Sis has been killing the industry lately, giving every one of us the soundtrack to their lives, but little did we know, right after releasing the song responsible for helping women all over the world rediscover bad b*tch running all up in through their genetics, Lizzo almost quit the industry for good.
In the past, my anxiety has had the tendency to make me a poor businesswoman, lover, sister, and even Facebook friend, and according to Lizzo's recent interview withELLE, she can relate to the struggle. Last month, "Truth Hurts" hit No. 1 on the Billboard Top 100, an honor that serves as a momentous occasion for any artist, but for Lizzo, her newfound position among the stars is even more incredible because it is a reminder of the moment she almost gave it all up. In the interview, the 31-year-old singer said:
"I just felt like I was throwing music into the world and not even making a splash. A tree was falling in the forest and not making a sound, you know? I was crying in my room all day. I said, 'If I stop making music now, nobody would fucking care.'"
This cycle of self-doubt wasn't a unique experience for Lizzo, who says that she has been struggling with the insurmountable burden of insecurity since childhood. Before becoming a p*ssy poppin', flute-playing one-woman show, the singer sang with a number of indie girl groups and often questioned her place in the industry:
"I had an insecurity about what a star looks like, or what a front-person looks like. I felt like I was inadequate; I felt like I wasn't enough; I felt like people didn't want to look at me and listen to what I had to say. I felt like I had so much to say, so much on my chest."
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In a candid conversation about the power of emotional honesty, Lizzo let us know that we're not alone in the anxiety struggle and says that the secret to her healing was finding the courage to admit that she wasn't okay. While it's easy to use substances, isolation, and self-loathing fuel your anxiety-fueled pity party, it's much harder to ask for help, something Lizzo was able to find in her producer at the time who showed up with one helluva pep talk. She explained:
"You realize that people truly care about you and they'll help you, and they don't mind helping you. Being in those places is inevitable for me; I'm going to end up there again. But the fact that I'm prepared now to go to those places—and I have a toolbox, and I know I can pull myself out—is really helpful to me in my mental health journey."
The "Juice" singer says that just because she's got her mojo back now, it doesn't mean she's exempt from bad days. According to Lizzo, along with understanding that she doesn't have to do it alone, self-love has been an extremely important part of her mental health journey:
"I take self-love very seriously. And I take it seriously because when I was younger, I wanted to change everything about myself. I didn't love who I was. And the reason I didn't love who I was is because I was told I wasn't lovable by the media, by [people at] school, by not seeing myself in beauty ads, by not seeing myself in television...by lack of representation. My self-hatred got so bad that I was fantasizing about being other people. But you can't live your life trying to be somebody else. What's the point?"
Check out Lizzo's full interview with ELLE here!
Featured image by Rich Fury/Getty Images