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Your May 2021 Horoscopes Are All About Expanding Your Net Worth & Your Network
The month of May continues to up the ante as the majority of the celestial bodies shift from Aries into Taurus and Gemini. On the 3rd, Mercury enters its home sign, Gemini, submerging us into the quickening. Over the next few weeks, your manifestation abilities are moving at the speed of light. Tap into this energy before Mercury goes Retrograde later this month. The New Moon in Taurus invites you to expand your net worth through new opportunities and financial gains. Luck is on your side when Jupiter enters Pisces on the 13th. Check out your horoscope to see what magic May has in store for you!
Aries
Aries
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May kicks off with Mercury shifting your focus towards your busy daily affairs. To-do lists will help you stay on top of all the small tasks that have a tendency to get lost in the shuffle. On the 6th, you're feeling inspired by your journey and motivated to share your success story with others. When Venus joins the Gemini party with Mercury, your personal magnetism is heightened through your gift of gab and online presence. The New Moon on the 11th encourages you to explore new terrain to increase your income.
The Sun enters Gemini on the 20th, enhancing your popularity. Although you typically roll solo, it doesn't hurt to have a group of loyal supporters. On the 23rd, Saturn goes Retrograde, inviting you to deepen your knowledge of your craft and implement new routines that will turn your dreams into reality. A magical Full Moon Lunar Eclipse on the 26th shines the spotlight on you and the gems of wisdom you've acquired throughout your journey. The month wraps up with Mercury Retrograde helping you review current projects, revamp your website, and get a little more organized.
Taurus
Taurus
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Your personal values and finances come into focus when Mercury enters Gemini on the 3rd. On the 8th, Venus shifts into this same part of your chart, inviting you to assess your beliefs about your body image. Writing love letters to yourself and reading them to yourself in front of a mirror can do wonders for your self-esteem. The New Moon in your sign encourages you to take healthy measures in improving your appearance. A new hairstyle or wardrobe may be just what you need to boost your confidence. On the 13th, Jupiter enters Pisces, emphasizing the importance of networking and friendship.
Team work makes the dream work.
Gemini season officially begins on the 20th to revitalize your bank account. On the 23rd, Saturn goes Retrograde which could create some friction between you and an authority figure. Stick to the rules during this transit to avoid unnecessary conflict—unless, of course, you are your own boss. If you're self-employed, leadership development could benefit you personally and professionally. The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse on the 26th illuminates emotional wounds that need your attention. Remember—you have to feel it to heal it. The month comes to a close with our second Mercury Retrograde of the year inviting you to revisit conversations about your earning potential. By the end of the time Mercury goes direct, you'll have a more holistic perspective of how much you truly bring to the table.
Gemini
Gemini
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This month is action-packed from start to finish with Mercury, kicking the party off when it enters your sign on the 3rd. Let's just say that life is going into overdrive for you. When Venus joins this part of your chart, your magnetism has you attracting financial blessings and possibly some romance, too. On the 11th, the New Moon invites you to disconnect for a moment to recalibrate your subconscious so you can experience more guilt-free abundance and pleasure because you deserve it! When Jupiter shifts into Pisces on the 13th, you'll be challenged to stay disciplined in your career endeavors. By this time next year, you'll be amazed at how much progress you made.
Your birthday season begins when the Sun enters your sign on the 20th! All eyes are on you as you celebrate your Solar Return. On the 23rd, Saturn goes Retrograde inviting you to redefine any aspects of your spiritual truth that were bestowed upon you by those in positions of power. The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse on the 26th helps you resolve any relationship conflicts. If a win-win situation can't be agreed upon, then it just may be time to sever ties. Our second Mercury Retrograde of the year closes the month out, granting you the opportunity to tie up loose ends in relationships and projects.
Cancer
Cancer
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May invites you to into your shell to reflect on the past year as you prepare for your Solar Return. With Mercury and Venus in Gemini, the outside world can be a bit overstimulating, making it imperative for you to prioritize some time to retreat into your quiet, safe space. The New Moon on the 11th dissuades you from convincing anyone of your worth and encourages you to nurture connections with people that already recognize your value. This is also a supportive time to start building the foundation for how you want to impact your community—both online and offline.
When Jupiter enters Pisces on the 13th, you've got the Midas touch.
If you work in communications, the cosmos is stretching you to actualize your potential while also offering opportunities to share your content on a bigger platform. Try not to overthink yourself out of the blessings coming your way! On the 20th, the Sun shifts into Gemini which has your energy levels lower than usual. Get plenty of rest and sleep during the next month. When Saturn goes Retrograde on the 23rd, it will encourage you to create a strategy to tackle any debts that you have. The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse on the 26th will help you resolve a long-standing negative habit. The month wraps up with Mercury going Retrograde, encouraging you to tie up any loose ends before your birthday season.
Leo
Mercury shifts gears at the top of the month, drawing your attention to your friends and social network. Per usual, you're the life of the party and everyone wants to be in your circle. When Venus joins this part of your chart, you may be surprised that an acquaintance is interested in you romantically. The New Moon on the 11th challenges you to make some adjustments in your career which could result in you pivoting in a different direction. On the 13th, Jupiter transitions into sensitive Pisces. During this transit, you're encouraged to face some of those suppressed emotions and experiences from a different perspective (if you're into Tarot, think of "The Hanged Man").
Towards the end of the month, the Sun shifts into Gemini which has your mind abuzz with all of the grand ideas that you want to bring into reality. On the 23rd, Saturn goes Retrograde, inviting you to reassess your boundaries and contractual agreements. The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse liberates you from watering yourself down in any way. You deserve to show up in the world in all of your brilliance. May wraps up with our second Mercury Retrograde of the year, encouraging you to breathe new life into an old dream.
Virgo
Virgo
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The first half of the month may be a little irritating with so much action taking place in Gemini. Between Mercury and Venus in this part of your chart, you could run into some power struggles particularly with someone in a position of authority. It's best to choose your battles wisely. The New Moon on the 11th invites you to expand your mindset by going back to school or attending a workshop that can help you refine your skills and ultimately align you with more financial abundance. On the 13th, Jupiter enters Pisces, giving you the opportunity to grow through your closest connections.
Choose wisely when partnering up in love and business matters.
When the Sun shifts into Gemini, your work performance is under review. Some important eyes may be on you so make sure you're on top of your shit. You'll be surprised by what opportunities come from your ability to hold down the fort. On the 23rd, Saturn goes Retrograde, encouraging you to make some adjustments with your routine. You may feel like you don't have enough time but there's really just a need for you to prioritize what's most important. The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse helps you resolve a longstanding issue with family, bringing you the peace and clarity that you need. The month ends with Mercury going Retrograde inviting you to a seat at a table with some pretty influential power players.
Libra
Libra
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The month kicks off with Mercury entering Gemini on 3rd expanding your platform & influence. When Venus joins this part of your chart on the 8th, you're attracted to individuals capable of stimulating your mind. Exploring different cultures or traveling internationally can be just the experience you need to inspire you. The New Moon on the 11th could invite you into a financial partnership making this a good time to apply for a loan for your business start up or your new home. On the 13th, Jupiter enters Pisces giving you the opportunity to get a handle on any harmful habits—particularly those that result in overindulgent or escapist behaviors.
Towards the end of the month, the Sun enters Gemini on the 20th encouraging you to reconnect with your deeper sense of truth. Your beliefs are up for review. Grant yourself the freedom to change your mind. On the 23rd, Saturn goes Retrograde which has you thinking more seriously in matters of romance. The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse on the 26th provides you with the cathartic release that you need to show up in the world more authentically. It's time to get that throat chakra poppin! The month wraps up with Mercury going Retrograde giving you a chance to tie up loose ends with a project or school.
Scorpio
Scorpio
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The first part of the month brings your attention to deepening your closest connections. With Mercury and Venus shifting into Gemini, you're more curious about others and someone around you could share the same sentiment, making this a good time to gain a better understanding of each other which will ultimately strengthen the relationship. The New Moon on the 11th invites you into a new partnership—whether romantic or professional. If you're signing any contracts around this time, try to do so before Mercury goes Retrograde later in the month.
On the 13th, Jupiter enters ethereal Pisces where good fortune finds you through your creative self-expression, hobbies, and romantic connections. When Saturn goes Retrograde on the 23rd, you'll have a chance to revisit your earlier foundations in life, giving you a chance to redefine how you manage your emotions. The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse on the 26th illuminates your financial weak spots which are more than likely attributed to a limiting mindset. Check your money beliefs to make sure they support your goals and aspirations. May comes to a close with Mercury going Retrograde, inviting you to revisit that plan to pay off your credit card debt or student loans.
Sagittarius
Sagittarius
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The first part of the month is building up to the beginning of eclipse season which kicks off later in the month. With both Mercury and Venus entering Gemini, your relationships are your primary focus. This is a time to reevaluate the dynamics within your close connections—both personal and professional. The New Moon on the 11th invites you to commit to some better habits that can transform your lifestyle in a positive way. On the 13th, Jupiter shifts into Pisces during a transit that will stretch you to grow beyond your family's expectations.
Towards the end of the month, the Sun shifts into Gemini, revitalizing any waning connections. On the 23rd, Saturn goes Retrograde, encouraging you to revisit your earlier foundations that shaped your internal dialogue. Once you get more clear on these limiting beliefs, you'll have the power to change them. The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in your sign initiates you into the next phase of your ascension. Allow the old narratives and identity to fall away as more of your true self is revealed. On the 29th, Mercury goes Retrograde, making this a good time to revise existing contracts and agreements.
Capricorn
Capricorn
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Life gets a little more busy for you when Mercury and Venus team up in Gemini. You may be a little scatter-brained during this transit. Try making to-do lists and marking special events on your calendar to help keep you on track. The New Moon on the 11th has you assessing whether any of your romantic contenders have the potential to be a long-term partner. If love is the last thing on your mind, a new creative project can be just what you need to immerse yourself into as you pave your legacy (and make your inner child proud along the way). On the 13th, Jupiter enters Pisces, inviting you to nurture your connection to the Divine.
Magical opportunities await but you have to be in the right frame of mind to recognize them.
The Sun enters Gemini on the 20th which could be stimulating your anxiety. Avoid caffeine and get into a fitness regimen to keep you grounded. On the 23rd, Saturn goes Retrograde, giving you a chance to restructure your money beliefs, which in turn, can expand your earning potential exponentially. The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse serves to liberate you from the shackles of inauthenticity. Past-life regression and hypnotherapy can help you resolve deeply ingrained fears that keep you from expressing your true self. The month ends with Mercury Retrograde challenging your will power. You've made some healthy changes. Don't fall back into old habits!
Aquarius
Aquarius
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The month kicks off with Mercury entering your sister sign, Gemini, on the 3rd. When Venus joins this part of your chart on the 8th, the world takes on a rose-colored tint because love is in the air. You could be attracting the witty type of character that will entertain you with some interesting, and random, ideas that may challenge you to expand your own way of thinking. The New Moon on the 11th could bring up some challenging energies within your family dynamic or home which may lead to you considering a relocation. If you're looking to make an investment, flipping a house could be a good place to start.
On the 13th, Jupiter leaves your sign (for the time being) and transitions into Pisces. Tap into your spiritual power to leverage more abundance in all areas of your life including your finances. On the 20th, the Sun enters Gemini, revitalizing your inner child, making this a good time to get into a hobby or express yourself creatively. When Saturn goes Retrograde, you'll be retracing the lessons you've been (un)learning as it pertains to your identity. Your needs in friendship are changing around this Full Moon Lunar Eclipse, resulting in you outgrowing a connection. The month wraps up with Mercury Retrograde, giving you a chance to put the final touches on a project you've been pouring yourself into.
Pisces
Pisces
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Tension may be brewing with Mercury and Venus, entering Gemini during the first part of the month. Be mindful of getting pulled into gossip or playing both sides if you find yourself in the middle of a family conflict. The New Moon on the 11th supports your financial endeavors, particularly if you work in communications or are in the public eye in some way. Using social media to your advantage can actually create new streams of income for you if you actually start putting your brilliant ideas into motion. On the 13th, Jupiter enters your sign, granting you the Midas Touch.
Fortune favors the bold so don't shy away from some big opportunities coming your way over the next year.
Towards the end of the month, the Sun shifts into Gemini, making this a good time to host a small gathering at your home. Not all of your visitors will be welcomed with open arms but do your best to remain courteous, especially if you share a home with a roommate or significant other. On the 23rd, Saturn goes Retrograde, giving you a chance to reassess your boundaries and make any necessary changes. The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse on the 26th motivates you to align with a career path that reflects the expanded version of yourself. May comes to a close with Mercury going Retrograde, encouraging you to revisit a conversation with a family member to clear up any misunderstandings. Home renovations and family planning may also be up for discussion as well.
Read all about astrology and horoscopes on xoNecole here.
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This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
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The Common Denominator Is You. So, Why Do You Keep Choosing The Wrong Men?
Everywhere you go, there you are. It’s one of those popular sayings (kind of like “It is what it is”) that I find myself using a lot, especially when I’m in sessions with my clients. Why? Well, it’s kind of likean article that I once read that pretty much said our culture likes to play the toxic game of blaming other people because it’s an easy way to deflect from personal accountability (check out “What It Actually Means To 'Hold Yourself Accountable'”). So true, so true,
Well, another way of saying “everywhere you go, there you are” is using the math term “common denominator” — and today, what we’re going to attempt to tackle is, why is it that some of us, if we stepped back a moment to take a very real and honest assessment of our dating life, do we always end up with the same kind of guy? One who really isn’t the best for us; sometimes, not even close.
Before getting into some questions that I think can help you get to the answer, let me just say that this is definitely one of the kinds of pieces that may step on at least your pinky toe before it’s all said and done. At the same time, although this might not be the most comfortable of reads, keep in mind what the late poet, singer, and publisher Tuli Kupferberg once said, “When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.”
And so, if when it comes to the caliber of men you’ve dated, what you’ve been doing is revealing that your pattern is not really working for your ultimate good, spend a bit of time trying to unpack just why that could be the case — why, at the end of the day, you truly are the common denominator in it all.
How Self-Aware Are You?
About five years ago, I penned an article for the site entitled “These Are The Things Self-Aware People Do Daily.” You know, of all of the things to be in this life, prioritizing self-awareness is king because self-aware people do things like hold themselves accountable, know their strengths and weaknesses, identify their triggers, have good boundaries, self-reflect, pay attention to their own “blind spots” — and they can — eh hem — take feedback and constructive criticism pretty well.
That last one? If you’re constantly in a hamster wheel or even a cul-de-sac when it comes to men, be honest with yourself: did your family, friends, hell, even your co-workers warn you about some of the guys you dated, and you found yourself either defending, deflecting or getting offended? Yeah, self-aware people don’t get down like that because they would rather have peace and be wrong than act like they are always right and remain in chaos.
So yeah, if you’re always in some foolishness or even in relationships that are simply a counterproductive waste of time, pondering how self-aware you actually are is a really good place to start. Self-reflect. Know your weaknesses. Listen to what others have to say about your tendencies. All of this can do you a whole lot of good.
How Humble Are You?
Society is a wild place, boy. The reason why I say that is because, while it’s out here acting like humility is a bad thing, Scripture says, “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.” (Proverbs 22:4) And why is humility such a vital spiritual attribute? Because, when you’re humble — you’re grateful; you’re teachable; you’re open to seeing things outside of your own perspective; you’re compassionate and empathetic; you’re flexible; you’re forgiving, and you’re able to release your ego so that you can accept what you need over what you want.
What you need over what you want. Chile, if that doesn’t keep some people in cyclic stuff, I honestly don’t know what does. There’s a client that I have right now who only contacts me when she’s basically blown up her life because she constantly gets caught up in a man’s looks and bedroom performance. When I tell her that she needs to stop making that #1 and #2 of things to look for in a relationship, she “uh-huh's” me and then does what she wants to do anyway — only for it to end up wreaking all sorts of havoc…again.
It’s another message for another time about how some of us could stand to look within to see if wanting a fine man above all else is more about validating some deep-rooted insecurities that we have about our own looks (ouch). For now, I’ll just say that if your ego is out here telling you that looks and sexual performance should trump things like character and consistency, it is LYING to you. If you chose to heed the humble side of yourself, you would know that.
And this actually brings me to my next question.
How Stuck Are You in Your “Type”?
The reason why I wrote “According To Experts, We All Have A ‘Type’” back in the day is because it’s true — pretty much all of us have a type which is pretty much a preference; there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that either. At the same time, I’m advising, from very up close and personal experience, that it’s a good idea to spend some time pondering “the origin story” of where your type came from.
Me? I’m always gonna be down for a very tall, hella chocolate, basketball (or soccer) build Black man. However, I’m a sexual abuse survivor and my molester looked a lot like that, so during the healing process of what he did to me, I had to factor in his influence. Plus, my first love also fits the physical mold and he definitely had quite an impact on my life. So…see what I mean? My type didn’t just come out of nowhere. Yes, sometimes your type may have some trauma or drama attached to it. And yes, that might be really uncomfortable to think about; still, that doesn’t mean it’s not true.
Now my late fiancé? He was right at about 6’ and, complexion-wise, he was lighter than I am. He treated me better than most of the men of my past, though — and even though he definitely pursued me for a while to get me to consider us beyond being friends, because I took a risk outside of my type, I learned what it was like to be loved in a healthy way. And what that did for me was it taught me to remain open outside of my standard type. I still like a tall-ass Godiva man, chile (and don’t let him have a beard and be in a tailored suit!). I don’t limit myself to that package, though. To do so would be severely limiting — potentially tragic even.
How Healed Are You?
“Healed” is a word that comes up A LOT in the social media space. When it comes to relationships, specifically, it’s important to ask yourself if you are healed from your past because, if you aren’t, you very well could be reliving it over and over…and over again, whether you realize it (or choose to accept it) or not.
Just so that we’re all on the same page, the word “heal” means things like healthy, sound, and whole. Synonyms for the word include improve, restore, mend, soothe, and rehabilitate. Signs that you have healed from past hurts of a relationship (or a series of relationships) include you don’t think of them with anger or bitterness; you can see the silver linings from the experience; you’ve forgiven them for things that they did wrong (or that simply hurt you — and no, that’s not always one and the same), and you don’t pick (or avoid) other people to be in your life solely based on what someone else did to you.
What I mean by that last one is an unhealed woman may say something like, “I don’t want to do [such and such] for a first date. That’s what my ex liked to do.” The new guy isn’t him, so why does he have to be beholden to your past? Or, “I don’t trust men who won’t let me go through their phone. That’s how I found out my ex was cheating.” You know, for all of the women who like to play a non-animated form ofInspector Gadget (the real ones know), they sure don’t want their phones inspected as much as they like to do all of the inspecting. SMDH. Anyway, I don’t go through phones. For what? I don’t pay the bill and I’m not anyone’s parent. And so, your next guy not preferring it either? That doesn’t automatically mean that he’s up to no good — he may just want his boundaries respected. An unhealed person may not accept that. A healed one tends to, though.
And how can being unhealed play a direct role in you choosing the same guys over and over again? It’s weird because, sometimes you will go back to what’s familiar to you — because the new guy is such a risk, you’d prefer to “stick to the devil you know” than take a chance on someone who rolls very differently. It’s a cryptic way of remaining the common denominator in your dating dynamics. Oh, but it happens all of the time, chile.
What Makes a Man WRONG for You? Specifically?
Okay, with a lot of the inner work out of the way, how do you even come to the conclusion that someone (or several people) is wrong for you? Because you know what? Once you’ve done some real healing (and serious maturing), you can oftentimes find yourself accepting the fact that just because someone may not be right for you, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. No, not at all.
Although the word “wrong” can mean that something or someone isn’t morally right, wrong also means things like erroneous, not suitable or appropriate, not in accordance with certain requirements, or — and please catch it — out of order (which sometimes consists of the right thing happening at the wrong time). So, if it does seem like you keep choosing (because it is always a choice; that is also where accountability comes in) men who aren’t appropriate, aren’t in accordance with your needs or standards, or who aren’t what you need at the time — why is that? Is it rooted in fear? Impatience? Settling? What?
I have had enough clients go through this to know that it’s not good enough to be abstract about someone being “wrong” for you. You need to set aside one weekend, get some wine and a fresh journal, and really get into what wrong looks like. For instance, if you keep lowering your standards (which is the wrong thing to do, by definition), why is that? Because no matter how wrong the guy may ultimately turn out to be, what you have to be willing to accept is — again — you chose him. Why do you choose what’s wrong? Because, more times than not, some red (or at least orange) flags were waving long before the relationship came crashing down; oftentimes, they reveal themselves within the first couple of dates. You just chose to ignore them.
One more.
Do You Know a Good Man When You See One? You Sure?
As we close all of this out, when you get a chance, please check out “Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?” Learning the difference between “to” and “for” took my own relational processing to an entirely new and freeing level. And you know what? Back to the healing point, another way to know that you’ve healed is you don’t generalize men. Meaning, that if you’re out here declaring that there aren’t any good ones, that’s not true; you’re just jaded (I mean, it’s the truth), and that head and energy space is affecting your judgment and perspective.
That said, if you’re constantly selecting the wrong men, ask yourself if you even know what a good man looks like (cue India.Arie’s “Good Man”). Again, by definition, good means things like morally excellent, right, kind, friendly, benevolent, educated, financially sound (not rich, stable and responsible…goodness), genuine, reliable, dependable, responsible, attractive, warm, intimate — satisfactory to the purpose (yes, that’s a literal definition).
For a man to be good for you, you need to know what purpose he is to serve at this particular point in your life because if, for example, all men seem to do, in your eyes, is use you for sex, why are you prioritizing sex over an emotional connection if the latter is the purpose that you seek right now? A lot of women can stop being the common denominator when it comes to choosing the wrong man if they 1) become the good that they seek and 2) do not betray the purpose behind why they even desire a relationship in the first place.
____
I know. When things aren’t going your way when it comes to matters of the heart, it can be easy to always say it’s the man’s fault. If there’s a pattern, though, please be a bit more self-reflective than that.
Once you do, you’d be amazed by how much about you shifts — to where the wrong guys can’t even get close to you, in the way that they used to, anymore.
Because you cease to be the “common denominator” you once were.
And how wonderful is that?
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