The Fear Of Being Seen
The other day, I was scrolling through my YouTube homepage, and I came across a video by YouTuber Bria Jones titled “your fear of BEING SEEN is holding you back from your fullest potential…let’s change that.” In the almost 19-minute video, she discussed the many reasons why people may have a fear of being seen and how it can negatively impact their lives. By avoiding being seen, you are masking your true self from others and letting others control your life. One of the solutions Bria suggested was tapping into your inner child because children are usually happy, free, and authentically themselves before the world tries to change them.
One of the reasons why I clicked on the video is because I, too, struggle with being seen. Since last year, I’ve been on a spiritual journey, which has helped me build up my confidence and uncover things about myself, the good and the not-so-good. When I was a child, I was always the center of attention.
You could find me somewhere smiling, talking, showing off my cuteness. But I quickly realized that not only brought a lot of positive attention, it brought a lot of negative attention as well. And as I got older, I became more concerned about what others thought of me and being careful not to step on anybody’s toes. I had become the complete opposite of who I truly was on the inside. It was painful, but I felt paralyzed and couldn’t do anything about it.
There would be moments when I could feel my authentic self trying to break free, but my body wouldn’t move. I’d become scared of being seen. Looking at me, you may not think this was something I deal with or have ever dealt with. I’ve always been fashion-forward, hair done, nails done, smiling, laughing, and I be outside (sometimes). However, there were so many experiences I had that, because of this fear, I was in my head and couldn’t allow myself to enjoy the moment even when the attention was already on me. I would deflect or try to avoid the attention altogether.
But while being on this spiritual journey has helped me a lot to get back to the true essence of London, I still have my moments where I struggle. Being a content creator comes to mind. It’s something about posting certain content on social media that sometimes holds me back from posting. I’m definitely not one of those people who likes to put EVERYTHING on social media, but I do want to create authentic content that connects with others and builds a community with my followers.
That’s why this video couldn’t come at a better time. The tips that Bria provided, such as tapping into your inner child and accepting that not everyone isn’t going to like you, but your content will connect with the right people, is the reminder I needed to always be myself. And for those who are judging you, send them love (in your head). Because, at the end of the day, I refuse to let anyone have that much power over me.
your fear of BEING SEEN is holding you back from your fullest potential...let's change thatwww.youtube.com
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Feature image by Paolo Cordoni/ Getty Images
London Alexaundria is the contributing editor for xoNecole. She is an alum of Clark Atlanta University, where she majored in Mass Media Arts and has worked in journalism for over ten years. You can follow her on Instagram and TikTok @theselfcarewriter
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Rihanna Talks Shedding Expectations And Finding Balance As A Mother
Since becoming a mother in 2022, Rihanna has defined parenthood by her terms and hopes to pass that sense of autonomy on to her children.
For Vogue China’s April cover story, Rihanna shared her perspective on raising her two sons with A$AP Rocky, and how she hopes to preserve her children’s uniqueness, devoid of societal expectations.
"The most beautiful thing...is that [children] come into the world with their own individuality and sincerity, without any logic or conformity,” she told the publication. “Which usually makes you feel that you must fit into a certain group."
The “Work” artist, known for her trendsetting style and captivating persona, expressed her desire to support children in fully embracing their individuality and encouraging them to be whoever they want to be. "It's really beautiful to see and I want to continue to help them navigate that and make sure that they know they can be whoever they want to be,” she says.
She continues, “They should embrace it completely, because it's beautiful, and it's unique. I love them just that way."
From shattering music charts to shaking up the beauty industry, Rihanna has forged a path that has since created the “dream” life we see today. One that she says has made her parents proud of.
“I’m living my dream,” she continued. “My parents were very proud of that because they just wanted me to be happy and successful. So, I think the key thing is to find some kind of balance. Yes, balance is important. Do this and you get the best of both worlds. You can write your own life the way you want, and it will be beautiful. Sometimes, you just need to let go of everyone’s expectations and start living your own story.”
Rihanna, who shares sons, RZA, 23 months, and Riot, 8 months, with rapper A$AP Rocky, recently shared her vision for expanding her family in the future in Interview Magazine.
When stylist Mel Ottenberg asked about the number of additional children she hoped to have, Rihanna replied, "As many as God wants me to have.”
"I don't know what God wants, but I would go for more than two. I would try for my girl,” she adds. “But of course, if it's another boy, it's another boy."
Featured image by Neil MockfordWireImage
