The past 72 hours have been a whirlwind of #RoyalWedding coverage, and for good reason. Saturday's ceremony was seriously one of the most gorgeous spectacles I've had the pleasure of witnessing. Many have been left wondering, how did Meghan Markle, an older, divorced, half-black, American, actress, with no royal pedigree, gain the affections of one of the richest and most eligible bachelors in the world?
Well first, despite all of those descriptors that would seemingly deem her ineligible for such a catch, you can clearly see in Harry's eyes that it was Meghan who was the prize. He made this clear, in fact, in an interview after their engagement, when he said that he knew he "had to up his game" when he first laid eyes on her.
To give some backstory, they were set up by a friend on a blind date, so Meghan must have been exhibiting all the appropriate princess-like behavior even prior to their meeting. After all, even the best wing-woman on Earth wouldn't risk an important contact like Prince Harry by setting him up with a woman who was trashy, inappropriate, or uncouth. The fact that Meghan traveled in the right social circles and spent a lot of time doing charity work both here and abroad furthered her cause, she already acted like a royal before they met.
So what was Meghan's secret to having Harry so smitten from the start?
In my opinion, it's all about how she has harnessed the power and magic of feminine energy. Think about her body language during the ceremony: it was like she was beaming positive energy out of every pore. She was all smiling eyes, soft giggles, affectionate hand-holding, bashfulness (mixed with a healthy dose of confidence) and warm adoration for her man. And the whole world was spellbound.
Femininity is a helluva drug.
This magical energy coursed through their entire courtship, and Meghan took the more feminine route at every turn. She shut down her lifestyle blog and deleted her social media accounts once their relationship was leaked to the media, putting a premium on their privacy rather than her personal brand. She gave up her acting career in order to focus on royal duties, after realizing she could do more for her personal causes as a princess than an actress. She stayed silent as vile things were said about her in the press and family members trashed her on every available platform. These sacrifices gave Prince Harry the space to be her protector, standing up for her via an unprecedented official statement from Kensington Palace both confirming their relationship and calling for restraint in media coverage of her.
Despite what she gave up, in return she gained an alpha male partner who adores her, protects her and provides for her (that and a role in the royal monarchy). Had she held onto "independent woman syndrome" or listened to "friends" who expected her to maintain her career, she would now be yet another in the long list of Harry's ex-girlfriends.
Each of us can manifest our inner feminine in that same way. The key is vibrating on that level energetically.
You can have curves to die for, hair laid, nails done, eyelashes poppin' and designer heels to match every bag in your closet but if your energy is competitive, aggressive and alpha, none of the other qualities matter when it comes to attracting a high-quality man. So many successful women have everything going for them, but because we're so used to doing everything ourselves, we don't allow ourselves to let our guard down and be soft and vulnerable when a man is around. We don't ask for help, we make all the decisions, and we talk more than we listen. It also doesn't help when people are constantly asking what you bring to the table, because you start to think your worth is connected to your work, your grind and your hustle, which is a totally masculine mindset.
Your worth is not measured by what you do, but who you are, a woman worthy of the dreamiest of love stories.
Want to access your feminine power?
- Start with some self-care. Get your nails done, take a bath, or book a regular massage. It's much easier to be positive and playful when you're feeling relaxed and beautiful. Your smile and your happiness is your secret weapon.
- Refine your speech by lightening your voice and speaking more softly. Whether you're on a date or ordering a pizza, you will receive more when you turn your feminine charm on high. Cutting down on cursing is also a good idea.
- Let men do things for you, even if you can do it yourself. Everything from opening a jar of tomato sauce to pumping gas in your car. Treat door handles as if you've never contemplated such a contraption in your life. When you act as if you don't need any help, you won't get any.
Going forward, let's manifest a little more Meghan and tap into our feminine power. Let's leave aggression at the office. Let's heal those hurts that cause us to lash out. Being gentle, vulnerable, and soft are our strengths. They will allow you to attract the alpha male that's going to want to protect you, rather than have you forcing a relationship with a dusty you have to take care of. Even if you are married or partnered, matching your man's masculine energy will throw your entire relationship out of balance and leave you wondering where it all went wrong.
Meghan is no different from any of us. We can all reclaim our fairy tale.
Women, and black women especially, absolutely epitomize the divine feminine. We were born with the knowing, we just have to remember how to harness it again. Let the royal wedding be yet another reminder that we ARE wanted, adored, and coveted by the best of the best.
And when we walk in that truth as a healed, happy, confident, feminine women, we can have anything and everything we've ever wanted.
Featured image by Giphy
- What Is Feminine Energy? - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Meghan Markle Mental Health Interview - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
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- Meghan Markle | PEOPLE.com ›
- Meghan Markle's Family - Pictures of Meghan Markle's Parents ... ›
- Prince Harry's bride-to-be - the lowdown on Meghan Markle - CNN ›
Lauren Craig @inawordfab is a former attorney who escaped the corporate grind to pursue her own personal brand of happiness. She is now a full-time writer, TV/radio personality, marketing professional, serial entrepreneur, yogi, Glambassador, and THE TABLE. Join the movement by visiting iamthetable.com.
Exclusive: Gabrielle Union On Radical Transparency, Being Diagnosed With Perimenopause And Embracing What’s Next
Whenever Gabrielle Union graces the movie screen, she immediately commands attention. From her unforgettable scenes in films like Bring It On and Two Can Play That Game to her most recent film, in which she stars and produces Netflix’s The Perfect Find, there’s no denying that she is that girl.
Off-screen, she uses that power for good by sharing her trials and tribulations with other women in hopes of helping those who may be going through the same things or preventing them from experiencing them altogether. Recently, the Flawless by Gabrielle Union founder partnered with Clearblue to speak at the launch of their Menopause Stage Indicator, where she also shared her experience with being perimenopausal.
In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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If you haven’t scrolled upon Olivia McDowell's TikTok famous dinner parties, you may need to reconfigure your "For You Page."
What began as a passion for hosting aesthetically themed meals for her closest friends has quickly become a viral sensation. With an astonishing 12 million viewers, women describe Olivia’s picturesque dinner parties as the “dream girls' night,” complete with classy cocktails, beautiful table settings, elegant outfits, and, most importantly, food plated to perfection.
Seemingly reigniting the feminine urge to host fancy dinner parties, Olivia has perfected the finer details. Overlooking the skyline in her beautiful NYC apartment, she never fails to make her signature handmade pasta dishes while simultaneously looking effortlessly chic in the wardrobe of dreams while doing so.
Replying to @nara0630 what should the theme of my next dinner party be? #minivlog #nycliving #dinnerpartyideas #caviarinnewyork
What I love most about hosting intimate dinners for close friends are the connections and relationships that form over food. They don't require a caviar budget with a high-rise apartment, it just takes determination and a little creativity. Watching Olivia’s journey inspires viewers to be a part of a community of positive and uplifting women who share common interests and tastes in food, fashion, and decor. Simply stated, she’s raising the bar of friendship goals.
If you’re aspiring to host a holiday-themed dinner party this season, check out the four tips that will guide you along the way.
Choose Your Theme
Replying to @emz.life.tsv what was your fav part? 🤍 hope this gives you some inspiration to host a fancy friendsgiving too! #hostingtip #dinnerparty #pastamaking
Set the ambiance with a thoughtful theme, which will indeed be your guiding light for less stress during the planning process. Establishing a theme sets the tone for everything else to fall in place, such as menus, table design, and presentation. For example, a holiday-inspired dinner party is a perfect occasion for elegant all-white decor paired with draped table cloths, pillar candles lit atop luxe holders, floating floral arrangements, and, for a personal touch, handwritten place settings.
Utilizing free resources such as Canva for menu templates and creating a “Dinner Party” moodboard via Pinterest is perfect for gathering dinner inspiration for themes, decor, and recipes for the special occasion.
Simplify the Menu
How to host your own pasta making dinner party — part 1: pasta making from scratch 🤍 Hosting dinner parties has become my favorite thing to do this year. More goes into it than you expect, the prep, planning, guestlist, tablescape, etc. but it’s always worth it in the end. What do you guys want to see next? #hostingtips #dinnerparty #pastamaking
Don’t overcomplicate the menu. A simple dinner party formula to use as your guide to making sure your guests leave full of food and joy is appetizers, salads, entrees, sides, desserts, and beverages. As a starter, assemble an aesthetic spread that your guest can nibble on while awaiting the main course with starters such as bread, cheese, jam, nuts, and fruit. A simple salad will do, complete with a light dressing right before your entree. For a main dish, pasta recipes always go a long way and also allows your guests to interact with one another, which leads to McDowell's third dinner party hosting tip.
Include an Interactive Element
Replying to @itstai.tv 🖤 #girlhood
To break the ice and encourage guests to get to know one another, introduce interactive elements to the evening. Moments of interaction allow everyone to connect, like capturing content for social media or memorializing the essence of the night through fun Polaroids. Olivia also encourages her guests to participate in the pasta-making dinner process as a group, or if hosting a brunch, her friends indulge in building their own coffee bar as an opportunity for forming connections and conversation starters. Group board or card games are also great for laughs and healthy competition to help get the vibes flowing.
Don’t Forget the Dress code
Replying to @samantha_mendiz when all of your friends are the main character 🖤🥂 #dinnerparty #nycfashion
Tis’ the season for glamour and sparkles, so why not go all out with a super chic dress code? You can’t have a picture-perfect holiday dinner party without the coordinating attire to match. When planning, make sure to make the required attire specific yet broad enough for a range of personalities and preferences to comfortably partake while looking stunning doing so.
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Featured image by Justin Lambert/Getty Images