What inspired me to write this piece is very simple. Most of us spend at least 6-8 hours in our bedroom, so I personally think that it should be the most invested room, décor-wise, in the entire house. Like me? I've worked from home since 2000 and I spend a ton of time in my living room. It's pretty warm and cozy, no doubt. However, the time I've slowly put into making my bedroom the way it is now? Whether it's a catnap or retiring for the evening, I'm literally thrilled whenever it's time to go into that space. And that's because of how I've decorated it.
Spring is the time of year when a lot of us do some cleaning and adjusting to our surroundings. If your bedroom is "cool" yet you know, deep down, that it really could be much better, here are some inexpensive ways (like literally under $50 a pop except for the wake-up light which is around $150) to make your bedroom the one room in the house that evokes so much calm, peace and beauty that you almost, quite literally, can't stand it.
1. Buy Yourself a Wake-Up Light
Unlike a lot of people I know, I actually like it when daylight savings time causes us to "fall back". That's because I enjoy the fall and winter seasons, including the fact that it stays darker longer. Which is why I have blackout curtains hanging up in my bedroom; to me, the darker it is when I retire for the evening (or try and catch a nap), the better. Yet regardless of the time of year that you prefer, something that you might want to invest in is a wake-up light. The long short of it is, it mimics sunrise in order to ease you into light instead of "jar" you with it. Some come with alarm clocks and lighting settings that makes it easier on your eyes to read before turning in. If this is something you'd like to add to your bedroom, there is a list of some really great ones right here.
2. Install Some Color-Changing Light Bulbs
Speaking of lighting, overhead lighting is pretty much the worst when it comes to your bedroom. In the daytime, go with natural light (if you don't want anyone looking into your bedroom from the outside in, you can always get your bedroom windows professionally tinted, so that you can see out and others can't see inside). At night, how about some LED (LED ones last longer and are better for the environment) color-changing light bulbs? Some also mimic the sun by being warmer in the morning and evening and cooler in the middle of the day. However, a more dramatic spin is to get the kind of bulbs that literally change to a variety of colors. Some are even remote- or voice-activated (I know, right?). You can read up on some of the best of the best by checking out The Spruce's "The 7 Best Color-Changing LED Bulbs of 2021".
3. Get Bedding That’s in Calming Colors
Color psychology is very much so a real thing. So when it comes to creating a warmer and cozier space in your bedroom, adding colors that are proven to calm you is your best bet.
Lavender symbolizes serenity, grace and silence. Blue-grey is all about sophistication and elegance. Dusty pink evokes femininity and beauty. Sage green is rooted in wisdom, peace and growth. Beige promotes internal peace of mind, simplicity and warmth. Taupe represents modesty, maturity and dignity. Sea blue is all about calm, inspiration and health. And pale orange represents creativity, happiness and encouragement.
These are just some of the colors that can help to calm your senses, even if you use them as merely accent colors to your overall bedroom décor.
4. Fill a Diffuser with Lavender, Bergamot or Vetiver
It's one thing to have a room that is visually beautiful. You're taking it up a few notches to have one that smells absolutely amazing. As far as your bedroom goes, scented soy candles are one option. Only, if you're someone who doesn't open up your windows a lot (for continual air circulation's sake) or you forget to blow your candles out, well, you can see how problematic that could become.
The alternative? An essential oil diffuser. Not only is it safer but the overall benefits are numerous. Essential oil diffusers are able to help to relieve anxiety, boost your immunity, calm your senses, eliminate odors and improve the quality if your sleep—all things that you definitely want to transpire in your bedroom, right? As far as some of the best scents to use, lavender reduces your blood pressure and heart rate and helps you to sleep better, bergamot eases the feelings that are associated with anxiety and stress and, vetiver calms nervousness, helps with anxiety and is even an oil that has a reputation of helping with healing that is associated with emotional trauma.
5. Put a Faux Tree in Your Bedroom (or Hang Some Ceiling Plants)
Without question, one of the best additions to my bedroom is this tall faux plant that I have in one of my corners. There's something about it that makes me feel really peace-filled and relaxed. And just why is it fake? Although I did grow up with quite a few plants in my home, I don't really like the upkeep that they require. And since a lot of stores have some pretty impressive fake ones these days (lots of arts and crafts stores have them, for instance), I decided to take the low-maintenance route.
Speaking of greenery, another awesome option is to hang some plants from your ceiling. You can put up some literal ones (you can check out a MasterClass on how to do that here) or you can find some fake greenery vines (also at arts and crafts stores) and come up with creative ways to hang them. If you want to do something like a vine wall, a sistah broke down how she did it on YouTube. Check it out here.
6. Design a Floral Accent Wall
Speaking of stuff on your walls, if flowers are more your thing, another great idea would be to DIY a variation of your own floral accent wall. You could go to the same arts and crafts store that you would get a faux tree or some fake greenery from for some of your favorite blooms. I actually checked out a video from a sistah who made one for her wedding out of fake flowers from The Dollar Tree, chile. If you want to see how she pulled it off, all you need to do is click right here. Another sistah did one in under 20 minutes (I know, right?). You can see how she did it by going here.
7. Add a Window Treatment That Includes Fairy Lights
Again, I'm someone who prefers to sleep in pitch darkness. However, I do find something really inviting and beautiful about bedrooms that have fairy or twinkle lights somewhere in it. If you're either over the way your bedroom window currently looks or you've been trying to figure out how not use the starkness of your overhead lighting so much, a cool idea can be to add some fairy lights to your curtains. If you adore that idea yet, at the same time, it seems like it might be a bit of a fire hazard, no worries—there are window curtain lights that exist. They're pretty affordable too. You can read more about them by checking out Penlight's article, "12 Best Window Curtain Lights (Buyer's Guide)".
8. Put Down a Faux Fur Rug
Something that I semi-recently purchased for my own bedroom is a big ole' faux fur rug. It's honestly one of the best investments I've made for my home in a hot minute because it definitely makes my bedroom space look and feel cozier. Plus, since it's right beside my bed, I like the way it feels on my feet when I wake up. I found mine for around 40 bucks. Everywhere from Walmart and Overstock to Wayfair and even Etsy carries them.
9. Purchase a Cable Knit Throw
Pretty much, in every room of my house, there are throw blankets. I like how they can help to bring a pop of color to any room. Plus, it doesn't matter what the weather is like outdoors, I'm the kind of person who likes to snuggle up underneath one while I'm listening to music or watching television. Well, the kind of throw that looks really beautiful in a bedroom is a large cable knit one. If you're someone who likes to knit on your down time, you can start now and probably have a nice-sized-non-rushed one ready by fall (some step-by step instructions are listed here). Or, if you'd rather have one right here and now, Walmart, Target and home improvement stores sell them. I'm gonna be honest, though. Some of the best ones I've seen are on Etsy's site. Just go there and put "cable knit throw" in the search field.
10. Hang Up a Self-Love Mission Statement
Something that will easily—and instantly—make any room more aesthetically appealing is artwork…or at least something on the walls. Let me tell it, bare walls are the absolute worst. And while mission statements are traditionally reserved for places like home offices, I want to encourage you to consider creating one that you can design, blow up and frame to hang either above your bedroom or on the wall across from it (so that you can look at it, every morning that you wake up). The theme should be self-love. A literal mission statement about why you deserve to love yourself and how you will go about doing it on a daily basis. It is time and effort well-spent.
11. Put Some Throw Pillows (on the Floor)
I don't know about you, but I used to have corners of my room that were barer than I would like for them to be. The dilemma is, I didn't want to put any furniture there because it would take up too much space and I already had things that I needed like a lamp. For me, the solution has been big throw pillows.
It's another wonderful way to add a pop of color that you might like without going to overboard. And it's another easy way to make your room feel warm and peace-filled without spending a lot of cash in order to do it.
12. Create a Reading Nook
Reading in bed is great. Still, if you'd prefer to use that space solely for sex and sleep, how about making yourself a little reading nook? All you need is a small table, a comfy chair and little things that will personalize the space like perhaps a plant or some flowers; a footstool; some candles; a mug (so that you have something to put your favorite drink in); a reading lamp and anything else that will encourage you to go over and make time for (at least) a chapter a day. I've even seen someone turn a closet into a nook (you can see it for yourself here). It's the perfect final touch to making your bedroom tranquil and beautiful.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
We have less than 40 days left in 2024, and while I'm not one to rush goals just because it's the end of the year, it can be fun to challenge yourself to think about ways you'll close out this year big.
Whether you're planning to meet a certain financial or fitness goal, or you're simply trying to maintain and build on the progress you made this year, having something to look forward to is always a good look. Setting actual goals, according to research, actually leads to more success than just playing things by ear. So here are a few to get you started, sis:
(Disclaimer: Not everything is for everyone, so do like my Granny always says: "Eat the meat. Spit out the bone." Take on five out of the 40 and focus on that for the remainder of the year, or do them all. Either way, this is just to get you started.)
40 Ways To End The Year Strong and Inspired
Money Moves
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1. Increase your retirement (or other savings/investment) contributions by 1%.
Experts have found that you could be leaving money on the table by not upping your contributions when you can.
2. Cancel two to five subscriptions.
You could be missing hundreds, even thousands, of dollars a year due to sneaky price hikes and "updates."
3. Create a "fun" in a high-yield savings account.
This is especially important if you struggle with the dreaded b-word (budget) and will make next year's efforts a lot less intimidating. Even if it's $10 a month, do it.
4. Put on your big-girl panties, and set up automatic transfers and payments for at least one bill.
It reduces the stress of managing bills, lessens the chance of a missed payment---and the fees that come with that---and there can be cost savings for doing so.
5. Invest in a cleaner or housekeeping service.
Bosses who value their time (and mental health) invest their dollars into areas where the time they'd spend doing those tasks themselves could be better used to focus on other money-making projects. (And yes, rest is part of that.) Get a housekeeper, sis, or drop off that laundry, even if it's once per month.
6. Donate to a charity.
Beyond the tax benefits, it's a win-win for the greater good of communities you care about.
7. Review your insurance policies and negotiate a better rate (or move on) before their end dates.
Experts often agree this is a small but mighty step to take each year, especially since insurance rates are competitive, you could be spending more money than you need to (or not enough) and your insurance rates can affect your mortgage payments.
8. Call your loan provider and refinance.
As interest rates fall, “millions of borrowers may be able to refinance and get more affordable payments. As interest rates eased down to 6.5%, about 2.5 million borrowers could already refinance and save at least 75 basis points (0.75%) on their interest rate,” the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reports. You can also refinance student and other types of loans.
9. Stop buying individual items and stock up via going bulk.
Research has found that, among 30 common products, buying in bulk could save you 27% compared with buying in lower quantities. Water, paper products, and baby products like diapers, toiletries, and garbage bags are the top items where people see the most cost-effectiveness. (This has been a lifesaver for me—children, large family, or not—especially when it comes to toothpaste, deodorant, toilet paper, and feminine hygiene products, saving stress, time, and money.)
10. Go cash-only for the holidays.
If you set smart goals and stick to limits on things like gifts, going out to eat, or groceries, you'll see the benefits of this. Cash-stuffing is one method recommended, but something as simple as taking a $10 bill out for lunch, disabling that card for an hour, and leaving your card in a safe place at the office can give you that mindset jump start to see how far you can take your money without the need to splurge.
Love And Romance
11. Say "no."
There are clear mental and physical health benefits to saying no including the setting of healthy boundaries, creating time and energy for other self-care activities, and protecting yourself from physically harmful situations (i.e. unprotected sex or abuse). Just say it, clearly and simply, when you need to.
12. Set a fun, free, adults-only date night for once a week or twice a month with your spouse.
If busy, high-profile folk have touted the success of this, even you can make the time for quality time with your partner. And it's even better when it costs nothing. The best connections are made doing something chill, challenging, or outside the usual dinner-and-a-movie date. Play a game that allows you to reconnect, take a walk in your neighborhood to chat and laugh, or try a little erotic chocolate/edible liquid/paint episode a la Mea Culpa.
13. Go out with Mr. or Ms. "Not My Type."
I love my man, but if I were waiting out for my "type" at the time, we wouldn't be celebrating seven (going on eight) years together. Sometimes having strict, unrealistic expectations for a spouse (especially related to things like height, physical features, or career path) is what's keeping you alone and lonely.
Take the pressure off and explore all your options. I'm not telling you to stop popping the balloon on the guy who earns $20,000 less than you if that's a hard no that Jesus himself told you to skip. I'm asking you to explore other options and see what else God might have out there for your love journey.
14. Immediately apologize and pray together.
I've learned that always being "right" isn't always ideal when you truly care about someone and you're in a relationship for the long haul. Defaulting to an apology when necessary, even when things aren't 100% resolved, is a good way to prioritize peace and save your energy for more worthwhile battles. Research has even supported the benefits of apologies in relationships, and how couples married for five or more years do it often.
15. Get a Rose and discover true self-love.
Do I really have to explain this? You've gotta know what satisfies you, and how better to figure that out than to practice self-love in the bed by yourself? You can also try this with a partner, but as a woman who got on this train very much later in my sexual activity journey. I have a lot more learning to do on my own, and even in a satisfying relationship, I like to find out new things about myself, by myself.
Figure out what you're into, watch what you want to watch, and read what you want to read to define pleasure for yourself. There's a freedom and empowering element there especially if you're used to prioritizing pleasing your partner.
16. Be direct and have the "money talk" with bae.
Money issues are one of the leading causes of divorce, so you need to have those conversations before you even think about marrying someone. And true, nobody can predict the future so you won't be able to avoid some challenges altogether, however, talking with your potential spouse about how they view money, their spending habits, and the pain points in terms of their approach to money management can at least give you a glimpse into what's in store if you do walk down the aisle, move in with them, or decide to share a bank account/business/child with them.
17. Invest in the "paid" version of that dating app.
I know plenty of successful, married folk who did this and met "the one" as a result. Let's be honest: The free version is for playing around. I had a lot of fun with my "free" profile back in the day, trust me. Upgrade that photo, profile, and package, and see if the quality of your dating adventures changes when you're serious about finding a true partner. Dating coaches and matchmakers cosign this.
18. Solo travel to meet that long-distance connection.
Sometimes, your perfect match isn't within 100 miles of you, and that's okay. Make it an adventure, enjoy the memories, and book that ticket. I met my man this way and it's been a whirlwind escape ever since. If you're not comfortable traveling solo, travel or (network to plan travel) with a group via Facebook.
Career And Business
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19. Schedule coffee or virtual meetups with smart people from your graduating class, previous employer, or current employer.
I have gotten many freelance opportunities by doing this. It's as simple as connecting and offering value (or simply learning how you can better equip yourself to do so.) It's also a great way to expand your network, spark new friendships, or find out about new job opportunities.
20. Invest in a well-made suit.
I don't care what industry you're in, a suit says "power," and it's not as old-school or out-of-style as you'd think. Plus the whole experience of looking for a new one (or getting one tailored) is fun and affirming. Try these options. I swear, anytime I wear a blazer, I'm treated like a celebrity or boss, especially when traveling. I was once upgraded to first-class wearing a yellow blazer outfit, and the airline professional literally said, "You look like somebody important. Here you go."
21. Volunteer for a worthwhile project or cause that's important to your company.
If you're overworked and underappreciated, skip this one, but if you truly have the time, love what you do, and want to advance, this move is clutch. Volunteering for extra projects got me where I am today in media because I had foresight, and knew that was the only way at the time to leverage relationships, and I was able to challenge myself to learn skills that 20 years later are still bankable. That VP you can't get a meeting with will be at that gala your company is planning, so join that committee, sis.
22. Write down why you deserve a raise and ask for it in your next one-on-one.
Gather those receipts (ie sales increase numbers, KPIs met, deals closed, people acquired via recruitment, the impact of systems updates, or other tangible success metrics) and ask for that raise before the first or second-quarter budgets are being finalized.
23. Instead of quitting, write down your exit plan.
While revenge quitting is set to be a thing next year (and maybe you're among those who will be leading the trend), try the better boss move and quit with a real plan.
24. Start automatically separating that estimated self-employed quarterly tax estimate.
If you have side hustles (or you're collecting 1099 income,) baby, you do not want to neglect those quarter tax payments. Talk to a professional, do your research, and set up automatic transfers to an account specifically for paying these at the appropriate due dates.
25. Sign up for a free one- to 11-week course related to your industry—or the industry you want to be in next year.
Institutions like Harvard University and platforms like Coursera offer free courses that can enhance your skills. You can also invest in certificate courses with accredited colleges as well as tech training.
26. Hit "Easy Apply" for 10 dream jobs listed on LinkedIn.
While you shouldn't solely rely on this when actively job-seeking, using this convenient LinkedIn option is a great way to get into the habit of applying for positions. And if you're already employed, you should still be "dating" other employers if you're looking to make a move in the next six months. Keep your interview skills sharp, practice toughening up for the "nos," and get a bit of an ego boost in the process.
Self-Care And Wellness
27. Pre-schedule three month's worth of massages.
Oftentimes this is cost-effective since some spas offer deals for multiple bookings. Also, it makes an act of self-care deliberate and important, not an option. When you get that reminder call, you'll know it's real.
28. Fire that therapist and try another one.
Cultural competency in mental health support is one major problem that can hinder Black women from even bothering with therapy. And who wants the added stress of spending multiple, paid sessions explaining why something is a microaggression? Cut the cord and move on to try someone else, either via a Black women therapists channel or recommendations from others.
29. Join a small group at church.
Bedside service ain't gonna cut it and neither is going to the usual Sunday service. Join a smaller group and upgrade your efforts to connect, network, and elevate spiritually. Even if virtually, take a step to dig a bit deeper with more targeted Bible study and discussions.
30. Say no, even to loved ones.
This is on here twice, for a reason. Saying no is the simplest, most powerful micro-action you can take today to make 2025 better. No explanations. No guilt. Say no.
31. Choose one "luxury" beauty product for skincare and stick to it.
This was trending big on social, especially for millennials hitting their 40s. There's just something so freeing about not giving in to every trend and sticking to the basics that work, especially when there are quality, healthy ingredients involved. Put those orders on auto-renew.
32. Sign up for a new sport or fitness class just for fun, not for results.
It's great to be on a weight-loss or weight-lifting journey, but try something just for the fun of it. Switch things up with a couple of these fitness activities.
33. Book a staycation.
Leave the passport at home and explore a nearby community or another town in your state. There's so much enrichment in your own backyard right here in the U.S., and you don't even have to break the bank.
34. Pre-schedule your mammograms, Pap smear, and peri-menopause checkups for next year.
Take control of your health by pre-scheduling essential appointments like mammograms, Pap smears, and peri-menopause check-ups for 2025. Prioritizing these screenings early ensures you stay on top of your wellness and make time for self-care in the new year.
35. Cut off support of beauty and wellness professionals whose customer service is below standard.
This is another one that many Black women have been vocal about—from unrealistic pre-appointment requirements, to booking fees, to long waits, to unsavory in-salon experiences. Spot the red flags early, and just stop accommodating foolishness. Support salons or experienced stylists who are kind, have proper systems in place and value your time.
36. Schedule five to 10-minute moments of silence on your calendar.
Again, wellness is not optional, and if it's not on my calendar, it's not official. Sit quietly. Pray. Meditate. Or do nothing. The benefits of silent moments are almost endless.
37. Download a meditation app.
If you've found that meditation is difficult to schedule or to even start, an app can help. Try this, this, or this one, and take that step to embrace something new to enhance your wellness routine. If you're tired of downloading apps, create a playlist for meditation via Amazon Music or Spotify and schedule a reminder to do it once a day or week.
38. Invest in a healthy meal prep or delivery service.
Time is emotionally expensive, so save as much of it as possible. Getting into meal prep to keep to your goals is a great way to save time, stress, and effort. The health benefits of meal prepping have also been proven via research.
39. Create a positive playlist on Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, or other streaming platform.
It can be podcasts, music, affirmations, or somatic sounds. It's a game-changer. You can even set an alarm to wake you up to start your day with the positive playlist. Not into creating your own? There are plenty to choose from with a quick search.
40. Set up reminders for Alexa (Siri or other AI) to remind you, "You are loved," and "You are okay."
This simple effort can boost your endorphins and remind you that you're indeed, not alone, and you will be okay, regardless. To set mine up, I simply commanded, "Alexa, remind me everyday 'Jesus loves me,'" and like clockwork she does. She almost scared the ish out of me one day when I'd forgotten the reminder was active, but it was the reminder I needed when anxiety had gotten the best of me that week.
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While there's always an element of gloom and doom in the news when it comes to employment and the job search, it's not all bad out in these career streets. Some jobs will not only be in demand in 2025, but they'll be paying even higher salaries.
In fact, Mercer, a human resources and financial services firm released a few very optimistic insights in a recent report. Companies are set to increase compensation budgets by 3.3% for merit increases and 3.7% for total salary increases for non-unionized employees in 2025, despite economic uncertainty. They’re also “prioritizing talent investment, with 69% expressing confidence in their compensation budget projections, and plan to promote 9.3% of employees in 2025.”
If you're looking to change careers or even figure out your next move in your current one, you'll want to look into these jobs, per the experts, that are set to see pay increases next year, allowing you to make that vision board a reality:
1. Human Resources (“People” or “Talent”) Manager
Average salary: $137,212, or more with specialty, experience, and advanced degree
According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, the human resource manager's role is expected to see a 6% uptake in demand over the next 10 years—faster than the average job growth rate.
In this role, you oversee senior levels of strategic talent management and recruitment—from handling complaints and bridging the gap between management and their teams to managing learning and development, among other duties.
2. Renewable Energy Project Manager
Average Salary: $95,206, a bachelor's degree in engineering or related subjects, with more salary for advanced degree
Energy firms and corporations are among those reporting the highest planned overall salary increases in 2025.
In this role, you’ll be in charge of projects centered on renewable energy projects, such as solar and wind farms. You’ll handle budgets, progress reports, site investigations, and feasibility studies.
3. Digital Marketing Manager
Average Salary: $126,704 or more with bachelor's degree and/or practical experience showcasing successful projects
Communications is another industry set to offer the highest salary raises next year. As a digital marketing manager, you'll have hands-on experience and must have a knack for leveraging digital platforms to promote products, services, or brands. You’ll work with a range of niche digital media, including social media, email, online advertising, and content creation. You'll also manage teams to meet client and campaign deliverables to target and engage with audiences and customers.
4. Insurance Actuary
Average Salary: $135, 203, with a bachelor's degree in actuary science, accounting or related, with more for experience, advanced degree
While AI is impacting the insurance industry, experts are predicting that experienced and detail-oriented actuaries will still be in high demand in 2025. For this role, you’ll need to have the perfect knowledge mix of math, statistics, tech, and business modeling when making strategic decision-making. When it comes to insurance, you’ll decide the risk of potential events, and help businesses develop policies that minimize the cost of a risk.
5. Cybersecurity Engineer
Average Salary: $122,890, bachelor's degree in computer science or related field, and more with advanced degree
Tech is an industry also expected to have high instances of salary increases next year, and cybersecurity is apparently booming. You’ll be in charge of coming up with the networks that protect against cyberattacks, cybersecurity procedures for a brand or company, and the monitoring and testing systems to keep them up to date.
6. Psychiatric Nurse Practioner
Average Salary: $153,643, bachelor’s in nursing and master’s, with more for DNP (Doctor of Nursing Practice)
This specialty is the “fastest-growing choice” among nurse practitioner students, and the job remains in high demand even with the high volume of supply for the role due to the increased need and prevalence of mental health issues in the U.S. In this role, you’ll lead in individualized treatment plans, prescribing medications (DNP), providing psychotherapy, and implementing behavioral interventions (DNP).
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