So, Here's What Your Diet Says About Your Sex Life
The fact that food provides the fuel that our body needs in order to even have sex, that honestly should be enough of a reason to care about the kinds of food that we put into our bodies…right? But when you add to that the fact that foods also play a significant role in balancing our hormones, keeping our moods in check and boosting our libido, you can probably see why I thought it would be a good idea to share what you can eat to make your sex life better. But that's not all. If you're actually feeling more lethargic than usual, you're not in the mood to get some or your sex drive seems lower than it's been in the past, it could be because you're eating some things that work against your sex drive rather than for it.
While this list doesn't cover every food on the planet that is either "for" or "against" you having a happy and consistent sex life, if you pay attention to the following 12 foods—including why some are good for you and some aren't—it can make your next run to the grocery store the kind that can help to either make your sex life even better or to get it back on track.
6 Foods That Improve Your Sex Life
1. Salmon
Salmon is a fish that is high in vitamins A, B, D, potassium, selenium, calcium and antioxidants—all of which are needed in order to stay healthy and strong. But what really makes it a top food for maintaining your libido is it's a fish that is high in omega-3 fatty acids; they work to remove plaque build-up in your arteries which can increase the blood flow through your system, making it easier for blood to rush to your genitalia and intensify your orgasms as a direct result.
2. Citrus Fruits
If you like to snack on slices of an orange or a grapefruit that's been cut in half, that's awesome because, whenever you eat citrus fruit, it's like consuming a multi-vitamin per serving. Nutrient-wise, citrus fruits have phosphorus, magnesium, copper, potassium, folate, fiber, antioxidants and several B-vitamins in them.
However, the reason why citrus fruits make this list, specifically, is because they (especially oranges) also contain the phytonutrient hesperidin which increases blood flow through your system. Also, thanks to the fructose (fruit sugar) that citrus fruit has, it can provide a boost of energy, not to mention the fact that the Vitamin C that's in it has the ability to help to improve the sperm quality in your partner.
3. Whole Grains
I could do an entire article on how and why whole grains should be a part of our daily diet. Specifically, as it relates to sex, whole grains can help to raise testosterone levels in a man who may have a low amount of it. Whole grains can also help to promote healthy digestion which can remove toxins and keep your hormone levels balanced. Plus, if you opt for foods that are 100 percent whole grains (like bread that says it's made out of that on the package), you'll be getting a good amount of zinc; having zinc in your system is one of the best things you could have when it comes to maintaining a good and healthy libido.
4. Black-Eyed Peas
Fiber. Folate. Copper. Magnesium. Zinc. Iron. These are just some of the nutrients that black-eyed peas have in them. Well you look at them from a health perspective, it's no wonder why so many folks eat them as a symbol of good luck at the turn of every new year! Actually, it's the folate that's in them that make black-eyed peas one of the best foods that you could add to your diet, if you're looking to take your libido up a few notches. For one thing, folate can help to reduce any depression-related symptoms (if feeling low is keeping you out of the mood). Another benefit is, since folate is also able to regulate the production of histamine in your system—and histamine is a chemical that is naturally released during orgasms—you can probably see how a serving of black-eyed peas could very well help to take your climaxes to the next level!
5. Basil
Believe it or not, the scent of basil alone is enough to get your juices down there flowing. Aside from its fragrance being able to arouse you, basil also has antioxidants, contains anti-inflammatory properties, is able to strengthen your immune system, reduce stress levels and also help to keep your blood vessels in tip-top shape too.
As if that's not enough to keep you and your partner in great sexual shape, basil can also increase blood circulation, boost fertility levels and help your sex drive to last longer as well.
6. Sweet Potatoes
Shutterstock
Sweet potatoes are actually considered to be a perfect food. They are high in vitamins A, C and E, magnesium, choline (which reduces body inflammation) and antimicrobial properties. Thanks to the high amount of Vitamin E that's in them, they can help to keep you in the mood while the magnesium that's in them can help to keep your stress levels at bay. Vitamin A is great at keeping your fertility health in check. Not only that, but all potatoes have potassium in them; potassium also elevates your moods and keeps your blood flowing throughout your system. The better your blood circulation is, the more intense and satisfying your orgasms will be.
6 Foods That Can Wreck Your Sex Life
1. Processed Foods
What is exactly wrong with processed foods? Let me count the ways. More times than not, they are loaded with sugar, filled with preservatives, stripped of fiber, plus they raise your sodium levels, wreck your sleep patterns, can put your moods on a real roller coaster ride and are full of empty calories and very little nutrients—none of these things sound like a boost for your libido, do they? One example of how many processed foods are the enemy of your sex drive is when whole wheat flour is turned into white, it removes 75 percent of the zinc that's in it. Zinc helps to increase arousal in both men and women and can maintain an erection in men. So, if you want to have a strong and consistent sex life, try and avoid eating a ton of food that requires you going through a drive-thru to get it or you need five minutes to try and pronounce the ingredients on the back of its label.
2. Edamame
Soy isn't good for us. That's a full on, full stop sentence. You can click here to read a study on how soy can totally tank your partner's libido (thanks-but-no-thanks to the phytoestrogens that soy contains).
Soy also has isoflavones which also mimics estrogen in your system. Too much estrogen not only increases your breast cancer risk, it can lead to bloating, nausea, thyroid dysfunction, extreme fatigue and a sluggish sex drive. And since edamame is quite high in isoflavones, you can see why I placed it on the no-no side of this food list.
3. “Edible Skin” Produce
Strawberries. Blueberries. Cherries. Tomatoes. Zucchini. Peaches. Apples. All of these are kinds of produce that have the type of skin that you can eat. Especially when it comes to the fiber than they all contain, eating the skin can actually be good for you. The reason why they are on the bad list, though, is they oftentimes contain some pretty off-the-charts levels of estrogen-mimicking pesticides in order to keep them on the produce aisles for longer. As I've already shared, too much estrogen isn't good for you or your partner, as far as your sex drive goes. Does this mean avoid these edible skin foods altogether? Of course not. But it's wiser to look for organic produce. Better yet, pick some up from a farmer's market or grow some of these "edible skin" foods in your own backyard. That will ensure that you're getting less of those nasty pesticides into your system.
4. Coffee
Coffee—and by coffee, I'm more specifically speaking of caffeine—is a bit of a wild card; not just when it comes to overall health benefits but what it can (and can't) do to your sex drive as well. While, on one hand, coffee can help to protect your heart, actually lower your risk of getting type 2 diabetes (so long as you're not adding a ton of sugar or creamer), it can also increase the flow of blood to your genitalia while also reducing the risk of erectile dysfunction in your partner. All of that is good stuff. The challenge is, if you take in too much caffeine, it can also cause your estrogen levels to spike (which, as you already know, can actually cause your sex drive to tank). Also, if you drink some of it within 1-2 hours of having sex, coffee can make you too anxious and jittery to fully enjoy it. Basically, when it comes to java, extreme moderation (no more than 1-2 cups a day) is key. Oh, and if you do want to consume coffee in a way that will help and not hurt your libido, I happened up on a "sex coffee" recipe that contains a few extra ingredients (like cinnamon and cocoa) that can do wonders for your libido. Again, if it's consumed in moderation.
5. Cruciferous Vegetables
It might seem odd that veggies like broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, kale and Brussels sprouts are on a list of foods that aren't exactly great for your sex life; still, hear me out for a sec and it'll make perfect sense.
While cruciferous vegetables are loaded with vitamins and minerals, consuming too many of them in one sitting can not only make you bloated and gassy (which can be a total turn-off to your partner, for obvious reasons), they can also cause semen, vaginal fluids and even sweat to lean towards the unpleasant-tasting side.
So, if broccoli or cabbage is your absolute fave, try and eat it on the days when you're not planning on having sex. Your body—and your partner's sense of smell—will be glad that you did.
6. Sugar
Sugar might taste great (clearly, being that sugar addiction is actually considered to be an epidemic in this country) but there are a billion reasons why too much of it really isn't good for us. Since we're focusing on sex drives, I'll just stick to that (for now). If a man consistently gets more than nine teaspoons a day and we take in more than six teaspoons a day, a consequence of that can be that could be testosterone and estrogen levels being all over the place, not to mention weight gain and a loss of muscle mass. One way to test if sugar is indeed infecting your sex life is to eat considerably less of it over the next seven days. If you notice that you've got more energy and a stronger desire to get it in—well, there you have it. More salads and less shakes might be all that you need to have a more fulfilling sex life. Enjoy, sis!
Join our xoTribe, an exclusive community dedicated to YOU and your stories and all things xoNecole. Be a part of a growing community of women from all over the world who come together to uplift, inspire, and inform each other on all things related to the glow up.
Featured image by Shutterstock
- I Tried It: Alkaline Water-Only Diet - xoNecole: Women's Interest ... ›
- Foods That Keep Your Vagina Smelling Right - xoNecole: Women's ... ›
- How to Taste Sweeter Down There - xoNecole: Women's Interest ... ›
- How To Make His Erection Last Longer - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- 27 Foods That Kill Your Sex Drive ›
- How the keto diet negatively affects your sex drive, according to the ... ›
- Here's how the keto diet really affects your sex drive - Insider ›
- Diet sex life: how your diet affects your sex life, says research ›
- Foods you're eating that could be killing your sex drive - Insider ›
- Can What You Eat Really Affect Your Sex Life? ›
- How to Boost Your Relationship and Sex Life with Healthy Eating ›
- How your diet affects your sex life | Fox News ›
- How Your Diet Kills Your Sex Life - Erection Problems | Men's Health ›
Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next October (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This Black Woman-Owned Creative Agency Shows Us The Art Of Rebranding
Rebranding is an intricate process and very important to the success of businesses that want to change. However, before a business owner makes this decision, they should determine whether it's a rebrand or an evolution.
That's where people like Lola Adewuya come in. Lola is the founder and CEO of The Brand Doula, a brand development studio with a multidisciplinary approach to branding, social media, marketing, and design.
While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
Feature image courtesy
The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image courtesy
The Black Girl's Guide To St. Maarten, An Island-Hopping Paradise
Having explored the Caribbean extensively, choosing a favorite island is hard. Each island has its own unique charm, but St. Maarten stands out for a few reasons. Travelers can explore two countries on one trip: the southern side, St. Maarten, is part of the Netherlands, while the northern side, St. Martin, is French.
With 37 beaches, charming French bakeries, and Dutch wine and cheese shops, the island is great for those craving variety. It also serves as a perfect base for exploring the neighboring islands of Saba, Anguilla, and St. Barths - all just a ferry ride away.
If you’re looking for a destination for an upcoming solo or girls’ trip that combines adventure, beachfront relaxation, and great dining, here’s why St. Maarten should be at the top of your list.
Sonesta Ocean Point Resort
Sonesta Ocean Point
Where To Stay
To get to St. Maarten, I booked a flight to Princess Juliana International Airport, which is on the Dutch side of the island. After landing, I checked into Sonesta Ocean Point Resort, an adults-only, all-inclusive property about 10 minutes from the airport. The property has 24-hour room service, four bars, and three restaurants. My favorite restaurant was the cliffside Azul, where some menu standouts included mushroom ravioli, grilled swordfish, and braised lamb shank.
If you want to party, you’ve come to the right place. The resort also offers poolside DJs, nightly live entertainers, and the largest casino on the island, Casino Royale. You can also spend some quiet time at the Serenity Spa getting a bamboo massage in the Japanese Zen garden or enjoying an Island Flow massage in the outdoor gazebo.
The hotel is also located on Maho Bay, just steps from the famous Maho Beach. Nicknamed “airport beach,” the beach is a popular place to snap pictures of the planes landing or departing just a few feet above you. If you want to know the best time to hit the beach, check out the Sunset Beach Bar, which has a chalkboard with a schedule of landings and departures.
Downtown St. Maarten
Credit: St. Maarten Tourism
What To Do
While you could easily spend your whole vacation at the resort, there’s so much to do in St. Maarten. One of the best ways to discover the island is by ATV through Xplore SXM, which offers daily rentals and the option of a tour guide. The rental office is just steps from the resort, and I opted for a guided tour of the island.
The island is only nine miles long and eight miles wide, and it takes just a few hours to drive around the entire island. There’s no border control (just a sign to mark each side of the island), and you can easily travel between the two sides. As part of my tour, I stopped by St. Martin’s Orient Bay, one of the island’s best beaches. I also spent the afternoon strolling through Phillipsburg, the Dutch capital, and browsing around The Amsterdam Cheese and Liquor Store, which offers gourmet cheese, wines, and even wooden clogs imported from the Netherlands.
Orient Beach
Credit: Mariette Williams
Another popular activity in St. Maarten includes ziplining. If you’re brave enough, book a trip to The Flying Dutchman, the steepest zipline in the world. The ride is over 2,800 ft long and includes a drop in elevation over 1,000 ft. At the top of the ride, you can see neighboring Saba, St. Barths, St. Eustatius, and Anguilla.
During my stay, I also booked a visit to the recently opened We Culture Museum in St. Maarten—one of the highlights of my stay. A visit to the 8,000-square-foot museum includes complimentary drinks and a history lesson on Carnival across the Caribbean. There were instruments and handmade costumes on display, and I tried on some of the Carnival wings and headpieces.
The We Culture Museum
Credit: Mariette Williams
Where To Eat
Of all the islands I’ve traveled to, St. Maarten/St. Martin has some of the most diverse food offerings. On my first night, I took a taxi to Bamboo House, an Asian restaurant overlooking the city. The restaurant offers a variety of dishes like braised duck nachos and a special West Indies Espresso Martini made with Venezuelan rum.
During my ATV tour, I stopped for breakfast at Chez Fernand, an authentic French bakery in St. Martin, where I practiced my French by ordering the pain au chocolat. I also ate eggplant lasagna at Irie Gardens, a local vegetarian restaurant in Phillipsburg. St. Martin also has a big Haitian population, and Villa Royale serves traditional Haitian dishes like djon djon rice, pikliz, and grilled conch.
St. Martin is also home to several beach clubs, perfect for day drinking and lounging in breezy cabanas. Rainbow Cafe has a laid-back, boho vibe, perfect for slow brunches, and Ocean’s 82 is a beachside French restaurant specializing in seafood like roasted sea scallops and lobster fettuccine.
Aerial view of Saba
Credit: Kai Wulf
Where To Island Hop
St. Maarten is one of the easiest places to island hop, and you can collect passport stamps in three nearby countries. Start with a trip to Saba, a Dutch island about a 90-minute ferry from St. Maarten that departs at 9 a.m. twice a week. You could also opt for a quick 15-minute flight and experience landing on the shortest commercial runway in the world. I opted for the plane ride and held my breath as we touched down the 1,300-foot-long runway.
If you’re just in Saba for the day, plan a hike to Mount Scenery. Guided hikes are offered through the Saba Conservation Foundation, and my hike was led by Crocodile James, an expert hiker and local Saban, who took my group on a 90-minute hike to the top of Mount Scenery, the highest point in the Kingdom of the Netherlands.
Mount Scenery Trail
Credit: Mariette Williams
Views of Saba from Mount Scenery
Credit: Mariette Williams
Mariette pictured taking in the views of Saba
Credit: Mariette Williams
After your hike, stop by Tropics Cafe for a refreshing lobster salad or curry coconut shrimp.
I also recommend a day trip to Anguilla. The daily ferry ride is about 25 minutes long, and rides start at 10:30 a.m. In Anguilla, the best beaches are Mead’s Bay and Shoal Bay, and my favorite restaurants on the island are SALT at the Four Seasons Anguilla, Straw Hat at Frangipani Resort, and 20 Knots at Zemi Beach House, which has tables right on the beach. Anguilla is made for beachgoing, but you can also go horseback riding on the beach or enjoy a rum tasting at Zemi Beach House’s Rhum Room, the island’s only rum bar.
St. Barths is another option for a day trip, and the 45-minute ferry from St. Maarten to St. Barths leaves three times a day starting at 7:15 a.m. The island has a reputation for being a hideaway for celebrities and socialites, and like St. Martin, it’s lined with swanky beach clubs and restaurants. Check out Nikki Beach or Ocean Club St. Barths and head to the island’s capital, Gustavia, to check out French boutiques like Louis Vuitton and Cartier.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Kai Wulf