
I Documented My Egg Freezing Process From Start To Finish & This Is What It's Really Like

“Get an education, start your career, travel the world, and don’t think about marriage until you’re at least 30 years old,” is the advice a play aunt gave me when I was 16 years old. As a girl growing up in the South, I certainly didn’t hear that type of advice every day. However, having known at an early age that there were certain milestones I wanted to achieve before starting a family, her advice resonated with me.
Tending to be Type A, I wasted no time making plans to obtain an education, a career, financial stability, and a well-used passport. And I executed each of these plans. What I did not plan for is turning 30 and not being at a stage in my life where children were even a consideration in the near future. This is when I first started thinking about freezing my eggs.
But as the old saying goes, life happened and I didn’t follow through. Fast-forward to a few months shy of my 34th birthday, I joked to my friend, “I’ll be 35 next year, I don’t have time for that.” This statement stopped me in my tracks. Although I was well aware of my age (and proud of it), somehow verbalizing I’d be 35 soon felt eerily different.
At 33, I could still claim my early 30s, but 35 is when everything changes. It’s the “magic number” where the “average woman’s” fertility begins to decline and she is considered to be at an advanced maternal age aka “geriatric.” Though I do not believe motherhood is solely biological (other options include adoption, fostering, and egg donation), I wanted to do what I could to conserve this option. Thus, my deep dive into the world of egg freezing commenced.
While researching the egg-freezing process, I searched for stories from women who had gone through the process. Notably, there weren’t many stories from Black women documenting their journeys. This could be for a number of reasons: lack of access and resources, cultural and/or religious beliefs, and the social stigma associated with egg-freezing.
Whatever the reason, I respect it, but I know from personal experience and statistical data that there were many other Black women who’d walked a similar path to mine and who were likely evaluating this option, and that created a desire in me to share my journey. The decision to do so, however, did not come without my own internal struggle on whether I wanted to share this deeply personal journey.
What is Egg Freezing?
Everyone’s experience is different but the process is generally the same. Essentially, you take hormone injections over the course of 10-14 days to help multiple eggs develop at the same time. At the end of the cycle, you undergo a surgical procedure to retrieve the eggs. The eggs that mature (all aren’t guaranteed to mature) are then frozen. Going through the process isn’t a guarantee of future fertility, but it increases your chances. And to answer the question I got often, “Can you get pregnant naturally if you freeze your eggs?” -- yes. You will still have eggs and may never have to use your frozen ones.
The process is expensive -- one cycle can cost between $10,000 and $20,000, and some women have to go through multiple cycles. There is also an annual storage fee (mine is $600). I’d begun saving for the process, but a couple of months into me saving, my employer announced it was adding fertility benefits *inserts happy dance.* So, I only had to pay my deductible and for lab work. But I acknowledge my privilege in being able to save for the procedure. If you are considering freezing your eggs, check with your benefits department.
Pre-Cycle Preparation
I scheduled a consultation with the clinic to discuss the process. My provider recommended I begin taking vitamins and supplements to help with egg quality. Next, I had blood work done to test, among other things, my AMH levels -- which show approximately how many eggs you have -- and an ultrasound to count my follicles (our egg carriers). My AMH levels revealed that my ovarian reserve was slightly lower than average for my age, and I might have to go through 2-3 cycles to harvest the number of eggs necessary to possibly achieve the number of children I want. This information was devastating.
I left upset with myself for not going through the process sooner. I eventually came back to my life’s conviction that God is in control and what’s meant to be will be. Moving forward, I was prescribed birth control pills and the medications for the cycle. I then had a meeting with my IVF coordinator (egg freezing is the same as IVF, minus fertilization) to go over prepping and administering the injections. This was helpful because I was overwhelmed when I saw the amount of medicine and realized I had to mix some of it.
Day 1 of the Egg Freezing Process:
I returned to the clinic for bloodwork and an ultrasound to make sure nothing major had changed and my estrogen levels were desirable. After being cleared to start, I gave myself two injections in the morning while I was at work. Thankfully, one of my work friends who is knowledgeable about the procedure was there to assist because, although I’m not afraid of needles (I have tattoos), I stalled when it was time to give myself the first injection.
One of the medications burned while being injected but the other one was fine. Moving forward, I always started with the worst injection. That night, with my best friend, a nurse practitioner, on video chat, I gave myself the two evening injections. I also took antibiotics twice daily.
Courtesy of Cynthia Lee
Courtesy of Cynthia Lee
Days 2 and 3:
The routine on the second and third days looked like two injections in the morning and two injections in the evening. On day three, I realized I was going to run out of one of the medications over the weekend, so I called the pharmacy and had some overnighted.
Tip: Pay attention to your dosage and how much medicine you have left so you won’t run out and not be able to get the medicine in time for your next injection, as each is essential for optimum results.
Courtesy of Cynthia Lee
Day 4:
I continued with injections and returned to the clinic for an ultrasound and bloodwork. This was to see how my body was reacting to the injections and to count and measure my follicles. That evening my IVF coordinator informed me that I was responding well!
At this point, outside of soreness at the injection sites, I didn’t have any of the symptoms I’d read about (emotional breakdowns, acne, weight gain, cramping, bloating, exhaustion).
Courtesy of Cynthia Lee
Days 5 and 6:
Pretty much the same routine on the fifth and sixth days. On day five, I went on a turnaround trip so I had to take my medicine and supplies with me so I wouldn’t miss my evening injections. On day six, I added an additional injection at noon (up to five injections now). I felt a little dizzy and nauseous, but it passed.
At this point, I was searching for new places to inject myself. I was also starting to get tired of the routine and was ready to be finished. My hat goes off to those who have to take daily injections indefinitely!
Courtesy of Cynthia Lee
Days 7 and 8:
Same routine, with another clinic visit on day seven. I spilled one of the injections because I didn’t have the needle on tightly, but because I was responding well, my coordinator told me to not worry about it. I was more tired than usual and struggled to stay awake and focused throughout the day. I was also unusually thirsty.
Courtesy of Cynthia Lee
Courtesy of Cynthia Lee
Day 9:
I returned to the clinic for another round of ultrasound and bloodwork. The results showed that my eggs were mature enough for me to take the trigger injection! So, I took my routine injections and the trigger injection. This trigger injection signals to the eggs to finish maturing because it’s time for them to be released, and it must be taken exactly 36 hours prior to retrieval. I started having some cramps.
Courtesy of Cynthia Lee
Courtesy of Cynthia Lee
Day 10:
I returned to the clinic for bloodwork only and it showed that the trigger shot worked, so no more injections! I was a zombie at this point and the cramps continued.
Day 11: The Egg Retrieval
Courtesy of Cynthia Lee
Retrieval day! I woke up anxious about the number of eggs that would be mature enough to freeze. The procedure went fine. I was under anesthesia, so I don’t remember it. My best friend picked me up (because just like after any procedure, you can’t drive). Later that day I learned the number of eggs that were frozen, which was slightly less than the number of eggs retrieved.
All things considered, I was pleased, but I may do another cycle down the road.
The recovery wasn’t bad for me. I had some pain, discomfort, cramps, and a ton of bloating for a couple of days after.
Closing Thoughts
Although I hope to never have to rely on my frozen eggs, I am happy to have them if I need them. I highly recommend women look into egg freezing as early as possible, if possible. If nothing else, I recommend women take an AMH test to learn about their personal reproductive health.
I didn’t have this option because only one clinic in my area was covered by my insurance, but I recommend you “shop around” for a doctor with whom you feel comfortable - one who is willing to carefully address your questions and concerns. Keep in mind, it is a huge time commitment and requires multiple clinic visits, so choose a nearby clinic if you can.
I feel incredibly blessed to have loved ones who regularly checked on me throughout the process to see how things were going, so make sure to reach out to those you trust before you begin to ensure you have your support system in place.
Don’t be discouraged if some don’t understand your decision to go through the process, as it is a personal decision and you owe no one an explanation.
Lastly, this experience has deepened my respect and empathy for all women who struggle with fertility, and I send love to all.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image courtesy of Cynthia Lee
- Tai Beauchamp On Her Decision To Freeze Her Eggs At Age 35 ›
- What No One Tells You About Freezing Your Eggs ›
- More Black Women Are Deciding To Freeze Their Eggs For The Same Reason As Angela Rye ›
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
6 Tabletop Sex Positions That'll Unlock You & Bae's Most Primal Desires
Something I will never tire of is finding new ways to bring new layers to intimacy. A wall you use as momentum, a bathroom sink to help you keep your balance as he worships you on his knees, a shower that is usually for cleansing but evolves into a sacred ritual of shared intimacy.
My favorite kind of sex is the kind of sex that prioritizes pleasure and connection. So, technically and thankfully, I can say most of my sex life has been quite pleasurable throughout the years. But the memorable encounters for sure take the cake. One such encounter actually took place on a kitchen counter, and with it unleashed inhibitions in ways I never anticipated while unlocking levels to top-tier sex. And that, that involved a kitchen counter.
Why Kitchen Counter Sex Just Hits Different
What is it about having your hips pressed into the edge of a kitchen counter that lets out something so primal in you? The cool-to-the-touch feel of the countertop against exposed skin as you rise to meet him again and again. The urgency in every movement. The playfulness of repurposing an everyday space for something far more erotic. If you’re looking to bring that energy into your own sex life, keep reading for positions and tips to explore.
1. The Bounce House
They don’t call it Bounce House for nothing. In this position, the penetrating partner lies flat on their back on a sturdy table or counter while the receiving partner straddles them, knees bent and facing away. With their hands gripping the edge of the surface for support, the receiving partner slides or bounces at their own pace, owning the rhythm, the motion, and the view.
According to sex therapist Michael Aaron, Ph.D., who spoke with Women’s Health, the receiving partner placing their legs between their partner’s creates a tighter sensation, while staying fully astride allows for more bounce and range of motion. Either way, this one puts the receiver in full control, and you know we love a good woman on top position. Pleasure and power? Say less.
2. The Bicycle
Well, you know what they say about riding a bike. In the case of this table top position, it's the receiving partner who is the rider...but not in the way you think. While lying back on a sturdy surface or a table, the receiver will bring their knees toward their chest, bending them as if in a cycling motion. The penetrating partner stands at the edge of the surface, grabbing the receiver's ankles, and guides themselves inside, slowly so as to savor the moment. This angle puts everything on display for the penetrating partner while allowing for deep, connected thrusting for the receiver.
To take things up a notch , the receiving partner can touch themselves or flex their thighs to control the depth or the rhythm. Because, who says only one person gets to have control?
3. Counter Offer
How could we be at the table and not use it to eat? Enter: Counter Offer. In this oral-focused sex position, the receiving partner perches on the edge of a counter or table, lying back or sitting upright with legs parted or bent for comfort. The penetrating partner kneels or stands between their thighs, depending on the setup and the kind of attention they’re ready to give. No doubt, this one’s all about access and intention.
With the vulva front and center, the height makes it easier to maintain eye contact, use hands freely for things like breast play or incorporating toys, and take their time with every moan-inducing taste. And that’s on five, six, seven, ATE.
4. Standing Doggy
Standing Doggy is what happens when a classic like doggy style gets an upgrade. Instead of being on all fours on a bed, the receiving partner bends over a hard surface like a table or counter, keeping their hips aligned at its edge. The penetrating partner stands behind and enters from the back, using the angle to go deeper and create a strong, steady rhythm. This one offers maximum control and visual appeal, especially if the penetrating partner reaches around for a little extra clitoral stimulation throughout thrusting.
This angle can get intense quickly, so bonus points if the receiving partner engages their pelvic floor muscles or shifts their weight to adjust how the pressure hits, especially if your goal is to hit that G-spot sweet spot.
5. Top Shelf
Men's Healthcalls this one "Yourself on the Shelf," but we like to call it "Top Shelf" because it's giving full view, full grip, and climax potential that's hard to top. The receiving partner sits on the edge of a sturdy table or counter while the penetrating partner stands in front of them and slowly slides in, thrusting while keeping them in position. From there, legs can wrap around their waist, arms can encircle their back, and the closeness at peak ecstasy? Chef's kiss.
If you have the core strength, add lifting to the menu for the final strokes leading to orgasm. Otherwise, allow the surface to the heavy lifting and enjoy the pleasure.
6. The Thumper
What better way to remind yourself that you're both the snack and the entrée than with a little tableside service courtesy of The Thumper? This position has the receiving partner kneeling on a sturdy table or counter (keyword: sturdy), hands gripping the edge or braced in front for support. The penetrating partner can then either kneel behind them (if there's room for two), or stay anchored on the ground with both feet planted on the floor (similar to the previously mentioned Standing Doggy). It all depends on the mood.
Kneeling on the table offers just the right amount of leverage for deep, steady strokes. The receiving partner can play with tightness by either keeping their knees closer together for a snug grip, or open their knees wider to invite more access, depth, and stretch. The Thumper is versatile that way, and the most important thing? The receiver gets to be the main course. Yum.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shutterstock