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The Benefits & The Beauty Of Solitude
Why does no one ever tell us about the loneliness of adulting? Who created the manual and why did no one ever receive their copy? I've been navigating the land of Paying Bills & Sh-t for a few years now and it's led me to believe that maybe the manual doesn't exist because it isn't a one size fits all kind of thing.
It's a land that's best chartered alone where you find self, ditch the trends, stop relying on outside influence, and learn to trust yourself to make wiser decisions. I think a big part of surviving adulting is always remaining open to see the beauty of a thing – no matter how much it hurts or how awkward it feels or how weird you look doing it. I have found beauty while toiling the path alone and I do believe that there are gifts in solitude.
The Gift of Self-Awareness
Up until your 25th birthday, if you're anything like me, your life might have looked pretty much the same as all your BFFs. When one of you found a new bomb beauty product, you all found a new bomb beauty product. If one of your friends was really into a certain artist, you were all feeling said artist (or pretended to anyway). You swept your personal dreams and passions to the side lest you be mocked for not following popular opinion. You attended parties you had no interest in being in and I have to pose the question:
What happened to the person you were before they told you who to be?
While on the pursuit of finding self as a young adult, I was able to reintroduce myself as the person I always wanted to be. The person I was before peer pressure took over and removed the quirks and flaws that made me me. I was able to spend all of my time at the bookstore ooh-ing and ah-ing over poetry books by RH. Sin, Rupi Kaur, and Rob Hill Sr. I was even privileged to attend some of their events (alone) and I really enjoyed myself – for the first time in a long time. I wasn't able to spend as much time with my outgoing, extroverted friends but that was okay. I was getting to really know me and as life will teach us, you are the only constant in your life. Might as well get to know her thoroughly and love her fiercely.
The Gift of Becoming Your Best Self
"Elevation requires separation" is a popular adage that I hear time and time again. Whilst finding self, I stumbled into purpose. Questioning my life's work and what I really wanted to give and get out of this lifetime. Adulting can have you soul searching as if you were a real life guest on Oprah's Super Soul Sunday. The only problem was, most of the people that I kept close didn't understand why I felt the need to do more. I already had a coveted position as a Law Clerk at the time, checking in at the Immigration Board and local court houses several times a week. They didn't understand that my paycheck and/or status wasn't the end all be all.
They were comfortable with the person they knew and I was feeling hella uncomfortable as life demanded more of me. It's not that the people who know and love you don't want to see you win – it's that they fear who you may become on the journey. They don't want you to become so successful that you forget about them. They don't want you to be too busy to gossip every Friday over some bubbly, like you've done every week since leaving high school. I guess this would be an adequate time to remind you once again that you are the only constant in your life. It's important to be there for the people that are there for you – but you have to remember that this life you're living is for you and your maker.
The Gift of Discernment
After relying on outside opinion for so much of our lives, it can become quite hard for us to learn to trust the voice within. It's always been there though. That time your badass friend Tiffany told you it was a good idea to skip class to go on a double date – you felt it. That little feeling in your gut that had you feeling sick af, partially because you knew mama would crucify you when she found out and partially because you knew it was wrong. Big sister intuition is always there and will never leave you. The great thing about discernment is the more time we spend with her, the stronger she becomes.
Sometimes it's best to turn down the volume on the outside so you can really hear the most important thoughts of your inner self.
Now this chapter of our lives is about making better decisions, knowing who we are and what we really want out of life, and doing things that truly make us happy. I'm pretty sure I saw you raise your hand when asked if you're ready to live your best life. The keyword there is your…your best life.
You've spent long enough making mama happy, feeling pressured to go to this outing and that outing because that's what the rest of the crew wanted to do, and making crappy decisions based on opinions from people who really don't know what the eff they're doing either. I wish I could edit this part out too but there's beauty in the struggle mama.
Cheers to adulting.
Featured image by Shutterstock
- The Benefits of Solitude | The Walrus ›
- 6 Reasons You Should Spend More Time Alone | Psychology Today ›
- The Psychological Benefits of Being Alone - The Atlantic ›
- The Beauty of Being Single: 6 Benefits of Solitude ›
- 7 Science-Backed Reasons You Should Spend More Time Alone ›
- 5 Life-changing Benefits of Solitude - Operation Meditation ›
- How Solitude Can Change Your Brain In Profound Ways ›
- the lost art of solitude : zen habits ›
- Benefits of Solitude | Dag ›
- The benefits of solitude ›
Danielle Smith is a Toronto-based Personal Development Junkie on the gram @youbettaglowgirl. She keeps her hands full as a Writer, Speaker, Stylist & Non-Profit Founder, all while doing her most important job as a full-time mama of one. Marching to the beat of her own drum and a playlist of her favourite 90s R&B, she's blazed a path of her own.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
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Mariee Revere On Her History-Making Million-Dollar Sales And The Future Of MoonXCosmetics
If the name Mariee Revere sounds familiar, it's probably because you heard of her beauty and skincare brand, MoonXCosmetics, or you may have heard about her history-making achievement of making $1.8 million in less than eight minutes. But before starting her million-dollar brand, Mariee was just a teenager trying to cure her acne.
While she grew up in the skincare capital of the world, South Korea, Mariee didn't really experience breakouts until her senior year of high school. Like many people who get their first breakout, she didn't know what to do, and there weren't many products out there at that time. So she decided to experiment. What she didn't know was that what she came up with would ultimately be her ticket to success.
"When I graduated high school, I moved back to America, Georgia, and I ended up making, like, the oil, the Rose Galore oil, which is like the staple product of my brand. I don't know what made me make it, but I did, and it literally cleared my face up," she tells xoNecole in an exclusive interview.
"I end up selling it as a body oil first because, obviously, I'm 17, [and] don't have any background as an esthetician or anything like that. I just made a product that worked for me, but people bought it and was using it, and I reformulated it, and then it just stuck like with me."
While MoonXCosmetics is known for its facial products, it wants to expand to body care and home. It just released its new product, Moon-Gel body wash, and it's only up from there. As Mariee continues to grow the brand, it's more than likely that she will see more history-making moments. And so far she has.
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When asked if she feels pressure to obtain more of those milestones, she says yes and no. "I did $1.8 [million] again, and then I did $2 million but I feel like now, currently, I don't look at that as one of my goals anymore because [of] the headache and just everything that came with it, but I was thankful and blessed to have that milestone, but now I'm looking for more," she says.
"I want to say more reach than more like fast-paced sales. I do want that. Obviously, every girl wants that, but I do want to have a better overall reach for my brand because I did take two years off so I was able to learn, [and] study a lot of different things. See how things have changed from 2020 to now."
"I did $1.8 [million] again, and then I did $2 million but I feel like now, currently, I don't look at that as one of my goals anymore because [of] the headache and just everything that came with it, but I was thankful and blessed to have that milestone, but now I'm looking for more."
Another part of expanding for any company is hiring people. Finding the right person to help you can be a hassle, especially for business owners who are used to doing all the work themselves. Mariee can relate to this, and she touched on this topic in her documentaryThe Million Dollar Story. She recommends having someone be your "right-hand man" who you trust to handle the ins and outs of the company.
"I could say, definitely get, like a right-hand man to help you within the process because that really was what helped me. I never had a job. I literally was 18 now, being like, you know, the boss of over 30+ employees at one point in time, and I didn't know anything. I didn't know anything about no W-2s, no taxes, no clock in, clock out because all I [have] ever known was my brand," she explains.
"So I definitely partner with people who are very skewed and versed in those areas, and they helped me get through it. Even to this day, I still have my same person helping me with hiring, firing, [and] doing everything that I can right now because I'm still learning. But obviously people get jobs young, so they have way more experience than me, but still learning."
And though she is still learning, one thing she makes sure to stay on top of is being consistent. Consistency is what trips many people up when it comes to achieving goals, but Mariee says it's all about scheduling. Whether it's when to post on social media or email marketing, scheduling it out can make a world of difference. That same practice also works when planning out her future goals for the company.
"Right now, future goals would be to drop at least five more products before the end of the year. We always do outreach, where we do drives and all that, but definitely do way more this year, she says. "Then really dive into body [care], and then hopefully open up MoonXBody underneath MoonXCosmetics to let that branch out and be open and definitely get back consistent."
For more information, visit moonxco.com.
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