What Sex Workers Need You To Know About Their Careers
King Noire
Pronouns:
He/Him
Occupation(s):
"I'm a Master fetish trainer. A Master Fetish trainer is someone who helps people identify their fetish and then helps them find ways to live them and experience them in healthy, pleasurable, and safe ways. I'm an adult performer or male talent — "porn star" or however they describe it today — an Erotic Touch Masseuse, Fantasy Flight Pilot, and I've been a Gogo Dancer."
What has your time in the industry been like? How has FOSTA impacted you?
"I think since I do a lot of different things, a lot of times people are just a taken aback when they find out what i do. I think if people find out what I do before they've spoken to me, come to a lecture, or musical performance or anything else I do, they automatically think, 'Well, he slang dick for a living, so he's got no brain or no soul or no heart.'
"The perception of sex workers is that we're all doing this to pay for drugs or it's [generally] just a negative stereotype that a lot of people have towards sex work that kind of permeates into all the different aspects of what we do. People think that they can talk to you any kind of way, whether it's online or at a tradeshow. They think they can just put their hands on you. They say wild stuff that they wouldn't say to anyone else. I get d*ck pics, p*ssy pics, all types of sh*t all the time. If I get 20 per day, I know that a woman is probably getting 100 to 1000 a day... It's open season on anyone who is in the adult entertainment industry. I [constantly] have to remind myself that if it's like that for me, then you know it's way worse for what sisters are going through out here."
"I think it's important to look to people for who they are and their deeds instead of what their profession [is]. I think it's also important to realize sex is a natural thing, it's a beautiful thing, and we are all human."
What should the world know about sex work?
"We're your family, we're your neighbors, we're everyday people just like you — we just happen to make money in a different way. I think it's crazy that we live in a world where if somebody tells you, 'Hey, I work for the military and I drop bombs on people for a living," that's more respected than if somebody tells you that they dance and entertain people. What people do for a living doesn't make them good or bad, it's just how they earn a living.
"I think it's important to look to people for who they are and their deeds instead of what their profession [is]. I think it's also important to realize sex is a natural thing, it's a beautiful thing, and we're humans in a lot of ways. People come to us, who might not be able to find someone to help them experience the world in a way that they wanted to experience the world or open up their eyes to news ways to pleasure. It's not a negative thing, it's a positive thing. Everyone in the world got here through sex and I think most of us are having sex, so I don't think that's something that should be frowned upon."
To read more, click "Next Page."
- #ThotAudit is just the latest tactic people are using to harass sex ... ›
- What Everyone Can Learn from Sex Workers About How to Screen ... ›
- What Sex Workers Know That Congress Doesn't ›
- Your Job Has More in Common with Sex Work Than You Think - VICE ›
- I'm A Disabled Sex Worker, And This Is What I Want You To Know ... ›
- Things Not To Say To a Sex Worker - YouTube ›
- What sex workers and clients really want you to know about the ... ›
- Sex Trafficking vs. Sex Work: What You Need to Know • Human ... ›
- Sex workers' rights & decriminalization debate ›
- Amid FOSTA crackdown, sex workers find refuge on Mastodon - The ... ›
- Understanding Sex Work in an Open Society ›
- What is a Sex Worker? Everything You Need to Know About Sex Work ›
Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Why We'll Probably Never Hear Lupita Nyong'o Share Her Relationship With The World
Lupita Nyong'o is sharing a transparent look into her life after a recent breakup.
In a cover story for NET-A-PORTER, the A Quiet Place: Day One star shed light on the significant heartbreak she experienced following the end of her relationship with ex-boyfriend and TV host, Selema Masekela.
As a public figure, Nyong'o, 39, sought to divulge the news of the breakup in hopes of presenting a more authentic perspective on the pain that follows a separation.
"I was living in a lot of pain and heartbreak," she told the publication. "I looked at the environment of my social media and thought I don’t want to be a part of this illusion that everything is always coming up roses. Surely there is a lesson for me to learn in this, and I just want to be real about it."
The Black Panther star went on to explain that her choice to be transparent with her fans about her breakup came from the certainty she felt after ending the relationship. “In my mind, when I shared my relationship status with the world, it was because I felt sure about it,” she said.
While she didn’t know how the news would land with her fans, she found relief in knowing she wasn’t alone in her experience.
“I knew how it could be interpreted; I knew it would have a life of its own,” she reflects. “But then I started to see the comments and people were being so loving and supportive. The ones that moved me the most were other people sharing their pain and their heartbreak.”
Nyong'o and Masekela went Instagram official in December 2022, publicly announcing their relationship in a couple's video. In October 2023, Nyong'o took to her personal Instagram account to share the news of her breakup in her caption, writing, "At this moment, it is necessary for me to share a personal truth and publicly dissociate myself from someone I can no longer trust.”
She continued the vulnerable note, "I find myself in a season of heartbreak because of a love suddenly and devastatingly extinguished by deception. I am tempted to run into the shadows and hide, only to return to the light when I have regained my strength enough for me to say, 'Whatever, my life is better this way.' But I am reminded that the magnitude of the pain I am feeling is equal to the measure of my capacity for love."
These days, Nyong'o tells NET-A-PORTER that she is prioritizing profound self-discovery that extends beyond her career. She notes having a deliberate and unhurried approach to understanding herself.
She also alludes to keeping her relationships private moving forward after noting it was "very, very sage" of her not to talk about her private life professionally in the days before her last relationship. "I'm going back to those days by the way," Nyong'o shares of her reinstated boundaries around her personal life.
Earlier this month, Nyong'o made headlines alongside her new boyfriend actor Joshua Jackson. Nyong'o and Jackson went through public splits from their respective SOs in October 2023, with the latter splitting from his long-time partner Jodie Turner-Smith following her divorce filing from the Dawson's Creek alum.
The pair have been spotted together as early as December 2023, but nothing screamed "couple" quite as loudly as their recent getaway to Mexico for Nyong'o's 41st birthday featuring passionate displays of affection.
"Our purpose in life is to love. And so you have to get back in it," she tells the outlet, seemingly alluding to her budding new romance.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Taylor Hill/Getty Images