A conversation with Eve is like sitting back over cocktails with your home girl—she's unapologetically open and unafraid to keep it real on everything from failed relationships to the ins and outs of being in an interracial (and international) marriage.
In short, she is comfortable with who she is, and she's not apologizing for it. We've come to know Eve not only as a multi-platinum rap artist, but also as the current co-host of The Talk, and the sassy and quick-witted Terri Jones from the Barbershop series.
We've also seen Eve go through a beautiful evolution from being one of a handful of respected female rappers in the game to now being a wife to a British millionaire and stepmom to four kids. Though she's still the Philly-bred rapper that isn't afraid to keep it all the way real, 39 years of wisdom under her belt has taught her that she no longer has to prove her worth in her career nor in her relationships. And in the process of dealing with breakups and make-ups, she's found that being true to herself was more important to holding on to unequally yoked lovers of her past.
“As I got older I was like, I come like this," she says, her famed paw print tattoos peaking out of her peach-colored jumpsuit. “This is who I am, but I also don't have the energy to hide it anymore."
Though she may be a little rough around the edges, she's refined on the inside, and it permeates in everything from her down-to-earth demeanor to her desire to give back to others. Today, she's dropping knowledge about the lessons she's learned as a woman who's been through the various stages of love. We sat down with Eve for some girl talk about cheating men, monogamy, and how marriage has helped her grow as a woman.
She had to stop dating what was familiar and step out of her comfort zone to find love:
"I can't even lie, I'm not saying that it's impossible, but [dating in L.A.] was hard. I had to import. I think it was also the circles that you're in especially when you're in the industry, that breeds the same thing and I lived there for so long, if I went back and I was single I would do it a different way. I wouldn't be trying to find someone within the people that I hung out with or the circle that I was in; I would actually try to get out of my comfort zone."
Marriage has taught her to be more vulnerable as a woman:
"Being married and having stepchildren has completely changed me because when I first met him, I didn't even know how to talk to kids. I was like, 'Do you want to color? What do you want?!' I was so weird with the kids, and it takes a minute to settle, but I definitely softened as a person. I don't come from a family of huggy, 'I love you' type of affectionate people. If we kind of know you, you'll get the head nod and, with the kids, you have to be open to hugs and that changed me, and it's a really nice thing. Being in a relationship and being married, nothing changed much except for the fact that we [can be] like we're together. No questions, no stress, that's my partner. That's my homie. That's how it's supposed to be, and I've never had that before, so it's really nice."
She embraces her role as a stepmom:
"Can I tell you, I got lucky because the kids are always sweet! But I also got into their lives early, now some of them are teenagers, I couldn't be trying to come in now. But because I came into their lives so early, they grew up with me so now it is what it is. Which is nice."
She hopes to one day be a mother:
"We absolutely want to have babies, but I think it is what it is. It'll happen when it's supposed to. I feel pressure, but not like pressure I have to hurry up and do it. It's more like, I want to be a young mom (laughs). I feel like we both understand it is what it is. I can't make it happen any faster, sorry. But I hope and pray it's going to happen soon."
Why she's no longer hiding who she is:
"We want to please—men and women—and we mimic that person that we're with. But it took me a few horrible relationships where I bent over backwards trying to do all of this stuff and be this girl and do this that and the other and not be respected but because I was in love. But I think a lot of times, we forget that a person falls in love with you for you, and that most times that's when you're your genuine self. And as I got older, I was like, I come like this. This is who I am, but I also don't have the energy to hide it anymore. Like you either get it or you don't, and you never need to change. That person is out there for you. I'm crazy; my husband probably thinks I'm a nut sometimes. But thank God I found somebody who can deal with my nutty shit. And vice versa. And you just have to find someone and they are out there, you don't have to compromise."
Being monogamous is a decision, and infidelity is an excuse:
"It's not just men; it's women! Monogamy is a decision that you make, like not drinking and driving. That, to me, is what it is because, as women, we can keep two if we wanted to. I do think that we are more evolved; we're more mature. Our emotions do stop us from doing certain things, but it's not impossible, and men saying, 'Oh men aren't meant to be monogamous,' that's bullshit."
Her biggest career mistake was not trusting her instincts
"I used to not really treasure my own opinion as much as I should've. I always thought that my manager would know better or my friends would know better, and nine times out of ten, my gut was always right. So that probably was my best mistake because now I live by my gut. Now if I'm not feeling it, I'm not doing it. I don't care what it is. It saves you from so much."
She is very self-aware:
"I think, especially now with social media, they're brainwashed. It's like a song that plays on the radio fifteen times a day—a song that you might not necessarily like, but you find yourself singing that song. When you're on social media, and all of these ideas of what beauty is are coming across the screen and they all look alike, then I think some people who are not as strong in themselves can be brainwashed into thinking this is the new crop of women, instead of standing up and saying I need my woman to be an individual and celebrate her beauty in a certain way. But that's just the day and age that we're in unfortunately, and I think a lot of men don't know what they're looking for, just like a lot of women don't know what they're looking for. Social media plays a part in what you're supposed to be or supposed to have.
She's no longer out to prove anything to anybody:
"In my 20s, it was more about proving things. I need to get this done and I'm going to do this on my own and I don't need your help—you know, trying to make things happen and going towards a goal of this is what I need to be. I don't even think I thought about being a wife or mother, it was more like this is what I need to do in my business. And now that I'm older, I see things that are bigger than me and, as a woman, I never want to not work, but I also want to have a life. It's very important to me to have lived and breathed and have fun with my husband and my family and friends. That's really important to me."
Having a supportive partner helps her to have balance:
"It's hard, but also, at the same time, I have somebody who is supportive and also I live on the other side of the world now. It took me probably two years to be like this is who I am right now at this part of my life and in this world. But I made the decision and I live with it. I love being [in London]. I think it helps me to have a life."
She's finally comfortable with who she is:
"I'm pretty comfortable in who I am. I don't feel like I have to make excuses for myself. I think I used to, in the past, have to try to explain why I did this, but I don't feel like that, so I think that is good. I second-guessed myself a lot when I was younger, and just being in the business, I went through it."
What she wants people to remember about her after she's gone:
"The older I get, now I want to be known as a good human, a good woman, and a good person. I want to be more than just about myself. I want to be seen as someone who cares about people and wants to help people."
Featured image by Karwai Tang/WireImage
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
I’m willing to bet that this is not the first time you’ve seen this couple. Dalen Spratt is a television producer, owner of a tailored men's suit line, and creator of Ghost Brothers: Haunted Houseguests, which is currently streaming on Destination America. Stacey Spratt is also a serial entrepreneur, focusing mostly on events and the nonprofit world, and she is the owner of two award-winning craft beer bars called Harlem Hops. But their accolades are not what united them.
The couple met years ago at their alma mater, Clark Atlanta University, when they were still working to create the life they have now, and if you had told them then that they’d eventually tie the knot, the pair probably would’ve laughed in your face.
Today, they’re new parents, flourishing in their careers, and each others’ “teammates.” When desiring love, Dalen recommends not looking to other couples for advice. And Stacey advises staying true to what you want. “Don’t put age or limitations on love and children. If God could do it for me, why can’t he do it for you?”
Here's How We Met.
How did you meet?
Dalen: We met in 2005 when she was advising the Greek sororities and fraternities in college. She was old as hell in college, and I was a young buck (laughs). Everybody had a crush on her, but I didn’t think much of it. Then, in 2007, we were in the same grad school class, but she still wasn’t trying to see me then either. I had to catch her five years ago; I was very patient.
Stacey: Yeah, everybody in our grad school class called him Young, Fresh to Death because he was always dressed in B-school (what CAU affectionately refers to as business major classes), and we’d just wear sweatpants (laughs).
So, I know Dalen was always attracted to you. But what about you? Did your attraction to him develop over time?
Stacey: So 2006-2008 – all the years went by. I don’t think we were really thinking about each other at all back then. Years later, I had an event in Dallas, and I booked him to be a speaker. Then, a few years ago, Dalen posted a photo of him on Instagram, and I slid in his DMs. I remembered him being so young and handsome, and I’m like, I should hook him up with my younger cousin. His response was: "If you’re not hooking me up with you, no thank you." But I still thought he was too young at the time, and he started pulling receipts. Taraji P. Henson was dating someone young at the time, Gabrielle Union–
Dalen: First of all, I didn’t do that. You did that.
Stacey: Okay, I did. I thought he was a cutie pie, but that age thing was on my mind!
"Dalen posted a photo of him on Instagram, and I slid in his DMs. I remembered him being so young and handsome, and I’m like, I should hook him up with my younger cousin. His response was: 'If you’re not hooking me up with you, no thank you.'"
Talk to me about the first date. How did he change your mind?
Stacey: Our first date was at Tin Lizzy's in Atlanta. During that time, he was living in Dallas, so it was long-distance. But he came into town, and we just had a good time. We talked a lot, which we still do. It wasn’t anything fantastic.
Dalen: Don’t downplay our first date.
Then, walk me through your courtship. How did you get to the next level? What was that conversation like?
Stacey: I think he knew at age 43 or 44 I wasn’t playing around. But also, I think it just naturally progressed.
Dalen: Yeah, it just happened naturally. And I’m going to be honest, I don’t think initially either one of us thought it would be as serious as it was. She thought I was too young and I wasn’t ready for marriage, kids, and all that. I think we both thought we were just hanging out. But after spending so much time together, a lot of stuff started happening. Like, she had to have surgery early on. It wasn’t just time together; it was intimate time. Next thing we know, we just never left each other. That’s why we still don’t have an anniversary date because we never really asked.
"It wasn't just time together; it was intimate time. Next thing we know, we just never left each other. That's why we still don't have an anniversary date because we never really asked."
What made you want to commit to each other?
Dalen: The moment I knew Stacey was for me was from a phone call. I don’t really like talking on the phone, and I can be really blunt sometimes. But we were talking, and I said, ‘I don’t really feel like talking anymore.’ And she was just like, okay, and hung up. I wasn’t trying to be rude, and she understood that. It sounds bad, but that’s how I knew she just got me. I felt like she could get my random awkward moments, and she does to this day.
Stacey: For me, I liked him as a person. Even when times get rough and tough, I could still like him as a human. He is my best friend. We have time. We laugh until we cry, and it’s just always like that. Even when we get pissed at each other, something happens, and we fix it. Also, how he treats his mother. That’s a momma’s boy, but I’m a daddy’s girl – so I get it. I know how I want to be treated, and I see how he is with her and that’s beautiful.
What are some important lessons you’ve learned about yourself through loving your partner in this relationship?
Dalen: I grew up an only child and she grew up with siblings. So, when you have someone who is used to doing things by themselves, there is definitely a learning curve when you get into a serious relationship. It’s funny now, but it was definitely a process.
Stacey: I agree – definitely the only child thing. There’s times I look at him like, did you ever live with anyone else? That comes from being momma's baby, too. I have to say, my “mother-in-love” spoiled him. But also with Axel (their daughter), that brings another level of patience.
Photo by Paras Griffin/Getty Images
What was the biggest challenge that you had to overcome together?
Dalen: We’ve gone through a lot within the years we’ve been together. We suffered two miscarriages – I’d say that’s the biggest.
Stacey: Having those miscarriages and trying to understand what’s next and what our options are was a lot. I had two myomectomies (fibroid surgeries), and he supported me through that time. Also, still, it was on my mind that he’s eight years younger than me. I was wondering if I can’t carry [a child] what that looks like for us. We had very real conversations pretty early in our relationship.
"Having those miscarriages and trying to understand what’s next and what our options are was a lot. I had two myomectomies (fibroid surgeries), and he supported me through that time. Also, still, it was on my mind that he’s eight years younger than me."
What do you fight the most about?
Dalen: Nagging. Stacey nags; she’s a complainer. She’s that momma that will look in a room and just hunt for something to complain about. Like, I’m worried for Axel when she's in high school.
Stacey: It’s because I like things to be in place. He leaves stuff all over the place. I can tell where he’s been in the house because something is left around. So he says I’m nagging – but it’s like, just get your stuff.
What are your love languages?
Dalen: Stacey is gifts all day.
Dalen: We’ve talked about this. xoNecole is about to cause problems in our home (laughs).
Stacey: Obviously I love you. *thinks again* It’s words of affirmation.
Dalen: That’s it.
What’s your favorite thing about each other?
Dalen: I’ve always respected her business-mindedness. That may sound superficial, but it’s not because I’ve never been with someone who thinks like me. It’s one of my most treasured things about her. I remember one day, I was just running through ideas with her, and each time Stacey had a suggestion on how I could make it better. It’s just very comforting. She takes whatever I’m doing and elevates it – including me.
Stacey: I love Dalen’s hustle and creativity. He’s been on multiple shows, and he continues to create, produce, and reinvent himself and the product he’s putting out. I love that we can create together and bounce things off each other. Even though we may be in different arenas, there’s nothing he can’t offer me great advice about. I love that drive.
Finally, how did you know it was love?
Dalen: Well – she said it – first. (laughs)
Stacey: And he looked at me and smiled! He didn’t say it back. We were on a trip, out of the country.
Dalen: We were arguing when she said it, and she just threw it out.
Stacey: But we continue to do that. We’ve spent holidays and everything outside of the country.
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The Scorpio man and Pisces woman form a relationship that is heartfelt, sincere, and not for the weak. There is an immediate connection and familiarity between these two, being that they are both water signs and are both ruled by their emotions. They are on a similar playing field in life, yet they go about their desires in love in a very different way.
Scorpio Man And Pisces Woman Love Compatibility
Ultimately, a partnership being formed between the two is an intimate and emotionally transformative one, and this is a relationship they both never forget. Things can get messy, but if they are willing to do the work within, then the love can also be pretty amazing for them as well. They are all in or nothing when it comes to partnerships, and they learn a lot about true commitment and vulnerability through this pairing.
What attracts a Scorpio man to a Pisces woman?
The Scorpio man is attracted to the Pisces woman's mysterious aura and emotional demeanor. The Pisces woman is attracted to the same things as the Scorpio man. See, these two are more similar than most signs of the zodiac, and they can intuitively feel this about each other right away. Pisces and Scorpio often share similar interests and have a lot of opportunities to meet each other because they like to do the same things and are often in the same places. These are two creative and artistic souls, and there is something that they both find inspiring about each other right away.
The connection and synergy of a Pisces and Scorpio couple is undeniable, and there is a strong force in life that often brings these two together. The Pisces woman can feel that there is more to the surface than the Scorpio man presents right away, and this is instantly intriguing to her, being that she rules the 12th house, which is where everything is hidden in life. The Pisces woman has secrets of her own, and she sees the Scorpio man as someone who can resonate with how she feels and dive deeper into the relationship together.
What is the relationship like between a Pisces woman and a Scorpio man?
The relationship between the Pisces woman and the Scorpio man is emotional. Emotions run very high in this relationship, which is often a good thing, but can turn into something entirely different very quickly as well. The Pisces woman and Scorpio man often get into a relationship together quickly. They are not earth signs that take their time developing a relationship; they are water signs that base their decisions on their emotions and go with the flow of the currents here.
So when they meet and they feel that instant connection with each other, they often jump into a pairing with one another right away.
This couple will enjoy spending time together and will feel like they are deeply understood in the relationship. There is a comfort here that is truly profound, and if anything, they are best friends first and foremost. However, the Pisces woman and Scorpio man tend to let their emotions overwhelm them and can turn little things into something bigger. Arguments or disagreements in this relationship can get messy, and they are both somewhat emotionally impulsive. Neither will forgive and forget easily as well, so reaching a point of forgiveness or harmony after something challenging occurs may never happen.
This relationship works best if both parties have already experienced a long-term commitment or have learned their lessons in love and evolved. The longevity of the relationship will depend on how they begin it. However, the love they have for one another is undeniable.
What is the sex like between a Scorpio man and a Pisces woman?
The sex life between the Pisces woman and Scorpio man is transcendent. They tend to have no issues in the bedroom, and that instant connection they feel when they meet often has an underlying energy of sexual compatibility as well. This isn’t the type of couple to wait a long time to explore each other in the bedroom, and they form a deep intensity here right away. They are looking to connect on many different levels, and they feel enough compatibility in the connection to do so.
The Pisces woman is willing to explore in the bedroom, and the Scorpio man is ready for anything. This is a couple who will entertain role-play, bondage, etc., and there are a few limitations to what they are both interested in. With the Pisces woman providing a safe space to many, the Scorpio man feels comfortable opening up in many different ways, the main one including behind closed doors and in the bedroom. They are emotional at their core, however, and will still want a level of intimacy with each other that goes deeper than just sex, so although their sex life is great, there is more they both want at the end of the day.
What makes a relationship between a Pisces woman and a Scorpio man work?
What makes the relationship work between these two water signs, is that they both understand each other deeply. They don’t have to explain themselves or work too hard on getting to know each other because it’s almost instant that they do. They speak the same language, in other words, and they can learn a lot from each other in the process. They are more open with each other, and their more reclusive demeanor changes in the presence of one another. This is a couple that likes to spend time together doing things that each other has an interest in.
At the end of the day, these are just two people who want to love and be loved, and they can give each other that.
The Pisces woman helps the Scorpio man open up more, go with the flow, and trust the universe. The Scorpio man helps the Pisces woman step into her power, stick up for herself more, and live life fully. There is something creative and eye-opening about this pairing, and they create their own world together. Trust is everything between the both of them and once they have that, they lay the foundation for the relationship to grow and thrive.
What may cause a Scorpio man and a Pisces woman to break up?
The thing about a water sign relationship is that things can get messy. Emotions are always running high, and if they are not on the same page, this can lead to the energy of the relationship being all over the place. The Pisces woman is loyal, attentive, and compassionate, but she is also a free spirit who likes her space and freedom. The Scorpio man, on the other hand, craves deep intimacy and partnership and may have a hard time trusting the Pisces woman, and that trust needs to be had in a relationship.
Scorpio may find Pisces to be too wishy-washy for his liking, although Pisces just sees herself as someone open-minded and flexible and doesn't understand why the Scorpio man can’t be a little more like that as well.
This relationship can fall apart due to things becoming overwhelming too quickly. They tend to get into the relationship quickly and break up just as fast as well. If they can act on mental clarity as much as they do their emotions, then this can create a more solid ground for the relationship to grow and continue to grow upon. You would think that being with someone who is the same element as you is a recipe for success in a relationship, but two of the same things can be too much at the end of the day.
Summary: Is a Scorpio man and a Pisces woman compatible?
Ultimately, this is a relationship with high compatibility, and depending on the two people at hand, it will determine how things unfold here. They have the tools needed to form a sincere, loving, and compassionate relationship but will have to confront each other's differences with the same attitude to work. Once the first challenge or conflict arises in the relationship, how they handle it afterward will determine if the relationship is going to work out or not.
These two are perfect when things are going well, but can be dramatic when they are not. The Pisces woman and Scorpio man can’t get enough of each other at the end of the day, and this will indeed be a relationship that they will never forget.
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