Sisterhood has always been an uplifting relationship to observe.
There is an unspoken language there, a bond like no other. In a sister, you find your best friend, your confidant, and the source of some of life's biggest frustrations all in one. And despite that, you wouldn't trade them for anyone else in the world.
Your sister shares something that is truly unique to your bond.
And even if you aren't born into the bond like so many other sisters, sisterhood can be a kinship that knows no bounds. In some cases, water is thicker than blood and you establish your roots in close friendship circles, adopting women who know you and helped grow you into a sisterhood all your own.
From content creators and influencers, to entrepreneurs and musicians, we spoke with sisters that find strength, empowerment, and success in sticking together, while embracing their differences. Here's what these sisters had to say about their crafts, and more importantly, their love for each other.
Coco & Breezy
Breezy & CocoCourtesy of cocoandbreezy via Leighton Pope
Entrepreneur twin sisters Coco and Breezy had to learn how to embrace their uniqueness along their journey as business partners. They own an eponymously named retail eyewear company and are an innovative DJ and producer duo. As twins, they know a thing about being two peas of a pod, while embracing their differences, and how it's transformed their productivity.
"Our sisterhood is unique because not only are we sisters, but we are twins. We are twins that shared a cell phone until we were 19 years old. When we first started our business, we didn't really embrace our differences. Once we figured out our own strengths, it helped us become a lot more productive. We also have a rule and say that there are no feelings in business. We don't allow our personal emotions with each other to affect our business decisions. Being an entrepreneur can also be an emotional rollercoaster," the twins shared with us in a statement. "There have been a lot of up and down times during our journey. Whenever we have any feelings of doubt, our sisterly love always takes over to spread the positive energy."
"Whenever we have any feelings of doubt, our sisterly love always takes over to spread the positive energy."
What They Love Most About Each Other
Coco and BreezyCourtesy of @cocoandbreezy
"I absolutely love and admire Breezy for owning her sexuality and outspokenness. When we were kids — Breezy was the tomboy. I remember the day she wanted to come out to our family and friends that she preferred to date women. I told Breezy, 'if no one accepts you, we can live our lives with each other.' Once she told everyone, she had the best support from our family and friends." - Coco
"Coco is such a very strong woman. She doesn't let anything stop her show, no matter what she is going through. It's been so amazing to see her growth and to be a part of it! I admire her sense for bullshit! Coco does not play, and she is an amazing observer. Whenever we are in meetings or just around new people, she is most likely more quiet than I am because she observes body language. She has saved us from a lot of BS people with that skill!" - Breezy
Thaina & Patrice
Patrice Madere & Thaina Madere BlotCourtesy of Secrets Des Souers
Social media bloggers and content creators Thaina and Patrice have a sisterly bond that has helped them grow as women and professionally as lifestyle influencers. Though Thaina is older than Patrice, their differences teach them about one another and has contributed to their growing success.
"The older sister is often the one that knows more because she's experienced more time on this earth by default. That isn't our experience. I learn from her as much as she learns from me, so we're friends as much as we're sisters. We share the same interests and share that with the world, together. I believe when people see us they can also see the respect and adoration we have for another, even through photos on the internet."
Patrice adds that their individuality enriches their experience as a team, and that their differences in opinions are distinguished in their style and helps keep their visuals consistent with their shared content. "[We've] learned to develop an understanding and respect for each other's individuality, while also recognizing that our combined attributes are what helps us stand out in a completely transparent way. This has helped us both personally and professionally."
What They Love Most About Each Other
Patrice Madere & Thaina Madere BlotCourtesy of Secrets Des Souers
"I think people see her pretty face, love for makeup, and zest for life and underrate her, but those that really know her also Know that she has so many rich and beautiful layers to her. If she lets you in, one thing you'll learn is that Patrice has resilience like no other! She has overcome the type of things that could make someone bitter, yet she always looks for the bright side, keeps it pushing, and actively searches for ways to turn her pain into ways to give. If I had to pick one thing about her that I love most, I think it would be that." - Thaina
"I admire my sister's ability to connect with others. Thaina has always been a woman of impact. Her genuine spirit allows others to feel comfortable and rely on her for personal advice. She advocates for others without the expectancy of anything in return. Since Thaina was a child she always looked for ways to give and it is most admirable that she was able to carry such beautiful trait throughout her adulthood. I love her for it." - Patrice
OSHUN
copper bras & jewelry by Uniquely Wired M (@uniquelywiredm) Makeup by Jessica Murdock (@jessica_masai)
A blood sister bond is a beautifully unique relationship, but having a best friend who might as well have come out of the same womb as you is inspiring too. Case in point, the divine feminine musical duo and soul "sistars" Thandi and Niambi. For OSHUN, sistarhood means to be connected by something that transcends a blood bond. It means that you are linked by the soul.
As a neo-soul hip hop group named after the Yoruba goddess, OSHUN douses the world in black girl magic, preaching a message of spirituality, love, and peace while doing so. Together OSHUN have birthed tracks such as 2014's "Stuck" and 2017's "Not My President." Most recently, they've released Bittersweet, Vol. 1. "Our sistarhood supports us as women and artists. It allows us to nurture ourselves, nourish ourselves, and nourish the world. It allows us to grow, to evolve, and to be supported in that evolution because we have each other's backs. We constantly affirm and reflect each other, which reminds us to respect ourselves and the divine feminine in every form. We're super blessed to have this bond."
When it comes to making professional decisions, OSHUN uses their differences and respect for one another to strengthen their bond in sisterhood and professionally. "Every decision we make, we make together. We move as a unit and it requires us to really master our communication as sistars. Because we're so close, we have to handle our professional choices with care because they impact both of us, not just one or the other. That's on a business tip, financial tip, and even sometimes emotionally. We make our decisions with a lot of respect for each other and we're constantly thinking about one another when making choices."
"We move as a unit and it requires us to really master our communication as sistars."
What They Love Most About Each Other
Photo by Alberto Vargas (@avargasphoto)
copper bras & jewelry by Uniquely Wired M (@uniquelywiredm) Makeup by Jessica Murdock (@jessica_masai)
"I love and admire how Niambi is able to visualize so far ahead in her path. She can see the future so well, and that allows her to plan in advance like a true boss. She knows what obstacles to avoid before they even present themselves. Her vision is so clear." - Thandi
"I love and admire Thandi's drive. Once she makes up her mind about something, she's motivated to make it happen. She wakes up each day with purpose, and she carries that energy into every space she enters. It's refreshing and reaffirming." - Niambi
*Featured Image by Leighton Pope
Who's the Solange to your Beyonce in life, and what do you love about her? Let us know in the comments down below.
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Since it’s Stress Awareness Month, we caught up with Keanne Owens, LCSW, founder of Journey To Harmony Therapy Center, to talk about these triggers and what Black women can do to manage and cope.
Owens is an experienced South Florida-based counselor and social worker who offers her services via Grow Therapy, a therapy and medication management platform. She has worked with Black women professionals to unpack issues related to workplace stressors. “One is the pressure to perform–having to meet deadlines and deliverables. And a lot of times, these subtle stressors from performance are put upon ourselves as Black women. We want to make sure we’re doing our best. We don’t want to be critiqued in certain ways.”
Excessive micromanagement leading to fear of overly critical bosses is another subtle trigger that can negatively impact Black women in the workplace.
“Whenever something is done wrong, or we experience some type of injustice and have to report it, it’s the fear of retaliation–[fear that] we won’t be taken seriously or [our words] will be taken out of context because of being deemed as the ‘angry Black woman,’” she said.
Black Women And Workplace Stress Triggers
Her sentiments are backed by research. A recent report by Coqual found that 28% of Black women (compared to 17% of White men) say their supervisor uses “excessive control or attention to detail” when managing them. There’s more: A survey by the National Employment Law Project found that Black workers were “more likely to have concerns (80 percent) and twice as likely as white workers (18 percent) to have unresolved concerns at work, with 39 percent reporting they were “not satisfied with the employer’s response or did not raise concerns for fear of retaliation.”
The survey also found that 14 percent of Black respondents said they “avoided raising concerns to their employer for fear of retaliation—more than twice the average rate of 6 percent for all survey respondents.”
Owens pointed to the fact that these subtle stress triggers can negatively impact our physical health and our career advancement. “A lot of time it’ll affect our productivity,” Owens added. “We start to have negative thoughts of ourselves. The stressors can also cause fatigue. We’re no longer meeting or working up to our desired potential.” Other challenges as a result include insomnia and increased insolation, withdrawal, and lack of motivation to apply for jobs or promotions even when qualified.
valentinrussanov/Getty Images
How To Manage Subtle Stress Triggers
While there are systemic issues at play for Black women at work that has less to do with us and more to do with major overhauls that must be addressed by the powers that be, there are steps we can take for the betterment of ourselves and our mental health. Owens offered the following tips:
Tap into a support system, whether it’s a coworker you trust, a family member, an organization, or an outlet like a hobby.
Create a good work-life balance before burnout even starts. “Having certain boundaries [is the goal] such as, for example, if you get off at 5, you get off at 5. If your job description is this, you don’t go above and beyond because that brings you to a lot of burnout,” Owens said.
Prioritize self-care, whatever that means for you. “If you don’t have a routine, create one. Practice mindfulness and even some meditation,” she added.
Create structure in your life outside of work. “Even if you have a family, applying some structure in your routine helps relieve stress,” she said.
Get into grounding techniques. “Do a real quick square breathing exercise, that’s literally 30 seconds, or you can do a grounding technique that’s less than two minutes, right there where you are. You don’t need any other materials. That’s something you can do with just yourself and your body.”
Ask for help. “As Black women, we don’t ask for help enough,” she said. “Find where you need to ask for help. A lot of times, people think that’s indicative of weakness, but we need to rewrite that narrative. It’s okay to ask for help where you see fit. [If] you’re a mom, [it could be] every Wednesday from 5 to 6, your children are with the dad. You have to carve out that time.”
For more information on Grow Therapy, visit their website. You can also find out more about Keanne Owens, LCSW, via BeginYourJourneyToHarmony.com.
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