So, Here Are Some Teas That Will Make Your Sex Life So Much Better
Even though we’re officially exiting one season (winter) and entering another (spring), that doesn’t mean that your tea game has to slow down. Aside from the fact that springtime tends to still have some pretty chilly nights, there is nothing like a tall glass of herbal iced tea that’s been sweetened with honey and a bit of fresh fruit on the days when it’s warmer outdoors.
And while we’re on the topic of teas, why not consume some that will make things hotter in the bedroom? Yep, there are certain ones out here (12 in this article) that have some strong data to support the fact that they can do wonders for your libido — on a few different levels.
So, after reading this, commit to picking up some loose-leaf tea (oftentimes it’s best). Boil for 20 minutes, let it cool, put it in a mason jar and let it steep for 48 hours (with your favorite sweetener). Then add some ice and take it all in. You’ll have an all-natural concoction that will get you maximum herb intake and quite possibly some pretty intense orgasms too (whew-whee!).
1. Ashwagandha Tea
If there’s one artist who tickles me as much as he low-key terrifies me when it comes to the random ish that comes out of his mouth, it’s Kevin Gates. On the laughing tip, I literally cried as I was reading the comments under this particular Twitter post because it’s clear that either he doesn’t know how to pronounce maca (maa·kuh) or ashwagandha (aash·wuh·gaan·duh) or he was really going out of his way to make the cadence work in this song. LOL. Anyway, he does help to prove the point that this herb is that one when it comes to boosting libido levels.
Since ashwagandha has a solid reputation for reducing stress and anxiety, improving athletic performance, and even making depression-related symptoms easier to bear, it would make perfect sense that it’s known for being an aphrodisiac too.
There are studies that support that it can be helpful when it comes to strengthening women’s orgasms, in part, by reducing vaginal dryness and discomfort during intercourse. Some studies reveal that it can help to increase testosterone levels in both men and women as well.
A word of caution on this one, though. If you’re diabetic, breastfeeding, have an overactive thyroid, or take sedatives, run this one by your physician first. As with just about any herb, ashwagandha can be potent and come with unwanted side effects for certain types of individuals.
2. Green Tea
Okay, so from what I’ve read and researched, on average, a cup of brewed coffee is gonna have somewhere around 96 mg of caffeine per cup while that same cup of green tea is gonna land at around 28 mg. So, if you’re someone who wants to ease off of caffeine a bit this year or you want a pick-me-up that doesn’t pack as big of a punch as coffee does, green tea will do it. Some other benefits include the fact that it’s loaded with antioxidants, it can help to improve your brain function, it fights off the free radicals that are in your system and it can help you to lose weight.
On the sex tip, aside from the fact that the caffeine that’s in it can give you a boost of energy on the days/nights when the mind is willing but the flesh is weak, green tea also can improve and increase blood circulation which results in longer erections for him and better orgasms for you.
3. Saffron Tea
The brief backstory on saffron is it’s a spice that comes from a flower. It’s said to have originated in Greece and is one of the most popular spices when it comes to cooking. It ain’t cheap, I’ll just tell you that now. Still, it’s got some benefits that are worth noting.
Saffron reduces body inflammation, helps with weight loss, is effective at minimizing PMS-related symptoms, helps to put you into a better mood, and is said to lower blood sugar levels and heart disease risks too.
The reason why the tea form of it made it onto this particular list is that some studies say that saffron is beneficial in naturally treating men who deal with erectile dysfunction (ED) while also improving the libido of women who take antidepressants.
4. Vanilla Tea
Vanilla tea is dope on a few different levels. It’s slightly sweet even without anything like sugar or honey in it. It contains quite a few antioxidants. It’s got a way of increasing your metabolism while decreasing your stress levels at the same time. It also contains properties that help to soothe your nervous system and improve your quality of sleep.
Since I already know that vanilla is an aphrodisiac scent, I’m not surprised at all that it’s also a libido booster in tea form. Some studies say that it helps to heal erectile dysfunction while increasing arousal. Others say that it can enhance a man’s sexual performance over time.
And again, since the scent of vanilla alone can increase arousal in men by almost 10 percent, that sounds like a solid enough reason to have a sip — or two.
5. Damiana Tea
One day, I’m gonna share my journey with Damiens. I’ve had three in my lifetime and whew, chile. Anyway, when it comes to damiana tea, one of the things that it’s most known for is improving the quality of sex lives.
As a shrub that is quite popular in traditional Mexican medicine, damiana has been used for everything from bronchitis and fevers to fungal infections, anemia, and gastrointestinal issues.
What makes it a win in the sexual pleasure department is it contains a powerful amount of flavonoids (compounds that are found in fruits and vegetables) that can intensify your natural sex hormones. The stronger your hormones are, honey…I’m pretty sure that you already know the rest.
6. Cinnamon Tea
I can’t believe that it’s (almost) been four years since I’ve talked about how applying cinnamon essential oil on your partner’s genitalia can make for a really good time (hey, don’t knock it until you tried it; I talk about all-a-dat right here).
As far as cinnamon in tea form goes, it’s another one that’s filled with antioxidants. Cinnamon tea also helps to lower inflammation and blood sugar levels, contains powerful antibacterial and antifungal properties (which is great when it comes to treating tooth decay) and it can make period cramps less painful. As a serious bonus, it also helps to fight certain HIV-related strains (the more you know).
And what makes it great for your libido? For one thing, the lower your blood sugar levels are, the less stressed you’ll feel and the less constricted your blood flow will be; this means longer and more intense orgasms. Also, because cinnamon is spicy, the turn-up of heat in your body can also heighten your arousal levels.
7. Maca Tea
If you clicked on that Twitter link, you heard Kevin (attempt to) combine maca with ashwagandha — and honestly, that’s one hell of a combination, y’all. That’s because maca is well-known for being an aphrodisiac too.
Before getting into how/why, some other benefits of this herb are it helps to keep free radicals out of your system, improves your memory, and is also pretty good at reducing symptoms that are directly associated with menopause.
As far as coitus goes, it’s got all kinds of ways to improve it. Maca has been proven to increase a man’s sex drive, make sex more pleasant for postmenopausal women, improve a man’s sperm quality and put you and your partner into a better mood. So, if you’ve never had a good reason to try maca before, now you’ve got a few of ‘em.
8. Ginger Tea
Ginger is another popular spice that comes with some strong medicinal properties. That’s why a lot of people use it to treat motion sickness, keep their blood pressure in check, help keep cancer cells at bay, and to reduce bodily inflammation.
Since ginger is also seen as being a natural stimulant that increases blood circulation while reducing oxidative stress, it’s just one more tea that can help your sex life out. Oh, and if you’re trying to get pregnant, that’s another reason to add it to your diet. That’s because the properties of ginger can improve the quality of sperm while also strengthening ovarian follicles. How dope is that?
9. Rose Tea
If you’ve always wondered what rose tea is made from, you can literally create it yourself by steeping fresh rose petals. As far as the reasons why it can be good for your health, rose tea is high in vitamins C and E, it contains properties that help to lower your blood pressure, the polyphenols in it can help to reduce pain and discomfort, it can help to keep your skin radiant and your hair healthy and it’s a great immunity booster.
And why would your sex life appreciate it so much? Rosewater, period, helps to decrease stress and increase blood flow. The calmer you are and the more blood that’s flowing to your genital regions, the better your sexual experiences can be!
10. Spearmint Tea
Off the rip, one of the things that I like about any mint tea is it can help to make my breath smell fresher. When it comes to spearmint specifically, it gets applause for also treating motion sickness and nausea, lowering blood pressure levels and even improving your memory. Some other things worth noting are the fact that spearmint tea helps to fight bacterial infections and decrease the pain that’s related to arthritis.
Sex-wise, because spearmint tea is a stress reducer, it can also help you to feel calm and relaxed. And, since it also is known to be a hormone balancer, it can make getting in the mood easier when you’re PMS’ing or you’re going through menopause.
11. Ginseng Tea
If there’s any herb on this list that you probably already knew was good for your libido, ginseng would have to be it. We’ll get to why in just a moment. For now, let’s tackle some other reasons why you should consume it more (or more often).
Ginseng helps to do everything from reducing fatigue and fighting inflammation to improving brain function and strengthening your immune system. In fact, if you feel a cold coming on, a few cups of ginseng, very early on, can help to knock it right on out.
Your sex life will appreciate ginseng because it’s another tea that helps to treat erectile dysfunction by reducing oxidative stress that may be lurking around in a man’s blood vessels (especially in the ones down below). Ginseng is also a winner because it can give women more energy to even want to have sex. Definitely something to keep in mind on the days after work when you want some, but you need a pick-me-up to get the engines started (if you know what I mean).
12. Horny Goat Weed Tea
I mean, for real, though, anything that has the word “horny” in it must work…at least a lil’ bit, right? Believe it or not, horny goat weed (also known as Epimedium) is popular in the traditional Chinese medicine world and has been linked to helping people who deal with asthma, osteoporosis, PMS and Alzheimer’s, and Parkinson’s Diseases.
BY FAR (and yes, I am yelling it), what it’s best known for is getting bedrooms in check. It’s got a great reputation for naturally treating ED (which is why it has the nickname “natural Viagra”). It contains phytoestrogens which is a plant-based form of estrogen (which can help with natural vaginal lubrication, for starters). It can also balance out your cortisol levels (your natural stress hormone) and strengthen your libido. So, if feeling horny is what you want to do, horny goat weed can make that happen — and then some, chile.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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