I know firsthand what it is like to feel disconnected from my body, and trust me, it's a painful place to be. Pre-pandemic, I always felt connected to my body. I consciously decided to live a reasonably healthy lifestyle and rarely had any health issues outside of a common cold. I worked out regularly, went for morning runs, and was a regular at my local yoga studio. The work I put into my body contributed to my confidence, and it showed in other areas of my life. At the time, my dating and sex life were as fluid as any other single girl in New York City. When it came to my body, I felt like I had it all. I had good health, a healthy sex life, and a sweet peach to go with it (thanks, squats!).
The early days of the pandemic is when the relationship between my body and I began to shift. I could no longer attend the gym due to COVID. Yes, I could have done an at-home workout, but staying in bed and watching movies became more appealing. My dating life, sex life, and social life came to an immediate halt. Like many of us, I had to sit with myself for the first time in a long time. The only company I had were thoughts I had suppressed.
My mental health eventually took over my physical health.
So there I was, depressed, lonely, and horny as hell. I've never felt further from myself. I tried following the suggestions of every wellness page on Instagram, but nothing worked. Until one day, I came across an article on Goop titled "Finding the Pleasure in Your Body". The article discussed how using our sexual energy can help us connect to ourselves. Now I have to be honest, I didn't agree with everything in this article, but it did inspire me. I then found my erotic ways to tap back into myself. Here are sensual habits that helped me reconnect with my body.
Indulge In Self-Pleasure
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We are all adults here, so let's keep it real. Have you ever felt triggered, stressed, or depressed, but then you have an orgasm and you feel fine? Don't lie; God is watching. I'm not saying self-pleasure will help solve all of your problems, but it sure as hell will alleviate some stress. It definitely cleared my mind.
After indulging in self-pleasure and having an orgasm, I felt lighter for the first time in months. There is something special about being entirely comfortable with myself that felt so empowering. Knowing that I can give myself an orgasm better than any sweaty man and not have to do the walk of shame was liberating.
Engage In Sensual Body Movement
Sensually moving your body creates a pathway to accepting your feminine energy. You can sensually move your body at any age or body type. Most people assume you have to know how to dance or be a good dancer, but this is not the case. Sensual body movement is moving in a way that allows you to listen to your body and feel good. A few sensual body movements can include: moving your hips, pole dancing, twerking, or moving in a way that freely expresses yourself. I wouldn't consider myself a professional dancer, but I can move like Beyonce when alone. However, the sensual movement was a different experience.
Tapping into myself through sensual activity felt uncomfortable at first. I found myself in my head, wondering if my movements were awkward. These thoughts only proved how disconnected I was from my body. To get past the voice in my head, I decided to create a character, just like Beyonce. Her name is Alexandra, and she moves sexier than Sasha Fierce herself.
Once I got out of my head and into character, there was no stopping me. I was no longer Celeste, who was subconscious about sensually moving her body. I was now Alexandra, who had no problem dropping it like it was hot. Alexandra felt sexy, free, and fully aligned with herself. In her head, she was the baddest thing out there, and her body was out of this world.
Take A Spiritual Bath
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Spiritual baths are every girl's Instagram dream aesthetic. You can fill them with all kinds of elements that can make any woman feel like a goddess. You can customize your spiritual bath with roses, oranges, strawberries, crystals, herbs, and so much more. Spiritual baths are recommended to correct any spiritual or physical blockages you might be feeling. Although spiritual baths are not scientifically proven, they have been a part of many cultures and religions.
Spoiler alert: I'm not much of a bath girl. I'm a shower girl all the way. Now I know what you're thinking, "So, how did you take a spiritual bath then?" I simply incorporated it into my shower routine. Before my shower, I took a gallon of water and put strawberries, blueberries, freshly squeezed lemon, oranges, and let them soak overnight. When it came time for me to shower, I rinsed myself with the infused water. I also surrounded my bathroom with candles and played lofi music to set the mood.
My spiritual shower experience was...well...relaxing. As I poured the infused water over my body, I truly felt like I was washing away every blockage that took me further away from myself. I rinsed away thoughts of disapproval, judgment, and hurtful narratives I had told myself about my body. As silly as it may sound, I felt like I had initiated a rebirth between my body and me. I was making a new path of love, acceptance, and awareness for myself. I vowed then; I would no longer allow myself to become disconnected from myself.
Recite Body Affirmations
Body affirmations are a way of retraining your mind into body acceptance. Several studies show that if we continue to repeat affirmative dialogue to ourselves, we will likely believe it. This study also goes for the negative narratives we tell ourselves. The goal behind affirmations is to retrain our brains and retrain the way we see ourselves. This is all hard and embarrassing to admit, but it's my truth, and I want to share it with all of you.
Through my months of feeling disconnected from my body, I consciously and unconsciously told my body hurtful things. Meaning my body wasn't good enough or pretty enough. Comparing myself to other women I saw on Instagram and in magazines. Lastly, questioning my self-worth because I didn't have the fattest ass or the curviest body.
I've chosen three affirmations that have helped me embrace my body. Here they are: "My body radiates beautiful kindness"; "I accept my stretch marks as beauty marks"; "The acceptance of the color of my skin starts with me". These three affirmations have brought me closer to my body than ever before. I repeat these three affirmations when I'm feeling insecure, in the shower, or when I have a negative thought. I learned through these affirmations that acceptance doesn't start with society; it begins with me.
Wear Some Lingerie For You
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I don't believe there is any scientific data behind wearing lingerie, but it sure as hell makes you feel good. Through my personal experiences and conversations with girlfriends, I've learned most women wear lingerie for someone else. I loved spicing it up in relationships and frequently wore different kinds of lingerie to make that special someone feel good. I picked out lingerie in hopes that Mr. Man would see my body in a sexy way, but what about how I saw my body? Did I see myself as a sexual being? The short answer is no. I was wearing lingerie for external validation, but I didn't see myself as sexy without that validation.
I began wearing lingerie before bed every night. I have all types of lingerie in my closet, but my preference was a nice silk slip (if you know, you know). Just like the sensual body movement, I felt silly wearing lingerie for myself at first. I knew it was time to tap into my alter ego again, Alexandra. I may have felt awkward wearing lingerie, but Alexandra? You couldn't tell her anything. Alexandra felt like a bad bitch. She wasn't a snack; she was the whole damn meal, period! It took no time for Alexandra and me to see ourselves as a sexy Mamacita.
I know in this article, I made my journey back to my body sound easy but I want to clarify that it took some time and practice to get to the right place with myself. I had to consciously put in the work every single day to fight past the criticisms of myself. Although it took some time, it is possible. If you're in a dark place now, just know that I am here with you. Your body may not be perfect, but you can get to a place of love and acceptance. Your body is the temple that protects your soul.
Nourish it, respect it, listen to it.
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