

If there’s one thing that none of us can avoid (because we’re technically doing it right at this second), it’s aging. When it comes to longevity and having time to accomplish more things, that’s a blessing. The flip side to this coin is a lot of things that we took for granted in our 20s, we have to become proactive about continuing in our 30s, 40s, and beyond — one of those things is taking really good care of our skin and hair so that we don’t end up looking older than we are…or should. Because as much as I know, we like to say that “Black doesn’t crack,” having more melanin doesn’t automatically or necessarily mean that things like our diet can’t still jack us up.
How is that? The reality is, with every year that blow candles out on our birthday cake, we lose nutrients. Along with that, an uptick in oxidative stress transpires. The combination of both of these things can lead to not only our organs aging but us aging on the outside, too.
One way to prevent this from happening is to spend less time in drive-thrus (processed foods actually age our cells). Another is to take a vitamin supplement that is high in vitamins A, B12, and C, calcium, fiber, iron, and protein (since these are the nutrients that aging bodies reportedly need most). Still, another is to check out the following 12 foods — ones that are good for you on a myriad of levels and ones that can keep your skin and hair at a place where people will constantly be asking you if you’re 5-10 years younger than you actually are.
1. Papaya
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If you want to get a good source of vitamin C into your system on a daily basis, without taking a supplement, snack on some papaya; it’s got well over 100 percent of that nutrient in it, along with a solid amount of antioxidants, fiber, vitamin C, folate and potassium. That’s probably why it’s been linked to being highly beneficial as it relates to strengthening your heart, improving digestion, and fighting bodily inflammation. Also, if you’re looking for a fruit that can help to keep prostate cancer at bay for your bae, this fruit will help to take care of that as well as give both of you an immunity boost at the same time.
As far as your skin goes, between the vitamin C and organic compound lycopene that papaya contains, your skin will experience fewer free radicals that can lead to fine lines and wrinkles. Papaya also has properties that can help to deeply moisturize your skin and clear up the kind of hyperpigmentation that is oftentimes associated with getting older.
2. Blueberries
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If being regular is a struggle for you, blueberries are a sweet way to change that. The reason why is it contains over three grams of fiber per serving. It’s also the type of berry that has vitamin C, K, and manganese in it. Your body will also adore this fruit because it’s able to do everything from regulate your blood sugar levels and keep your eyesight in good shape to protect your muscles from experiencing extensive damage while you work out and keep your blood pressure right where it needs to be. Something else that’s awesome about blueberries is they’re good for maintaining your memory and cognitive function (two things we all care about as we get older).
When it comes to fighting signs of aging on the external tip, blueberries are great at fighting against damaging UV rays and other skin pollutants. Not only that, but blueberries improve blood circulation to your skin. They can give the collagen levels in your system a much-needed boost, and some studies say that they help with naturally treating eczema and psoriasis, too.
3. Turmeric
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Something that I’ve personally been getting more and more into is golden milk (check out “Why You Really Should Be Drinking Golden Milk”). Why is that relevant to this article? Because one of the main ingredients in it is turmeric. Turmeric is a spice that, when it contains the compound known as curcumin, can help to fight inflammation, soothe symptoms that are related to arthritis, reduce exercise-induced muscle discomfort, decrease anxiety and depression, speed up the healing process of respiratory infections, and even help to treat certain types of allergies.
Since dark circles underneath the eyes can oftentimes come with getting older, turmeric is effective in that department because it contains properties that can naturally help to brighten up your skin.
4. Black Rice
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Some backstory on black rice: it’s rice that used to only be consumed by wealthy folks; for everyone else, it was “forbidden.” Chile, that reason alone should make you want to run out and get some as soon as possible (elitist be damned)! Anyway, black rice (which is also known as purple rice) gets its color from anthocyanin; it’s a pigment that has a ton of antioxidants in it — so, we can start there when it comes to why black rice is so good for you.
As far as the antioxidants are concerned, they are the kind that are anti-inflammatory, antioxidant, and anticancer, all of which are highly beneficial. People who are looking to lose weight in a gluten-free way will appreciate this kind of rice. It’s also another food that’s good for maintaining your vision.
Black rice also contains iron, and iron not only helps to keep your skin healthy, but it also can help to prevent hair loss as you get older, those are two solid reasons why it made this particular anti-aging list.
5. Tomatoes
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Tomatoes are a fruit that has a good amount of fiber, folate, calcium, magnesium, vitamin C, and plant compounds in them. If you want to keep your heart in good shape and cancer at bay while also fighting the early signs of dementia, adding them to your diet is a really smart move.
Something else that tomatoes have in them is what’s known as chlorogenic acid. Since it helps your body to produce collagen and collagen can definitely help to slow down the appearance of aging, if you want your hair, skin, and nails to look bright and youthful, cutting some tomatoes into your salad tonight is, without question, a very smart decision.
6. Honey
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You know what one of my favorite facts about honey is? It’s one of the very few foods that never goes bad. Not ever. The reason why is because it's hygroscopic which means it has barely any moisture or bacteria in it, so it’s incapable of expiring. Pretty cool, right? And what a sweet food it is, literally; one that is high in antioxidants and has potent anti-inflammatory, antibacterial, and antidiabetic properties. One that, believe it or not, helps with stabilizing your blood sugar levels. One that helps to suppress coughing (especially in young children). One that supports your gut, serves as an all-natural antidepressant and can even help you to shed a few pounds. One that can also improve your quality of sleep.
Dermatologists sing the praises of honey because it not only is a great spot treatment for breakouts and a proven way to treat skin conditions like psoriasis, but also deeply moisturizes and removes dead skin cells — it’s a way to keep your skin looking young and radiant without applying chemicals that come with a lot of popular commercial brands.
(A few years back, I actually wrote several beauty benefits that come with manuka honey. Check out “Manuka Honey Is The Ultimate Beauty Find” when you’ve got a sec.)
7. Almonds
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Next to cashews, almonds are probably my favorite kind of nut. If you’re a vegetarian or vegan, you can get a ton of protein from these bad boys. They’re a good source of vitamin E as well. A lot of people who work out snack on almonds because of their ability to build muscle fibers. Almonds are also dope because they can protect against cell damage, raise your good cholesterol levels, lower your blood pressure, and get some prebiotics into your system.
As I was doing some reading and research on how almonds are helpful as it specifically relates to slowing down the appearance of aging, an organization called the Almond Board of California shared that new research has revealed that almonds have the ability to smooth out the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles while also improving your skin tone over time. The more you know, the more you freakin’ know.
8. Extra Virgin Olive Oil
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At the end of the day, extra virgin olive oil is the kind of olive oil that is the least processed; this means that you can get the most nutrients out of it. And what that means is, if you’re someone who likes to cook with it, you can feel confident about the fact that you are being proactive about preventing heart disease and strokes, reducing your type 2 diabetes risk, and treating rheumatoid arthritis. Extra virgin olive oil also has a lot of antibacterial properties in it too.
Since skin experts credit this type of oil with being a great hydrator, fighting against any environmental damage, and also slowing down premature aging (due to the vitamins A, D, K, and E that it has), the more extra virgin olive oil that you consume, the better.
9. Fatty Fish
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If there’s one food that I think I could eat, almost on a daily basis, it’s salmon. It’s quick to fix. It’s pretty filling. And I like the taste. And I definitely feel good about eating it since I know that salmon is a huge source of potassium while also containing a good amount of protein, omega-3 fatty acids, selenium, antioxidants, vitamin D (which a lot of us could stand to get more into our bodies) and even some vitamin B12. Other fatty fish like swordfish, tuna, trout, anchovies, and Atlantic mackerel also have similar nutrients in them that can assist with cognitive development, helping to heal asthma in young children, protecting your memory abilities, and reducing the chances of being diagnosed with breast cancer.
As far as aging goes, many fatty fish have a compound in them called astaxanthin. Science says that it aids in preventing wrinkles, adding elasticity to your skin, and preventing cell damage to your skin — all things that can make you look older faster.
10. Basil
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Basil is a member of the mint family and, as someone who really likes to cook, I enjoy it because it makes for some hellified pesto. Aside from that, it helps to reduce oxidative stress, regulate your blood sugar, prevent respiratory and urinary infections, reduce the effects of memory loss, increase mental alertness, keep your arteries open — and a host of other things. Yeah, basil really is that one. In fact, if you’re pregnant and battling morning sickness, basil also has a reputation for treating nausea and vomiting. Plus, it can boost your immunity, protect your liver, and reduce your stress levels.
If one of the things that you are trying to avoid about aging or you’re currently experiencing is premature graying, basil is also an all-natural treatment for that. Applied topically, some say that it can help to rejuvenate hair follicles to prevent thinning hair as well.
11. White Tea
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If you’ve ever wondered where white tea gets its name from, apparently, the Camellia sinensis plant that it comes from has small white hairs on it (hmm…). Anyway, it’s good for you because it has a lot of plant-based antioxidants in it; ones that can fight off free radicals, help you to lose weight, aid in preventing heart disease and cancer, and even give pushback to insulin resistance. Some other cool things about this kind of tea are it can help to strengthen your bones (which can become more fragile after menopause) and improve your cognitive function.
On the aging tip, teeth age (check out “Teeth Do Age. This Is What You Can Do About It.”) and, as I’ve already mentioned, hair has the potential to become thinner (which could be due to hormonal shifts and/or genetics). The properties of white tea can help to prevent both of these things from causing you to look older due to both of these factors.
12. Dark Chocolate
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How wonderful is dark chocolate? Check out “12 Ways Dark Chocolate Can Benefit Your Body From Head To Toe” and count the ways. As I wind this up, I’ll just add to the article by saying that the more your skin is protected from sun damage, the more that it has more blood flowing to it, and the less that it experiences stress, the better off it will be. Just make sure that the chocolate is not your favorite candy bar. Word on the street is, that in order to get all of what dark chocolate has to offer, you might want the kind of bar that is made up of no less than 75 percent cacao.
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And now that you know how to slow down the aging cycle, which foods are you gonna treat yourself to when you get off work? All of these? All delicious. All nutritious. All anti-aging. Enjoy, sis. Enjoy!
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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Be Careful. Those Casual Friendships Can Be Red Flags Too.
A couple of weeks ago, I was listening to someone vent about an area of frustration that they couldn’t seem to get to the root of — why they keep getting taken advantage of by certain individuals. When you’ve been a life coach for as long as I have (and you were a journalist before that), you learn how to ask certain questions that can cause people to consider things that they may never have before.
So, when I asked her, “What is the common thread with all of those folks? And sit still for two minutes before answering,” when she finally heard her own self speak, her eyes got wide and her mouth dropped open: “They’re all people who I’m not really sure what they are in my life.”
Ding. Ding. DING.
A life coach by the name of Thomas Leonard once said that “Clarity affords focus” and, believe you me, when it comes to dealing with other human beings, if you don’t get clear on where you stand when it comes to your interactions with them, you can very easily find yourself “focusing too much” on those who don’t deserve it and too little on those who absolutely do. And y’all, this lil’ PSA couldn’t be more relevant than when it comes to what I call “casual friendships.”
Let’s dig — and for some of us, dig our way out of — what it means to have a casual friend, so that you can get clear on if you really need those in your life…and if so…why?
Article continues after the video.
It Can’t Be Said Enough: Always Remember What “Casual” Means
There’s a reason why I decided to share two videos by mental health coach Isaiah Frizzle at the top and bottom of this article. It’s because a lot of what he shares in both of them complements a piece that I wrote for the platform last year entitled, “This Is Just What Purposeful Relationships Look Like.”
It’s the author M. Scott Peck who once said, “Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it” and please believe that the older (and hopefully more mature) you get, the more you tend to see just how valuable — and fleeting — time is; and that is what plays a huge role in motivating you want to only involve yourself with people, places, things and ideas that will honor your time — and when something is casual? In my opinion, it’s highly debatable that it’s worth much of your months, days, hours, or even too many of your minutes.
The main reason why is addressed in an article that I wrote back in the day entitled, “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex.'” The gist? When it comes to relationships, “casual” is certainly not a favorite word of mine because I know what it means. Have mercy — why would you want to invest your time, energy, and emotions into something that is, by definition, apathetic, indifferent, careless, lacking emotional intimacy, and/or is without purpose?
I don’t know about y’all but that sounds like a complete and total crap shoot to me — especially if you are going to go so far as to consider this type of dynamic a true friendship (check out “Ever Wonder If A Friend Is Just...Not That Into You?,” “6 Signs You're About To Make A Huge Mistake In Making Them A Close Friend,” “5 Signs Of A Toxic Friendship That Is Secretly Poisoning Your Life,” “12 Friend Facts That Might Cause You To Rethink (Some Of) Your Own,” and “Less & Less Of Us Have Close Friends These Days. Why Is That?” ).
To me, when you decide to call someone “friend,” it means that they are loyal, reliable, consistent, trustworthy and willing to be there to support you to the very best of their ability — even if it’s inconvenient to do so sometimes (check out “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient'”). How in the world can you expect that from something that has the word “casual” in it?
And you know what? That actually segues into my next point about casual friendships pretty darn well.
Ponder the Purpose “Casual Friends” Serve in Your Life
A couple of years ago, Verywell Mind published an article entitled, “How the 4 Types of Friendship Fit Into Your Life.” The four that it listed were acquaintances (which I actually don’t consider to be friends; check out “6 Differences Between A Close Acquaintance And An Actual Friend”), casual friends, close friends, and lifelong friends. After reading the piece, I think they consider casual friends to be the “pleasure” friends that I mentioned in the article, “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends.”
And although I certainly get that, I think my “cause for pause” is calling those people “friends” when they probably should be called something like an associate or possibly even a buddy instead. Why do I feel this way? Well, I’ve shared in other articles that I think social media has jacked up vocabulary words and their true meaning on a billion different levels.
Take “friend,” for example. Facebook had us out here calling everyone we connected to on their platform “friends” when some of them, we’ve never even spoken to before — and I personally think that influenced, affected and perhaps even infected our psyche to the point where we will call folks, both online and off, “friend” even when they haven’t earned it and/or who possibly don’t deserve it.
That said, do I think that we all could use lighthearted interactions that don’t go very deep and are filled with not much more than fun? Sure. However, if we were to move this over into a sexual thing — those types of people would probably be called a sneaky link, and there is nothing significant or substantial about ‘em. In fact, if anything pretty much automatically comes with an expiration date, sneaky links would have to be it.
And that’s kind of the point that I’m trying to make about a casual friend — so long as you know that the word “casual” is being used to describe them, while you may enjoy the people who fit that bill, they aren’t really anything that you can or even should fully rely on. Instead, take them for what they are and don’t really expect much more than that. Otherwise, you could be in for some profound levels of disappointment. And who wants that?
Final point.
How a Casual Friend Can Become a Huge Red Flag
I’m telling you, y’all gonna quit clowning Tubi. LOL. To me, the best way to describe it is it’s the Cricket of current streaming apps. What I mean by that is, back when Cricket (the cell phone service) first came out, people, like me, who used it service got incessantly clowned because it was seen as a bootleg provider. Now it’s owned by AT&T, and as someone who has rocked with them since I was in my 20s, I don’t have one regret for doing so. Cricket has always been good to me, chile.
And Tubi? Well, when you get a chance, check out CNBC’s article, “CEO at 33, Tubi’s Anjali Sud on success hacks she learned at Amazon, IAC on way to top of Fox streaming” — take note of the moves the streaming app is making and the quality of programming that is transpiring in real time.
Anyway, I find myself bringing up Tubi more and more in my content because it helps to amplify some of the points that I like to make. This time, it’s a movie that’s (currently) on there calledRight Man, Wrong Woman. If you haven’t seen it before, I don’t want to give too much of the film away. What I will say is that the main female character, she had a casual friend and then she had a close friend.
That casual friend—the one who liked to kick it all of the time—was a lot of fun; however, dealing with her came with a ton of semi-unforeseen consequences. Meanwhile, the close friend? She’s what the Aristotle article (that I mentioned earlier) would call the “good friend” because she tried her best to hold her friend accountable.
And really, it shouldn’t be a shock that the casual friend turned out to be a plum trip because if someone is loads of entertainment and pleasure and yet they are indifferent towards you, they make careless decisions around you and/or they don’t really make known the purpose for you being in their life other than to pass some time — where really do you and that person have to go past drinks after work or dinner on a rooftop restaurant from time to time? And if that is all that the two of you are doing, again, why are they deserving of the word “friend”?
Hmph and don’t get me started on the lack of reciprocity that typically transpires when it comes to dealing with people like this because, while they won’t mind you spending your coins on them, taking their calls in the middle of the night or listening to all of their issues — when it comes time for them to show up for you, they very well may gaslight you into thinking that you are being dramatic, clingy or “doing the most.” Why? Well, it’s mostly because the two of you never really established what the hell the both of you are to one another.
And so, while you’re somewhere taking them seriously, they are out here seeing you casually, and as much as it might hurt to hear, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. You shouldn’t expect much where no clarity is involved. After all, casual is just that: CASUAL.
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I’m hoping that you can now see why I entitled this piece in the way that I did. It’s because a red flag is pretty much a warning, and to me, a casual friend is about as big of an oxymoron (again, to me) as casual sex is. Friends and sex are both too intimate to be seen or treated casually. Oh, but if you step out and take that risk, you could find yourself getting far more involved than the other individual ever wanted to go, because casual is how things have always been. “Friend” was simply to get you more mentally and emotionally invested. SMDH.
American columnist Walter Winchell once said, “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” A wise person once said, “One good friendship will outlive forty average loves." Former President Ulysses S. Grant once said, “The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.” Does any of this sound casual to you? Yeah, me neither.
Again, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have people in your life who aren’t on deep levels. I’m just saying that you might want to consider putting them into another category than friend, because what friends do for people? There ain’t nothin’ even remotely casual about it, sis. Not even a lil’ bit.
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