This Is How A Cancer Pairs With Every Zodiac Sign In Love
Cancer is a lover. Ruled by the Moon, this is one of the more sweet, devoted, caring, and emotional signs of the Zodiac. Cancers are no strangers to romance or the dynamics of a relationship, and this is a person who exemplifies a lot of what it takes to be a partner. They value their relationships in a way that makes others feel safe and taken care of, and they love to show their love through physical touch and acts of service.
Cancer In Love & Relationships
Cancers wear their heart on their sleeve, and they are highly in tune with their emotions. This makes their relationship world a unique one, and they form bonds that are deep, committed, and thoughtful. Cancers tend to fall in love easily, but they will always have a plan at the end of the day. Their long-term goals in love are a forever type of relationship, and once they find that person, they are one of the most loving, affectionate, and sincere partners to have.
Being with a Cancer can either feel like true love or an emotional rollercoaster. With Cancer being a sensitive soul, a partner who can honor their emotions, understand where they are coming from, and balance them out like a Taurus, Scorpio, or Virgo, makes a good match for Cancer. However, someone like a Sagittarius or Gemini may find Cancer all too much to handle. Cancer loves hard, but they hurt even harder and can act emotionally irrationally if they don’t feel safe or loved in a relationship.
Cancer Love Compatibility: Best & Worst Love Matches in the Zodiac
Cancer is known for their loyalty and devotion, but with their ability to love so quickly, they can also get themselves into some messy situations if they are not evolved in love. An evolved Cancer is the type of partner you dream about from a young age, however, and someone who is willing to love and take care of you forever.
Who Are Cancers Most Compatible With?
Cancer + Aries Love Compatibility
Cancer and Aries are a dynamic duo. There is something about these two cardinal signs that just works at the end of the day. That isn’t to say everything is always perfect with this pairing, as when it’s bad here- it’s bad; however, if Cancer were to be with any fire sign, it’d be Aries. Aries picks up where Cancer leaves off. Cancer likes to handle the basics, build a nice home, and create a safe and loving atmosphere for the relationship. Aries is the initiator that makes things happen in the relationship, pushes things forward, and creates adventure. Aries initiates, and Cancer stabilizes, and they both provide what is needed for a relationship. These two are often very loyal to each other and the relationship they form.
Cancer + Taurus Love Compatibility
Cancer and Taurus are soulmates. Cancer does well with earth signs such as Taurus, and these two have a lot in common. These are two signs who are both concerned with stability, loyalty, and devotion in a relationship, and they are both willing to give each other this energy. This is the type of couple who likes to spend time at home, cook dinner together, keep things low-key, and is focused on building a life of luxury and comfort together. They easily fall into each other's lives, and it’s not difficult for them to see the commitment growing long-term. These two are people who are meant to be and who often end up walking down the aisle.
Cancer + Gemini Love Compatibility
Cancer and Gemini are not your typical match, and these two can feel that right away. These are people that are coming from opposite ends of the mind, and although they are right next to each other on the Zodiac Wheel, that’s about where their compatibility ends. This is a relationship that may be better left off in the working environment, friendship setting, or business-type atmosphere. Gemini helps Cancer see what their values are and what they want in life and is there to give them a boost of confidence. These two have fun learning more about each other, but at the end of the day, it often doesn’t go past that.
Cancer + Cancer Love Compatibility
Cancer and Cancer together create an emotional whirlwind of a relationship. The good thing about being with someone with the same sign as you is that there is an underlying understanding of each other that you don’t find in some other pairings. These are two people who live by their hearts and who are not afraid to express their emotions or where they currently are with each other. They are both very caring toward one another, however, the thing with Cancer is their emotions can go from here to there, and if these two are in different moods and not on the same page emotionally, it can turn into chaos. Two water signs together either turn out beautiful or messy, and there is no in-between here.
Cancer + Leo Love Compatibility
Cancer and Leo are the moon and the sun of the zodiac, so there is a unique compatibility here. This is the energy of the divine feminine and divine masculine coming together as one, and they feel like they each have space to be themselves in the relationship. Leo admires the support that Cancer gives and brings into the relationship, and Cancer feels enamored by Leo’s warm light. This is a relationship that can be very healing for both of them and one where they often have a deep spiritual connection. However, at the end of the day, their differences may be too strong to keep things together in the long run, and it can be hard to find a mutual common ground here and common interests.
Cancer + Virgo Love Compatibility
Cancer and Virgo form a sweet, devoted couple. These two are a lot similar when it comes to who they are in a romantic relationship, and they are both givers. They love to be there for each other, and Cancer admires Virgo's selflessness, as this is a characteristic they see in themselves as well. This is a relationship that is often formed through friendship first, and these two typically meet while out socializing, through mutual friends, or on the internet. They are immediately drawn to each other, and Virgo loves how seemingly perfect they are in the eyes of Cancer. With Virgo's logic and Cancer’s heart, these two in a relationship are couple goals.
Cancer + Libra Love Compatibility
Cancer and Libra are a duo that works when it works and doesn’t when it doesn’t. Physically, these two are often attracted to each other, but when it comes time to form a deeper bond, it can be hard for Libra to meet Cancer at the emotional level they are looking for. Libra likes to keep things light and go with the flow. Cancer doesn’t mind this energy but needs a love they can grasp. Libra is hard to pin down, and after some time, Cancer may get tired of trying to make something of the relationship when Libra is not matching the effort. At the end of the day, however, these signs are lovers, and the love they have can overcome this and make a relationship work.
Cancer + Scorpio Love Compatibility
Cancer and Scorpio are a match made in heaven when things are going well. These two have strong compatibility and create their own world together. Scorpio being the risk taker they are, feels like Cancer’s emotional world is a risk in itself, and whereas other people may be turned off by this type of energy, Scorpio is intrigued. Cancer feels safe with Scorpio, knowing they can be exactly who they are and be loved for it. Things can be shaky in the long run, however, as they both tend to jump into the relationship head first. Overall, they have a relationship that's loving, intuitive, and loyal, and if they can get over the emotional rollercoasters, then this will be a successful pairing.
Cancer + Sagittarius Love Compatibility
Cancer and Sagittarius are an odd pairing. This is one of Cancer’s least compatible partners, as well as Gemini and Aquarius. This relationship tends to work better in the working world or a business partnership, but when it comes to romance, Sagittarius likes to run, and Cancer is not one to chase. Cancer is all about home base and security and needs some type of stability in a relationship. Sagittarius is always off on the next adventure and typically lives a life that Cancer is not fond of. It can make it difficult to form a happy partnership, as they both want to do different things at different times. Nothing is impossible, however, especially when it comes to Sagittarius, and if they are willing to make things work, then anything can happen.
Cancer + Capricorn Love Compatibility
Cancer and Capricorn are often described in Astrology as the Mom and the Dad. Cancer is ruled by the Moon, which represents the feminine mother energy. Capricorn is ruled by Saturn, which represents the masculine father energy. So, you can see how these two make a good match. Capricorn is everything Cancer is looking for in love, and their compatibility is strong. They both share a lot of the same values and need for stability in life, and they know what each other needs to make a relationship work because they both need a lot of the same things. Their strengths and weaknesses complement each other well, and these two have a lot of synergy together.
Cancer + Aquarius Love Compatibility
Cancer and Aquarius like to push each other’s buttons. This isn’t a pairing that gets along right away or forms an immediate bond. Aquarius is interested in everything and everyone, so it’s not that Cancer doesn’t intrigue them, but Cancer’s ability to wear their emotions on their sleeve is something Aquarius doesn’t do well with. Aquarius has a broad mind, but Cancer is looking for a more emotional connection than a mental one, and this is where their major differences are. However, both of these signs have a level of compassion and understanding for each other that gives them a basic appreciation for the relationship. Aquarius can help Cancer get out of their shell and experience more life and people, and Cancer can help Aquarius get into their heart more and experience the beauty of their inner world.
Cancer + Pisces Love Compatibility
Cancer and Pisces are both best friends and lovers. They have a lot of fun together and feel an immediate heart-based connection form once they meet. These are two people who don’t easily see faults in one another, and they tend to get into a relationship together rather quickly with rose-colored glasses. Once some stronger or deeper emotions arise in the relationship, things can change just as quickly as they began, however, balance and groundedness are extremely important in a water/water sign relationship to make things work. Overall, this is one of Cancers' best matches. They have a connection with mind, body, soul, and heart, and something like that is hard to beat.
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- Cancer Man And Libra Woman Love Compatibility ›
- Libra Man And Cancer Woman Love Compatibility ›
- Cancer Woman And Virgo Man Love Compatibility ›
Tayler Barakat is a Mystic who has studied Astrology for over a decade. She does intuitive astrology and tarot readings for people all over the world, and her work focuses on healing and empowering individuals. Follow her on Instagram @taylerbarakat_ and check out her website www.listentothevirgo.com.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Navigating Dating When Emotionally Unavailable & Detached: My Journey Back To Feeling
The last time I came with a dating story, I told you I got my little feelings hurt in 2021. I called myself trying to be out in these streets entertaining a man in a different area code, city, and state — only for homeboy to play in my damn face. So, I went and gave y’all "8 Rules To Casual Dating Every Woman Should Know This Summer." You’re welcome. Fast forward to 2024, and I am now coming to you from a more mature and intentional place. We’re not in summer yet, but I truly believe what blooms in spring, thrives in summer.
2023 was my year, and it was my turn. I had just completed an 8-month holistic detox. The glow-up was real and well-deserved. The way I have poured into myself is unmatched. Let me tell you, self-love is a love you have never known. After a five-year healing journey, I finally felt like myself again, and I was ready to play. My heart was open, my mind was clear, and my body hella transformed. I had told all my friends that I was ready to explore dating again, and at the height of summer, I did exactly just that.
This time I decided I wanted to take my time. I wanted to date the “right way” or the “healthy way.” You know, keep your options open, ask the right questions, believe actions and not words, observe patterns and pay attention to red, yellow, and green flags. I was never the dating app type of girl. I sincerely miss everything about human connection and dating from 2000 to 2012. Can we please bring all of that back into 2024? I prefer to feel a man’s energy and presence in real-time. Nonetheless, I still chose to dabble with a few dating apps. I was all the way outside and dating for practice.
Unfortunately, with today’s dating culture, social climate, and how some of these men move and/or behave, these dates were a dead end. Not one guy made it to my roster. What these men were was benched this season – not one of them could be my first-round select draft pick. It didn't seem like anyone I met was interested in a serious relationship. And it’s completely fine. Miss me with the ghosting, lack of effort, inconsistency, and poor communication. I continued to just do me because what is for me will not miss me.
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The universe must have heard me talking because I had specifically told my closest girlfriends that I wanted to meet someone who lived in the vicinity, no more than twenty minutes away, and no more long distance. And I did meet him (it’s crazy how I manifest exactly what I want). As we started to get to know each other, I liked his energy and effort. I liked the direction it seemed to be going to the point my girlfriends had to tell me not to run from him. Because every part of me wanted to run from something that seemed normal.
I liked what he was coming with until I became uncomfortable with my own feelings, and I didn’t know how to communicate them to him.
With that said, I knew if I truly wanted to experience the truest of loves, a reciprocal, requited love, and be in a healthy relationship this story had to come to a pause. What I didn’t know was that he was going to show me things I didn’t know I needed to work on. I didn’t know he inadvertently was going to help me continue to heal parts of me that were hidden.
As someone who has learned to self-heal, I am no longer the type that runs from herself. I am here for the growth.
The truth is I am emotionally detached from myself, and I am not actively dating at the moment. I am the one that has to work on herself. My reiki healer called it, too – she told me this year would not be a year for a relationship, but a year of continuous growth. And now I see why. After all the healing work I have done thus far – I am an unemotional mess. How?
At my big age of 39, I struggle to communicate my wants and needs.
I still struggle to communicate and process uncomfortable feelings. I would rather give myself anxiety, act nonchalantly, emotionally react, and choose non-communication when I am bothered with someone than address the issue (I will later explain why). I have been ignoring my feelings for so long it has become a habit, a defense mechanism, and more so a trauma response.
If you are someone like me who grew up in a household that didn’t discuss feelings, your emotional needs were unmet, and you don’t feel safe to share your feelings – emotional detachment is quite common.
Oftentimes, we always talk about men being emotionally unavailable, but what if it’s a woman who is emotionally unavailable or emotionally detached? How does she navigate herself, dating, or being in a relationship? As I navigate my emotions this season, let’s explore what it means to be emotionally detached, the signs of detachment, and how to reconnect with yourself emotionally.
Emotional Unavailability vs. Emotional Detachment
When we look at the terminology emotional unavailability and emotional detachment, one might argue that the two terms are interchangeable and have the same meaning. One could also argue that both terms mean that some people are not in tune with their emotions or lack the emotional capacity to be responsive to someone else’s emotions. Fair enough. However, there is a big difference. The definition of emotional unavailability is described as people who have difficulty with sharing their emotions and being receptive to the emotions of those around them.
According to Verywell Mind, signs of emotional unavailability can look like being distant or cold, lack of closeness, and emotional intimacy in relationships, inability to understand and relate to others’ feelings, defensiveness when asked to change or let others in, tendency to shut down or avoid topics that require emotional openness, or withdrawal from people or situations that provoke emotional reactions.
Whereas emotional detachment is defined as the inability to or willingness to connect with others on an emotional level. Furthermore, Psychology Today states emotional detachment can also mean that people do not engage with their feelings. Exhibit A – me. Emotional detachment has various causes – past neglect, childhood or adult trauma, PTSD, depression, personality disorder, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, or, in some cases, medication (i.e. antidepressants). It is important to note emotional detachment is a complex issue. For someone like me, it’s a coping mechanism.
It is easier for me to ignore uncomfortable feelings to protect myself from stress or getting hurt. Hence, my nonchalant demeanor. It is also true for some people it is a reaction to trauma, abuse, and unprocessed emotions. Exhibit B – me. As it is difficult for me to open up about my feelings at the moment. On the contrary – emotional detachment can be helpful in navigating some situations like listening to people’s opinions and gossip.
Unfortunately, emotional detachment is not a behavior that can be turned on and off at will. Please note that emotional detachment is NOT a mental health diagnosis but can be a symptom of a mental health condition such as an attachment disorder. And if you know anything about attachment theory, it is related to the relationship we develop in our childhood with our primary caregivers.
Signs You're Emotionally Detached
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According to Psychology Today and Verywell Mind, general signs of emotional detachment can look like difficulty showing empathy to others, sharing emotions, committing to a relationship, feeling numb, poor listening skills, lack of self-esteem, preferring to be alone, struggling to feel positive emotions, inability to identify emotions, lack of physical, verbal, or sexual contact and losing touch with people or maintaining connections.
In a romantic relationship, emotional detachment shows up as you or your partner not being available for connection, poor communication, or reduced affection.
For me, my experience with emotional detachment is collective. I am an empath to my core. I don’t have a problem relating to other’s feelings or circumstances. I don’t have commitment issues, nor do I have an issue connecting with others or maintaining those connections. I struggle with sharing emotions, at least the negative ones.
Due to the emotional abuse from my childhood and a toxic relationship, I learned sharing emotions just wasn't the safe thing to do. As a survivor of trauma, I learned to suppress feeling negative emotions in general as a form of protection.
How To Reconnect To Your Emotions When You're Emotionally Unavailable
Serious Kid Cudi GIF by Apple MusicGiphyExploring my emotional side in-depth started late last year simply by noticing my reaction to something that he did. I didn’t know how to properly communicate to him how I was feeling or what he did bothered me in the moment. So, I swallowed my feelings and said absolutely nothing. I intentionally chose to avoid the issue. I chose to rationalize the situation instead of acknowledging that my feelings at the time were valid. I chose to act like everything was all good because it was all good.
“It wasn’t that deep to begin with” is what I told myself. And this is where the problem lies.
The saying is true, “What happens in your childhood shows up in your adult relationships.” I came to realize that because I was not able to express my feelings as a child, I struggled to process them. I either hold back my feelings, take a long time to say how I feel, or don’t say anything at all. This is because I fear people will walk away from me like my mother did if I share what I truly feel. I fear my feelings won’t be validated, or they will be rejected.
With that said, I was completely unaware that I was emotionally detached from myself until recently. So, here we are with this article. It all started by reading Instagram’s @theholisticpsychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera’s newest book How to Be the Love You Seek: Break Cycles, Find Peace, and Heal Your Relationships, which was released on November 28, 2023. As I read through the first chapter, I became triggered.
How Dr. LePera describes her childhood with her parents and experiences with her romantic partners somewhat mirrored my experiences with my own parents and relationships. As Dr. LaPera stated in her book, I have no issue showing up for others or meeting their needs and wants. But when it comes to expressing my own needs and wants – I cannot or I don’t. This is mainly due to my hyper-independence.
At an early age, I learned to show up for myself because the people I trusted to show up for me failed. Given my home environment, I had internalized it is not safe to talk about feelings. I never knew my emotional responses and behavior were abnormal. But because I am willing to continue to do my inner work, I know that I can reconnect to my emotions, and undo four decades of repressed emotions.
If you are someone like me who struggles with emotional connection with yourself and others, here is how you go about it:
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1. Know Your Attachment Style
For me, the first step was to understand my attachment style. I asked my therapist if she could help me identify my attachment style to understand my triggers. She recommended The Attachment Theory Workbook by Annie Chen, LMFT. My therapist administered the associated online quiz – Attachment Quiz. If you haven’t figured out my attachment style yet by reading this article, I have an anxious attachment style.
This means I don’t do well with inconsistent behavior, especially from men (but I’m the type that holds men to standards too). People with an anxious attachment style have a need to feel close to their partner. It may come across as “clingy” or “needy.” However, this same need is often driven by fear of abandonment, mistrust, and low self-esteem. I would say knowing your attachment style is helpful because you can work towards having a secure attachment style (with practice) in your relationships – familial, business, work, platonic, or romantic.
2. Become Self-Aware
Most people who are not in the practice of self-care or self-healing are unaware of their triggers, patterns, and behaviors. We are so caught up in the daily minutiae of life that we forget to pay attention to the most important part of our days — ourselves. As Dr. LePera says, make it a conscious habit to pause throughout your day to check in with yourself. Ask yourself:
- How does my body feel?
- What am I doing right now?
- Am I present?
- Am I distracted and lost with other thoughts?
- What do I think or feel when I recall a specific experience with someone?
- What do I think or worry about?
- What would happen if I shared my authentic thoughts, perspective, feelings right now?”
This is what Dr. LePera refers to as exploring your embodied self or fulfilling your authentic needs in chapter two of her book. Consistent mindfulness and self-awareness are key to self-discovery and in any healing journey. Learning to focus on the present moment also includes paying attention to our emotional response to an event or how we think about emotions in general.
3. Practice Vulnerability
The idea of vulnerability is a tough one for me and so many other women for countless reasons. Whether it be toxic family, friendships, relationships, or trauma – trusting others with your thoughts and feelings is not easy. As much as I am open and transparent, I am not as vulnerable. And I believe there is so much power in the duality to be both. To trust someone, let alone a man with your authentic self is a delicate matter.
But it is emotional vulnerability that allows us humans to build authentic connections, create stronger relationships, and break down emotional walls. Emotional vulnerability is not something to be rushed – it takes time and practice from you and the people you choose to have in your life. Medical News Today suggests that we can learn to be vulnerable by opening up more to our closest friends, building our ability to become more trusting, and developing skills to regulate our emotions.
4. Seek Therapy
I have been in therapy for six years and counting. I would consider therapy one of my safe spaces. I am one of those individuals who recommend therapy to everyone as it has given me the tools and resources I need to navigate my life challenges. By choosing to get help, I was able to put my PTSD and depression in remission for four years now. I have also learned how to manage my anxiety.
I am fully aware that in this season of my life requires me to do the work to unlock new levels of self. And any time where I have consciously chosen growth – the universe or life has not failed me. I was able to heal my body, my heart, and my spirit. Now, it’s time to heal my inner child, this hurt little girl who lives in me.
I will say choosing a therapist is similar to dating; you might go through a few potentials until you find a therapist you connect with. Actually, one of my lifelong friends said to me the other day, “Your relationship with your therapist is one of the most important relationships in your life.” I needed her to say that, and I needed to hear it because it’s true. You are essentially trusting a licensed stranger to help you navigate your life on so many levels.
Be picky and ask the questions. Cut the cord at the first red flag given. Again, let me reiterate that emotional detachment is not a mental health diagnosis. It can be treated with the help of a therapist. Emotional detachment only becomes a problem when it starts to interfere with your daily life. Pay attention to changes in your daily behavior and make decisions to cope accordingly.
I am genuinely excited about reconnecting with my emotions. I want to feel all the feels – good, bad, and indifferent. I want to cry all the tears – especially the sad ones. I want to process and release negative emotions. I want to say how I feel in the moment with no fear.
If you are that girl who struggles with emotional connection or thinks you're emotionally detached, I hope that you become willing to face your inner child and show up for her. Don’t run – she has been waiting for you.
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