Your April 2020 Horoscopes Are All About Harmony & Pleasure
Amid the news of the coronavirus pandemic, April beckons us out of our winter hibernation and into the warmth of spring. Venus blesses us with some lighthearted, flirtatious energy when she moves into Gemini on the 3rd. The Full Moon in Libra on the 7th helps us bring balance to areas of our lives that are in disarray. Mercury's transit in Aries reminds us to think before we speak but also grants us with the conviction needed to speak up for ourselves when needed. Toward the end of the month, Taurus takes center stage inviting us to indulge in the sensual pleasures of life and align with more abundance.
Check out how this month's cosmic blueprint affects your sign:
Aries
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Happy birthday to the leading lady of the zodiac! Your solar return is supported by Venus entering Gemini on the 3rd, awakening the social butterfly in you. On 4/4, the Jupiter-Pluto conjunction can potentially offer you a transformative career opportunity that requires you to overcome a deep-seated fear of yours. As we work our way to the Full Moon on the 7th, be mindful of your temper especially in dealing with personal and professional relationships. Getting on the same page with others may prove to be difficult when Mercury moves into your sign on the 11th. Breathe through the discord and try to find a happy middle ground.
The Sun transitions into Taurus on the 19th helping you take a more practical approach toward your finances. It's time to reel in the spending and focus on saving. The New Moon on the 22nd invites you to consider what financial goal you'd like to reach within the next six months. If you're up for adding a new source of income on your list, now is the time to tap into those hidden gifts and talents. Once Mercury moves into Taurus a few days later, you're ready to strategize your way to more wealth. On the 25th, Pluto begins its retrograde and the next several months encourages you to face any fears related to harnessing your own personal power and making shit shake when it comes to your career. It's time to lay the self-sabotage to rest and surrender to your success!
Taurus
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April kicks off with your ruling planet moving into Gemini on the 3rd. This benevolent energy blesses your finances and loves life through your gift of gab. Don't be modest, babe. Now is the time to sell yourself and that amazing product or services you have to offer. The Jupiter-Pluto conjunction on the 4th supports you with a transformative opportunity to share your expertise with a wider audience. On the 7th, the Full Moon reveals how some of your habits and routines are draining you (and maybe a hater in the workplace, too). Mercury shifts into Aries on the 11th which could bring up some hidden anger if you're not feeling heard. Use your words like a big girl and speak up for yourself in a tactful approach.
Your birthday season begins when the Sun moves into your sign on the 19th. The New Moon on the 22nd invites you to make a wish for what you want to accomplish in the next year. Don't forget to show off that new birthday makeover while you're at it. On the 25th, Pluto begins its retrograde, encouraging you to connect with the voice of your own inner guru. The time during this transit is best spent refining your code of ethics, spiritual beliefs, and philosophies about life. If you're in school, you'll feel pulled even deeper into your studies with the desire to master what you're learning. The month comes to a calm close with Mercury moving into your sign, making you the topic of discussion and the go-to for guidance, advice, or a shoulder to lean on.
Gemini
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Venus is giving you some extra TLC this month when she moves into your sign on the 3rd. As the social butterfly of the zodiac, your charm factor goes up another notch when the planet of love peruses through Gemini. On the 4th, the Jupiter-Pluto conjunction helps you overcome a big fear with a lighthearted approach. Who said that healing has to be difficult? In your case, laughter is the best medicine. On the 7th, the Full Moon boosts your creativity and your need for some adventure—romance included. Love won't just show up on your doorstep so get out there and do what you do best—FLIRT!
Taurus season officially begins on the 19th and over the next month your focus is on your inner world as you prepare for your birthday season. Meditate, reflect, and get plenty of sleep. Your dreams will reveal what habits, hang ups, and relationships you need to release before your solar return. The New Moon on the 22nd offers you the karmic reset that you need to feel more confident about the new directions you're going in when it comes to exploring how you can turn your natural gifts and talents into a stream of income. On the 25th, Pluto begins its retrograde and over the next six months you'll be transforming trauma into grace, wisdom, and a deeper love and appreciation for yourself. Working with a therapist can equip you with the psychological tools you need to thrive in close, intimate connections of all kinds.
Cancer
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The month begins with Venus moving into Gemini on the 3rd. Matters of love take on a more private approach during this transit. Take it slow and get plenty of sleep to receive some new money-making ideas in your dream time. On 4/4, the Jupiter-Pluto conjunction supports you in stabilizing a partnership whether romantic or professional. The Full Moon on the 7th could have you considering a move if you've outgrown your current living arrangements. At the least, there could be a convo you need to initiate with your roomie who keeps paying the rent late or leaving their mess in the common areas.
Do your best to keep your temper in check once Mercury moves into Aries on the 11th. Your drive for success is admirable. Just make sure you're not stepping on any toes or rubbing your boss the wrong way. As the saying goes, "Don't bite the hand that feeds you." On the 19th, the Sun moves into Taurus, making this a good time to reconnect with friends and the New Moon on the 22nd invites you to expand your social network. Over the next month, you could be meeting some key players that will help turn your vision into a reality. On the 25th, Pluto begins its retrograde through the fall. This transit is intended to help you transform your personal boundaries so you can experience more fulfilling, healthy interactions, and relationships.
Leo
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April takes off with Venus moving into Gemini on the 3rd helping you attract good fortune and opportunities through your social network. As the saying goes, "It's not what you know. It's who you know." On 4/4, the Jupiter-Pluto conjunction supports you in getting to the root of any health issues while helping you stay disciplined in making those new habits stick! The Full Moon on the 7th invites you to share our beauty with the world, whether that's through an inspirational thread of tweets or a new selfie on IG flaunting your makeup skills.
On the 11th, Mercury moves into Aries and you're in the mood for some adventure. Now that the retrograde is over, it's the perfect time to take that girls' trip to Bali. A week later, the Sun moves into Taurus which brings your focus to climbing the social, and professional, ladder. Recognition for a job well done from someone you look up to is likely during this time. On the 22nd, the New Moon could have you stepping into a new job title or more influence among those who admire you. Pluto begins its six-month retrograde on the 25th, helping you shift your energy and mindset to align with your desired lifestyle (and body goals). The month comes to a sweet close with Mercury mellowing out in Taurus for a few weeks, reminding you that achieving your goals isn't a race but a marathon instead.
Virgo
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The planet of love and money blesses your career progression with some important convos taking place throughout the month. On the 4th, the Jupiter-Pluto conjunction helps you reach new heights in your creativity. It may not always feel comfortable but your authentic expression matters so don't be afraid to share your truth! The Full Moon on the 7th could reveal how you've been mismanaging your finances. Practice a little constraint by getting back on that budget. If you think you're being overworked and underpaid, this could be a good time to negotiate a raise. On the 11th, Mercury moves into Aries for a few weeks. Be mindful of any pent up aggression you're harboring and seek healthy ways to express it like taking a kickboxing class.
The Sun moves into Taurus on the 19th and your hunger for knowledge could have you applying for school or booking a trip to a distant land that you feel connected to. The New Moon on the 22nd invites you to explore a new way to approach your spiritual wellness, making this a great time to sign up for that online course about balancing your chakras. Once Mercury links up with these two luminaries, your mind is ready to absorb new information to incorporate into your own belief system as well as your spiritual practices. Toward the end of the month, Pluto begins its retrograde, helping you transform the narrative that has neglected your inner child's deepest desires for adventure, creative expression, and love.
Libra
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The beginning of the month has you curious and adventurous when it comes to matters of love. Meeting someone during your travels or in an educational setting is likely during this transit. When it comes to money, consider what you're an expert at and create a course for others who are interested in learning your craft. On the 4th, the Jupiter-Pluto conjunction supports you in transforming dysfunctional family dynamics and clearing out the remnants of generational karma. Your Full Moon on the 7th invites you to show the world what you've got—whether it's your ASSets, skillset, or all of the above.
On the 11th, Mercury lights up your relationships with passion and fury. Be mindful of power struggles over the next few weeks but don't be afraid to stand up for yourself when necessary. The Sun enters Taurus on the 19th bringing your focus to sex and intimacy, making this the perfect time to get a little closer to your loved ones. The New Moon on the 22nd could present a new stream of income and, with Mercury moving into Taurus, your money-management skills are improving drastically. It's time to strategize your way out of debt and into wealth. Around the end of the month, Pluto goes retrograde, encouraging you to embrace the power of the Divine Feminine and the wonders that you can create when you embody your magical essence.
Scorpio
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April kicks off with Venus inviting you into closer, more meaningful connections. As one of the deepest signs of the zodiac, you'll enjoy this transit and the chance to see others, and yourself, in a vulnerable way. On the 4th, the Jupiter/Pluto conjunction helps you overcome any fears of being in the spotlight and sharing your truth. If you're aiming to expand your social media presence, this aspect is super supportive in doing just that. On the 7th, the Full Moon helps you break free from a karmic cycle in your relationships. It's time for you to receive as much as you give to others. Mercury moves into Aries on the 11th getting you motivated and in the gym just in time to get that summer body together! You'll be feeling a little aggressive during this transit so be mindful of your interactions with your co-workers. It's not what you say, boo. It's how you say it.
On the 19th, the Sun enters Taurus coupled by a New Moon on the 22nd inviting you to take a relationship to the next level. An engagement could be in the midst for some of you while others of you are making an important business connection that has the potential to take you places professionally. Once Mercury joins these two luminaries on the 27th, you'll be ready to sign your name on the dotted line. The month winds down with the planet of transformation starting its six-month retrograde, making this an opportune time to assess the way you communicate with yourself and others. Our words are powerful spells that can create our personal Heaven or Hell on Earth. Use your magic wisely.
Sagittarius
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You enter into the month with Venus moving into your opposite sign on the 3rd. If you're single and ready to mingle, it's time to hit up your local brunch spot. For the coupled Saggies, this transit can bring some fresh, exciting energy back into the mix. On the 4th, the Jupiter/Pluto conjunction supports you with a lucky breakthrough financially but it may require you to step outside of your comfort zone to receive it. Believe in your gifts, babe. You wouldn't be offered the opportunity if you weren't capable of exceeding in the role. The Full Moon on the 7th is a great time to gather with new and old friends alike to celebrate your wins—regardless of how big or small they seem.
Watch out for that feisty temper of yours when Mercury moves into Aries on the 11th. We know you love to debate like you're a candidate for the next presidential election but bae may not be in the mood to spar with you so bring it down just a bit. On the 19th, the Sun enters Taurus shortly followed by a New Moon on the 22nd. A focus on improving your health and well-being is your top priority. It's time to commit to those new habits that will result in a more balanced lifestyle. On the 25th, Pluto goes retrograde, helping you blast through those subconscious money blocks so you can get on a smoother road to your prosperity.
Capricorn
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The month kicks off with the goddess of love reminding you that "health is wealth". Sign up for that spin class or learn about some detox plans to get your summer bod going in full effect. On 4/4, the Jupiter-Pluto conjunction helps you get clear on what really matters and where your energy is best directed. The Full Moon on the 7th illuminates how you can take a more balanced approach to achieving your career goals. This is also a good time to renegotiate existing contracts or to ask your boss for a raise. On the 11th, Mercury moves into Aries, bringing your focus to family and home. Being nice may not be your thing but try to have a little tact when letting your roommate know that you're tired of cleaning up after their lazy ass.
The Sun enters Taurus on the 19th inviting you to nurture your inner child. This is a great time to pick up that old hobby, take a weekend getaway, or indulge in some romance. On the 22nd, the New Moon supports you in planting the seed for new creative projects. With Mercury moving into this part of your chart, you're reminded to believe in the value of your self-expression. The month ends on a more introspective note with Pluto going retrograde, initiating you into some deep, inner work that will uncover hidden aspects of your relationship with power and how you utilize it in the world.
Aquarius
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Romance, adventure, and creative inspo overflow when Venus moves into flirtatious Gemini on the 3rd. On the 4th, the Jupiter-Pluto conjunction invites you to explore your hidden desires as well as any judgements you have about actually having your desires fulfilled. The Full Moon on the 7th has your 3rd eye wide open and ready to receive the next set of instructions on your journey. Teaching, writing, and traveling opportunities are likely on the agenda. On the 11th, Mercury moves into Aries instilling you with the conviction you need to speak your truth. Choose your battles wisely though. Every fight isn't worth your energy.
On the 19th, the Sun moves into Taurus, bringing your focus to family. The New Moon on the 22nd has you planning some home renovations or a relocation. Once Mercury comes buzzing along (and your tax refund is deposited) you'll be hitting up your local HomeGoods to beautify your space for any home entertaining you'll be doing this spring. April winds down with Pluto going retrograde on the 25th inviting you to integrate hidden aspects of yourself that are necessary for you to actualize more personal power.
Pisces
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The month begins with Venus bringing the good vibes, and the tea, straight to your living room. This is the perfect time to bring the party, or a small get-together, to your home. On 4/4, the Jupiter-Pluto conjunction encroaches you to embrace your desire for connection and a purpose-driven approach to life. Your big heart is capable of changing the world around you. The Full Moon on the 7th marks the end of a tough cycle. You either allow the pain to make you or break you and you've chosen to allow yours to be the catalyst for your glow up.
On the 11th, Mercury moves into Aries, giving the courage to stand up for your worth. Prices are going up, baby! The Sun moves into Taurus on the 19th followed by a mellow New Moon on the 22nd, making this an opportune time to work on practical ways of expanding your social media platform, website, or YouTube channel. Your influence has the potential to get you in a sweeter spot financially. On the 25th, Pluto goes retrograde for six months, encouraging you to "be the change that you want to see in the world".
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Navigating Dating When Emotionally Unavailable & Detached: My Journey Back To Feeling
The last time I came with a dating story, I told you I got my little feelings hurt in 2021. I called myself trying to be out in these streets entertaining a man in a different area code, city, and state — only for homeboy to play in my damn face. So, I went and gave y’all "8 Rules To Casual Dating Every Woman Should Know This Summer." You’re welcome. Fast forward to 2024, and I am now coming to you from a more mature and intentional place. We’re not in summer yet, but I truly believe what blooms in spring, thrives in summer.
2023 was my year, and it was my turn. I had just completed an 8-month holistic detox. The glow-up was real and well-deserved. The way I have poured into myself is unmatched. Let me tell you, self-love is a love you have never known. After a five-year healing journey, I finally felt like myself again, and I was ready to play. My heart was open, my mind was clear, and my body hella transformed. I had told all my friends that I was ready to explore dating again, and at the height of summer, I did exactly just that.
This time I decided I wanted to take my time. I wanted to date the “right way” or the “healthy way.” You know, keep your options open, ask the right questions, believe actions and not words, observe patterns and pay attention to red, yellow, and green flags. I was never the dating app type of girl. I sincerely miss everything about human connection and dating from 2000 to 2012. Can we please bring all of that back into 2024? I prefer to feel a man’s energy and presence in real-time. Nonetheless, I still chose to dabble with a few dating apps. I was all the way outside and dating for practice.
Unfortunately, with today’s dating culture, social climate, and how some of these men move and/or behave, these dates were a dead end. Not one guy made it to my roster. What these men were was benched this season – not one of them could be my first-round select draft pick. It didn't seem like anyone I met was interested in a serious relationship. And it’s completely fine. Miss me with the ghosting, lack of effort, inconsistency, and poor communication. I continued to just do me because what is for me will not miss me.
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The universe must have heard me talking because I had specifically told my closest girlfriends that I wanted to meet someone who lived in the vicinity, no more than twenty minutes away, and no more long distance. And I did meet him (it’s crazy how I manifest exactly what I want). As we started to get to know each other, I liked his energy and effort. I liked the direction it seemed to be going to the point my girlfriends had to tell me not to run from him. Because every part of me wanted to run from something that seemed normal.
I liked what he was coming with until I became uncomfortable with my own feelings, and I didn’t know how to communicate them to him.
With that said, I knew if I truly wanted to experience the truest of loves, a reciprocal, requited love, and be in a healthy relationship this story had to come to a pause. What I didn’t know was that he was going to show me things I didn’t know I needed to work on. I didn’t know he inadvertently was going to help me continue to heal parts of me that were hidden.
As someone who has learned to self-heal, I am no longer the type that runs from herself. I am here for the growth.
The truth is I am emotionally detached from myself, and I am not actively dating at the moment. I am the one that has to work on herself. My reiki healer called it, too – she told me this year would not be a year for a relationship, but a year of continuous growth. And now I see why. After all the healing work I have done thus far – I am an unemotional mess. How?
At my big age of 39, I struggle to communicate my wants and needs.
I still struggle to communicate and process uncomfortable feelings. I would rather give myself anxiety, act nonchalantly, emotionally react, and choose non-communication when I am bothered with someone than address the issue (I will later explain why). I have been ignoring my feelings for so long it has become a habit, a defense mechanism, and more so a trauma response.
If you are someone like me who grew up in a household that didn’t discuss feelings, your emotional needs were unmet, and you don’t feel safe to share your feelings – emotional detachment is quite common.
Oftentimes, we always talk about men being emotionally unavailable, but what if it’s a woman who is emotionally unavailable or emotionally detached? How does she navigate herself, dating, or being in a relationship? As I navigate my emotions this season, let’s explore what it means to be emotionally detached, the signs of detachment, and how to reconnect with yourself emotionally.
Emotional Unavailability vs. Emotional Detachment
When we look at the terminology emotional unavailability and emotional detachment, one might argue that the two terms are interchangeable and have the same meaning. One could also argue that both terms mean that some people are not in tune with their emotions or lack the emotional capacity to be responsive to someone else’s emotions. Fair enough. However, there is a big difference. The definition of emotional unavailability is described as people who have difficulty with sharing their emotions and being receptive to the emotions of those around them.
According to Verywell Mind, signs of emotional unavailability can look like being distant or cold, lack of closeness, and emotional intimacy in relationships, inability to understand and relate to others’ feelings, defensiveness when asked to change or let others in, tendency to shut down or avoid topics that require emotional openness, or withdrawal from people or situations that provoke emotional reactions.
Whereas emotional detachment is defined as the inability to or willingness to connect with others on an emotional level. Furthermore, Psychology Today states emotional detachment can also mean that people do not engage with their feelings. Exhibit A – me. Emotional detachment has various causes – past neglect, childhood or adult trauma, PTSD, depression, personality disorder, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, or, in some cases, medication (i.e. antidepressants). It is important to note emotional detachment is a complex issue. For someone like me, it’s a coping mechanism.
It is easier for me to ignore uncomfortable feelings to protect myself from stress or getting hurt. Hence, my nonchalant demeanor. It is also true for some people it is a reaction to trauma, abuse, and unprocessed emotions. Exhibit B – me. As it is difficult for me to open up about my feelings at the moment. On the contrary – emotional detachment can be helpful in navigating some situations like listening to people’s opinions and gossip.
Unfortunately, emotional detachment is not a behavior that can be turned on and off at will. Please note that emotional detachment is NOT a mental health diagnosis but can be a symptom of a mental health condition such as an attachment disorder. And if you know anything about attachment theory, it is related to the relationship we develop in our childhood with our primary caregivers.
Signs You're Emotionally Detached
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According to Psychology Today and Verywell Mind, general signs of emotional detachment can look like difficulty showing empathy to others, sharing emotions, committing to a relationship, feeling numb, poor listening skills, lack of self-esteem, preferring to be alone, struggling to feel positive emotions, inability to identify emotions, lack of physical, verbal, or sexual contact and losing touch with people or maintaining connections.
In a romantic relationship, emotional detachment shows up as you or your partner not being available for connection, poor communication, or reduced affection.
For me, my experience with emotional detachment is collective. I am an empath to my core. I don’t have a problem relating to other’s feelings or circumstances. I don’t have commitment issues, nor do I have an issue connecting with others or maintaining those connections. I struggle with sharing emotions, at least the negative ones.
Due to the emotional abuse from my childhood and a toxic relationship, I learned sharing emotions just wasn't the safe thing to do. As a survivor of trauma, I learned to suppress feeling negative emotions in general as a form of protection.
How To Reconnect To Your Emotions When You're Emotionally Unavailable
Serious Kid Cudi GIF by Apple MusicGiphyExploring my emotional side in-depth started late last year simply by noticing my reaction to something that he did. I didn’t know how to properly communicate to him how I was feeling or what he did bothered me in the moment. So, I swallowed my feelings and said absolutely nothing. I intentionally chose to avoid the issue. I chose to rationalize the situation instead of acknowledging that my feelings at the time were valid. I chose to act like everything was all good because it was all good.
“It wasn’t that deep to begin with” is what I told myself. And this is where the problem lies.
The saying is true, “What happens in your childhood shows up in your adult relationships.” I came to realize that because I was not able to express my feelings as a child, I struggled to process them. I either hold back my feelings, take a long time to say how I feel, or don’t say anything at all. This is because I fear people will walk away from me like my mother did if I share what I truly feel. I fear my feelings won’t be validated, or they will be rejected.
With that said, I was completely unaware that I was emotionally detached from myself until recently. So, here we are with this article. It all started by reading Instagram’s @theholisticpsychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera’s newest book How to Be the Love You Seek: Break Cycles, Find Peace, and Heal Your Relationships, which was released on November 28, 2023. As I read through the first chapter, I became triggered.
How Dr. LePera describes her childhood with her parents and experiences with her romantic partners somewhat mirrored my experiences with my own parents and relationships. As Dr. LaPera stated in her book, I have no issue showing up for others or meeting their needs and wants. But when it comes to expressing my own needs and wants – I cannot or I don’t. This is mainly due to my hyper-independence.
At an early age, I learned to show up for myself because the people I trusted to show up for me failed. Given my home environment, I had internalized it is not safe to talk about feelings. I never knew my emotional responses and behavior were abnormal. But because I am willing to continue to do my inner work, I know that I can reconnect to my emotions, and undo four decades of repressed emotions.
If you are someone like me who struggles with emotional connection with yourself and others, here is how you go about it:
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1. Know Your Attachment Style
For me, the first step was to understand my attachment style. I asked my therapist if she could help me identify my attachment style to understand my triggers. She recommended The Attachment Theory Workbook by Annie Chen, LMFT. My therapist administered the associated online quiz – Attachment Quiz. If you haven’t figured out my attachment style yet by reading this article, I have an anxious attachment style.
This means I don’t do well with inconsistent behavior, especially from men (but I’m the type that holds men to standards too). People with an anxious attachment style have a need to feel close to their partner. It may come across as “clingy” or “needy.” However, this same need is often driven by fear of abandonment, mistrust, and low self-esteem. I would say knowing your attachment style is helpful because you can work towards having a secure attachment style (with practice) in your relationships – familial, business, work, platonic, or romantic.
2. Become Self-Aware
Most people who are not in the practice of self-care or self-healing are unaware of their triggers, patterns, and behaviors. We are so caught up in the daily minutiae of life that we forget to pay attention to the most important part of our days — ourselves. As Dr. LePera says, make it a conscious habit to pause throughout your day to check in with yourself. Ask yourself:
- How does my body feel?
- What am I doing right now?
- Am I present?
- Am I distracted and lost with other thoughts?
- What do I think or feel when I recall a specific experience with someone?
- What do I think or worry about?
- What would happen if I shared my authentic thoughts, perspective, feelings right now?”
This is what Dr. LePera refers to as exploring your embodied self or fulfilling your authentic needs in chapter two of her book. Consistent mindfulness and self-awareness are key to self-discovery and in any healing journey. Learning to focus on the present moment also includes paying attention to our emotional response to an event or how we think about emotions in general.
3. Practice Vulnerability
The idea of vulnerability is a tough one for me and so many other women for countless reasons. Whether it be toxic family, friendships, relationships, or trauma – trusting others with your thoughts and feelings is not easy. As much as I am open and transparent, I am not as vulnerable. And I believe there is so much power in the duality to be both. To trust someone, let alone a man with your authentic self is a delicate matter.
But it is emotional vulnerability that allows us humans to build authentic connections, create stronger relationships, and break down emotional walls. Emotional vulnerability is not something to be rushed – it takes time and practice from you and the people you choose to have in your life. Medical News Today suggests that we can learn to be vulnerable by opening up more to our closest friends, building our ability to become more trusting, and developing skills to regulate our emotions.
4. Seek Therapy
I have been in therapy for six years and counting. I would consider therapy one of my safe spaces. I am one of those individuals who recommend therapy to everyone as it has given me the tools and resources I need to navigate my life challenges. By choosing to get help, I was able to put my PTSD and depression in remission for four years now. I have also learned how to manage my anxiety.
I am fully aware that in this season of my life requires me to do the work to unlock new levels of self. And any time where I have consciously chosen growth – the universe or life has not failed me. I was able to heal my body, my heart, and my spirit. Now, it’s time to heal my inner child, this hurt little girl who lives in me.
I will say choosing a therapist is similar to dating; you might go through a few potentials until you find a therapist you connect with. Actually, one of my lifelong friends said to me the other day, “Your relationship with your therapist is one of the most important relationships in your life.” I needed her to say that, and I needed to hear it because it’s true. You are essentially trusting a licensed stranger to help you navigate your life on so many levels.
Be picky and ask the questions. Cut the cord at the first red flag given. Again, let me reiterate that emotional detachment is not a mental health diagnosis. It can be treated with the help of a therapist. Emotional detachment only becomes a problem when it starts to interfere with your daily life. Pay attention to changes in your daily behavior and make decisions to cope accordingly.
I am genuinely excited about reconnecting with my emotions. I want to feel all the feels – good, bad, and indifferent. I want to cry all the tears – especially the sad ones. I want to process and release negative emotions. I want to say how I feel in the moment with no fear.
If you are that girl who struggles with emotional connection or thinks you're emotionally detached, I hope that you become willing to face your inner child and show up for her. Don’t run – she has been waiting for you.
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