Lizzo is a national treasure that icons like President Obama, Rihanna, Beyoncé, and even The Cookie Monster agree should be protected at all costs.
Sis has been killing the industry lately, giving every one of us the soundtrack to their lives, but little did we know, right after releasing the song responsible for helping women all over the world rediscover bad b*tch running all up in through their genetics, Lizzo almost quit the industry for good.
In the past, my anxiety has had the tendency to make me a poor businesswoman, lover, sister, and even Facebook friend, and according to Lizzo's recent interview withELLE, she can relate to the struggle. Last month, "Truth Hurts" hit No. 1 on the Billboard Top 100, an honor that serves as a momentous occasion for any artist, but for Lizzo, her newfound position among the stars is even more incredible because it is a reminder of the moment she almost gave it all up. In the interview, the 31-year-old singer said:
"I just felt like I was throwing music into the world and not even making a splash. A tree was falling in the forest and not making a sound, you know? I was crying in my room all day. I said, 'If I stop making music now, nobody would fucking care.'"
This cycle of self-doubt wasn't a unique experience for Lizzo, who says that she has been struggling with the insurmountable burden of insecurity since childhood. Before becoming a p*ssy poppin', flute-playing one-woman show, the singer sang with a number of indie girl groups and often questioned her place in the industry:
"I had an insecurity about what a star looks like, or what a front-person looks like. I felt like I was inadequate; I felt like I wasn't enough; I felt like people didn't want to look at me and listen to what I had to say. I felt like I had so much to say, so much on my chest."
Rich Fury/Getty Images
In a candid conversation about the power of emotional honesty, Lizzo let us know that we're not alone in the anxiety struggle and says that the secret to her healing was finding the courage to admit that she wasn't okay. While it's easy to use substances, isolation, and self-loathing fuel your anxiety-fueled pity party, it's much harder to ask for help, something Lizzo was able to find in her producer at the time who showed up with one helluva pep talk. She explained:
"You realize that people truly care about you and they'll help you, and they don't mind helping you. Being in those places is inevitable for me; I'm going to end up there again. But the fact that I'm prepared now to go to those places—and I have a toolbox, and I know I can pull myself out—is really helpful to me in my mental health journey."
The "Juice" singer says that just because she's got her mojo back now, it doesn't mean she's exempt from bad days. According to Lizzo, along with understanding that she doesn't have to do it alone, self-love has been an extremely important part of her mental health journey:
"I take self-love very seriously. And I take it seriously because when I was younger, I wanted to change everything about myself. I didn't love who I was. And the reason I didn't love who I was is because I was told I wasn't lovable by the media, by [people at] school, by not seeing myself in beauty ads, by not seeing myself in television...by lack of representation. My self-hatred got so bad that I was fantasizing about being other people. But you can't live your life trying to be somebody else. What's the point?"
Check out Lizzo's full interview with ELLE here!
Featured image by Rich Fury/Getty Images
- Lizzo Reveals Her Last Heartbreak Pushed Her Into Success ... ›
- Lizzo Overcoming Negative Self-Talk Anxiety - xoNecole: Women's ... ›
- Lizzo Truth Hurts Lyrics - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love ... ›
- Lizzo Almost Quit Music Because Of Depression & She Telling Her ... ›
- Lizzo recalls time she nearly quit music: 'I was like, f--k it, I'm done ... ›
- Lizzo Reveals Why She Nearly Quit Music After Releasing 'Truth Hurts' ›
- Lizzo Interview on Working with Prince, Self-Love, and Nearly Giving ... ›
- Lizzo Reveals Battle With Depression, Almost Quitting Music | Vibe ›
- Lizzo Almost Quit Music After Dropping 'Truth Hurts' - Essence ›
- Lizzo Almost Quit Music After Dropping Breakout Hit 'Truth Hurts ... ›
- Lizzo Almost Gave Up Music After "Truth Hurts" Initially Flopped ... ›
In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images
