Rejection At Its Finest: You’re Still The Ish After Constantly Being Told No

Inspiration

Rejection has a way of making even the most confident person feel inadequate.


From not being selected for the seemingly perfect job you knew you had in the bag, to opening a rejection letter from the school you've dreamed of going to since you were a child, to getting played from the guy you were convinced was "the one." We've all been there.

Still, that doesn't make the sting of rejection hurt any less.

It's totally normal to start second guessing yourself, your skills, your appearance, and even your ability when you're told "no" over and over again. I certainly know what that feels like because it messed with me like no other. Eventually, I jumped off the emotional downward spiral and evaluated the situation, myself, and others around me.

After doing some serious self-evaluations, my bounce back game is stronger than all the L's I've experienced. (*Cues Big Sean's "Bounce Back").

I've learned that when faced with rejection, you can choose to feel one of two ways: like you're less than, or like you're stronger than ever. In cases of the latter, rejection can serve as a reminder that you're still the ish! Here's how.

Ask Yourself, Was It Really A Good Fit For You?

It's crazy how getting rejected can cause us to glorify the very thing that turned us down. We start to think how perfect it would have been for us if it would have worked out. We paint a picture in our imagination of how everything would have fit together seamlessly if we would have moved forward in the direction we hoped. Instead, it was taken out of our control and out of our lives before we even had time to have a say in it.

Still, it's no secret we really don't know what the future holds. There is no telling what that situation would have really been like.

While we're painting a perfect picture in our minds, it's very likely things could have played out completely different in reality.

Not to go churchy on you, but in situations where I've experienced rejection, I had to learn that I never know what God is protecting me from. Yes, in our minds, these situations from a job to a guy would be perfect if we were just given a chance to prove ourselves. But in the end, it's important that we ask, was this really a good fit for me?

Sometimes, we'll never know the answer. But we do know that things do and don't work out for a reason, and it's okay to be content with that.

Let It Upgrade You

You really can't lose after you're rejected if you allow it to make you better. Despite how rejection makes you feel, you didn't miss out on the best thing out there. It might have felt like the best thing for you, and I'm confident that you gave it your ultimate best. But if you were rejected in the situation, in all honesty, no matter how good it looks on paper or social media, it just wasn't the best for you.

Which means, the best is still out there waiting for you to pursue it.

Just because that dream job and dream guy turned you down doesn't mean that you're a loser and you have to settle for anything that you're not really passionate about. If anything, you should know that you're still the ish and it's their loss. Instead of letting rejection bring you down, let it lift you up as you improve yourself and start to prepare for what's really meant for you.

Do Your Own Thing

I'm a sucker for a good turnaround story. You know those stories people tell about losing their jobs, starting a business, and turning into a millionaire? Or the ones about a woman who went through a heart shattering breakup, traveled the world, fell in love with herself, and found a better love she never knew existed? There was a lot of blood, sweat, and tears in between those heartbreaking moments and their love for life, without question.

They are real-life stories that exist after the people that have lived them were able to overcome their rejection and just do their own thing.

If you're not finding the job that works for you, start your own business girl! You were put on Earth to do something no one else can, so don't let rejection stop you from rocking it. If you're having a difficult time after a breakup you never thought would happen, find things that you love to do and fall in love with yourself. After all, you're pretty amazing.

I know it's so much easier said than done, but those moments after a rejection can serve as the moments that inspire you to become the person you never thought you could be. They have the power to push you out of your comfort zone and mature you like no other. Most of the time, we never would have jumped out there to try new things if we weren't rejected.

Dust Yourself Off And Try Again

Don't be afraid to try again. Hearing no constantly is one of the worst discouragers in this thing called life. But don't give it the power to knock you down. If it's a job you know you would dominate, do more research on the company, get new experiences that line up with what they're looking for, and keep going at it. I used to be the queen of having pity parties and sulking when I tried so hard only for something to not work out.

Still, it's the best story to tell when you keep at it, try again, and realize just how much of your hard work pays off.

Keeping that confidence after being rejected to the point where you feel you can't get back up again, is what strengthens us and makes the moments in the journey so worth it.

How do you deal with rejection?

Sign up today and be the first to get notified on new updates, exclusive events, retreats and giveaways!

More Posts

In 1972, Lonnie Lynn was born on the south side of Chicago to a teacher and a youth counselor. At the time, his parents had no idea that their son would one day grow up to rock stages around the world, become an award-winning actor, and eventually, write a book that would change the narrative of how black men look at love, therapy, and childhood sexual abuse.

Keep reading... Show less

When I was 19, I lost my father, the only caretaker I'd known my entire life.

Growing up in Brooklyn, NY in the '80s, it was common for black children to be raised by drug-addicted parents. My mother abandoned my sister and I while succumbing to her addiction to crack cocaine. But my father, he stayed. And that man loved me fiercely for the years we had, while battling his own addiction to heroin. Despite his own pain, he took care of me. Losing him is still the worst pain I've ever felt in my life.

Keep reading... Show less

I have a confession before I start this piece. I hate the outdoors. I need to lead with that fact because as I type, I am laying in a yurt outside with stars above me in upstate New York.

Keep reading... Show less

Summer travel is upon us, and that means we'll be looking for new items to add to our wardrobe. I know there are many fast fashion brands that keep us looking so fresh and so clean on a budget, but I started to think about purchasing investment pieces from black designers.

Keep reading... Show less

Brian J. White has been a consistent face in so many of our favorite series and films. I still remember his character's crazy but sexy relationship with Olivia Pope on Scandal. And who can forget him repping the Theta's in the college classic Stomp the Yard

Keep reading... Show less

Skincare isn't just a part of my daily routine, issa sport. Last year, I got hit with some pretty severe cystic acne that dramatically altered my day-to-day life.

Keep reading... Show less
Exclusive Interviews
Latest Posts