

The all-time best Black women show in the early 2000s defiantly goes to UPN's Girlfriends! If you weren't a confrontational Maya, maybe you were a materialistic Toni or a free spirit with no responsibilities Lynn or a super accomplished Joan. After the eight-season series relaunched on Netflix in October, I had to rewatch the series over to fully dissect their experiences–as a grown woman and not as a child (like I was back when it came out, and I shouldn't have been watching it).
I saw a bit of myself in all of the women on that show. I am the unapologetic spicy part of Maya, the comical aspect of Toni, and I am a Black bi-racial woman like Lynn; I know the struggle very well of not feeling Black enough. But the character that hits home the most was the mirrored perspective I seein Joan. She had such a big heart, but so little boundaries that she wasn't aware was dishonoring herself more than anything else. Here's what I mean by that.Joan was the prize and the problem.
Joan was every Black woman's goal; she was an accomplished lawyer, she rocked her natural curly fro hair like it was nobody's business, was stunningly beautiful from head to toe, and owned a home before 30–all by herself, no man needed! She was the muse, but she didn't know it. Countless times throughout the series, she has bent over backwards for almost every man stepping into her life.
Joan was a serial dater because she feared being alone and feared that she would be unable to have a family of her own because of her biological clock. One of her deepest insecurities was not being able to achieve her fairytale in the timeframe she saw for herself. She went from date to date with minimal breaks without seeing the necessity of reflecting on who and why she involved herself with the men she chose. As I was rewatching the series, I thought this woman is doing too much, and then I sat in my bed thinking, damn, that used to be me.
As women, we stretch ourselves too often, selling ourselves short and falling in love with potential and not thoroughly looking at what this partner can contribute to the partnership. Just like Joan, I didn't see the beauty in solitude or even understand how other people did; I just knew I had a void to be filled. I had long-time abandonment issues due to my biological father being in and out of my life, and I entertained countless amounts of the wrong people to fill that void.
But over the last two years, I learned that no one could fill that void; but me.
A love letter to my younger self.
If I could write a letter to my younger self, I'd embrace her tightly and tell her I see you trying, but you're putting all that energy in the wrong places. To experience a lasting long-term relationship, you will have to know your worth fully and hold others to the standards you put in place.
Once you know your worth, you're not afraid to be alone, you simply accept that you will be handing out a lot of no's because everyone doesn't deserve access to you.
During Charlamagne's interview with the Girlfriends cast, he asked all the women where they would see all the characters now based on their growth as individuals. Joan a.k.a. Tracee Ellis Ross mentioned she doesn't think Joan got married:
"I think Joan is happy in herself, I don't think she's had a child or gotten married, and I think it sets the example that the happy ending does not mean that you ride off with a man on a horse."
The bigger problem is how society perceives women's worth based on marriage and children and not for their individuality–as their male counterparts. Women are whole people, not just a fraction of a person on a man's arm; we have to hold other women and men that belittle women's worth based on their patriarchal views accountable.
I understand where Joan was coming from why she did what she did, but it's a toxic cycle, and she couldn't find meaningful love until she knew what she was looking for and not just accepting a bunch of nobodies masquerading as her somebody. There is beauty in solitude and digging deeper to know ourselves as women.
Self-reflection is a journey, not a destination, so if you're playing victim, throw that mindset out; you play a part in every relationship you involve yourself in–platonic or romantic.
Slow and steady wins the race; stop trying to jumpstart a super intimate relationship with someone that most likely doesn't even know your last name and is probably wearing a mask for the first six to twelve months of the relationship just to please you. Let people show you who they are; pay attention to how people treat you. Words are easy, but actions show you where someone's heart is.Partner or no partner, the most sacred relationship is with yourself. The most intimate relationship starts with you and ends with you.
xoNecole is always looking for new voices and empowering stories to add to our platform. If you have an interesting story or personal essay that you'd love to share, we'd love to hear from you. Contact us at submissions@xonecole.com.
Featured image via Giphy
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Ajeé Buggam is a content writer and fashion designer from New York City and an alumna from the Fashion Institute of Technology. She specializes in writing about race, social injustice, relationships, feminism, entrepreneurship, and mental wellness. Check out her recent work at Notes To Self
Your May 2025 Monthly Horoscopes Are All About Blooming Softly & Trusting Divine Timing
May is about being patient, nurturing your dreams, and creating beauty in your world. This is a more stable and generous month than the chaos that April brought, and we get an opportunity for closure, healing, and rejuvenation this month. We are still amid some important retrograde transits, but these are ones we can navigate better by grounding our energy in the present moment, and not allowing ourselves to stress over the what-ifs.
With the Sun in Taurus for most of the month, May reminds us that there is beauty in finding your peace and not allowing anyone to disrupt that.
Pluto goes retrograde in Aquarius from May 4 until October 13, and this will be a time of remembering your power when it comes to your purpose, innovations, and the ability to attract support into your life. Mercury moves into Taurus on May 10, making this a good time for negotiations, creating new plans financially, and sticking to your word on something that holds value to you. The Full Moon of the month occurs in Scorpio on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year, signifying growth and seeing the beauty in your life.
This Full Moon is all about letting go of what doesn’t feel authentic or resonate with you emotionally, and about experiencing more closure and healing within relationship matters.
Your May 2025: A Monthly Overview
Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and we enter air sign energy, which is good for communication, business, and coming up with inspiring and new ideas. On May 24, Saturn enters Aries, beginning its new transit where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn in Aries is bold, direct, and straightforward, but so are its lessons. There is a gift in resilience and finding your strength during this time, and this transit will show you where your power is, but it may challenge you to confront self-limiting behavior in the process.
Mercury enters Gemini on May 25, and Mercury loves being here. Mercury in Gemini is the creative genius, and this is a month of aligning yourself with this energy. On May 26, we have a New Moon in Gemini, and it’s time to set your intentions for where you want a communication breakthrough in your life, and what new ideas you want to start planting the seeds for. This is a good New Moon for networking, exchanging ideas, having more fun, and getting inspired.
Article continues after the jump.
May 2025 Horoscopes for Every Zodiac Sign
Keep reading for your sun, moon, and rising sign below to see what May has in store for you.
ARIES
The impact from April is finally behind you, and you get to move forward this month, Aries. After a month of retrogrades and Eclipses, you are starting to see the progress of what you have been working towards financially this year. The Sun is in your 2nd house of abundance, self-confidence, and values this month, and you are putting your dreams here first.
With Venus also in Aries for the entire month of May, you are feeling the support within and without this month, and this is a beautiful month unfolding.
On May 24, Saturn enters your sign, beginning its transit in Aries, which will last for the next few years. Saturn is the master of tough love, and you are going to be learning a lot about yourself during his time and going through a growth spurt. The New Moon of May is at the end of the month on May 26 and will be giving you the answers and clarity you have been looking for, highlighting open communication in your life. Overall, this is your month of fewer obstacles and more progress.
TAURUS
Taurus Season is officially underway, and you are the main character right now, Taurus. Remember that. This month is about trusting your intuition and the timing of things, and knowing that things are working in your favor. With Venus, your ruling planet, in your 12th house for the month, you are seeking a lot of closure and culmination right now and are healing what was. Mercury enters your sign from May 10 until May 25, and it’s all about the perspectives you are gaining right now.
Don’t be afraid to ask the important questions and get down to the bottom of things that have been worrying you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 7th house of partnership, and you are closing the door on what has not been working for you in love. You are seeing the clarity of what you need within your emotional world and how you want to navigate the changes you have been through here now.
GEMINI
May is a new beginning for you, Gemini. You have a lot of energy and vitality with you this month, and you are ready to accomplish some personal goals and intentions of yours. For most of the month, the Sun is in your house of closure and healing, and you are finding yourself rejuvenated from the transformations you have been through. Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and with the Sun in your sign, nothing is holding you back from shining and living in your truth right now.
On May 25, Mercury enters Gemini until June 8, and Mercury loves being in your sign, as this is your planetary ruler.
Mercury in Gemini is forward-thinking, quick, and intelligent. You are coming up with solutions to previous challenges or obstacles, and overcoming something that has felt restrictive mentally. Before the month ends, there is a New Moon in Gemini on May 26, and this New Moon is one of the best times of the year for you to set your intentions and manifest your dreams. Remember you are worthy of what you are setting out to accomplish this month, Gemini.
CANCER
Cancer, this month requires you to slow down, take care of your health, and allow things to come to fruition the way they are meant to. There is a chance you could be overthinking more than usual this month, and you are being reminded that there is only so much that is in your control, and to give yourself some more grace. The Full Moon in Scorpio on May 12 will help you gain a little more clarity of the heart and is going to be a time of feeling the love and appreciation in your life.
Saturn enters your 10th house of career on May 24, remaining here over the next few years, and you are getting an opportunity to grow and discover where you may have been limiting yourself professionally, socially, or within your aspirations in life. This time is all about reminding yourself that you deserve recognition for the work you do, but that you must also be the one believing in yourself as well. On May 12, there is a New Moon in your house of emotional healing, and you are seeing the gifts of alone time, safe spaces, and tending to your creative inklings at the end of the month.
LEO
This month is an opportunity for a new beginning in love and progress within your emotional world, Leo. You are learning to trust your intuition more, and you are putting more of your energy into your heart’s desires. With the Sun in your 10th house for most of the month, you are shining in your truth and remaining confident in your goals in life.
Venus is in your house of adventure for the entire month, and this is a good time for experiencing romance while traveling or getting out of your comfort zone a little.
Saturn makes a significant move from Pisces into Aries at the end of the month and enters your 9th house. With Saturn here, you will be learning more about what mental growth and clarity mean to you, and this is a good time to dedicate yourself to higher education, traveling, gaining a new perspective, and honoring your integrity and values. The New Moon of the month is on May 26, creating magic within your friendships and community.
You are leaving this month with hope in your heart and new plans for the future.
VIRGO
May is a month of abundance and fruition for you, Virgo. Your dreams and intentions are coming to fruition, and you are owning that which you have created for yourself. With Venus in Aries, this is a good time for seeing support in your life financially, dedicating yourself to your commitments and responsibilities, and seeing the gifts in that. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and this is an intuitive time for you, giving you the strength needed to close the chapter on what you don’t resonate with anymore.
On May 24, Saturn enters your house of shared finances, rebirth, intimacy, and resources, and over the next few years, you will be learning the importance of connecting with people who truly have your best interest at heart, and not committing to what feels unstable. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your house of career, and this is a good time to manifest and set your intentions for where you want to see professional growth in your life.
Overall, May is about embracing your freedom while honoring the people and connections that help you grow and make you feel more secure in life.
LIBRA
This is a month of feeling empowered and ready to take on anything that comes your way, Libra. You are inspired by the progress you are making in your life right now, and with Venus in your 7th house of love, you are being well-received. This is a month of finding your balance between your path and the growth of your relationships, and there is a sense of support, harmony, and love in your life in May.
You are owning your authenticity and living in your truth fully, and this energy is magnetic.
However, Saturn also enters your 7th house of love this month, where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn empowers and helps you grow, but you can also feel a little more challenged within your relationships during this time. The more you can own your wants and needs, the more you can find vulnerability and support within your relationships. On May 26, a New Moon in a fellow air sign occurs and happens in your 9th house, creating a chance at a new adventure and an opportunity to discover some new inspiration.
SCORPIO
May is about believing in the impossible, Scorpio. It’s time to take a leap of faith in yourself and to remember your power. You are seeking a new beginning in your life, and with the Sun in your 7th house of love for most of the month, you are being supported and encouraged in the process. Pluto, one of your ruling planets, goes retrograde in your house of home and family from May 4 until October, and you are gaining clarity on the people and support systems you can rely on more.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year. You are in full bloom and ready for whatever is next for you, and this is beautiful. Previous intentions and goals come to fruition for you overall in mid-May, and there is a lot to look forward to right now as you are getting excited about it all. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your 8th house, creating a sense of empowerment through what you are looking to change and transform in your life right now.
This month is about not being afraid to take more risks and doing things your own way.
SAGITTARIUS
May is a beautiful month of magic, success, and good fortune, Sagittarius. You are feeling lucky this month and are attracting success to you in many different areas of your life. Venus, the planet of love, is in your 5th house of romance for most of the month, and you are enjoying your life, feeling the love within your heart, and expressing yourself freely in May. You are a magnet for your manifestations, and dreams are coming true for you this month, Sag.
On May 12, we have a Full Moon happening in your house of endings and closure, and you are closing out a big chapter in your life this month.
You are letting go of old pain or emotional experiences and choosing not to repeat a pattern that left you feeling hopeless before. On May 26, we have a New Moon in your sister sign, Gemini, enhancing your need for love, connection, and relationship development this month. This is a great New Moon to set your intentions for what partnerships you want to see grow, heal, and come to fruition for you. Overall, May is your month of fruition, balance, and believing in the magic in your life.
CAPRICORN
May is about slowing down and allowing yourself to find the answers you have been looking for, Capricorn. This isn’t the time to rush your progress or doubt where you are in life. The Sun is in your 5th house, and this is good for finding more time for fun, pleasure, self-care, and asking your heart what it needs. With Pluto going retrograde in your 2nd house of values and income, you are being reminded to hold yourself with integrity and to know that you are worthy of the things you are asking for.
The Full Moon on May 12 is a beautiful time to connect with loved ones or those who inspire you. The universe wants to show you that you are not alone this month and that you deserve to live a life where you can enjoy yourself more and manifest your dreams, rather than believing everything needs to be a challenge to be worthy. Saturn, your ruling planet, then enters your 4th house of home and family, and over the next few years, you are going to be rediscovering what home means to you.
AQUARIUS
Your guidance for May is to trust that what is falling from your life or changing for you is doing so for your benefit, Aquarius. Trust that what is happening is happening for you and not to you, and don’t doubt that you will rebuild from this. With Pluto going retrograde in your sign from May 4 until October 13, you need a break from some of the confusion you have been feeling in your personal life, and you are getting a chance to gain a new perspective this month.
Use this time to get inspired by change rather than let it bring you down, and ground yourself in the present moment more.
Saturn enters Aries in May, where it will remain for the next few years, helping you grow in the areas of your life that have to do with communication, networking, transportation, siblings, and education. You will be learning a lot during this time and will be finding new outlets for self-expression and communication. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini occurring in your 5th house of romance, pleasure, hobbies, and entertainment, and after a month of navigating endings, changes, and closures, you are ready for a fresh start and are receiving one in love now.
PISCES
Allow what is to be, be, Pisces. May is a month of allowing yourself to trust the timing of the universe and not giving up hope that things are going to turn out beautifully for you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in fellow water sign, Scorpio, and this is a time to get inspired and see the benefits of closure. This Full Moon is about gaining a new perspective and not doubting what is clearer to you now, that you are worthy of a new beginning.
On May 24, Saturn moves into your 2nd house of income, and you are going to be moving through a journey of developing financially, and working on maintaining stability while building new foundations in your life. The New Moon in Gemini at the end of the month is about setting your intentions for your home and family life and creating some new energy here. Overall, May is your month of breaking ground on the things you want to create for yourself and trusting the timing of how things are unfolding.
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Glow Ups, Grit, & Grown Woman Energy: The Ladies Of ‘Basketball Wives’ Enter A New Era
The ladies of Basketball Wives aren’t just back—they’re blooming.
With Season 12 already making waves as one of the most personal and layered seasons yet, the cast is showing us what happens when you mix real-life growth with the signature glam and grit fans have come to love. This time, it’s less about who said what and more about who’s showing up fully.
From business wins to new family dynamics and deeply vulnerable moments, Evelyn Lozada, Jackie Christie, and Jennifer Williams are peeling back the layers—and yes, still giving us the moments that light up Twitter every Monday night. But more than anything, they’re letting us see the women behind the viral clips, and they’re bringing a different kind of energy this season: one rooted in evolution, elevation, and unfiltered truth.
Legacy, Leveled Up
Season 12 isn’t just a continuation—it’s a transformation. The cast is tapping into a deeper sense of self, mixing the nostalgic drama fans expect with real-life growth arcs that feel fresh. Jackie Christie broke it down best, sharing, “You get classic Basketball Wives with this season, but you get new faces. They have intricate stories, and different things going on in their lives. And we all intermixed together… with the spiritual journeys, the growth, everything that happens in between—it’s going to be phenomenal.”
And that new energy? It’s loud, it’s bold, and it’s not afraid to shake the table. With new additions like Ty Young, Ming Lee, and Jackie’s own daughter Chantel (Channy) stepping into the fold, and Brandi Maxiell and Brittney Renner returning, the dynamic is more diverse than ever. One standout? Channy. Jackie called her “feisty” and “passionate,” saying, “To me, I thought she brought a lot of energy. She is herself.”
Evelyn co-signed the sentiment, saying, “She was a breath of fresh air to shoot with—just so authentic and so real… she says exactly how she feels. She’s very articulate.” And Jennifer chimed in with a little tease for what’s to come: “Chantel is Jackie 2.0… She’s opinionated, she’s spicy, and she’s going to speak her mind.”More Than the Moments
Yes, the show still brings the viral-worthy scenes, but this time, the cast is leaning into purpose. Jackie is proud of where her talk show is headed and is excited for fans to see just how far it’s come, saying, “It’s amazing, it’s in a great place right now, and I want everybody to get to watch that.”
Jennifer is also expanding her empire. “My motion picture under Jennifer Williams Production. It’s my first motion picture,” Jennifer says. “I had my documentary, which was very successful. So I love when the audience gets to see us doing business… behind the scenes, these ladies are hands-on, running businesses and being moms.”
And Evelyn teamed up with her daughter, Shanice, to launch their podcast Drop The Low.
It’s clear that these women aren’t just reality stars—they’re producers, creators, entrepreneurs, and mothers building legacies. And while the arguments might still hit the group chat, the business moves are giving “boss era” in the best way. Yes, the drama’s still there, but there’s purpose behind the platform. This time, you’re getting the full picture—not just the wine toss.
The Real Return
For Evelyn, returning to Basketball Wives wasn’t about unfinished business—it was about pride. Pride in what the franchise has become. Pride in how it continues to spotlight women of color in complex, nuanced ways. And pride in being able to use the platform to amplify her businesses and philanthropy.
She admitted the cast trips still aren’t her favorite part of filming, but being part of a legacy show that still has fans tuned in over a decade later? “I filmed the show because I’m proud of the franchise. We have put so much energy into this over the years,” Evelyn shares. “Every time we get a new season, I’m like, ‘Oh my God, we got another season!’ And I’m grateful for it.”
But it’s not just about being on TV—it’s strategic. “Obviously, we get compensated to shoot the show, but it also helps support our businesses and the other stuff that we have going on,” she adds. “That, for me, is more important—just to be able to promote those things and use this platform.”
Family First, Always
Jackie is entering a new chapter in more ways than one. Her daughter Chantel is joining the cast, and her husband Doug Christie recently stepped into his new role as head coach of the Sacramento Kings.
As for navigating reality TV with her daughter now in the mix? Jackie’s stepping back—but not too far. “Channy is an amazing, smart, beautiful young lady that is married, a basketball wife, a mother, and a grown woman in her own right… I didn’t need to navigate as a mom,” Jackie says. “I’ve always had that tendency to be like, ‘Let me do it for you, let me fix it.’ So Channy puts me where she needs me to be. She tells me, ‘You ain’t getting the key to my apartment.’ She moved in the same building as me!”
It’s a playful reminder that this season is just as much about boundaries as it is about bonds—and Jackie’s learning how to support her daughter without trying to fix everything. Boundaries? Set. Drama? Inevitable.
Too Real, Too Fast
Jennifer has always been known for the fashion, the shade, and the reads—but this season, even she had moments where things got a little too real. “I feel like there were a lot of those moments, and it didn’t necessarily have anything to do with me… but I feel like it got really personal this season,” she reveals.
She’s no stranger to conflict, but even she had moments where she mentally tapped out. “There were certain things where I was like, ‘Leave me out the group chat.’ I just don’t want to know!”
Still, Jennifer made it clear that vulnerability is part of what makes the show powerful. “Everybody is very transparent. And sometimes it doesn’t always look good—it’s ugly,” she admits. “But that’s a part of life. Everything is not peaches and cream.”
Soft, Strong, and Still Spicy
What’s refreshing about this new season is that it doesn’t pretend to be anything it’s not. The women are grown, still fly, and unapologetically figuring things out. They’re making moves in business, learning to set new boundaries in friendships, and redefining what strength looks like beyond the surface.
From family ties and franchise loyalty to filming through faith and fiery confrontations, Basketball Wives Season 12 is reminding us that evolution doesn’t mean losing the edge—it just means showing up differently.
Catch the new season of Basketball Wives every Monday night on VH1.
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