

It is actually the late and great Muhammad Ali who once said something that is super valid about friendship: “Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.”
Yeah, if you truly value what it means to have even just one true friend, you know that a big part of life consists of doing what you can to nurture and maintain that friendship — and honestly, that is a “class” that you will probably be in for the rest of your life because learning how to love well is something that you never fully “graduate” from.
My tribe? It took a lot of life lessons for me to get to the point and place where I know what they need from me, and I make sure that I don’t become — let’s go with the word “lethargic” when it comes to how I treat and honor them. Because my friends are spiritual, solid, and reliable, I make a consistent effort to do what I can to strengthen the bond. And, over the past few years, that has consisted of the following six things.
1. Plan Friend Dates
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Again, although it took me a while to figure out what a good friend looks and lives like, I am so happy to say that my circle is tight, and my understanding is now crystal clear. I think what finally shed the brightest light on it all was when my house basically blew up three days before Christmas. Nothing reveals who has you more than when you have basically nothing, and it’s inconvenient for others to take care of you in the midst of their own ish (check out “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient'”). And now that I’m pretty “locked in for the long haul” with the peeps who I have in my world at this point and place in my life, I have learned that it’s important to “date” them.
I don’t mean random link-ups when both of us are bored; I mean that my friends and I have made the time to figure out what each of us enjoys, and then we will treat one another on a fairly consistent basis based on whatever those things happen to be. After all, isn’t a date about spending intentional quality time with another person in order to 1) learn more about them and 2) show them how much they mean to you? Why should a friendship be exempt from that type of experience?
For instance, although I’m not the biggest traveler, many of my friends are. What I am, though, is a "words of affirmation" person (check out “This Is How To Apply Love Languages To Your Friendships”). That said, a few months ago, one of my closest friends asked me to go on a road trip with her. The trip itself was kind of for her; however, at the event that we attended, she shouted me out for something that I had helped her to accomplish — and that was for me.
I know that girl loves me; she has proved it a billion times over at this point. Yet that “friend date” did bring us closer to each other in some ways because I made the sacrifice to go, and she was intentional about speaking my love language to me while I was there.
So yes, beyond just randomly getting together for drinks and/or dinner, actually get creative and thoughtful when planning an official friend date. It’s a meaningful way to let your friends know just how much you mean to them.
2. Express Gratitude Regularly
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A visual artist by the name of Alfred Painter once said, “Saying ‘thank you’ is more than good manners. It is good spirituality." Another wise person once said, “Gratitude turns what we have into enough.” An author by the name of G.B. Stern once said, “Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone.” With all of these quotes in mind, be honest — when’s the last time that you expressed real gratitude to your friends?
When did you tell one of them “thank you” for being readily available when you needed some quick advice and you knew they were busy? When have you mailed a Hallmark card that includes a couple of paragraphs about what another friend means to you? When have you made the time to tell someone else that you know you have taken them for granted lately, and you just want to take a moment to acknowledge how much you treasure them?
One of my friends is good at sending cards and/or flowers out of the blue. I adore that about her because it definitely makes me feel…hell, seen. On the flip, she’s a shoe person — BIG TIME. A place that is almost like crack for me is Etsy, and a couple of months ago, a pair of shoes kept on popping up in my feed. They weren’t my style or the cheapest, yet I knew she’d adore them, and so, instead of getting something that I wanted at the time, I copped her the heels instead. She was thrilled and hella grateful — and that confirmed even more that it was the right move to make.
Another friend of mine? I don’t know if anyone is more “quality time driven” than she is. One day, out of the blue, I asked what she was doing; she said nothing, and so we met up for brunch. Chile, I ended up not leaving her side of town until almost 8 p.m. I knew that was a possibility when I made the date, though. That was months ago, and she still talks about how much that meant to her. Making the time was worth it because it was important to her to have/get it.
I’m telling you, live on this planet long enough and you’ll realize that if you have even a couple of solid friends, you are beyond blessed. Also, if you live long enough, as Chris Rock’s character said in the movieI Think I Love My Wife, life isn’t really all that short; it’s actually kinda long (if you’re lucky). And so, just like a car needs fuel for a long journey, the friends who you want to keep long-term, they need your expression of gratitude. It’s how they feel recognized, appreciated, and truly loved by you.
3. Take Friendship Inventory (on Yourself)
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Any time the topic of relationships comes up and someone asks for some solid reading material, I’m almost always going to mention the bookSafe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't (Cloud/Townsend). One of my favorite things about it is, that not only is it a quick read that helps you to understand who is safe in your life, but it also turns around and holds you accountable by helping you to understand if you, also, are a safe person to be around — because really, how can you be a good friend if you’re not a safe one?
To be safe is to be dependable. To be safe is to be trustworthy. To be safe means that being involved with you comes with very little risk of hurt or harm. To be safe means that you cherish others, you want to protect what you and others share within your friendships, and you will do whatever is necessary to keep them out of harm’s way (as far as you are concerned).
Y’all, please don’t get me started on how there is a huge difference between loving someone and them being a safe space for you. Growing up, I was surrounded by a lot of unsafe people, and honestly, in some ways, that caused me to be unsafe in some ways as well. These days, my friends are like, “You’re almost too damn safe” (LOL) because I’m very cautious in how I move and even disclosing who I am friends with. I have learned the hard way that who I consider to be my people, they need to feel sheltered, safeguarded, and secure in our relationship. Yours should, too.
So yes, if you want to be a better friend to your friends, at least a couple of times a year, ponder what it means to be a friend, ask your friends if you are providing them with what they need from you and, more than anything, ask your own self if you are being what it literally means to be “safe” in their lives. Friendships are too important to just assume that you are being what someone needs; taking inventory reminds you to ask.
4. Set and/or Reevaluate Boundaries. Twice a Year.
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When it comes to boundaries in relationships, Brené Brown once said, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.” Adding to that, one of my favorite quotes on boundaries is, “If someone throws a fit because you set boundaries, it’s just more evidence that the boundary is needed.” Listen, at the end of the day, all boundaries are, are limits, and I don’t care how close you are to someone (even if you’re married to them or they are your children), you need to be prepared to state boundaries and respect boundaries.
Case in point. I’m not sure if it’s because I grew up in an entertainment industry home, I got my start as an entertainment journalist, I live in Music City, or all of the above, yet even though I was intentional about turning down certain opportunities to become “famous,” a good portion of my world has those types of people in it. Shoot, just due to their scheduling alone, we have to realign boundaries from time to time.
For instance, one of my closest friends on the planet, his schedule is so insane that, although we used to talk, hell, even more than once a day, in this season, we have to schedule a lunch hangout once or twice a month and maybe a text or two within the week. The boundary is I need to respect his mental and emotional bandwidth because there is so much that is currently on his plate. I need to remember that even though I have access to him in ways that many others do not, I don’t need to take advantage of that in any way. Make sense?
It's so sad and yet oh so true that a lot of friendships go through more bumps in the road than they should, and it’s all because 1) boundaries aren’t set; 2) boundaries aren’t clearly articulated, or 3) boundaries have changed and somebody has a problem with it.
Listen, it will save you a lot of unnecessary drama and completely avoidable stress if you learn to fully accept that love — all forms of love — comes with boundaries, and when you love someone, you’ve got to express love, in part, by respecting and honoring what their boundaries may be (as they do the same thing for you).
5. Forgive. Repent. Rinse and Repeat.
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Honestly, in my opinion, one of the most delusional, arrogant things that you can do is not forgive a person. From a biblical standpoint, forgiving someone puts you in the position to be forgiven by God (Matthew 6:14-15).From a health standpoint, forgiveness reduces stress and anxiety, improves the state of your mental health, boosts your immunity, gives you a stronger sense of self, and helps keep your heart strong.
From a relationship standpoint, it makes you a lot easier to get along with. Why? Because — at the end of the day, forgiving someone means that you are willing to pardon another person for their offenses because you are humble and self-aware enough to know that someday (probably sooner than you think) you’re going to need someone to forgive you. Yeah, only people who are egomaniacs believe that they won’t ever need forgiveness, and so they should withhold it from other people.
So, why do folks struggle with the concept of forgiving so much? I believe that it’s simply because of how poorly forgiveness has been taught. Releasing the pain, bitterness, and/or walls that have developed as the result of what someone has done to you doesn’t mean that you don’t provide consequences for the behavior (especially if the individuals are cyclic in their actions, show no remorse and/or prove to be toxic). However, if someone is truly your friend, you shouldn’t be hesitant, let alone afraid, to forgive them, because, at the end of the day, their track record with you has proven that whatever hurt or disappointment they caused you, it came from being human not from being malicious.
There have been some things that I have forgiven (which includes not bringing it up over and over again) and some things that I have been forgiven of — and yes, it has made my friendships stronger. Because when someone values what you bring into their life enough to pardon something that you did, how can that not make the connection between the two of you closer? You wanna strengthen your friendships? Definitely learn how to forgive…better.
6. Be Flexible
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I’m pretty sure that, at this point, we’re all super familiar with the saying, “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” And while there is a good amount of truth to that, I’ve watched enough relationships — good ones — go down in flames, and it really had nothing to do with the season being up. It was because one or both individuals weren’t very flexible with one another.
Example: say that you have a friend who you used to talk to all of the time. I mean, it could be noon or midnight; you both were on the phone for hours at a time. Then she gets into a serious relationship and you don’t chat it up as much as you used to. Then she gets engaged, and it’s even less. Flexibility processes all of this as, “My friend has other priorities now, which means that we need to find a new normal.” (And if your friend values you, they will do just that.) Inflexibility says, “I guess we’re not meant to be close friends anymore.” See the difference?
It really is beyond unrealistic to think that you can be friends with someone and that things are never going to change. The reality is, so long as both of you are growing and evolving, you’re going to have to get used to the needs within the relationship by doing the same. Flexible people adjust and keep their friendships as a direct result; inflexible folks tend to go from person to person with no real lasting friendships intact.
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A wise person once said, "True friends are great riches." When you get a moment, think about what your friends mean to you and what you can do to help strengthen your bond with them. Because if there is one investment that is always going to be worth your while, it’s pouring into your peeps — your true and always real friendships.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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How Your Rising Sign Is The Key To Unlocking More Financial Abundance In Your Life
Abundance is a mindset and it's one you can obtain more effortlessly by knowing your birth chart. Your birth chart in Astrology reflects your cosmic blueprint for this lifetime and maps out things for you like your purpose, destiny, and financial potential. There are key ways to earn income or increase your finances and Astrology helps you dive into that. By knowing your financial strengths, weaknesses, and gifts, you can enhance the abundance surrounding you and align yourself more with what resonates.
In Astrology, there are a few areas of your birth chart that signify what your financial world looks like and have the potential to look at as well. Your 2nd house, rules your finances, personal income, and values, your 8th house rules your shared finances and the money you receive from partnerships or through marriage, and your 11th house rules your hopes and dreams, manifestations, and what you have accumulated through your career or business. The sign Venus also represents finances and luxury, and the placement of this planet is key to understanding your financial purpose as well.
We each come into this life with specific skill sets and perspectives that have the potential to help us live the life of our dreams and fulfill our intentions. By understanding where you tend to naturally thrive in life, you open the door to financial freedom and empowerment. What the stars say about your financial potential is the inspiration you need to walk through that door.
Read for your rising sign below to see how to unlock your key to abundance.
How Your Rising Sign Unlocks Abundance
ARIES RISING
Your key to unlocking abundance involves creating concrete, long-term, financial plans. With Taurus in the 2nd house, you have a natural gift for money and you know how to build something from the ground up. You create beauty, love, and stability in the world, and your ability to make people feel comfortable will help you financially succeed. Taurus in the 2nd house are collectors as well, and you have a good eye.
With Scorpio in your 8th house, the partnerships and connections you form help you increase your income and earnings. It’s not about overly relying on others financially, but knowing there is support there for you when you need it. Your financial potential overall involves how much you are dedicating yourself to your dreams and doing things that will provide stability and security in your life.
TAURUS RISING
As a Taurus Rising, you have Gemini in the 2nd house, and there are a lot of different avenues in which you can earn an income. You will most likely have multiple streams of income in fact, and your capacity to learn, grow, and expand financially is endless.
You thrive in communication, publication, and collaborative worlds, and your networking abilities will help you succeed in life.
By educating yourself and expanding your mind, you can use this knowledge to help you connect, sell, and raise awareness to others. With Pisces in the 11th house, you have lucky Jupiter helping you make your dreams come true and creating miracles in your life. No one sees things the way you do, use this to your advantage when it comes to your finances and goals here.
GEMINI RISING
For you, you are more emotionally tied to your finances and sense of stability than most. With Cancer in your 2nd house, you have a strong intuition regarding money matters, but you may also feel like things fluctuate a lot for you here. Your key to unlocking your personal abundance comes by finding the things that you hold value in, thinking about your purpose and the legacy you want to leave behind, and owning your nurturing abilities.
You are a natural caregiver, creator, and protector, and can thrive in roles such as these. Cancer in the 2nd house also shows an ability to earn through real estate, antiques, or investments. With Capricorn in the 8th house, your logic will help you execute your plans and goals, and you are always thinking one step ahead. People may underestimate you often, use this to your advantage.
CANCER RISING
As a Cancer Rising, you thrive when you are able to take charge and lead your creative efforts. With Leo in the 2nd house, you are a charismatic soul and you are meant to take center stage in life. Your creativity, confidence, and courage will set you apart from others, and you will financially succeed in roles where you have some type of authority or can express yourself freely.
With Aquarius in the 8th house, you may also find your financial power when it comes to technology or social media. You are a natural influencer and people want to know what you think about things and what your current obsessions are. You are the star of the show, remembering that is your key to unlocking your abundance in this lifetime.
LEO RISING
You have Virgo in the 2nd house, and unlocking your key to abundance involves getting organized, sticking to a routine, and doing things that benefit others or society in some way. You are typically found in roles that involve being of service and you also have a gift with your words. Careers such as writing, speaking, publishing, health roles, and healing treatments all serve you well.
With Gemini in the 11th house as well, you have a gift for networking, communication, building a group or a team, and succeeding in your collaborative efforts. Don’t let your need for perfection take you away from your potential regarding your ability to connect with others and build something inspiring. Your vision, partnerships, selfless attitude, and creativity will help you financially succeed.
VIRGO RISING
As a Virgo Rising, you are a hard worker and have a lot of beauty and wisdom to share with the world. You have Libra in the 2nd house, signifying a creative soul and someone who can earn an income through art, interior design, fashion, or therapeutic and beauty practices.
You have a gift when it comes to creating things appealing to the eye, and you resonate with the more luxurious spheres of life.
Aries in the 8th house signifies a drive to succeed, and you financially move through a lot of transformations in this lifetime that lead you closer to your dreams. Creating a business that you are passionate about or being a part of a legacy that creates something beautiful for the world, helps you financially succeed in life.
LIBRA RISING
Financially, you evolve over time. The key here for you with Scorpio in the 2nd house, is to trust your intuition when it comes to what to invest in and what to spend your time and energy on. Know that with any setback you may encounter financially, you will rise above more abundantly and successfully. You have a unique way of understanding the undercurrents and concept of money, use this to your advantage.
With Leo in the 11th house, you succeed when you are confident, standing out from the crowd, and doing things that feel authentic and natural for you. You are meant to shine and inspire others through your charisma, personality, and strong intuition.
SCORPIO RISING
With a Scorpio Rising, you have Sagittarius in the 2nd, and financial freedom is very important to you in this lifetime. You are working towards building a legacy for yourself through your wisdom, knowledge, and quest for understanding. You inspire others in your own unique way, and this is a placement for many teachers or guides in this world.
Virgo in the 11th house reminds you to get clear on the things you want for yourself and the plans or dedication it will take to get there. Your intelligence and your capacity to see all perspectives and express yourself in a grounded way is what is going to unlock your key to abundance.
SAGITTARIUS RISING
Financially, you have a lot of potential to succeed in this lifetime. With Capricorn in your 2nd house of income, you are business-savvy and have a knack for money. You know what the world needs more of, and you are the one to provide it. Through your work ethic and need to succeed, you are someone who can be found in higher positions within a business or company.
Cancer in the 8th house also shows that you find financial empowerment by dedicating yourself to a cause or career that holds deep importance for you and your heart. The people you meet along the way are also key to recognizing your dreams and financial abundance.
CAPRICORN RISING
As a Capricorn Rising, you have Aquarius in the 2nd house which shows a gift in community, networking, and social media. You are a trendsetter and are ahead of time when it comes to trends, fashion, and ideals. You have a unique vision and ability to succeed in this lifetime through your manifestation potential.
With Scorpio in the 11th house, you can build a team or an organization and lead yourself and others to success. Your acquaintances and friendships throughout life will help you meet the right people and get the right opportunities. You always need to be thinking big when it comes to your finances, and know that you have what it takes to succeed.
AQUARIUS RISING
For you, financial success comes from your imagination and your hope for it all. With Pisces in the 2nd house, you view your financial world through a spiritual and creative lens, and the opportunities for you in this lifetime are vast. You need a lot of freedom within your career and you need to be doing things that allow you to express your creativity.
With Sagittarius in the 11th house of your hopes and dreams, you will succeed when you are stepping out of your comfort zone, traveling, and exploring new things. Your knowledge combined with lucky Jupiter, makes you someone who is more lucky than most when it comes to making your financial dreams come true. Remain positive and know your path to abundance won’t look like everyone else's.
PISCES RISING
You have Aries in the 2nd house, and financially you feel empowered when you are going after your individual dreams and intentions and are in leadership roles. Entrepreneurship inspires you, and you know how to lead a team. Taking initiative when it comes to your financial world is key here, and you need a certain sense of freedom when it comes to your career and working life.
Libra in the 8th house signifies abundance through your love life, marriage, business partnerships, or commitments and people are more willing to lend you a helping hand than most, use this to your advantage. Overall, your key to abundance is taking initiative, creating things never seen before, and using your charming personality to attract the support you need to succeed.
Love is cute and all, but building an empire together? That’s the real flex. Tap into our new series Making Cents to see what financial compatibility really looks like when love and legacy go hand in hand.
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Originally published on February 6, 2025