Your April 2021 Horoscopes Is The New Year Reset You Didn't Know You Needed
Spring is officially here now that the sun has transitioned into Aries, heralding the astrological new year. If the first few months of 2021 didn't feel like the reset you needed, the shift has finally arrived. A beautiful exchange between Saturn and the North Node invites us to set some new career goals for ourselves that are in alignment with our deepest wishes of fulfillment. Towards the middle of the month, the energy pivots into Taurus, encouraging us to reclaim our need for pleasure, comfort, and security. Check out the horoscopes to see what magic is in store for you in April!
Aries
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleAll eyes are on you this month with all of the action taking place in your sign. April kicks off with Mercury teaming up with the Sun revitalizing your spirit for some birthday fun. On the 9th, an harmonious interaction between Saturn and the North Node supports your efforts in fulfilling your dreams and your community--whether online or offline--plays a huge role in your success. The New Moon on the 11th invites you to make a wish for what you'd like to accomplish in the year ahead.
Around the middle of the month, your attention shifts gears from being the life of the party to getting serious about your money. With Venus, Mercury, and the Sun in this part of your sky, the floodgates are opening. New opportunities, financial increase, and promotions are likely during this time. On the 23rd, Mars enters Cancer, motivating you to make some adjustments to your home. A relocation or property investment is supported during this transit. This busy month comes to a close with a full moon on the 26th, encouraging you to resolve any outstanding debts that are hindering your financial freedom.
Taurus
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleApril begins with Mercury transitioning into Aries on the 3rd encouraging you to confront the bully within. Be mindful of the disempowering narratives you've got stuck on loop. An important conversation taking place around the 9th assures that your hard work and commitment to your goals is paving a path towards greater abundance. On the 11th, the New Moon encourages you to connect with healthy outlets for expressing your anger which is just as valid as any other emotion.
Towards the middle of the month, the energy shifts from Aries into your sign. On the 19th, your birthday season officially begins with the Sun joined by Venus and Mercury bringing you all of the blessings for your Solar Return. Your desire to learn something new or deepen the knowledge of your craft is heightened when Mars enters Cancer on the 23rd. Sign up for a course, attend a workshop, or read some new books to brush up on your expertise. The full moon on the 26th reveals any hidden agendas so you're clear about who is really #TeamTaurus.
Gemini
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Your friends and social network have you busier than usual when Mercury enters Aries on the 3rd. This is a persuasive time in which you can rally up the troops in support of your vision. Use your influence wisely. On the 9th, Saturn and the North Node aim to align you with your destiny but trust that it will require some sacrifice. The New Moon on the 11th encourages you to dream bigger! Set a lofty goal for yourself that you want to accomplish within the next year. You'd be surprised by how the Universe orchestrates things in your favor once you truly commit to your heart's desires.
On the 14th, Venus transitions into Taurus with the Sun and Mercury joining the party a few days later. As the planet of vitality dips into your 12th house, you're invited to rest and reflect on the past year in preparation for your birthday season. When Mars enters Cancer on the 23rd, your need for financial security and physical comfort is all the more obvious, which has the potential to inspire you to take action towards creating a more luxurious life for yourself. The Full Moon on the 26th could reveal a hidden enemy amongst your circle. Take note and move (away) accordingly.
Cancer
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleApril is a busy month for you particularly when it comes to your career. With the Sun, Mercury, and Venus transiting this part of your chart early on in the month, you'll be busy with meetings, interviews, and the likes. You've got a little more pep in your step than usual, so make these first couple of weeks count. On the 9th, an uncanny spiritual experience gives you a glimpse into a past life pattern that you need to resolve in this lifetime. It's time to embrace the freedom that comes with living life by your own rules (as long as it doesn't harm anyone else, of course). The New Moon on the 11th presents a new career path that will help you cultivate more leadership skills.
On the 14th, Venus shifts into Taurus and is shortly followed behind by Mercury and the Sun. If you've got a big dream in mind and feel like it's impossible to do on your own, you're right! You weren't meant to go at it alone. Enlist the forces of your friends so you can all get to the bag together. Towards the end of the month, Mars enters your sign which could be a mixed bag of energy. One day you feel like the Energizer bunny and the next day you need at least 16 hours of sleep. Give yourself grace as you navigate the next month and a half. The month winds down with a romantic full moon encouraging you to indulge in some sensual seduction.
Leo
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The month ahead is a busy one for you kicking off with Mercury entering Aries on the 3rd, inspiring you to venture into uncharted territory. Opportunities to share your expertise--potentially on a global scale--are made available to you during this transit. On the 9th, Saturn and the North Node team up to accelerate your growth through your social network. The New Moon on the 11th marks the reemergence of your spirit and its thirst for more wisdom.
On the 14th, Venus transitions into Taurus which could result in some pressure from an authority figure. All eyes are on you and the people are watching it. Remember that these are the moments that separate those that are really "bout it bout it" and those that are just fakin the funk. When Mercury and the Sun join this part of your chart, your every move is under a microscope. Put your best foot forward to secure your success and reputation. On the 23rd, Mars enters Cancer which will require you to prioritize more rest and reflection. April wraps up with a Full Moon, encouraging you to find the balance between nurturing your family and pursuing your goals.
Virgo
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleMercury is kicking up the dust in the shadows when it begins its transit through Aries on the 3rd. It's time to face your deepest fears with a bold and empowering perspective. Instead of harping on being the underdog, it's time to share the tale of how you slayed your metaphorical dragons. A much-needed adjustment in your lifestyle becomes all the more obvious around the 9th. Does your work truly support the life you want to live or someone else's idea of success? On the 11th, the New Moon is a supportive time for gaining financial support from others.
Towards the middle of the month, the energy shifts from vivacious Aries to down-to-Earth Taurus. With Venus, Mercury, and the Sun in your sister sign, your wanderlust is calling. Planning an international vacation may be top priority for you. While some of you may consider going back to school, others of you may have opportunities extended for you to teach others. When Mars shifts into Cancer on the 23rd, your friends are backing up your goals which gives you the wind beneath your wings to continue soaring to new heights. The month wraps up with a full moon revealing some hidden information. Can you keep a secret?
Libra
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleThe beginning of the month invites you to reassess your alliances and partnerships. Remember that asserting your wants and needs isn't synonymous with being controlling. On the 9th, your desire for freedom, creativity, and self-expression is heightened, helping you make your mark while inspiring others in the process. The New Moon on the 11th could have you signing your name on a contract for a new job. If you're in a serious commitment, things may suddenly be going to the next level.
On the 14th, Venus shifts into Taurus which is shortly followed behind by the sun and Mercury. You're feeling a little more private for the next month as you work on healing and deepening a connection behind the scenes. When Mars shifts into Cancer on the 23rd, you're feeling the pressure when it comes to making some career moves but trust that you'll rise to the occasion which will ultimately grant you favor in the eyes of an authoritative figure. April comes to a close with a full moon helping you resolve some unprocessed emotions that affected your self-esteem. You have the right to take up more space in the world and shine your light as the brilliant soul that you are. Now go be great!
Scorpio
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The first part of the month has your schedule picking up the pace when Mercury shifts into Aries on the 3rd. This is a good time to take care of those outstanding tasks on your to-do list, schedule your annual health screenings, and get your ass back in the gym. On the 9th, Saturn trines the North Node, inspiring you to dream beyond the limitations of the generational traumas affecting your lineage. How are you preparing yourself to be a good ancestor for those to come? The New Moon on the 11th invites you to embrace some different habits to improve your lifestyle.
Towards the middle of the month, the energy shifts from high-spirited Aries to lowkey Taurus which has you prioritizing your relationships a little more than usual. With Venus in this part of your chart, you're being challenged to embrace a new way of relating to others. When Mercury and the Sun join this part of your chart on the 19th, the triggers are real but your awareness is realer. Stay present in the moment instead of getting drawn into an old story. On the 23rd, Mars enters Cancer which has you ready for another stamp in your passport. The month wraps up with a full moon in your sign reminding you of just how powerful you truly are.
Sagittarius
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April kicks off with Mercury shifting into hot-headed Aries reminding you to think before you speak particularly in matters of love. On the 9th, you're committed to your vision of success and more discerning about the alliances you need to build to support your efforts. The New Moon on the 11th encourages you to take a bold risk when it comes to your creative expression, making this a great time to start a new hobby or project.
When Venus enters Taurus on the 14th, you're getting serious about a romantic prospect (or, at the least, attracting someone who's interested in something long-term). When Mercury and the Sun join the party, it's a good time to establish a better routine for yourself. You have the ability to accomplish quite a bit over the next few weeks if you stay disciplined. On the 23rd, Mars enters Cancer which could trigger some insecurities and fears of abandonment. Working with a therapist could be beneficial during this transit. The month winds down with a full moon in Scorpio revealing someone's true intentions which ultimately helps you get clear on where the relationship is headed.
Capricorn
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Home and family matters have your attention in the first part of April when Mercury enters Aries. Some challenges may require some extra patience on your behalf as you aim to establish a greater sense of security. On the 9th, you're ready to commit to a shift in your career, whether you're moving on to a new job or expanding your business into uncharted territory. The New Moon on the 11th invites you to plant your roots somewhere new, making this a supportive time for relocating or renovating your current abode.
On the 14th, Venus shifts into Taurus inviting you to indulge in some play and romance. When Mercury and the Sun joins this part of your chart on the 19th, you've got some big plans when it comes to a creative project. Don't be afraid to invest in talents. You never know how far they can take you. Towards the end of the month, Mars enters Cancer which could result in some frustrating relationship dynamics or some steamy sexual tension. Make love or make war--it's your choice. April wraps up with a full moon on the 26th revealing who is truly #TeamCappie and who ain't. As they say, "The truth shall set you free."
Aquarius
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The month kicks off with Mercury shifting into Aries lighting up your house of communications. You're feeling passionate, enthusiastic, and maybe a little bossy so just keep that in mind in your interactions with others. On the 9th, Saturn trines the North Node of destiny, encouraging you to take your creative pursuits more seriously. This is a particularly fated time for you in which you may even meet a significant romantic interest. The New Moon on the 11th is the perfect time to start that blog, write that book, or host a live session on Instagram. Your influence is powerful at this time so use it wisely.
Toward the middle of the month, Venus enters Taurus which has you wanting to cozy up at home with your significant other or your fur baby. When Mercury and the sun join this part of your chart be mindful of family drama. People are a little more stubborn than usual so you may have a hard time convincing others. On the 23rd, Mars enters Cancer which has you busy with daily activities, appointments, and errands. April wraps up with a full moon revealing someone's misuse of power serving as an example of how not to move. Remember--what's done in the dark always comes to the light.
Pisces
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Your money and values are the top priority when Mercury enters Aries on the 3rd. Your negotiation skills are next-level during this transit, making this a good time to suggest a raise or promotion. When Saturn and the North Node meet up on the 9th, you're serious about moving past self-imposed limitations to create a more solid sense of security within yourself. The New Moon on the 11th invites you to strike for gold with a new stream of income. As one of the most multi-faceted zodiac signs, you've got plenty of hidden gifts and talents up your sleeve.
On the 14th, Venus shifts into Taurus, making this a good time to try a dating app if you're open for love. The energy is supportive for nurturing long-lasting commitments, making this the ideal time to shoot your shot. When Mercury and the sun join Venus, people are hanging on to your every word. Use your voice to inspire others to believe in their abilities (and their earning potential). On the 23rd, Mars enters Cancer, encouraging you to indulge in some romance. Flirt with that cutie at the coffee shop. Say "yes" to that date offer. And show yourself some love with some self-pleasure. April wraps up with a mysterious full moon inviting you to expand beyond your comfort zone in pursuit of your soul's ultimate fulfillment.
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Featured image by Laci Jordan for xoNecole
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'It's Not All In Your Head': How Four Black Women Finally Got The Answers They Needed About Fibroids
If someone had told me I’d be working toward my third fibroid surgery in less than six years, I would have had a hard time believing them. First, because obviously, no one wants to ever hear the word "surgery" (unless it’s cosmetic surgery you’re opting for). But the more significant reason is I’d never heard any of the women in my life talk about fibroids, so the idea of having all of the complex issues because of them, on top of surgeries, was truly a foreign concept.
After my doctor told me I’d need a second surgery in March of 2023—a hysteroscopic myomectomy—after bleeding every day for over six months, I was over it. Not just over the symptoms. But I was done feeling siloed on an island dealing with the pain, feeling tired all the time, and the heaviness of what felt like endless trips to the doctor for ultrasounds, blood transfusions, blood count checks, MRIs, etc.
I would try to explain what I was feeling, and my pain was written off because I guess period pain is just supposed to be normal. I’m here to tell you it is not. And because we’ve been conditioned to just deal, that’s the way things should stay. Yeah, no.
What is a hysteroscopic myomectomy? Hysteroscopic myomectomy is the most minimally invasive procedure to treat fibroids. A surgeon removes fibroids by inserting a hysteroscope into the uterine cavity through the vagina and cervix.
So, I wrote and directed an animated short film to bring educational and entertainment value to helping the world learn about fibroids. With $25,000 of my own money, I went forth and made the film titled Super High: A Period Piece. Now, it’s making its rounds on the festival circuit, even gaining entry into two Oscar-qualifying festivals: the Chicago International Film Festival and the New Orleans Film Festival. We even won Best Narrative Short at the Morehouse Human Rights Film Festival in Atlanta.
As I was venturing onto the festival circuit, my editor asked me to write a piece highlighting the experiences of Black women with fibroids. Initially, I planned to highlight up to 15 stories. However, as I started working on this story, I thought hearing the experiences more in-depth would be equally impactful. So, we chatted with four women about their fibroid journeys.
The one thing we all had in common, which made me sad but also made me feel seen, was that none of us knew much about them beforehand. However, our willingness to openly share our stories will hopefully change that for many women now and beyond.
Keep reading for four women’s stories about their journey with fibroids.
Rosco Spears, artist and creative director
Before your journey with fibroids, did you know much about them?
Before my journey with fibroids, I didn't know much about them. I'd never heard of fibroids until women around me started getting diagnosed. I was dealing with heavy, painful periods long before I was privy to any of these diagnoses.
Shortly before I was officially diagnosed with having fibroids (2012), I learned that my sister and other women in my family also had fibroids. As I've grown older, I've learned that my three sisters, many cousins, aunts, etc, have also had fibroids. It's simply an issue that was never discussed.
How did you find out you had fibroids?
I found out that I had fibroids while living in NYC. I was fed up with the pain and discomfort from my period, so I shopped around until I got an answer that I thought made sense. I met a wonderful woman doctor who finally diagnosed me, and she offered me several options for easing the discomfort. During this time, I would often bleed between periods.
In 2013, one of my "in-between" moments was more than the spotting that I was used to, so I took myself to the emergency [room]. I learned that my hemoglobin [levels] were at seven, and the doctors wouldn't let me leave the hospital without getting a blood transfusion. They also highly recommended that I get surgery to remove the fibroids. Once I officially got the diagnosis, it was scary, but it also felt amazing to know that I could begin planning a path forward.
What are hemoglobin levels? To ensure adequate tissue oxygenation—a very important complex dance between the lungs, blood, and cardiovascular system—a sufficient hemoglobin level has to be maintained. The normal Hb level for women is 12 to 16 g/dl. Low hemoglobin levels mean your body isn’t getting enough oxygen, which is why you feel very tired and weak.
If you're comfortable, we'd love to hear about your treatment. Did things go as planned? Were you nervous about what your doctor suggested?
I've had two abdominal myomectomies, one in 2013 (16 fibroids were removed) and another in 2020 (51 fibroids were removed). I was nervous about the idea of being cut open during the myomectomy, but I didn't think that the outcome could be any worse than the pain that I was already dealing with. Both surgeries went just as planned (aside from the 2nd surgery being rescheduled due to COVID-19), and my recovery from both was amazing.
In 2013, I was a bit unhinged. I went location scouting for a photo shoot for The Lip Bar three days after I got home from the hospital. My family was very upset, but I honestly felt fine. I had some abdominal pain, but within two weeks, I was back in the studio on my feet all day. After my second surgery, the plan was to try and have a child shortly after recovery. I took my time with healing and did things according to the book.
What is a myomectomy? A myomectomy is surgery to remove uterine fibroids. There are several types of myomectomies, but the procedure you and your doctor decide is right for you will depend on factors like location, number, and size of your fibroids.
How did you feel post-treatment? How has getting treatment changed your quality of life?
I felt/feel amazing post-treatment! For about 2-3 years after both surgeries, my periods were much lighter, and the pain was light [and] much more bearable than it was with the fibroids. My quality of life is much different post-surgery.
There have been years [when] I simply did not have any energy while I was on my period. The most I could do was get up to go to the bathroom and get right back in bed. Or I'd have to carry a change of clothes with me when traveling to work because I couldn't afford to take off during my period, but I knew that at some point, I would bleed through everything. So, in that regard, life is beautiful. I'm no longer passing out, nor do I feel the need to bring an extra set of pants along on the ride.
While my quality of life has improved tremendously, I often joke and say that I have PTSD from having bad periods. What I mean is that I still check my pants often when I'm on my period. And I still get anxiety if I'm in public and I'm on day two or three of my period because who knows if it is just a little blood that I feel coming down or it's a huge clot that's going to ruin my pants. And I still know better than to try and wash my hair on my heavy days because there isn't enough energy to do both.
For someone just starting their fibroid journey, what are two pieces of advice you'd give them?
You got this, sis! It's a difficult journey, but please seek advice from other women on the journey. If one doctor is not giving you sufficient information, find a new doctor. Make sure you're exploring all of the options for fibroid removal/shrinking treatments [because] it is not one size fits all. And take your iron supplements, boo.
How important do you think it is for us to share our fibroid stories with each other and talk about this openly?
Oh God, if I could pay women to share their fibroid stories, I would. It's imperative that we talk with one another about our experiences in health. I shared my fibroid story years ago because I was so lost when I was on my journey. One of my sisters had the surgery before I did, but other than her, I didn't have anyone to talk to about fibroids.
I felt very alone, isolated, and somewhat embarrassed because it felt like this wasn't happening to anyone else around me. It makes a world of difference when you can talk with someone about an issue they are also facing. We will learn a lot more by discussing shared experiences—much of which you cannot learn from talking to your doctor or Google.
La-Anna Douglas, women’s advocate and motivational speaker
Before your journey with fibroids, did you know much about them?
Being someone who started my period at the age of 10, I was in the dark when it pertained to fibroids and other reproductive health issues. I had never heard of fibroids, and I didn’t know that the pain I was experiencing, along with fertility delays, was because of the fibroids sitting in between my two uteruses. The pelvic pain, excruciating periods, fatigue, and protruding belly to someone else would have been a dead giveaway. But I had no idea what was going on with my body. I also did not know of anyone in my family dealing with fibroids.
How did you find out you had fibroids?
I was diagnosed with fibroids by a reproductive endocrinologist [and] was finally properly diagnosed after suffering for 16 years. I finally found a doctor willing to listen to my concerns and, most of all, believed that I wasn’t making it up. She scheduled me for a thorough examination, and I was soon scheduled for laparoscopic surgery. I was diagnosed with three fibroids, endometriosis, and a uterus didelphys (two uteruses and two cervixes).
Uterus didelphys is a rare congenital condition where you're born with two uteruses. It's commonly called a double uterus.
Again, I was misdiagnosed for years, and my pain was minimized. I was labeled as the girl with bad periods. I would have cramps for 3-4 days on my left side of my belly and then cramps for 3-4 days on my right. In actuality, I was having two periods from two different uteruses with three fibroids pressing on my wombs with endometriosis wrapped around my fallopian tubes and my uterus. When I heard all of the different diagnoses, I was angry, overwhelmed, scared, and confused. But the worst thing is that I was unprepared mentally and emotionally for the diagnosis and the journey ahead.
"I was misdiagnosed for years, and my pain was minimized. I was labeled as the girl with bad periods. In actuality, I was having two periods from two different uteruses with three fibroids pressing on my wombs with endometriosis wrapped around my fallopian tubes and my uterus."
If you're comfortable, we'd love to hear about your treatment. Did things go as planned? Were you nervous about what your doctor suggested?
I was told not to worry about removing the fibroids surgically after being diagnosed in my 20s back in 2008. But in 2020, during the pandemic, my pain started to escalate again. So, I was scheduled for an ultrasound, an MRI, and then a double-balloon procedure. I was told that my fibroids had grown and they were contributing to the secondary infertility I was experiencing. My doctor gave me two options. Would I rather have a hysterectomy?
I had already gone through 30 years of horrible periods, eight years of infertility [and] finally having a miracle baby in 2013 by God’s grace, and I had already gone through multiple procedures. Or I could do the robotic laparoscopic myomectomy, where they would remove the fibroids and open my two cervixes by also doing a hysteroscopy. At first, [I] wanted to do a hysterectomy, but [after] talking to my family and praying about it, I decided on having the robotic laparoscopic myomectomy. I was a little nervous but knew I was in good hands.
What is a laparoscopic myomectomy? A laparoscopic myomectomy is a minimally invasive procedure to remove uterine fibroids. A surgeon makes four tiny incisions in your abdomen and then uses a laparoscope, which is a special instrument that contains a light and video camera, to operate through the incisions.
How did you feel post-treatment? How has getting treatment changed your quality of life?
Post-treatment, I felt relieved and grateful. The healing journey was okay. I had a lot of support from my family, especially my husband. After the healing, [I am] loving on my body because the many scars on my belly are my beauty marks. I started to get more confident in who I was. The doctor who did the robotic laparoscopic myomectomy believed that I would get pregnant again.
Well, six months after the surgery, I became pregnant with our second miracle baby girl after eight years of secondary infertility at the age of 40. And to think, [had] I decided on the hysterectomy, she would not be here. Our surprise baby has brought so much happiness to our family.
For someone just starting their fibroid journey, what are two pieces of advice you'd give them?
For anyone just beginning their fibroid journey, my advice would be to advocate for yourself no matter what the diagnosis may be. Your voice matters, and you control your narrative. If the doctor is not listening to you or your concerns, you have every right to seek a second, third, fourth, or as many opinions as you wish until you are heard and properly cared for. KNOW YOUR WORTH!
[And,] to always love on yourself through the journey with fibroids and anything else you may be going through. YOU ARE ENOUGH. The physical scars and the invisible scars are your beauty marks. And share with others how you are feeling and what you are going through. Please do not suffer in silence!
How important do you think it is for us to share our fibroid stories with each other and talk about this openly?
It is so important that we share our journey with fibroids because there is power in supportive stories. We all must realize that we are not alone. There are so many of us who have similar situations going on or may be feeling the same feelings you may be feeling.
Sharing your story also helps to heal those hurts that happen on the road to diagnosis. Healing taps into the strength that has been lying dormant inside of us, and when that strength is ignited, there is nothing that can stop you from advocating for yourself and others who begin to share their stories with you.
Dawn Heels, award-winning fibroid advocate and campaigner
Before your journey with fibroids, did you know much about them?
I knew absolutely nothing about fibroids apart from the fact that my mum had one (she found out when she was pregnant with me), but even with this information, she didn't know anything about them.
How did you find out you had fibroids?
I had always suffered [from] extremely heavy, painful periods. I thought [this] was normal, [so] I didn't link it to the fact that something could be wrong with me. I first discovered I had fibroids after experiencing constant pain in the left-hand side of my abdomen in 2016. During an ultrasound scan, I was told I had 2 x 4 cm fibroids by the sonographer.
Two types of ultrasound scan can be used to help diagnose fibroids: an abdominal ultrasound scan – where the ultrasound probe is moved over the outside of your tummy (abdomen) a transvaginal ultrasound scan – where a small ultrasound probe is inserted into your vagina.
I hadn’t a clue what they were, and when I went back to see my doctor, he told me that I had nothing to worry about because fibroids were common, normal, and I should deal with any pain with a hot water bottle and ibuprofen. And because he told me I had nothing to worry about, at that moment, I didn’t worry.
If you're comfortable, we'd love to hear about your treatment. Did things go as planned? Were you nervous about what your doctor suggested?
Over the next six years, my pain and suffering got worse. I displayed horrendous fibroid symptoms: bum cheek pain, leg pain, painful, heavy, clotty periods, lower back pain, extreme pain, abdominal/pelvic pain, early pregnancy symptoms, tiredness, ‘preggo belly,’ painful sex, long periods and was infertile. I finally saw a consultant who changed my life, as he was the first person to listen to me and put a plan in place.
"He transvaginally scanned me and told me I actually had at least six fibroids, the biggest being the size of a grapefruit, and with that, I would have to have an open myomectomy."
He transvaginally scanned me and told me I actually had at least six fibroids, the biggest being the size of a grapefruit, and with that, I would have to have an open myomectomy. I cried so many tears because I thought if I was to ever have an operation that resembled the C-section, I would be giving birth to a baby, not tumors! The operation was a success, and he removed 16 fibroids and left 2 in to give me a chance at conceiving. I lost a lot of blood and had an emergency blood transfusion one week later.
After eight weeks of healing, I started to feel much better.
How did you feel post-treatment? How has getting treatment changed your quality of life?
The open myomectomy gave me my life back—a good quality of life. I wasn’t in pain anymore. My periods were shorter and significantly lighter, and best of all, I fell pregnant six months after surgery!
What is an open myomectomy? An abdominal, or open, myomectomy removes fibroids through an incision in the abdomen, typically on the bikini line. The recovery time generally lasts up to six weeks.
For someone just starting their fibroid journey, what are two pieces of advice you'd give them?
Educate yourself on the condition so you can guide the conversation and ask relevant questions when going into your consultations. Advocate for yourself, too! Too many of us will just agree to all sorts of nonsense just because the medical professional says so! You are the expert over your own body, so speak up!
How important do you think it is for us to share our fibroid stories with each other and talk about this openly?
I became an ‘accidental’ advocate because I shared my story. My inbox was inundated with messages from other ladies who had suffered or were currently suffering. That’s how powerful a share is.
Camille Austin, model and content creator
Before your journey with fibroids, did you know much about them? For example, did you know what symptoms to look out for?
I did not know much, if not anything at all. So, I did not know what symptoms to look out for.
Did you know if anyone in your family had ever dealt with them?
Yes, my mother, but she was already going through menopause, so our symptoms did not seem comparable.
How did you find out you had fibroids?
[I went] to my primary care physician, who is also a WOC. She performed a pelvic exam, and when I told her about all of my symptoms, she thought it was fibroids. It took a while and [was] frankly [an] annoying process to finally get to an MRI where they found three fibroids, one the size of 15cm.
And how did you feel once you got the official diagnosis?
I felt relieved and scared—scared about what this meant about my fertility. [But,] relieved that I had answers and I was going to get better.
If you're comfortable, we'd love to hear about your treatment. Did things go as planned? Were you nervous about what your doctor suggested?
I had to have surgery due to the size [of my fibroid.] I had an open and laparoscopic procedure done and was on the table for eight hours. I did not initially trust my surgeon as she wanted to jump straight into a hysterectomy. Common practice says that the only way to stop them from ever coming back is through a hysterectomy, which I find to be a bit extreme. To me, it sounds like it's just under-researched, and not enough efforts are being made because this largely impacts WOC, but I digress.
"My surgeon thought because I'm so young, healthy, and strong, she did not put me on a hospital list, which gives another doctor the ability to treat me overnight should something happen. Well, something happened."
My surgeon thought because I'm so young, healthy, and strong, she did not put me on a hospital list, which gives another doctor the ability to treat me overnight should something happen. Well, something happened. I found out I'm allergic to Dilaudid (a common pain med). I broke out and had a third-degree chemical burn around my stomach from the adhesive, and my skin completely broke out. There was not a doctor available to give me even so much as a Benadryl to ease the discomfort. Nurses can't prescribe meds.
It wasn't until I threatened to leave the hospital—I got up and packed my bags—that I received a pink Benadryl pill after waiting for about 6 hours. About a week after I got home, I broke into a fever and was septic. I was rushed back to the hospital and had to spend an additional four days. In short, the healing process did not go according to plan.
After your difficult hospital experience and healing journey, how did you feel post-treatment? How has getting treatment changed your quality of life?
After treatment, I felt so much better after everything was said and done. I would still get the surgery if I had to do it again. When I eventually healed, my periods were shorter. I could fit my clothes again, and I just had more energy to do things since I was not as anemic.
For someone just starting their fibroid journey, what are two pieces of advice you'd give them?
[First,] push for that MRI sooner than later. If you catch them when they are small, you can look into non-invasive ways to get rid of them.
Make sure your doctor has a hospital list, and ask who will be in charge of taking care of you when your doctor is not around.
What does an MRI mean for fibroids? An MRI uses a magnetic field and radio waves to create computerized, 3D images of the uterus. These images can help your doctor decide which treatment is best for you and rule out other issues like adenomyosis and endometriosis.
How important do you think it is for us to share our fibroid stories with each other and talk about this openly?
I think it's important because we can all learn from each other, and this is not just becoming a "woman over 30" problem. According to my doctors, I was far too young, and due to my age, this was something that went unnoticed. Frankly, it should not have been a far stretch because I have fibroids in my breast tissue as well, but somehow, no correlation has been made.
So we have to press the issue, so hopefully, we can look into why this is happening to so many women and not allow a hysterectomy to be the first response.
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Are You Craving A Past Sex Partner Out Of Nowhere? It Could Be Your 'Sex Clock.'
Semi-recently, while talking to a client about why they were semi-dreading the fall season, it reminded me of something that a former sex partner of mine once told me. I’ll start with what my client said first. “Shellie, I don’t know what it is about the fall, but I can go the whole year without thinking about [so-and-so], and then, suddenly, November hits and I’m horny as hell — not just for anyone but him. It’s crazy!"
Eh. Maybe. Maybe not. I say that because…peep what my ex-sex buddy used to tell me when he would find himself doing his own version of “Hey Big Head”, in text form to me, every October for about five years or so. “Everyone has a sex clock. There are some people who stand out to you sexually who you definitely find yourself craving around the same time of year that you started having sex with them. People don’t talk about it but it’s real.”
Now as far as how “common” it is, I’m not exactly sure. However, what I will say is that whenever I happen to share this concept with other individuals (clients included), 8 times outta 10, I basically get the same type of response. First, they look at me like I’m crazy, then they pause and reflect and then their mouth opens wide as if in shock that my sex-ex just may be onto something…BIG.
Now before we get into all of this, I’ll let you know, off the rip, that I can’t find an exact science to back his theory up specifically.
At the same time, though, there is other types of data surrounding the topic of sex and what it does to our minds that could cause you to believe that he’s not totally off base in thinking that a “sex clock” just might be an actual thing; that it’s something that hell, he should at do a Ted Talk — or YouTube video or Instagram Live — about so that more folks won’t think that they are going low-key insane should it happen to them.
Ah, sex clocks. Let me explain further.
This Is How Sex Affects Your Memory
GiphyIn order to lay some foundation here, let’s first talk about how sex affects your memory, in general. For starters, did you know that vagina-penis intercourse has actually been proven to improve both your learning capabilities as well as your memory (it also decreases anxiety and depression)? Probably the easiest way to explain how and why is when you engage in this type of sexual intimacy, it strengthens your hippocampus which is the part of your brain that is not only responsible for learning and memory but how you process emotions too. Okay, so intercourse between a man and a woman boosts memory power and also taps into one’s emotions. Bookmark that.
HuffPost published an article several years back entitled, “Sex And The Memory of Sexual Experience.” Two things that the article said was “Researchers are seeing that certain areas of the brain light up depending on the thoughts, actions and experiences of a person” and “The rush of 'love' chemicals; dopamine, oxytocin, endorphins, opiates and other neurotransmitters, fill our body and brain quickly to produce the incredible feelings of love and attachment…” to the point where, if the action (in this case sex) happens several times, it can actually “codify” (makes plans or arrangements) your brain — and stays there.
Once that transpires, “our memories dictate how we will feel about a similar situation because our brain and body is coded from past experience.”
Now, if your brain can “code” the experience, don’t you think that it can also “code” the time when you were first introduced to the experience? Let’s keep going.
The Impact That Nostalgia Has on Your Sex Life
GiphyAh, nostalgia. If there’s one thing that is underestimated, far more than it ever should be when it comes to relationships, it’s that. In fact, I was recently in a counseling session with an engaged couple who happen to be each other’s first love.
What they are working through right now is if the potency of being each other’s first love is enough to get them through just how much they’ve changed since they first dated one another (chile, I totally get it; check out “What Happens When 'The One Who Got Away'...Comes Back?”). A part of the reason why it’s hard for them to process all of this clearly is because of the power of what nostalgia can actually do to a person.
Case in point. Although nostalgia — you know, reflecting on the past — can create warm fuzzies (if what happened in the past is good), it’s also the ultimate “editor” in the sense that, if you’re not careful, it can put you intoa state of denial about the entire experience. Not only that butnostalgia can get you to idealize situations too.
I totally get this because the guy who introduced me to the whole sex clock idea, although sex with him was pretty good (at least most of the time) and he actually was my first as far as certain types of sexual…umm…things…LOL, overall, he kind of was an ass yet because my memories of him would go to how he made me feel sexually first, whenever those texts would come, that would be the initial thing that I would think about — and if I did indulge him, it wasn’t until after a couple of weeks (or months) of copulation, with him, AGAIN, that I’d realize…”Ohhh, this is why I stopped sleeping with your ass…because you are an ass.” (Not mean or anything like that, just…selfish AF.)
Anyway, if you can relate on any level to what I’m saying here, just like the nostalgic memories of Thanksgiving or Christmas can do a real number on you every time the holiday season rolls around, why couldn’t the same thing happen if you recall the time of year when you had some amazing sex with someone and that month or season creeps back around too?
Yep. Bookmark all of this as well as we keep on going.Yes, Other Factors Play a Role in Your Peak Desires for Sex
GiphyIf you add to all of what I’ve already stated, the power of sexual chemistry — whew, chile. Definitely a part of the reason why some people tend to have a bigger sexual impact on us than others typically starts with sexual chemistry because that is all about the immediate physical attraction that you feel towards someone else — and that can’t be faked nor does it happen with just anyone.
Shoot, even when I reflect on my sexual past now, although I had pretty satisfying sex with about 75 percent of my partners, there are some who, to this day, are able to bring a certain smile to my face that others do not — and it’s because of the magnetic connection we shared and yes, having a deep mutual attraction definitely played a huge role in that.
If you then factor in the hormone levels/sex drive that you had at the time of engaging someone who you had a strong sexual connection with (for instance, if it’s someone from your 20s when most folks’ hormones are absolutely raging), the type of relationship that you had with that individual (for example, even if you weren’t officially together, they still made you laugh or feel safe or impacted you in a way that others didn’t or haven’t) and even if you take into account some of the other monumental things that may have been transpiring in your life at the time when you were being intimate with them.
Again, doesn’t it make sense that around the time when they first entered your world, sexually, your mind, body, and spirit may go back there and relive it all on some level, every time that time of year rolls around? Even if it’s just for a brief moment?
At Least Consider the Idea of a “Sex Clock” Before Taking Action
GiphyHmph. With all that has been covered, suddenly a “sex clock” makes sense, doesn’t it? I mean, even I will say that what’s truly wild about all of this is? Y’all, although the guy who brought it into my own psyche and I are pretty cool to this day, it’s been over two decades since we’ve messed around, and yet — a part of what caused me to even pitch this topic is because I thought about fall, how October is my favorite month of the year and yep, for a moment, he came to mind. Why? Because we started having sex in October. That damn sex clock.
So, when it comes to your own sex clock, just what should you do with this kind of information? I mean, you know how the saying goes: an ounce of prevention is certainly worth a pound of cure. Keeping that in mind, if you consider that memories, nostalgia, sexual chemistry, and your hormones are all science-based reasons to “crave” a blast from your past (pun intended and not intended), then when…whoever he is comes to your mind, now there is no need to overthink it or stress out about it. Maybe it’s just your sex clock alarm going off.
Acknowledge it. Woosah through it. And really ponder if replying to that text or DM is actually worth it.
Because sometimes alarms remind us to do something.
Other times? They warn us to wake up.
Especially when a (so-called) sex clock is involved, chile.
Feel me? Now, more than ever…I bet you do.
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