you that the answers were polarizing as hell. No side really won by a landslide. Interesting.
What I did notice is that when it came to orgasms, specifically, many of the women went with oral sex; which makes sense considering an overwhelming amount of women climax with the help of clitoral stimulation (only about 18 percent can cum from intercourse alone) — and oral sex is one of the best ways to make that happen. If you add to that the fact that you can receive peak sexual pleasure without the risk of pregnancy — yeah,oral sex is a win for many people whether it’s seen as an act of foreplay or the…main event.
2. Vanilla Sex
GiphyYou know what I saw that was actually pretty good (other than Drew Sidora’s character perpetually playing a victim when she was doing the very stuff that she was accusing her man of): Todd Tucker (you know, Kandi Burruss’s husband) movie,The Pass. If you haven’t seen it (yet), the main married couple are Maurice (Rob Riley) and Nina (Drew Sidora). Nina was already on a slippery slope, off top, because consistent sex in their relationship was not something that she was prioritizing (check out “What You Should Do If You Find Yourself In A Sexless Marriage”). However, when she did “fit it into her schedule,” vanilla sex was something that she was super fond of.
For the record, if there is a sexual position that is the mascot forvanilla sex, it would have to be the traditional take on the missionary. It’s considered to be traditional, conservative — the kind of sex that people who think that intimacy is for procreation more than anything and kinks should be avoided as much as possibly typically go for. In short, super-religious folks are gonna always revert to vanilla sex.
Now even though I didn’t just present vanilla sex to be fireworks central, I don’t think that anything is wrong with it any more than I think that something is wrong with preferring vanilla bean (which is always better than French vanilla, in my opinion) ice cream; especially since science says that missionary is what gets women the most consistent orgasms. Just make sure not to take the “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” approach to it. Although missionary can be effective, if it’s all you ever do, it can end up becoming somewhat…boring.
This brings me to the next kind of sex.
3. Adventurous Sex
GiphyFolks who have the “I’ll try anything at least once” approach to life are usually all about adventurous sex. These are the kinds of people who aren’t afraid — or even hesitant — to try out certain kinks. They are the ones who you will hear had sex in a strange location and all you’ll do is shake your head or Elmo shrug. They are the people who will videotape themselves more than once (check out “Before You Make A DIY Sex Tape, Read This.”) and create bucket lists (check out “This Is How To Create The Best Kind Of ‘Sex Bucket List’”), seemingly on a quarterly basis because that’s how intentional they are about trying new things.
Probably the best way to describe those who like adventurous sex is they’re adrenaline junkies which can be cool — so long that they aren’t so “on the hunt” for the next “high” that they don’t realize that intimacy, connecting, and not having to hang off of the chandeliers each and over time are good things too.
4. Morning Sex
GiphyI’ve been working with married couples for close to two decades now and when it comes to the healthiest ones in the bunch, one thing that they have in common is they prioritize sex (check out “Married Folks: Ever Wonder If Your Sex Life Is 'Normal'?” and “10 Wonderful Reasons Why Consistent Sex In Marriage Is So Important”). Even if they can’t do it the 90s R&B way (you know, all night long, chile), they will fit in a quickie or some morning sex — and good for them.
Morning sex gives you a good dose of “feel good” hormones at the start of your day, helps to strengthen your immune system, makes it easier for you to be productive through the day, helps you to feel closer to your partner until you can be in each other’s space again and, some studies even say that it can give you stronger orgasms too.
You know, I once read thatalmost 65 percent of women never engage in morning sex — that is absolutely insane to me. Now that you see all of the ways that it can benefit you (and your relationship), if you happen to fall into that tally, maybe give morning sex a shot to see if it can become your new favorite type of sex.
5. Spontaneous Sex
GiphyNatural. Impulsive. Without premeditation. These are some of the words that are typically used to define the word “spontaneous.” When it comes to sex, specifically, what I like about it (especially when it comes to couples who have been in long-term relationships) is that it reveals what happens when people are so into each other that they simply can’t hold back; they’ve got to have each other NOW. Spontaneous people send each other nasty texts just because. Spontaneous people meet up at home at lunch (and not to eat…well, traditionally so…LOL).
Spontaneous people book hotel reservations on a whim. Spontaneous people have sex in the middle of the night. Spontaneous people are oftentimes very vocal about how they feel and what they want when it comes to copulation. One of the best things aboutbeing a spontaneous individual — and definitely liking spontaneous sex — is everything doesn’t revolve around a plan. Spontaneous sex is very lust-driven and since lust means things like “intense sexual appetite” and “uncontrolled desire” — in context, what could possibly be wrong with that?
6. Synchrony Sex
GiphySynchrony is all about something happening simultaneously. So, when you apply this word to sex, it’s when you and your partner feel totally in sync with one another on a physiological level. For instance, some studies say thata blind date is a win or an epic failure based on how much physiological synchrony comes into play because it’s all about things like heart rates beating at a similar pace and evenskin conductance (which is literally like an electrical current that is exchanged) aligning. And just how in the world can you create this if it doesn’t come automatically?
Engaging in things like orgasmic meditation (check out “What Exactly Is 'Orgasmic Meditation'?”), spending time holding hands and cuddling, being intentional about spending quality time together — all of this can create physiological synchrony which can, in turn, intensify intimacy. Something else that’s cool about synchrony sex is when your bodies are on the same wavelength and you’re able to “breathe together,” it can increase your chances of experiencing an orgasm at the same time as well.
7. Solace Sex
GiphyIf you or your partner is someone who struggles with some level of anxiety, some or more solace sex may be what is needed. Solace sex is basically all about providing someone with reassurance. That said, I do think it’s important to go on record that this shouldn’t be used as a crutch.
What I mean by that is, if you are constantly participating in solace sex because someone has a crippling level of low self-esteem or they are extremely insecure, having sex with them to make them feel better about themselves is ultimately going to be counterproductive and, quite frankly, could end up turning into something toxic.
A lot of people engage in solace sex, whether they realize it or not; and that’s how sex ends up being misused instead of fully enjoyed (some of y’all will catch that later).
8. Make-Up Sex
GiphyHow many times have you heard someone (whether in media or in real life) say something along the lines of“Make-up sex is the best sex”? Any time I do, the characters Marcus and Angela from Tyler Perry’s movie Why Did I Get Married? almost instantly come to mind because remember how toxic they were and yet Marcus said that he didn’t mind fighting a lot because “the make-up sex was insane”? Yeah, it’s unfortunate how many people mistake craziness for passion which is a big part of the reason why I once penned, “Make-Up Sex Might Be Doing Your Relationship More Harm Than Good” for the platform.
Reconnecting with your partner via sex after a disagreement is fine. Being so poor at communicating that the two of you rely on sex to “gloss things over”? Eh…not so good. At the end of the day, make-up sex should be about celebrating reaching a resolve — not doing whatever you can to deflect from or avoid doing the work that it takes to actually find one.
9. Casual Sex
GiphyIf you’ve ever read my article, “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex'” before, you already know it’s something that I’m not personally fond of; mostly because I know that casual means things like “careless” and “apathetic.” Luckily, I’m not the only one who feels this way because more and more mental health and relationship experts are saying that our so-called hook-up culture has more “side effects” than a lot of people want to admit. Take the article, “The Problem with Hooking Up” which I once checked out on Boston University’s website. A part of what it said is this:
“Hooking up can be risky because the relationship is not typically monogamous, and when it’s labeled as a friends-with-benefits relationship or other similar pseudo-commitment, it can lead to a false sense of security that might make people be less cautious.”
Are there any pros to casual sex? I mean, if what you’re after is purely recreational sex and you’re being safe (both physically and emotionally), I could see why it’s a “plus” in some people’s books. I’ll just say that as someone who used to be notorious for having sex with friends back in my sexually active days if you signed up for someone to have no real plans for/with you beyond getting off, you can’t get mad when they stick to their end of the deal. Just sayin’.
10. Mindful Sex
Giphy“Mindful” is one of those buzzwords that pops up a lot on the internet these days yet have you ever wondered exactly what it means to be that kind of person? To be mindful is to be fully present. To be mindful is to have a heightened level of awareness. To be mindful is to be intentional about not overthinking. To be mindful is to be super thoughtful and considerate towards others. And if you translate all of this into the act of sex — can you see how mindful sex can be extremely powerful and intimate? There’s no way you can rush through foreplay and consider yourself a mindful sex participant.
There’s no way you cannot know your partner’s needs and consider yourself a mindful sex participant. There’s no way that you can always have quickies only and consider yourself to be a mindful sex participant. Out of all of these, mindful sex is the kind of sex that all couples in long-term relationships should aspire to have the most often because mindful sex truly is some of the best sex (check out “Mental Foreplay Hacks That Ultimately Takes Intercourse To New Levels” and “How About Having A 'Mindful Orgasm' Tonight?”). If you’re planning on having sex tonight, try and be mindful about it; watch how it takes things to a completely different level.
11. Solo Sex
GiphySolo sex is basically masturbation. Aside from the fact that it’s probably the safest way to enjoy sexual stimulation without the risk of pregnancy or contracting an STI/STD, there’s also no way around the fact that it providessome of the same health benefits as sex with another person does include a decrease of stress levels, reducing the intensity of period cramps, making it easier to fall and stay asleep, strengthening your pelvic floor and, assome experts say, it can help to reduce some of the symptoms that come with perimenopause/menopause as well. Just one (main) word of caution here: if your solo sex consists of sex toys, “too much of a good thing” could affect how you feel about sex with actual people — and not in a good way.
There areplenty of articles out in cyberspace that (fore)warn individuals that sex toys can make it so easy to orgasm that you find yourself either faking orgasms with your partner (check out “Why You Should Stop Faking Orgasms ASAP”) or disconnecting on some level with them because you’re so climax-focused that you’re not connection-driven. Solo sex can also make you a selfish (self-consumed) sex partner if you do it excessively too because, if you have mastered how to get your own self off, doesn’t it make sense that being patient enough to show someone else might feel like a complete waste of time? Balance is key with solo sex; that’s for sure.
12. Foreplay
GiphyForeplay is the appetizer before the meal. It’s what sexually arouses us to the point where we want to have sex and, from a physical standpoint, since lubrication makes sex more pleasurable for women, foreplay tends to be very necessary too. And why am I closing out with this one? It’s because some people are so into foreplay that they barely even “show up” for sex. Because they get a lot of what they need from foreplay alone, the act of sex doesn’t seem very necessary for them — which can cause real issues if their partner doesn’t feel the same way.
Bottom line with foreplay is it’s beautiful and essential, more times than not. It’s also something that you shouldn’t get in a rut about (meaning, just like sex shouldn’t always be routine, foreplay shouldn’t be either). Just make sure that you see it in the way that it was intended — warming up the engine before actually driving the car (so to speak).
___
There you have it, y’all — 12 types of sex. Now that they’ve been broken down a bit, which one is your automatic go-to (it always works), which one is your favorite (your preference), and which one should you try out more? Because just like you can havea type of man, you can have a type of sex. AND just like your guy type can keep you stuck if you’re not careful…your type of sex can too.
Learn and explore. Rinse and repeat. Enjoy over and over. In that order too, sis.
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Featured image by Giphy
