Eve Shares Struggle With Infertility Led To A Myomectomy
The truth about motherhood is that the journey can be frustrating AF! For some women, it's hard enough to even come to the decision to want to bring another life into this world, and after acting on the desire to become a mother, experiencing roadblocks can be a devastating blow.
Mogul Eve is taking her struggles in stride all while giving us a closer look into the obstacles that she is facing on her journey to motherhood. During a recent episode of The Talk, she was accompanied by women who openly discussed age and other factors that affect women's fertility. The encouraging words and testimonies from other women paired with her own determination allow Eve to adopt a 'pitbull in a skirt' stance on overcoming her own fertility issues. This new adjustment in her perspective came after the initial feelings of failure and shame when realizing she would require medical assistance in order to conceive. Eve struggled:
"I felt like I was broken. I felt like, 'Oh well maybe I'm not good enough.'"
The fertility conversation started as a response to actress Emma Roberts opening up about her current pregnancy and finding out that her struggle with endometriosis would have an effect on her fertility. The 29-year-old actress revealed that she made the decision to start freezing her eggs in her late 20's, and the news prompted all hosts to address the relationship between age and fertility. Sharon Osbourne was able to offer some optimistic wisdom and encouragement by sharing that she knows a woman that is well into her 50's who was able to have a healthy baby. Though viewers were able to walk away from this segment heart-warmed and hopeful, Eve shares that the reality of walking out of a doctor's office can leave women with opposite emotions. She shared her first-hand experience:
"I think as women we're always told when you reach a certain age, 'You're too old. You should have done this then.'"
However, Eve is not going to let what is perceived by many as a late start deter her from her time to shine in the sector of motherhood. Though she is already a proud stepmom of four, the rapper-turned-host is ready to have a biological child by exhausting all options. To increase her chances of conception, Eve has opted for surgery. She explained:
"For me, I'm 42 now. My husband and I, we've been trying and trying and trying and trying...We've been doing certain things and for me, I understand where Emma was coming from with the endometriosis because, at the beginning of the year, you ladies know…I had a procedure called a myomectomy that gets rid of fibroids."
She also added:
"I used to have these horrible periods. And I'm only saying this to say, there's a lot of women out there that think [that], we were told that periods are supposed to be painful. They're not. Go to your doctor, and if they don't believe you, go to another doctor."
While being on her pursuit to biological motherhood is teaching Eve how important it is to prioritize her health and peace, she credits her stepchildren for changing her perception of what it means to be a nurturer. Eve shared during our exclusive interview:
"Being married and having stepchildren has completely changed me because when I first met him, I didn't even know how to talk to kids. I was like, 'Do you want to color? What do you want?!' I was so weird with the kids, and it takes a minute to settle, but I definitely softened as a person. I don't come from a family of huggy, 'I love you' type of affectionate people. If we kind of know you, you'll get the head nod and, with the kids, you have to be open to hugs and that changed me, and it's a really nice thing."
We wish you all the best Eve!
Featured image by Instagram/therealeve
New Jersey native creating a life that she loves while living in gratitude. She loves using beauty, and fashion to create a balanced lifestyle while prioritizing wellness. A devoted fur mom, and a full-time lover of laughter. She is out for revenge against the darkness by being light, taking her own advice, traveling the world, and letting you know that you are so lit! Connect with her via IG @iamzaniah and please visit Zaniahsworld.com
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Stress Awareness Month: Sneaky Workplace Triggers Affecting Black Women, And How To Cope
We all know about the major stress triggers of everyday life, from relationship woes to monthly bills to unexpected emergencies, but there are small, subtle triggers that impact Black women in a big way, especially when it comes to work. It’s good to be aware of these sneaky stressors in order to maximize your day and find ways to incorporate solutions into your self-care routines.
Since it’s Stress Awareness Month, we caught up with Keanne Owens, LCSW, founder of Journey To Harmony Therapy Center, to talk about these triggers and what Black women can do to manage and cope.
Owens is an experienced South Florida-based counselor and social worker who offers her services via Grow Therapy, a therapy and medication management platform. She has worked with Black women professionals to unpack issues related to workplace stressors. “One is the pressure to perform–having to meet deadlines and deliverables. And a lot of times, these subtle stressors from performance are put upon ourselves as Black women. We want to make sure we’re doing our best. We don’t want to be critiqued in certain ways.”
Excessive micromanagement leading to fear of overly critical bosses is another subtle trigger that can negatively impact Black women in the workplace.
“Whenever something is done wrong, or we experience some type of injustice and have to report it, it’s the fear of retaliation–[fear that] we won’t be taken seriously or [our words] will be taken out of context because of being deemed as the ‘angry Black woman,’” she said.
Black Women And Workplace Stress Triggers
Her sentiments are backed by research. A recent report by Coqual found that 28% of Black women (compared to 17% of White men) say their supervisor uses “excessive control or attention to detail” when managing them. There’s more: A survey by the National Employment Law Project found that Black workers were “more likely to have concerns (80 percent) and twice as likely as white workers (18 percent) to have unresolved concerns at work, with 39 percent reporting they were “not satisfied with the employer’s response or did not raise concerns for fear of retaliation.”
The survey also found that 14 percent of Black respondents said they “avoided raising concerns to their employer for fear of retaliation—more than twice the average rate of 6 percent for all survey respondents.”
Owens pointed to the fact that these subtle stress triggers can negatively impact our physical health and our career advancement. “A lot of time it’ll affect our productivity,” Owens added. “We start to have negative thoughts of ourselves. The stressors can also cause fatigue. We’re no longer meeting or working up to our desired potential.” Other challenges as a result include insomnia and increased insolation, withdrawal, and lack of motivation to apply for jobs or promotions even when qualified.
valentinrussanov/Getty Images
How To Manage Subtle Stress Triggers
While there are systemic issues at play for Black women at work that has less to do with us and more to do with major overhauls that must be addressed by the powers that be, there are steps we can take for the betterment of ourselves and our mental health. Owens offered the following tips:
Tap into a support system, whether it’s a coworker you trust, a family member, an organization, or an outlet like a hobby.
Create a good work-life balance before burnout even starts. “Having certain boundaries [is the goal] such as, for example, if you get off at 5, you get off at 5. If your job description is this, you don’t go above and beyond because that brings you to a lot of burnout,” Owens said.
Prioritize self-care, whatever that means for you. “If you don’t have a routine, create one. Practice mindfulness and even some meditation,” she added.
Create structure in your life outside of work. “Even if you have a family, applying some structure in your routine helps relieve stress,” she said.
Get into grounding techniques. “Do a real quick square breathing exercise, that’s literally 30 seconds, or you can do a grounding technique that’s less than two minutes, right there where you are. You don’t need any other materials. That’s something you can do with just yourself and your body.”
Ask for help. “As Black women, we don’t ask for help enough,” she said. “Find where you need to ask for help. A lot of times, people think that’s indicative of weakness, but we need to rewrite that narrative. It’s okay to ask for help where you see fit. [If] you’re a mom, [it could be] every Wednesday from 5 to 6, your children are with the dad. You have to carve out that time.”
For more information on Grow Therapy, visit their website. You can also find out more about Keanne Owens, LCSW, via BeginYourJourneyToHarmony.com.
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Featured image by Charday Penn/Getty Images