I know firsthand what it is like to feel disconnected from my body, and trust me, it's a painful place to be. Pre-pandemic, I always felt connected to my body. I consciously decided to live a reasonably healthy lifestyle and rarely had any health issues outside of a common cold. I worked out regularly, went for morning runs, and was a regular at my local yoga studio. The work I put into my body contributed to my confidence, and it showed in other areas of my life. At the time, my dating and sex life were as fluid as any other single girl in New York City. When it came to my body, I felt like I had it all. I had good health, a healthy sex life, and a sweet peach to go with it (thanks, squats!).
The early days of the pandemic is when the relationship between my body and I began to shift. I could no longer attend the gym due to COVID. Yes, I could have done an at-home workout, but staying in bed and watching movies became more appealing. My dating life, sex life, and social life came to an immediate halt. Like many of us, I had to sit with myself for the first time in a long time. The only company I had were thoughts I had suppressed.
My mental health eventually took over my physical health.
So there I was, depressed, lonely, and horny as hell. I've never felt further from myself. I tried following the suggestions of every wellness page on Instagram, but nothing worked. Until one day, I came across an article on Goop titled "Finding the Pleasure in Your Body". The article discussed how using our sexual energy can help us connect to ourselves. Now I have to be honest, I didn't agree with everything in this article, but it did inspire me. I then found my erotic ways to tap back into myself. Here are sensual habits that helped me reconnect with my body.
Indulge In Self-Pleasure
ShutterstockWe are all adults here, so let's keep it real. Have you ever felt triggered, stressed, or depressed, but then you have an orgasm and you feel fine? Don't lie; God is watching. I'm not saying self-pleasure will help solve all of your problems, but it sure as hell will alleviate some stress. It definitely cleared my mind.
After indulging in self-pleasure and having an orgasm, I felt lighter for the first time in months. There is something special about being entirely comfortable with myself that felt so empowering. Knowing that I can give myself an orgasm better than any sweaty man and not have to do the walk of shame was liberating.
Engage In Sensual Body Movement
Sensually moving your body creates a pathway to accepting your feminine energy. You can sensually move your body at any age or body type. Most people assume you have to know how to dance or be a good dancer, but this is not the case. Sensual body movement is moving in a way that allows you to listen to your body and feel good. A few sensual body movements can include: moving your hips, pole dancing, twerking, or moving in a way that freely expresses yourself. I wouldn't consider myself a professional dancer, but I can move like Beyonce when alone. However, the sensual movement was a different experience.
Tapping into myself through sensual activity felt uncomfortable at first. I found myself in my head, wondering if my movements were awkward. These thoughts only proved how disconnected I was from my body. To get past the voice in my head, I decided to create a character, just like Beyonce. Her name is Alexandra, and she moves sexier than Sasha Fierce herself.
Once I got out of my head and into character, there was no stopping me. I was no longer Celeste, who was subconscious about sensually moving her body. I was now Alexandra, who had no problem dropping it like it was hot. Alexandra felt sexy, free, and fully aligned with herself. In her head, she was the baddest thing out there, and her body was out of this world.
Take A Spiritual Bath
Shutterstock
Spiritual baths are every girl's Instagram dream aesthetic. You can fill them with all kinds of elements that can make any woman feel like a goddess. You can customize your spiritual bath with roses, oranges, strawberries, crystals, herbs, and so much more. Spiritual baths are recommended to correct any spiritual or physical blockages you might be feeling. Although spiritual baths are not scientifically proven, they have been a part of many cultures and religions.
Spoiler alert: I'm not much of a bath girl. I'm a shower girl all the way. Now I know what you're thinking, "So, how did you take a spiritual bath then?" I simply incorporated it into my shower routine. Before my shower, I took a gallon of water and put strawberries, blueberries, freshly squeezed lemon, oranges, and let them soak overnight. When it came time for me to shower, I rinsed myself with the infused water. I also surrounded my bathroom with candles and played lofi music to set the mood.
My spiritual shower experience was...well...relaxing. As I poured the infused water over my body, I truly felt like I was washing away every blockage that took me further away from myself. I rinsed away thoughts of disapproval, judgment, and hurtful narratives I had told myself about my body. As silly as it may sound, I felt like I had initiated a rebirth between my body and me. I was making a new path of love, acceptance, and awareness for myself. I vowed then; I would no longer allow myself to become disconnected from myself.
Recite Body Affirmations
Body affirmations are a way of retraining your mind into body acceptance. Several studies show that if we continue to repeat affirmative dialogue to ourselves, we will likely believe it. This study also goes for the negative narratives we tell ourselves. The goal behind affirmations is to retrain our brains and retrain the way we see ourselves. This is all hard and embarrassing to admit, but it's my truth, and I want to share it with all of you.
Through my months of feeling disconnected from my body, I consciously and unconsciously told my body hurtful things. Meaning my body wasn't good enough or pretty enough. Comparing myself to other women I saw on Instagram and in magazines, and lastly, questioning my self-worth because I didn't have the fattest ass or the curviest body.
I've chosen three affirmations that have helped me embrace my body. Here they are: "My body radiates beautiful kindness"; "I accept my stretch marks as beauty marks"; "The acceptance of the color of my skin starts with me". These three affirmations have brought me closer to my body than ever before. I repeat these three affirmations when I'm feeling insecure, in the shower, or when I have a negative thought. I learned through these affirmations that acceptance doesn't start with society; it begins with me.
Wear Some Lingerie For You
ShutterstockI don't believe there is any scientific data behind wearing lingerie, but it sure as hell makes you feel good. Through my personal experiences and conversations with girlfriends, I've learned most women wear lingerie for someone else. I loved spicing it up in relationships and frequently wore different kinds of lingerie to make that special someone feel good. I picked out lingerie in hopes that Mr. Man would see my body in a sexy way, but what about how I saw my body? Did I see myself as a sexual being? The short answer is no. I was wearing lingerie for external validation, but I didn't see myself as sexy without that validation.
I began wearing lingerie before bed every night. I have all types of lingerie in my closet, but my preference was a nice silk slip (if you know, you know). Just like the sensual body movement, I felt silly wearing lingerie for myself at first. I knew it was time to tap into my alter ego again, Alexandra. I may have felt awkward wearing lingerie, but Alexandra? You couldn't tell her anything. Alexandra felt like a bad bitch. She wasn't a snack; she was the whole damn meal, period! It took no time for Alexandra and me to see ourselves as a sexy Mamacita.
I know in this article, I made my journey back to my body sound easy but I want to clarify that it took some time and practice to get to the right place with myself. I had to consciously put in the work every single day to fight past the criticisms of myself. Although it took some time, it is possible. If you're in a dark place now, just know that I am here with you. Your body may not be perfect, but you can get to a place of love and acceptance. Your body is the temple that protects your soul.
Nourish it, respect it, listen to it.
Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!
Featured image by Shutterstock
- Black Women Healing, Mindful Healing Practices - xoNecole ... ›
- How To Begin Reparenting Your Inner Child - xoNecole: Women's ... ›
- The Black-Owned Wellness Brands Bringing The Vibes In 2021 ›
- Sensual Self-Care Nighttime Routine - xoNecole: Lifestyle, Culture, Love, & Wellness ›
Although this might seem like a heavy way to intro this particular topic, because the O Method is an orgasm-achieving technique that centers around housing energy, embracing the mental practice of manifestation, and the attempt to achieve the best climaxes ever — it all works together pretty well if you ask me. If you want to take your orgasms to the next level, it’s important that you get out of yourself (to a certain extent), that you see the spiritual role that manifestation plays, and that you are open to trying new things. No doubt about it.
So, let’s learn more about what the O Method is all about and how it very well could be just what you’ve been looking for…even if you didn’t know it.
What Is the “O Method” All About?
GiphyQuestion: When’s the last time you’ve had an orgasm? Not just any orgasm — I mean a really mind-blowing one (I’ll give you a second to think about it). Now, what if you could manifest that experience to the point where it wasn’t a rare occurrence but something that happened almost every time that you and your partner had sex with each other? How absolutely awesome would that be?
That is pretty much what the O Method is all about — helping you achieve the kind of orgasms (and sexual pleasure, in general) that you desire through the practice of manifestation. And since your biggest sex organ is your brain, it would make perfect sense that even with all of the tips and techniques that you might learn to do as far as your body is concerned, honing in on what you think about is super imperative to sexual fulfillment, too. And that’s just where manifestation comes in.
What If You’ve Never “Manifested” Anything Before?
GiphyBefore we get into a quick lesson on manifestation, I think it’s important to mention two things. One, for the cynics, there is a lot of truth in the fact that it’s got some solid spiritual basis to it because even the Good Book says that as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). At the same time, that same Good Book tells us that faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26). So, while it is always a good idea to focus on good, positive, and productive thoughts, just thinking about them isn’t enough — at some point, you’ve also gotta get out here and DO something (bookmark that).
Okay, with that mini-sermon out of the way, whether it’s in the bedroom or not, manifestation is basically about focusing on something tangible that you desire, harnessing your energy in such a way that your words and actions are directed towards that longing until what you want, well, manifests. For the record, aside from this having a spiritual backing to it, in many ways, science cosigns on manifesting, too. There is actually a scientific process known as neuroplasticity that consists of reframing your mind so that your actions ultimately end up aligning with your goals — and that is another way to look at manifestation.
So, what if you’re someone who has never set out to do a manifestation practice before? No worries. Something that’s awesome about it is there are several different approaches that you can take.
Some people manifest what they want in their lives via:
- Journaling
- Visualization/Creating vision boards
- Writing down their desires before going to bed (so that they can “download” them into their dream state)
- Creating mantras and affirmations
- Applying the 369 Manifestation Method (you can learn more about that here)
- Meditating
- Learning more about what you want to manifest (which brings forth clarity)
This is important to keep in mind because, when it comes to manifesting the types of orgasms that you want to have, as you can see, you can try different manifestation methods until you find one (or ones) that you are truly comfortable with. One that can ease you into the entire process rather smoothly is something known as sex journaling.
How Sex Journaling Can Actually Help You to Have an Orgasm
GiphyAs a writer, I’m a big fan of journaling. Mostly because it’s a way to get out some of your deepest thoughts and feelings so that you’re able to really process what is happening inside of you in a private setting. And when it comes to sex journaling, specifically, it’s all about centering yourself on the things sexually that you want to “unpack,” get clarity on or come to some revelations about. For instance, if there’s only been one partner from your past who’s been able to help you achieve the type of orgasms that you wish to manifest, journaling about what makes him different from the other guys can provide you with some solid ah-ha moments.
Or if you need help getting as specific as possible about the sexual experiences that you’re after, journaling can help to make that happen for you — because one thing that manifesting reminds us all to do is be as specific as possible.
Yeah, simply saying, “I want to have better sex” isn’t detailed enough when you want to get your energy to match with your desires — instead, describe how all of your senses should feel in the experience, along with why, that can get you so much closer to achieving your goal. Once those things are documented, you can segue into creating mantras and/or meditation that are based on them. Yeah, sex journaling really is an underrated superpower on a lot of levels (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”).
5 Tips for Making the O Method Work for You
GiphyNow that you know more about what the O Method is and how manifestation plays a direct role in its process, let’s talk about five ways to make the O Method truly effective in your own (sex) life.
1. Focus, FULLY, on your feminine energy. What do rose quartz, amethyst, moonstone (which is a Gemini birthstone as well; yes, I’m a Gemini), selenite, and rhodonite all have in common? They’re crystals that help you to go deeper into your divine feminine energy. Traits that are associated with this include compassion, creativity, kindness, gentleness, and sensuality (feminine energy is also accepting and forgiving). If you were to study energy from a biological standpoint, it’s about producing change, responding to stimuli, and having the ability to do what needs to be done (work). So, when it comes to manifesting the kind of orgasms or sexual experiences that you want, using things like your creativity and gentleness in your thoughts and actions can play a role in bringing balance to your partner’s masculinity, which can create a profound sense of pleasure — after all, opposites do attract.
2. Don’t hold back on what it is that you desire. Whenever I interview sex therapists, something that they all say is, a huge mistake that people make as far as sexual satisfaction is concerned is, they have walls up — not just with their partners but even within themselves. Sometimes, there is intimidation, fear, or even shame around what they really want to happen during sex to the point where they aren’t able to channel their energy fully in those directions in order to manifest what they want. For the O Method to work, you can’t let those types of negative emotions hinder you; the more you are able to articulate what you want and how you want it, the better chance you have of making it happen. So yes, get graphic. As graphic as possible.
3. Make manifestation a daily practice. Repetition is important when it comes to manifestation. That’s because the more you declare what you desire (a mantra), get still and think on it (meditation), or look at the “art” that you’ve created surrounding it (visualization), the quicker it becomes a part of you. So yes, make manifestation a daily practice. For instance, if one of your mantras is, “I am going to have intensely passionate orgasms, one right after the other,” don’t just state that 15 minutes before sex is going to happen. Wake up and declare it. Then say it on your lunch break. And again before turning in. The more your thoughts are “streamlined” in this way, the easier it will be for your body to follow suit.
4. Share this practice with your partner. If you were to do even more research on the O Method, one thing that most of the articles will mention is it’s a practice that you can do alone or with your partner. Indeed. However, I just want to make sure that you get into your psyche that great sex is, in part, about good communication. And so, the more comfortable you are sharing with your partner what you are doing as far as the O Method is concerned and what you ultimately want to happen as a result of the practice, the easier it will be for him to “match your energy” — both in and out of the bedroom. And when your partner is on the same page as you? That definitely increases the chances of attaining your sexual desires — exponentially so.
5. Stay in the moment. While I was reading one article on manifestation, I really appreciated something that the author said: manifestation isn’t some supernatural power. In other words, while it can be beneficial, it’s not like you can just think of something, and it instantly appears out of nowhere. Manifesting is a discipline, and it must be accompanied by action, consistency, and patience — this means that you must also practice mindfulness. Meaning, now that you know better what you’re looking to achieve as far as sex is concerned, every time that it transpires, maintain a level of positive energy, remember what your end goal is, and then determine in your mind to enjoy the moments as they come. Remember, manifestation isn’t to add stress…it’s to cultivate clarity.
_____
At the end of the day, the O Method is simply a way of reminding you that your mind plays a huge role in your sexual pleasure, and when you channel it and your energy exactly where you want them both to go, you’ll be amazed what your body is capable of doing…and accomplishing.
So, what kind of orgasm are you wanting to achieve? You’ve got a tool to get you there. USE IT.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Giphy
