

Boredom has a way of creeping up on us out of nowhere. We can be on our phones, scrolling through countless videos and venturing down endless rabbit holes before we ever notice the hours that have escaped us. With all the access we have to information, places to go, and new things to see, it makes you wonder how we ever find ourselves in a pit of boredom, roaming between our phone and fridge in the first place. So when the “blah” of life strikes, we all need a few antidotes to add color back into our most mundane moments.
July is Anti-Boredom Month which targets the subjective, yet commonly shared emotion of feeling a lack of stimulation or interest in their current activities or surroundings. While the cause and motive behind boredom differ from person to person, the common thread that ties most stints of boredom together is repetition and monotony.
From having a routine with no spontaneity to going from work to back home with no third place in between. Or the lack of hobbies or new interests, and only leaning on your phone for excitement and entertainment. All these factors and more can lead a person to feel unchallenged and even disconnected from a sense of purpose or meaning.
But life isn’t supposed to be dull and predictable. It should be spent doing the things that make us feel most alive and connected to adventure and novelty. And to help you combat boredom head-on, we’ve put together a list of fun and easy anti-boredom activities to spice up your life — no phone necessary.
1.Go For A Bike Ride.
One of the benefits of living in a city is that you don’t have to go far to grab a bike and ride through the city with your hair blowing in the air. Taking a bike ride not only allows you to connect with your inner child, but it allows you to see your city from a totally new perspective, all while moving your body. Let it rip!
2.Take A Class That Speaks To Your Interest.
With sites like ClassPass and Eventbrite, you’re only a click away from exploring your next hobbies. Search for classes that let you tap into old or budding interests like pottery, wine tasting, sewing, Pilates, or even trampoline jumping. The world is your oyster.
3.Binge-Watch A Cult Classic TV Series.
Have you ever had to sit on the internet sidelines while your mutuals debate about the storyline of a TV show you just never got into? Well, now’s your chance to see what all the hype was about. Shows like Succession, Game of Thrones, Snowfall, The Wire, Girlfriends, Scandal, and Grey’s Anatomy are must-see TV when boredom strikes — grab some popcorn and wine and tune in.
4.Do A Closet Cleanout/Refresh.
You’ve probably been eyeing the pill of unworn clothes in the back of your closet for some time now, and we’re not judging. All we’re suggesting is, why not take a casual Saturday morning to declutter, toss out, and reorganize your space to let in new things? You’ll feel lighter, and you may even get to give away those things to a good cause or get a couple of bucks from selling them. It’s a win-win.
5.Learn How To Do A New Braided Hairstyle.
Sure, not every Black woman was born with the superpower to braid her own hair, but that’s what YouTube University is for. If you’re not in the mood to drop $500 on a new knotless braid style and just want to try it out on yourself at home, pull up a YouTube tutorial and get to braiding away. You’ll get a new hairdo out of it, and you’ve killed some time.
6.Teach Yourself How To Crochet.
One skill that tends to get overlooked is crocheting. Not only is it a hobby that’s easy to follow and pick up, but you end up being able to create one-of-its-kind pieces that you can keep to yourself or gift to your loved one. The flow of the technique will put your mind at ease, and you’ll be only a few hours away from your next knitted creation.
7.Pamper Yourself With An At-Home Mani/Pedi.
We’re in a recession, so with the cost of most things going up, why not take one thing off yourmaintenance budget and try it at home? Run some warm water, select your colors, grab your tools, and get to the glam.
8.Start A Book You’ve Been Meaning To Read.
It’s safe to say that we all have a mini library growing in our apartment of books we bought with full intentions to read but never quite got around to it. Then we bought another for the cover art and another because BookTok recommended it. We get it. Now’s your chance to take your pick from your at-home bookstore and get lost in the pages of a new story.
9.Draw In An Adult Coloring Book.
The beautiful thing about coloring books is that there is no age limit to who can use one. Grab one with intricate details or one with your favorite childhood characters in it. You can never go wrong with a coloring session.
10.Cook Or Bake A New Recipe.
Is the “recipes” folder saved in your TikTok getting a little full? Well, there’s no time like the present to hit up the grocery store to buy your favorite ingredients and wipe up a new baked good or full-course meal. Treat yourself.
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Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
My personal relationship with birth control pills is a bit of an odd one. Back when I first became sexually active (I started having sex with my first boyfriend a couple of months shy of 19), I took them for a couple of months, didn’t like how they made me feel, and so I quit using them altogether (and got pregnant almost immediately after). The rest of my adult life, I stayed off of the pill and pretty much only used condoms (and even then, not consistently — SMDH).
And yet here I am, now, all these years later, back on them again: surprise, surprise.
These days, it's for a completely different purpose, though. Now that I am in the hopefully latter stages of perimenopause (I’m not sure because my mother had a full hysterectomy at 29, her mother died at 53 and I don’t deal with my paternal grandmother because…chile… ) — although I have always had relatively easy cycles and I could definitely set my watch to them, about two years ago, my periods started to show up whenever they felt like it and it was damn near a crime scene once they did.
It was driving me crazy, and so, my nurse practitioner recommended that I take progestin-only pills to shorten, if not completely stop, my cycle: “After a year or so, we can wean off and see if you are entering into menopause on your own.” (Whew, perimenopause, chile.)
Although the first five months of being on this particular pill made me wonder if it was worth it to take this approach, I actually re-upped for another 12-month cycle because the extra progestin (a synthetic form of progesterone) has benefitted me in other areas as well because I am sleeping more soundly and my weight is more stabilized (by the way, when these things are “off,” they are signs of low progesterone levels). However, I did ask my nurse practitioner if, once I do decide to wean off of the pill, would there be any issues.
Her response is what inspired me to write this article because, until she said “post-birth control syndrome” to me, I had no idea there was such a thing. Anyway, if you give me a sec, I’ll explain to you what it is and why you should care if hormone-related birth control is currently a part of your life.
Yes, Post-Birth Control Syndrome Is a Very Real Thing
Okay, so it’s important to always remember that the way that birth control works is it “manipulates” your hormones so that you can significantly reduce your chances of conceiving. This means that taking them could result in some side effects including nausea; weight gain; headaches; irregular periods and/or spotting; increased stress; depression; blurry vision; breast tenderness, and/or a lowered libido.
That said, even though birth control pills are basically 99 percent effective (when taken correctly and consistently), if the side effects that you are experiencing are making you close to miserable, you should absolutely share that with your healthcare provider because…what’s the sense in preventing pregnancy when you don’t even feel up to having sex because you don’t feel good or your sex drive is shot? More times than not, your provider can find you another pill brand or option that will help you to feel more like yourself.
With that out of the way, think about it — if going on the pill can produce side effects, why would going off of it…not? And this is where post-birth control syndrome comes in.
For the most part, it’s what can happen to your body once you decide to come off of birth control. Typically, the symptoms will last anywhere between 4-6 months and, although the symptoms seem to present themselves most intensely as it relates to going off of the pill, any hormone-related birth control (like IUDs, injections, patches, the ring or implants) could produce similar outcomes.
Outcomes like what?
- Irregular cycles
- Breakouts
- Excessive gas and/or bloating
- Weight gain
- Anxiety and/or depression
- Fertility issues
- Migraines and/or headaches
- Shifts in your libido
- Sleeplessness/restlessness
- Hair loss
Whoa, right? And if a part of you is wondering, “Okay, if this is indeed the case, why have I not heard of this syndrome before?” It’s because it’s not a term that conventional method uses nearly as much as alternative medicine does. Still, it makes all of the sense in the world that if your body has to adjust to an uptick in hormonal intake, it would also need to adjust to removing those extra doses of hormones from your system as well. COMMON. DAMN. SENSE.
Anyway, if you were thinking about taking a break from birth control and taking all of this in has you feeling a bit…let’s go with the word “trepidatious” about doing so, I totally get it. There are some things that you can do to make experiencing post-birth control syndrome either a non-issue or a far more bearable one, though.
7 Home Remedies That Can Make Coping with Post-Birth Control Syndrome Easier
1. Take a multivitamin.Something that’s fascinating about what going off of birth control can do is it sometimes has the ability to lower your nutrition levels as it relates to certain vitamins and minerals; this is especially the case when it comes to vitamins B, C, E and minerals like magnesium, selenium and zinc. So, if you don’t currently take a multivitamin, now would be the time to start (along with consuming foods that are particularly high in those nutrients as well).
2. Up your vitamin D intake. Speaking of nutrient levels, a vitamin level that commonly drops after going off of birth control isvitamin D. This is hella critical to keep in mind as a Black woman since many of us tend to be naturally deficient in the vitamin as-is and vitamin D is important when it comes to fighting off diseases, regulating weight and keeping your moods stabilized (for starters). So, make sure that your multivitamin has vitamin D in it. Also make sure to consume vitamin D-enriched foods like fatty fish, eggs, mushrooms, yogurt and fortified orange juice.
3. Drink herbal teas. Since going off of birth control will cause your hormones to be all over the place for a season, consider drinking some herbal teas that will help to stabilize them. Black cohosh contains phytoestrogen properties, Chasteberry can help to level out your prolactin levels and green tea can help your hormones out by helping to balance out your insulin (which can sometimes directly affect them).
4. Keep some ibuprofen nearby. The headaches and migraines? Until those subside, you and ibuprofen are probably going to become really good friends; although I will add that ginger tea and inhaling essential oils like chamomile and lavender can help to ease migraine-related symptoms too.
5. Do some meditating. Waiting for your hormones to get back on track can be stressful as all get out. That said, something that can get your cortisol (stress hormone) levels to chill out is to meditate. If meditation is new for you, check out “7 Meditation Hacks (For People Who Can't Seem To Do It).”
6. Get massages. As if you needed an excuse to get a massage, right (check out “12 Different Massage Types. How To Know Which Is Right For You.”)? However, there is some evidence to back the fact that regular massages (somewhere around once a month) can help to lower your stress, boost your dopamine, increase blood flow and drain your lymphatic system so that you will have more energy.
7. Sleep/rest more. There is plenty of scientific research out here which says that sleep deprivation can throw your hormones out of whack — and since your hormones are already trying to stabilize themselves, you definitely need to get 6-8 hours of sleep and not feel the least bit guilty about taking naps sometimes too.
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Post-birth control syndrome may not be the most pleasant thing about getting off of birth control yet it is manageable. So, now that you know all about it, you can feel more confident about taking a birth control break (or getting off altogether) — without the surprises that can come with doing it. Give thanks.
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