It’s not like I’ve been totally unfamiliar with hyaluronic acid and its potential. I mean, I don’t know about y’all, but several years back, it seemed like I couldn’t go one day without seeing actor Eva Longoria talking about it in a commercial (she was on loop just as much as those annoying and borderline obnoxious Lumē ads). Still, you know how it is — if you’re not someone who is proactive or even just somewhat intentional about skincare, the things that you need to do to keep your face, neck, and other parts of your body looking youthful and radiant are probably not something that you choose to investigate very often (if at all).
Oh, but as time is moving and, interestingly enough, more people are complimenting me on not looking the age that I am, I’ve become a student of products that are proven to keep the affirmations and acknowledgments coming — and one of them is, yep, hyaluronic acid. Give me a few moments of your time, and I’ll explain why.
What Is Hyaluronic Acid? Why Should You Care?
Yeah. If you just watched the video above, you heard Sanaa Lathan actually shout hyaluronic acid out. She recently observed her 52nd birthday, and so, if that’s not a powerful endorsement for all that we’re about to get into, I promise you…I don’t know what is.
So, what is hyaluronic acid to begin with? For starters, did you know it’s something that your body naturally produces? Yep, not only is it a substance that helps to keep your body hydrated, thanks to its slippery texture, but it’s also great at keeping your joints well-lubricated, speeding up the healing process of wounds, fighting gum disease, reducing acid reflux, and keeping your vagina moist. So, even though we’re going to focus on the beauty benefits that come from it today, it’s important to know that hyaluronic acid is something that your body needs on a daily basis — whether you ever realize it or not.
Oh, and if you’re wondering if there are ways that you can get more of this acid actually into your system, the answer is “yes.” Aside from the supplements that exist, there are certain foods that are high in the acid too. Some of those include bone broth, almonds, sweet potatoes, oranges, and kale.
With all of this on record, let’s get into some of the ways that hyaluronic acid can benefit you, on the beauty front, if you opt to use it in topical form.
What Hyaluronic Acid Does for Your Skin
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For the past few months now, I’ve been applying hyaluronic acid to my face and neck, every morning and every night after washing my face with sulfur soap — and yes, I have noticed a difference! More than anything, it’s made my skin feel and stay hydrated, which would make sense since that is what this kind of acid is designed to do.
Since I’ve read that hyaluronic acid plays a significant role in actually giving our skin structure, no wonder it also provides skin more elasticity and flexibility, smooths out the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, and it can provide a barrier for your skin so that it’s more difficult for bacteria to penetrate it. There are even some studies that state using this acid, in foam form, can bring much relief to eczema.
As far as the kind of hyaluronic acid that’s best, going with one that’s as pure as possible is always ideal. Avoid a brand that contains alcohol (especially in the top three ingredients) because that can actually dry out your skin. Also, if the product also contains vitamin C, that will definitely work in your favor; that’s because vitamin C is a nutrient that helps to produce the production of collagen, plus it contains antioxidants that complement hyaluronic acid very well. And definitely stay away from fragrance if your skin is naturally sensitive; otherwise, you could end up with redness or breakouts.
Personally, the brand that I use is Good Molecules’s Hyaluronic Acid Serum. It’s priced reasonably, is easy to apply, and feels really refreshing and light. If you want to read up on some other brands that are available, Allure has 15 listed here, and Byrdie has 12 listed here.
What It Does for Your Hair
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Even though hyaluronic acid and I have been rocking for a hot minute when it comes to my skin, I’m just now taking it seriously when it comes to my hair. The reason why it’s seriously worth considering when it comes to your tresses is, since Black hair tends to be naturally dry (because it’s challenging for the natural sebum on our scalp to twist and turn around all of the curls we’ve got on our head), this is an acid that can add some additional moisture to our locks as well. As a result, it will reduce breakage, decrease frizz, and add shine to your locks. Something else that’s pretty cool about it is, if like me, you have a dry scalp, you can apply the acid directly to it, and it will moisturize that part of your body, too.
So, just how should you apply this acid to your hair and scalp? There are a few different ways that will work in your favor. You can use it as a pre-poo treatment. You can apply it after giving your hair a final rinse on wash day in order to “lock in” the moisture that remains. You can mix it in with a carrier oil like avocado, plum oil, or grapeseed oil in order to seal your ends. You can apply it to your hair after dyeing it to give it some extra hydration (by the way, I recently watched Natural Reign’s YouTube channel, and she also recommends Wella Professionals’s Ultimate Repair too; she’s got quite a bit of hair on her head and it stays healthy so…that’s just a bonus tip).
What I personally do is add some of the serum that I have to my shampoo to give it more “slip”; however, if you want to check out some popular products that contain a concentrated amount of hyaluronic acid, you can see a list of ‘em here.
What Hyaluronic Acid Does for Your Nails
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Too little iron and/or vitamin C and/or folate in your system, aging, and low thyroid levels — these are all things that can lead to brittle nails. Know what else can be the culprit? Dry nails? In fact, a lack of moisture on your hands can cause raggedy cuticles, too. A surefire remedy? Yep, you guessed it: hyaluronic acid. By applying some of the serum to your hands (your nails and nail beds especially), it will boost hydration to them, so that your nails (and cuticles) can remain healthy and strong. A great hack is to mix some serum with a bit of coconut oil or vitamin E first; if you do so, your nails will look and feel amazing!
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So, there ya go. If you never really thought about adding hyaluronic acid to your daily beauty routine, now you’ve got several reasons why you absolutely should. It’s something that I don’t regret over this way — hell, wish I had researched it sooner. Super glad that I know about it now.
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In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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This shift is a significant change for couples. Let’s face it: no one wants to be in a sexless marriage or relationship. But how can couples effectively confront the impact of fading physical intimacy on the overall health of their enduring partnership?
"I have found that many factors influence one's desire to dive, and it is often not a majority of just one thing. Most people assume that if they don't desire [sex], they are no longer physically attracted, but in my experience, that has little to do with it most of the time," explained Brittanni Young, LMFT, CST.
"Some of the heavy contributors that I see most often include excessive goal orientation towards orgasm, people not prioritizing their own sexuality, and the landfill of ‘should’s’ that develop from toxic sexual scripts created long ago in upbringing," she added.
Furthermore, these issues are not exclusive to any particular orientation, but it does manifest differently.
Young is a licensed marriage and family therapist, sexologist, and board-certified sex therapist who practices in Georgia and Florida. She has worked in the sexology field for over a decade. Young helps couples and individuals looking to get through challenges of all facets facing sexuality and intimacy, such as desire mismatch, over-compulsion, and dysfunctions. She recently launched a deck of intimacy connection cards called "Show Me Your Cards." Young is working on another product that helps teach children to consent and negotiate appropriate touch. She sat down with xoNecole to discuss what causes the decline in the bedroom, the myth of 'lesbian bed death,' and recommendations on overcoming "bed death."
The Decline In Intimacy
Intimacy often dwindles within relationships, a phenomenon triggered by various factors such as stress, the insidious monotony of routine, and the toxicity of unresolved conflicts, to name a few. While couples manage daily life, exchanging intimate desires and concerns may take a backseat. Sadly, this gradually erodes the closeness once shared in the relationship.
"Typically, the first thing I do when working with a couple on desire challenges is rule out medical causes by referring them to their primary care physician or other provider they are working with," Young shared. "There are times when unmanaged or mismanaged conditions factor into low desire levels. Also, many medications can wreak havoc on keeping desire levels up, such as antidepressants, SSRIs, anti-anxiety, and blood pressure medications, to name a few."
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"Next, I look at the state of the relationship. If there is dissatisfaction in the relationship, then it definitely affects how close and intimate one wants to be to another. There are also plenty of individual factors one can bring into the equation, such as low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, feelings of shame or guilt around one's own sexuality, and external life stressors that can get in the way. I find that life stressors can be a big one for folks, as once you get in the habit of not prioritizing sex, it tends to stick," she added.
Fortunately, there are ways to prevent "bed death." It can involve prioritizing your wants and open communication about sexual needs.
"What tends to be effective for all couples is taking an inventory of how satisfied they are with their sexual behaviors and engagement. Being truthful in this vein can be the start of unlocking inhibitions that can keep you from seeking out and being genuinely vulnerable in intimate spaces," Young explained. "Next, I suggest opening up lines of communication around these truths. When people assume that nothing can be done, hope is lost."
The Myth Of 'Lesbian Bed Death'
The notion of "lesbian bed death" perpetuates a simplistic and inaccurate stereotype about the sexual dynamics within lesbian relationships. Contrary to the myth, the experience of a decline in intimacy is not universal among lesbian couples. The diverse spectrum of relationships among women challenges this oversimplified narrative, emphasizing that the complexities of sexual dynamics extend beyond stereotypical assumptions.
"The notion of 'lesbian bed death' is based on a research study done by Pepper Schwartz in 1983 that found that lesbian couplings fell behind in sexual frequency compared to heterosexual and gay male couplings," Young revealed.
"Several other studies [after] have replicated these findings but give very little information about sexual satisfaction. Despite there being more research needed overall in the sexuality field, more recent research did find that when it comes to the length of sexual encounters, lesbian couples had the longest duration of encounters. To that end, sexual quality over quantity is a better marker of satisfaction, and that is what I pay most attention to in my work. With that said, dissatisfaction can happen in all couplings over time," the sexologist continued.
Factors influencing reduced intimacy among lesbian couples may include communication challenges, societal pressures, and individual variations in libido. Menstruation can also play a role, with some couples navigating discomfort or hormonal changes during this period.
"There are certainly some nuances that come into play with lesbian couples that differ from heterosexual or other-oriented couples. As I stated earlier, physiological factors can factor into the rise and fall of libido. The hormone fluctuations that come from menstruation and menopause can impact desire levels, and it is double present in lesbian couples. Another nuance is the lack of a sexual script from society on lesbian sexual behavior. There are patriarchal roots to sexual research, which have created our societal norms that tend to leave out anyone who isn't heterosexual," Young stated.
Overcoming The Challenges
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While 'bed death' challenges couples, solutions are within reach. By identifying and addressing the underlying causes, couples can rekindle the flame of intimacy and ensure a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.
"In the words of Esther Perel, another sexual professional in the field, 'love enjoys knowing everything about you; desire needs mystery.' I recommend keeping it in the front of your mind, prioritizing, and keeping it interesting. Be open to learning more about your own sexuality every day, as well as your partner. You are always growing; what worked for you 20 years ago may not be the same today. Stay curious with one another and be open to exploring new ways to pleasure. You deserve it," Young said.
For instance, Young advised that couples should "keep sexual encounters light and playful." And not be afraid to introduce new elements, such as toys.
"Touch often in ways that are consensual and feel safe! I made 'Show Me Your Cards' to serve this purpose specifically. Just because you do not feel in the mood to go all the way does not mean you aren't in the mood to hold hands, exchange body massages, or dance together. Connecting often in any physical form, as long as it feels pleasurable, still counts as 'being in the mood,'" she said.
Overcoming the hurdles of "bed death" and debunking myths surrounding 'lesbian bed death' offers a unique perspective for couples grappling with the difficulties of sustaining a connection. Learning the proper ways to work through a sexless relationship can help foster a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.
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