Ladies, This Is How To Have A Dope Grown Ass Woman Sleepover
I don't care how old we get, we can never be too old for a sleepover. So, why don't more of us do it? While things like schedules, partners and kids can make it challenging, I honestly believe that it's because a lot of us aren't sure how to throw one in such a way that it doesn't feel awkward or, let's be honest — childish.
If that's exactly what your line of reasoning is, because I personally think that there is something that's so wonderful and unique about sisterhood bonding, I've put together 15 tips that can make you want to host a grown ass sleepover and also cause your friends to want to RSVP ASAP.
1. Come Up with a Theme
To me, party themes are all about building up anticipation. It doesn't have to be anything deep. You can ask everyone to wear a certain color. You can focus on them coming dressed from a particular era. If you plan on going with a specific type of cuisine or music, folks can show up representing that. It's totally up to you. One way to give your guests an idea of what to expect is to send an e-card invite that has the theme featured on it. Paperless Post, Evite and Smilebox are just some of the online options you've got to choose from.
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2. Cop Some Mattress Toppers
I'll be honest — sometimes I'll pass on an event like this (or not stay the night) simply because I'm getting too old to be sleeping all uncomfortable on the floor, even with a sleeping bag. Something that can immediately prevent this from being an issue is going to your local Walmart and picking up some mattress toppers (you know, like egg crates). You should be able to find a few for under twelve bucks. They can provide a bit of extra cushion, so that folks aren't waking up with a killer backache the following morning.
3. Potluck It. Kinda.
I recently had a birthday (Geminis, stand up!). When one of my friends asked me if I thought I would ever throw a party, in true Gemini fashion, I said, "Why? So I can go into debt while some folks weren't even thoughtful enough to bring a present?" Chile, please. Along these same lines, just because you may be the one who is hosting the sleepover, that doesn't mean that you need to be trying to figure out how to pay your rent once everyone leaves. Since food is probably going to be the biggest expense (well, that and liquor; I'll get to the latter in a bit), why not have everyone bring something? And to avoid ending up with nothing but plasticware, make specific requests. A dish and a bottle of something to get lit with should do.
4. Get Some Old School Candies
As you're gonna see with some of these other points that I'm going to make, one of the most fun things about a grown woman sleepover is cultivating an atmosphere of nostalgia. One way to do that is to include some bowls of candy that include old-school brands. Something that I like about the website Old Time Candy is it breaks candy down into sections like eras, flavors and types. You can peruse to your heart's content by clicking here; then order and have what you want delivered directly to your house.
5. Serve Snacks That Are Liquor-Infused
Speaking of stuff to snack-on, why not make the kind that are liquor-infused? There's a recipe for vodka chocolate-covered strawberries here. A recipe for vodka-spiked watermelon here. A recipe for drunken salsa here. A recipe for tequila-spiked caramel corn here. And all kinds of recipes for boozed-up ice cream here.
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6. Put Together a Playlist from Your Collective College Years
Listen, I adore 90s R&B so much that I've got at least five graphic tees in honor of it. Every time I listen to music from that decade, I can literally hear a sigh come out of my body as I recall my college days. Taking out a couple of hours to put together a playlist from your own college years is a great way to get people hype and to hear some pretty awesome stories while songs are playing in the background — whether you went to school with your homies or not.
7. Stream a Couple of Throwback Movies
I already know that y'all got at least three streaming subscriptions thinking that it would be lower than your cable bill was (is it? LOL). So, why not look ahead of time for one or two movies that will take all of you back to either a simpler or more fun time (college anyone? 20s anyone?)? If you don't have streaming or cable, you might be able to find some gems on Tubi. It takes a little bit of digging and there are random commercials that pop up while viewing, but how much complaining can you do about a free app. Right?
8. Or, Binge-Watch a Favorite Black Sitcom
A show that I binge-watched a couple of years ago and thoroughly enjoyed is Survivor's Remorse. Now that it's back on BET, I've been catching up on it again. I also dig that TV One has put A Different World into rotation. Not only are both shows really good, they take me back to a time and place in my life that hold certain memories that I oftentimes don't think about until I do some binge-watching. Whether it's one of these or something else, maybe pull out five favorite episodes of a show that you and your girls used to like to watch all of the time. Even if you end up eating and talking while it's on, good Black programming always sets the best kind of atmosphere and tone.
9. Create a Signature Cocktail
Sometimes, I will do writing for wedding websites. It's there that I first heard of signature cocktails, and I like everything about the concept. Oftentimes, at wedding receptions, the bride and groom will have their own customized drink or they will come up with something that symbolizes them as a couple.
To commemorate your sleepover with your girls, why not make your own drink too? If you're down yet have no idea where to start, Sip Awards has some helpful tips here. Or, you and your friends can take a signature drink quiz, they can send the results to you and you can come up with a couple of mixtures that way (a cool quiz is right here).
10. And/Or Have Some Cotton Candy Cocktails on Tap
If you just read what I said and thought to yourself, "Girl, I'm gonna be good just to host this thing. What else, you got?", another option is to serve up a cocktail that already exists. One that tends to be a fan favorite is cotton candy cocktails that has strawberries, champagne, vodka, rosè, limes and cotton candy in it (the recipe is here). Talk about a drunkety-drunk-drunk sugar rush!
11. Then Play 20 Questions, Truth or Dare or Never Have I Ever with It
I've played all of these games with some of my girlfriends before and you know what — no matter how long I've known them and how much we've discussed before, when they've got some drinks in them, the game never ends without my mouth falling wide open, at least a couple of times. The main point here is to get an understanding, beforehand, that everything that is shared is confidential. Hell, if you want to makeshift some NDAs, I ain't mad at you. Celebrities do it all of the time. I totally get why.
12. Or, Go a Round of Social Sabotage
If y'all are more of an actual card or board game kind of person, BuzzFeed actually created a game called Social Sabotage (and yes, it's a card game). Basically, the box comes with two sets of cards — where and what. The best way to explain it would be that it's an online/smartphone version of truth or dare with a whole lot of twists to it. Things really could get kinda wild. Anyway, if you want to buy the game, go here. If you want to watch a video that explains how the game works, check that out here.
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13. Paint Each Other’s Toenails (or Fingernails)
OK, while I know that spa activities are a traditional girls' night in move, my experience has been that oftentimes they end up being a lot more trouble than they're worth when it comes to setting up and cleaning up. A happy medium is to have some polishes available for folks to either paint each other's toenails or fingernails. Personally, while I'm good when it comes to my feet, I'm always thrilled when someone can help me to switch out colors for my fingernails when I'm in between mani/pedi appointments. It's a cool way to slow down the night.
14. Give Everyone Their Own Bonnet as a Party Favor
Y'all and these bonnets, boy. One day, I'll write something, just on that alone. For now, can we all agree that they were initially made to protect our glorious hair while we sleep at night? That said, I can't think of a more profound way to end a Black woman sleepover than to hand out a party favor in the form of a new bonnet. If you go to Etsy and put "bonnet" in the search field, you can find a variety that are made from Black women. Some merchants even customize, chile. #yourewelcome
15. Have Breakfast Delivered the Next Day
Once half of y'all are either slightly hungover or too tired to make that big breakfast that you see folks do on TV, I've got an idea. Since actually eating breakfast can help you to feel better after a night of getting totally lit up (so does drinking water or chewing on some ginger, by the way), why not have breakfast (or brunch, depending on the time y'all wake up) delivered?
If you're up to trying something new, My Recipes published "51 of the Best Breakfast Destinations in America". Also, your favorite delivery app should have a breakfast section for you to peruse. It's the perfect way to end an awesome sleepover, don't cha think? Have fun!
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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My name is Yasmine Jameelah, and I’m a founder, journalist, freelance writer, and dog mama. Wellness is at the intersection of everything that I do.
Six years ago, I started a small wellness community on Instagram after embarking on a healing journey in my mid-twenties that I documented via a blog where I wrote about healing, therapy, celibacy, and growth after what felt like years of chaos. Six years later, that wellness community has blossomed into one of the largest online wellness platforms for Black women called Transparent Black Girl which has a reach of over five million Black women.
It still sounds crazy to say that aloud, to know that a 24-year-old girl planted the seeds of the life that this 30-year-old woman gets to live now.
While I was growing my company, because my love for writing was so strong, I went back to school and obtained my master's in journalism. I’ve worked as a freelance writer, an editor, and a frequent contributor to publications that I respect greatly, xoNecole being one of them! My journalism career has been a reflection of my passion and heart for wellness and the culture. My day-to-day is busy, but we manage to get it done, and on the days that I can’t, I give myself grace to do what I can with the time that I have.
My days consist of events, long walks with my dog, freelance pitching, and deciding what content creation and events will look like for my wellness collective, Transparent & Black.
Now, follow me on a random day in my life.
Morning
5:00 a.m.
My Goldendoodle keeps me on a schedule, so every morning, like clockwork, he wakes me up to use the bathroom and eat breakfast, at 5 a.m.! Am I usually over it first thing in the morning? 100%, but his being on a schedule challenges me to stick with mine and start the day on a productive note. He’s a wellness dog which means I feed him home-cooked meals and give him supplements daily to support his health, and he has a daily dental treat to keep his teeth healthy. Canine dental hygiene is imperative for a long life and a good smelling breath!
Today, I’m heading into the city, and I’ll be there almost all day, so when I’m gone that long, I take him to doggy daycare.
7:00 a.m.
Doggy daycare drop-off is filled with tons of barks, and my dog is practically jumping out of the car with excitement to see his friends. Now, some of y’all might be thinking, doggy daycare, sis, that’s too much for a dog! But it’s not, socialization is key for dogs, and so is keeping my house intact when I’m gone for long periods of time. Does he go daily? No, we aren’t rich (yet, we gotta manifest!), but when my dog is happy and experiencing play, and I’m happy attending events, I feel accomplished.
Having a pet is a serious responsibility, and I pride myself on knowing that I am invested in his mental and emotional health by encouraging his socialization with his friends.
7:30 a.m.
Headed to my local coffee shop to grab my go-to order. Iced coffee, a single shot of espresso, half and half, and 3 pumps of agave. Winter, spring, summer, fall, I am an iced coffee girl. I love it, especially after a workout where I’ve broken a sweat - nothing about having hot coffee after I’ve been sweating for over an hour feels good to me.
8:00 a.m.
Back home listening to Carlos King's commentary on YouTube in the shower (what can I say, commentary on reality TV drama relaxes me, don’t judge!) and prepping for the first stop on the agenda for today which is an event in the city. Without traffic, I’m about a 25-minute drive to Manhattan but it’s rush hour, so that 25 minutes is about 55 which means I have to head out soon so that I can arrive on time.
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9:00 a.m.
Headed to Manhattan for a Black History Month event with Meta, Peloton, and We The Culture. I wanted to take the train, but I ran out of time, so I hopped in an Uber because I didn’t want to be late, and I had my daily check-in with my best friend while I rode in the Uber. We talk daily and have since our early twenties to check in with each other. I'm grateful that while many aspects of my life have changed, this is still a constant. As we age, prioritizing our friendships for sure gets harder, but it’s not impossible in the least bit when both parties are invested.
9:30 a.m.
Emailing my editor from the car to ask for a deadline extension and sharing with her my ideas for pieces for the month! I’m grateful to have been on both sides of the journalism space. I’ve been a managing editor for years for publications, and I’ve also had the honor to work with managing editors, deputy editors, and editors-in-chief who have poured into me and understood how quickly my schedule can change, I’m honored at the magic we’re able to create together.
As a storyteller, from content that I share to my platform to pieces that I write, I’m having fun again in this season of my life, and I am loving it.
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10:00 a.m.
The event begins, and I can’t lie, when I host my own events, I’m not scared, but as a social anxiety girlie, events sometimes can be a little scary. I am naturally a very shy girl, but wellness events always feel like home to me. You don’t have to dress up; you can show up in workout gear because most of the time you’re experiencing some form of wellness and fitness even during the event. Moments into the panel discussion we experienced a seated meditation led by Peloton instructor Dr. Chelsea Jackson Roberts - talk about a way to kick the day off!
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The discussion hosted by Meta and Peleton touched on the importance of taking up space in industries and spaces where Black women and people are underrepresented, our self-care regimens, and We The Culture also shared how their work came to be. It was such a powerful event, and of course, we got the inside scoop on Peloton’s newest machines! I also spoke with some people (it’s important to me to always say hello to those who put on the event) and ended up sitting next to THE Pilates girl herself, Raven Ross. She was such a sweetheart, and we talked about our love for Pilates and the importance of community events like this.
Afternoon
2:00 p.m.
Leaving the event, I headed to Sephora to see if I could find Topicals' always sold-out Slick Salve, but to no avail, so I pulled out my phone and ordered it on their website as I walked back to the train station to head back home. I am a girl who loves to walk, so I’m always down for a long walk to the station and a walk back home when time permits, so that’s exactly what I did. I did about four miles just between walking back to Penn Station and walking back to my apartment once I got off the train!
4:30 p.m.
My phone started blowing up because the piece that Oprah Daily asked me to write was published for Black History Month, and my face was on Oprah’s website, AOL’s homepage, and the publication's Instagram page! My mama, aunties, cousins, dad, and everyone who has known me since I was a little girl were beyond proud and excited to see that and how far I’ve come.
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Evening / Night
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5:30 p.m.
I headed to my gym in my home (praise the Lord for apartment amenities) for a quick swim before I picked up my dog from daycare, and then I headed to the sauna and ran into a neighbor who is another successful Black woman killing it in her own right in the tech space. We chatted about life updates and the importance of taking time for our mental health and it felt good to ground myself with swimming. Much of my life has changed in the past few years, but swimming has remained a constant.
Whenever something amazing happens I soak it in and then immediately do what I can to ground myself to stay present, humble, grateful, and focused on what’s ahead.
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6:30 p.m.
It started raining badly and my anxiety is all over the place on the drive to pick up my dog but I practice some deep breathing and remind myself that I have had a calm day and it can end calm as well. I don’t need to rush there, I can drive at a pace that feels good to me. My mother calls to check on me because she sees the weather is terrible and asks me to let her know when I arrive safely.
7:00 p.m.
I arrived at doggy daycare, and the rain is calming down. Can y’all see why I take him?! They watch him all day! My dog is exhausted in the best way and ready to go home and sleep, and I can sit down and relax when we head back home.
9:00 p.m.
I’m back home, took a bath, ordered my favorite healthy Chinese takeout (beef and shrimp with broccoli, light sauce with brown rice), and I’m on the couch with a glass of sustainable wine from one of my favorite Black-owned brands, House of Brown watching Sistaswith a side of kimchi to enjoy with dinner. My candles are lit, I’m letting the highs of the day sit with me and stillness come over me as I prepare for bed.
10:30 p.m.
I took my dog out for a final walk, gave him his bedtime treat, and it’s lights out to prepare for another day.
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