As a doula, a word that comes up sometimes is definitely “infertility.” If you’ve ever wondered how common it is, reportedly 1 in 5 women in this country (who are of reproductive age) will struggle with conceiving a child within a year of intentionally trying.
There are two things that you should immediately take away from this. One is that, if you’re trying to make a baby, you need to give yourself a year of having sex (2-3 times a week is good) before wondering if you or your partner has any type of fertility issues, and two, if it’s been more than 12 months, you should speak with your doctor as soon as possible to see if some underlying causes are standing in the way of you receiving a positive pregnancy test result.
While you’re trying, it’s also a good idea to take note of the fact that there are certain things that can literally stand in the way of having a smooth conception. Below, I’ve enclosed 12 — some things you may know, and some just might surprise you. Either way, the more you know about what to avoid when it comes to fertility, the easier it will be to get pregnant. Ready?
1. Gum Disease
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Honestly, I don’t know if it will surprise you or not to know that a little over 47 percent of people have some form of gum disease. Left untreated, it can lead to autoimmune diseases, diabetes, hormonal imbalances, heart disease, and yes, infertility — in both men and women. When it comes to us, while researchers are still trying to get to the root of it all, what they do know is women with oral health issues tend to take longer to conceive than those who don’t.
Also, non-white women tend to be more vulnerable to gum disease than white women. Bottom line, if you’re trying to get pregnant, that’s even more of a reason to brush and floss regularly and to keep up with your annual dental appointments as well.
2. Fast Food
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Did you know that, reportedly, 2 out of 3 people consume some sort of fast food on a weekly basis? Not only that, but 13 percent of folks eat some form of it on a daily basis (which is not good — check out “Why You Should Consider Leaving Fast Food Alone”). On the infertility tip, fast food works against pregnancy because not only does it make it 2-3 times harder for women to conceive, but the trans fat that’s in a lot of processed food messes with a man’s sperm mobility as sugary and processed foods can alter the environment of a woman’s womb in a negative way.
Does this mean that you can never have a French fry if you’re trying to make a baby? No. It just means that you need to cut way back and you should eat homemade meals that contain fruits, veggies, and whole grains more.
3. Energy Drinks
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You can’t get pregnant without a male’s assistance (even if it’s just his sperm), so if you’re trying to get pregnant the old-fashioned way, please discourage your partner from consuming a lot of energy drinks. Although some studies reveal that they do very little to a woman’s reproductive system, they can reduce the chances of “easy” conception for men by as much as 54 percent. The ridiculously high levels of caffeine that are in energy drinks play a role in all of this. I’ll get more into caffeine later.
4. Artificial Lighting (at Night)
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Say that you’re someone who likes to sleep with some sort of light on in your room, you’ve got a neon light in your home office, or you can spend hours reading by a lamp with no problem. While in most instances, this is fine, if you’re trying to make a baby, lighten up on that some. As crazy as it might sound, artificial lighting has also been directly linked to fertility issues. Apparently, it can mess with your body’s internal clock and ultimately throw your hormonal balance off — and that can make it more difficult to conceive. Hell, I’m a doula, and the first time I heard that, it tripped me right on out.
5. The Quality of Your Cervical Mucus
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Long story short, cervical mucus is what your cervix produces. During various times of your menstrual cycle, it will change. However, when it comes time for you to ovulate, you will typically produce more of it, and it will be slippery and clear. This is a good thing because if you’re trying to conceive, that type of mucus will make it easier for sperm to move about in. Since an increase in estrogen helps to make your mucus ideal for pregnancy, this is just one of the many reasons why it’s a good idea to get your hormone levels checked if you’ve been trying to get pregnant for 6-8 months and you’ve yet to experience any success.
6. Breastfeeding
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If there are two fertility myths that really need to go away, stat, it’s that you can’t get pregnant while you’re on your period (you can if your menstrual cycle is unpredictable because that means your ovulation one is as well; it’s just not super common) and you can’t get pregnant while you’re breastfeeding. On the breastfeeding tip, while during the first six months of feeding a newborn, there is reportedly a 98 percent chance that conceiving another child won’t happen; after that, you could be in for quite a surprise. Bottom line here is, if you want to get pregnant back-to-back, breastfeeding can make it difficult, difficult yet not impossible. If, on the other hand, you want to wait a while…for the sake of your uterus’s health, 18 months between pregnancies are ideal.
7. Caffeine
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Everything in moderation, right? If you’ve ever heard that caffeine can impact infertility, the reality is that a couple of cups of coffee probably won’t. At the same time, the combination of stress and caffeine consumption can do a number on male infertility, and too much caffeine could potentially affect the contractions of your fallopian tubes when it comes time for you to release your eggs. Again, coffee at the beginning of your day and dark chocolate (which also has some caffeine in it) can actually help with fertility — so while caffeine isn’t exactly the devil when it comes to getting pregnant, do make sure to not go overboard when it comes to consuming it.
8. Lubricant
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Lubricant can make for a really good time when it comes to sex (check out “The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant”). If you’re trying to get pregnant, though, do your best to go without it. The reason why is because some of the ingredients that are in the popular types of lubricants actually can mess with sperm’s mobility. Know what else is wild? Saliva can too. So, what should you do? From what I’ve read and researched, a hydroxyethylcellulose-based can help you out. While we’re here, if you’re thinking of going with a carrier oil, grapeseed and avocado should be OK; do avoid sweet almond, though. Some studies have linked it to premature births (the more you know).
9. Unsafe Sex
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When it comes to this one right here, if you’re thinking, “Who uses birth control when they’re trying to get pregnant?” — that’s a fair question and not exactly where I am going with this. What I mean by “unsafe sex” is, it’s important that you and your partner get a full blood workup if the two of you are ready to have a baby; that’s because STIs/STDs can make getting pregnant difficult — if not impossible — too. In fact, two of the most common ones (chlamydia and gonorrhea) are the greatest culprits. And since there are 20 million new cases of STIs/STDs annually — well, just something else to keep in mind if you want to get pregnant (or are having trouble trying to).
10. Fad Diets
Although you’ve probably heard that being overweight can make it challenging to get pregnant (because it plays with your hormones), crash dieting so that you can get to an ideal weight isn’t the smartest move either. A big part of the reason is that when you’re underweight, that can alter how much estrogen your body produces, estrogen that is needed to help you to get pregnant in the first place. So, whether you’re trying to lose weight because you know that you need to or because you want to “drop in order to gain,” speak with your doctor about the wisest way to go about it. These fad diets out here could be working against not for you.
11. Not Enough Seafood
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If you’re all about seafood, that can seriously increase your chances of conception, especially if it’s fish. Yep, there are studies that reveal that eating seafood on a weekly basis can make you want to have more sex, can improve the quality of your partner’s sperm, and can make ovulating easier to do. One study even revealed that 92 percent of couples who had fish on a regular basis got pregnant within a year compared to only 79 percent of those who didn’t. Pretty wild, right?
12. Phthalates
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If, off the top of your head, you don’t know what phthalates are, they’re chemicals that are found in a lot of plastics, including (oftentimes) bottled water and even the wrappings that fast food comes in (SMDH). The reason why they are such a no-no when it comes to conceiving a child is they can make it harder to get pregnant; plus, they can cause oxidative stress, inflammation, and even premature births, autism, and ADHD in your baby later down the pike.
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A baby is a blessing. What makes it even more divine is when conception is as seamless as possible. Well, you know what? If you take good care of your health and pay attention to what I just said, you are significantly upping your chances of that happening for you.
Here’s hoping that you do — and please, have tons of fun while you’re trying! #wink
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So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
Despite launching media careers from different pathways, the two New York-based women have forged a friendship where they can discuss their ambitions and challenges.
Both women are part of xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, recognized in the Viral Voices category for the impact they’ve made through storytelling, creativity, and authenticity. Together, they represent what it means to build an "It Girl" brand with integrity and depth. In the spirit of SheaMoisture’s "Yes, And" ethos, Les and Kayla embody the freedom to be multi-layered as women evolving boldly into every version of themselves.
This conversation has been condensed and lightly edited for clarity
On Forging Their Own Paths
Les Alfred: Being a Jane of all trades is incredibly challenging. And one of the challenges I've faced is that the scope of what podcasters now need to do has increased so much. When I first interviewed you in 2019, I was still very new at it, but I remember being on a Skype call with you from my bedroom in Seattle. That was how I ran the show. And that was good enough. That is absolutely not good enough these days. The scope and the quality keeps increasing, but the resources that you have don't necessarily increase in order to remain competitive.
I get asked so many questions from people who want to get into podcasts and they want to get started. Most of the time, I'm just like, 'I don't have tips for you.' Because, one, I don't know what it's like to start in this current environment. Two, I know what it takes to contend and be consistent in this environment. The barrier of entry is a lot higher in terms of having something of quality than it was before.
On Balancing Ambition and Rest
Kayla Greaves: I've had to make a very clear effort to slow down and just not take on as much. Yes, you're running a business, but you're also living your life. I had one of those days yesterday. I just laid down and listened to white noise for hours because I just needed my brain to just be clear. I called a friend. I cried.
I'm starting over again today. The sun is out. It's a new day. And that's just sometimes what you have to do. You can't show up for your audience or for other people, if you can't show for yourself. I think that creativity comes from a place of living your life and having genuine experiences, and then sharing those experiences through your art.
"I had to give myself permission to let myself grow publicly in ways that I'd already done personally."
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On Evolving Through Growth and Rebranding
Les: I didn't create Balanced Black Girl until 2018, but I started blogging and creating content and doing things under the Balanced brand in 2014. I was 24 years old at the time. Now, I'm 36. The things that were important to me, the perspective that I had and the stories I wanted to tell were entirely different. I think I had to give myself permission to let myself grow publicly in ways that I'd already done personally. The show isn't really about wellness anymore. And that shift started happening a couple of years ago.
When we started expanding into more lifestyle topics, more self-help topics [and] talking about entrepreneurship, the audience responded really well. That was when the show really started to grow and take off. And that was what got so much more engagement than the episodes back in 2020 when I was doing hour-long deep dives on gut health.
Rebranding the show was something I've been thinking about for a long time. When I was finally like, 'Oh, I need to do this,' honestly, was the 2024 presidential election. I was like, these people are about to be in here acting crazy. I do not feel safe with my business name being what it is. I don't want to be targeted for any BS. We saw what they did to the Fearless Fund.
"You have to balance your integrity with your income."
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On Integrity Over Income
Kayla: I have many other interests aside from beauty. I'm growing and I'm changing as a person. I'm not the same person I was when I started at InStyle in 2019 before the pandemic rocked everybody's world. I don't think reviewing every single lipstick that comes out is exciting or interesting, because everybody does it now, and everybody feels like they're qualified to speak on things that they're not qualified to speak on. I'm currently in that pain point of growth.
I don't think I have always been in environments where I've been encouraged to branch out on my own ideas. I finished Ina Garten’s memoir maybe a month ago. She kept repeating this quote in her book. She said, ‘What goes in early, goes in deep.’ Now that I'm on my own and I don't have the resources of a traditional media company, which is what I have become accustomed to, sometimes it's difficult for me to be like, 'Okay, just go ahead with the thing.'
I think, Les, just the other day, you reposted somebody saying that they let go of a five-figure deal and then got double the next day because it just didn't feel aligned for them. Those are the things that happen. I have to find a balance of, 'Okay, how do I keep myself afloat?' And that may mean I may not be balling out of control just yet, but I'm okay for now. I can buy myself nice things every once in a while, but you have to balance your integrity with your income.
Les: There are just certain lines that I'm not willing to cross. Especially when I created more wellness content, one of those lines was I will not promote any sort of weight loss product. All of these GLP-1s all want to advertise on my podcast. I actually have nothing against those types of products, but I don't ever want someone to look at what I'm putting into the world and think that I'm saying that they need to feel a certain way about their bodies.
Even if the money is great, that's not for me to say, and that's not the type of message that I want to put out here. Or, I had another kind of brand deal come through that would have required me to divulge things about my personal life that I just don't really want my audience knowing about me, and bringing them along on journeys that I just find personal and I want to keep offline. I don’t want to be known for dragging my mess all over the internet for a buck.
I don't want to be known for being an influencer. I would love to be 1,000% in on my podcast, scale it, have it grow to be a media empire where I'm producing and putting out other bodies of work. For now, until that other side of the business really picks up and gets to the point where I want it to be, I kind of need to play the influencer game a little bit to live in this expensive city. But I'm gonna do it on my terms. It's a constant compromise that I'm coming to with myself.
"You can never make a big vision come to fruition if you're sitting and you're waiting for somebody else to tell you exactly what to do."
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On Mutual Admiration and Friendship
Les: Something that I really admire about you in having known you for the past couple of years is you don't wait for a roadmap. You jump in, you roll up your sleeves, and you do it. You can never make a big vision come to fruition if you're sitting and you're waiting for somebody else to tell you exactly what to do.
Kayla: Well, first of all, I want to say thank you for saying that, because that means so much to me, and it's very affirming. That's exactly how I feel about you. I remember, even at your first live show, you're like, ‘Oh my god, I'm so stressed. I don't know what I'm doing.’ And, the shit sold out. And, you know, and now, like, you see the growth of the podcast. And you have nearly 61,000 subscribers on YouTube. I just checked recently.
I talk a lot about people that really just need to not say anything on the internet, because it's so frustrating as somebody who grew up as a traditional journalist. You want people to fact check and ask thoughtful questions and have good conversations. I've never said that about you. I've always loved your podcast. And I've sent a lot of your episodes to friends when they're going through specific things that you're talking about.
This season has been a little bit slower to me, so you've been a constant source of inspiration, and it's just been such a pleasure to see your podcast grow despite the challenges you've had. I know it's not easy, but you continue to grow and continue to push through, and I really admire that as somebody who sat and cried yesterday and listened to white noise.
And this is why I tell you all the time, you really do inspire me. I love you a lot.
Les: Oh my gosh, I love you a lot. I'm so glad that the podcast brought us together.
Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
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