Hindsight is one heck of a teacher. When I think about what it's taught me when it comes to friendship, if there's a little gem of insight I'd like to give to all parents out there, it's this — just because your friends have children, that doesn't automatically mean that your kids should play with their kids.
I say that because the worst "friend" I've had in my entire life (and that's saying something!) is someone who was the firstborn child of one of my mother and stepfather's friends. And she was evil. Pure evil. My first memory of her was of her locking me out of her house, trapped with her big dog and her laughing at me as he tried to attack me.
It was basically the perfect metaphor for the rest of our so-called friendship. Throughout elementary, high school, and even my first couple of years of college, she was the epitome of a bad friend. But because she was my first introduction to friendship, I didn't have a healthy standard. In many ways, as toxic as she was, she set the standard. And so, anyone who treated me even a little better than she did, I thought they were awesome, when the reality is a lot of them simply weren't "as abusive".
Sometimes, when I'm giving relationship advice, I'll use the grades on a report card to drive home a point. "If you're always used to getting an 'F', a 'C' will feel like a 'A'." In other words, if you're used to being treated poorly and someone comes along and does it less than others have, or they do something good for you every blue moon, you might think you're being treated well when really, it's just not as bad as before.
That's why I'm a firm believer that friendships should have deal breakers. It's not about a lack of loyalty or not allowing someone to make mistakes. It's about recognizing when someone isn't being a true friend so that you don't have to put more time, effort, and energy into something that is fruitless.
It's about being a friend to yourself first so that you're able to set the standard — and raise the bar when needed — for how others should treat you.
And just what should some of those deal breakers be? Check them out below.
Deal Breakers In Friendships
1.Consistent Selfishness
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I'm a big giver. I like having that quality. But there have been numerous times when I've realized I'm doing 70-80 percent of the giving in my friendships; not just monetarily but with my time and emotional-investing too. As a friend, when one of my friends are in need, I figure it out. Period.
But what I started to realize is when I needed something, a lot of my friends were unavailable. The few times I would bring up the pattern, they would say things like, "Shellie, if your motive was right, you wouldn't be going tit-for-tat." Whatever. If this friendship was balanced, it would be impossible to do that because the mutuality would be consistent. Selfish means "self-consumed". If you're trying to establish or maintain a friendship with someone who is really only consumed with themselves, good luck, sis. You're gonna need it.
Feature image by Getty Images.
Related Articles:
5 Signs Of A Toxic Friendship That Is Secretly Poisoning Your Life – Read More
The Truth About Maintaining Friendships As An Adult – Read More
Breaking Up With Toxic Friends Won't Be Easy, But It's So Necessary – Read More
How To Build A Squad of Empowering Friends – Read More
- What are deal breakers for you in a friendship? - Quora ›
- The Top 10 Relationship Deal Breakers | Psychology Today ›
- What are your friendship deal breakers? : AskWomen ›
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- Your Top 10 Friendship Deal Breakers - FabOverFifty.com ›
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While MoonXCosmetics is known for its facial products, it wants to expand to body care and home. It just released its new product, Moon-Gel body wash, and it's only up from there. As Mariee continues to grow the brand, it's more than likely that she will see more history-making moments. And so far she has.
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When asked if she feels pressure to obtain more of those milestones, she says yes and no. "I did $1.8 [million] again, and then I did $2 million but I feel like now, currently, I don't look at that as one of my goals anymore because [of] the headache and just everything that came with it, but I was thankful and blessed to have that milestone, but now I'm looking for more," she says.
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Another part of expanding for any company is hiring people. Finding the right person to help you can be a hassle, especially for business owners who are used to doing all the work themselves. Mariee can relate to this, and she touched on this topic in her documentaryThe Million Dollar Story. She recommends having someone be your "right-hand man" who you trust to handle the ins and outs of the company.
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And though she is still learning, one thing she makes sure to stay on top of is being consistent. Consistency is what trips many people up when it comes to achieving goals, but Mariee says it's all about scheduling. Whether it's when to post on social media or email marketing, scheduling it out can make a world of difference. That same practice also works when planning out her future goals for the company.
"Right now, future goals would be to drop at least five more products before the end of the year. We always do outreach, where we do drives and all that, but definitely do way more this year, she says. "Then really dive into body [care], and then hopefully open up MoonXBody underneath MoonXCosmetics to let that branch out and be open and definitely get back consistent."
For more information, visit moonxco.com.
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