The month of May brings a much welcome shift from the hustle and bustle of Aries season to a more laid back, sensual approach to life.
On May 4th, the New Moon in Taurus is the perfect opportunity to plant the seeds for what you would like to grow in your life—particularly as it's related to your finances and material wealth. This energy can also show up in the form of a new talent, skill, or idea that could make you a lot of money, given your willingness to invest the time. Mercury, planet of communication, shortly follows suit entering Taurus on the 5th making Venusian themes such as art, fashion, and music the topic of discussion.
Creative expression is favored at this time and holds the potential to be a new source of revenue for you.
On May 9th, Jupiter and Pluto's harmonious aspect can bring a lucky breakthrough or a defining moment that brings positive change into a difficult situation. Venus, planet of love and money, returns home on May 15th bringing the gift of enhanced personal magnetism and sex appeal. As one of the benevolent planets, Venus loves to bring good fortune our way through new opportunities, connections, and a boost of self-esteem. Mars settles into Cancer, slowing down the momentum and giving you time to nurture yourself before we enter into one of the busiest seasons of the year. On the 18th, the Full Moon in Scorpio invites you into a transformative experience through self-exploration, your intimate connection, or a peak spiritual experience. The month wraps up with the Sun and Mercury moving into Gemini on the 21st, kicking off the most sociable, adventurous time of the year.
Check out what May has in store for your zodiac sign:
Aries
Laci Jordan for xoNecole
The month starts off with a New Moon opening up doors for you in finance and material possessions. This is a time to think big when it comes to what you want to accomplish in the next year. Start planning for those major purchases in advance by getting your money in order. Work on a plan to pay off debt, save money, and invest to gain long-term wealth. This may also be a time to consider buying property or getting into stocks and trades. Mercury moves into Taurus on the 6th, bringing your conversation and attention to improving your financial literacy. Checking out a podcast or attending a conference can provide you with just the insight you need to solve any long-standing money issues.
A stroke of good luck may be headed your way on the 9th, granting you a much-needed breakthrough in career and social status. You may find yourself wielding more power than usual due to a sudden promotion or opportunity that could require you to guide, teach, and mentor others. On the 15th, Venus moves into her home sign Taurus, bringing lessons of self-worth into focus. This is usually a time of year in which you examine whether your love needs are being met and how you need to adjust to fill your cup. Keep in mind that self-love is the best love. Explore new ways that you can support yourself more fully. Mars moves into Cancer on the same day, forcing you to lay low and enjoy the comforts of home and family. The Full Moon on the 18th marks a powerful time of liberation from any shame and fear that keeps you from living up to your potential. By the time we enter Gemini season at the end of the month, you may be in a position to share your transformative experience through written or spoken word. Giving a voice to your shadow is where the healing begins.
Taurus
Laci Jordan for xoNecole
Happy birthday to youuuu! It's your season, baby! The New Moon on the 4th is a powerful new beginning for you so make the most of this. You only get one new moon every year, making this a good time to map out what you'd like to accomplish in your next year around the Sun. Mercury moves into your sign on the 6th, blessing you with the gift of gab. Keep in mind that you'll catch more flies with honey. On the 9th, a peak intimate experience can unlock your coochie chakras giving you a completely new outlook on life. On the 15th, your ruling planet returns to her home sign. Use this extra attention you're receiving to attract all of the right elements that you need to experience the most spectacular year yet.
Mars moves into Cancer on the same day, making you even more lazy -- I mean "laid back" -- than usual. This energy can be a little passive-aggressive and sibling rivalries are likely to come to the surface at this time. You can be direct without being an asshole. Embrace healthy conflict-resolution. The Full Moon on the 18th highlights your relationships, particularly marriage or business partnerships. You may decide to leave a situation that isn't working for you or you may finally experience the breakthrough you need to bring a relationship back into harmony. The month wraps up with the Sun and Mercury moving into Gemini, encouraging you to get out there and connect. You may just be one social networking mixer away from meeting your new investor or business partner.
Gemini
Laci Jordan for xoNecole
May is typically a more lowkey month for you, Gemmie. There's a ton of action going on in Taurus, which brings your focus to your inner-world for the first couple weeks. The New Moon on the 4th enhances your dream world. Pay attention to any messages that you're receiving around this time as they contain key information helping you tap into past-life gifts and talents. Mercury, your ruling planet, moves into Taurus on the 6th, making you more curious about Venusian themes like art, music, and fashion. This is a good time to watch a documentary about your fav musician or pick up a new hobby that you can enjoy in your solitude. On the 9th, good luck comes your way through a key relationship that provides you with a lighter approach to releasing a heavy emotional burden.
On the 15th, Venus moves into Taurus and love matters take on a more private approach with you preferring to spend time at home and in the bedroom. Mars moves into Cancer on the same day, encouraging you to see the value in your talents by actually doing something with them. The Full Moon in Scorpio on the 18th illuminates your daily routines, health, and work. You may receive some news around this time that motivates you to make some changes in one of these areas of your life. Work-life imbalances will likely come to a head, encouraging you to make some changes in the way you manage your time. The month closes out with the Sun and Mercury moving into your sign, giving you a much-needed boost of energy that you'll need for your birthday season.
Cancer
Laci Jordan for xoNecole
The month begins with a New Moon in Taurus on the 4th, bringing your focus to your social network and big hopes and dreams. This is a favorable time to collaborate with the right people that can help turn your vision into reality. On the 6th, Mercury moves into materially-driven Taurus, making this the perfect energy for strategizing about how you and your tribe will make your mark on the world. When it comes to these money moves, Jupiter and Pluto favor you around the 9th in regards to a business partnership or work connection that may offer the breakthrough you've been banking on.
Venus moves into Taurus on the 15th, which could surprisingly have you crushing on someone in your circle of friends. If you're open to love, going to a networking event or joining a charitable organization can be a great way to meet someone who shares common interests. Mars moves into your sign on the same day, giving you a much-needed boost of energy and confidence. Your temper may be running short during this transit so find healthy ways to release your anger. The Full Moon in your sister sign, Scorpio, heightens romance and fertility, making the 18th the perfect sultry date night. Healing through creative expression is also favored during this time. The month wraps up with the Sun and Mercury moving into Gemini on the 21st, inviting you to rest, reflect and close out cycles before your solar return.
Leo
Laci Jordan for xoNecole
Career and social status are highlighted for the first few weeks of May with the New Moon in Taurus on the 4th bringing in an opportunity that could benefit you in the long run. Mercury moves into Taurus on the 6th and there could be an important conversation with higher-ups around this time. If you've been proving yourself as an asset on the job, you may finally be receiving the recognition that you've been waiting for. A stroke of good luck can spice up your love life around the 9th and you may find yourself under the spell of a workplace romance. Venus, planet of love and money, moves into a favorable position for you on the 15th that will help you attract all types of good fortune and opportunities when it comes to your career advancement. You could even be attracting someone in a position of authority.
Mars moves into Cancer on the same day, heating things up behind the scenes. Your bedroom will be getting a lot of attention over the next month, whether you're enjoying the company of your lover or just catching up on some sleep. The Full Moon in Scorpio on the 18th illuminates themes of home and family. This can be a powerful time of releasing ancestral karma particularly related to the mother and maternal figures. This time can also indicate you relocating from one place to another. The month closes out with the Sun and Mercury, moving into sociable Gemini making you the center of attention amongst all of your friends.
Virgo
Laci Jordan for xoNecole
The month starts off with an exciting New Moon in your sister sign, Taurus, taking place on the 4th in a part of your chart that has to do with higher learning and travel. You may consider going to school or simply indulging in your own personal research about a topic of interest. Mercury moves into this same part of your sky around the 6th and you are itching to soak up as much knowledge as you can. An interest in foreign cultures and different spiritual practices is common around this time. If you're traveling, you could meet an interesting companion that opens your mind to a different way of life. On the 9th, Jupiter and Pluto support positive breakthrough in areas related to family and your childhood. Around this time, you'll find it easier to embrace personal self-expression and you may feel like you have a voice after years of being silenced throughout your youth.
On the 15th, Venus moves into Taurus and you're more inclined to connect with people that stimulate you intellectually and even spiritually. If you're looking for a new money opportunity, consider what knowledge you have that others don't. Others may be seeking you out for guidance more than usual during this transit. Mars moves into Cancer the same day, bringing your focus to nurturing your social life and your big aspirations that could use a little more team effort. On the 18th, the Full Moon in Scorpio encourages you to be mindful of your projections and journal it out instead! The month closes out with the Sun and Mercury moving into Gemini bringing your focus to the career moves you plan on making over the next few weeks.
Libra
Laci Jordan for xoNecole
A lot of the action this month takes place in a part of your sky that has to do with intimacy, healing, and deep transformation. The New Moon in Taurus on the 4th represents the beginning of this metamorphosis that you're undergoing. On the 6th, Mercury moves into Taurus, making you even more open to this period of soul-searching that you're in. An interest in psychology, the occult, and shadow work is likely around this time. You may even consider committing to therapy if you need some support working through a complex issue. On the 9th, an opportunity to express your truth can help you release any long-standing mommy issues. Love and romance gets deep this month with Venus attracting people and experiences to you that either trigger the hell out of you or help you heal some of your lingering emotional wounds.
Mars moves into Cancer on the 15th, making you a force to be reckoned with when it comes to your career aspirations. It's important to show people that you're in control but avoid being overly aggressive. A more gentle approach can be just as impactful for your reputation and advancement. The Full Moon in Scorpio on the 18th can illuminate a money drain, making this a good time to review your bank statement. This energy is also powerful for helping you release stagnant emotions related to an experience that damaged your self-esteem. The month closes off on a lighter note with your sister sign, Gemini, moving into a part of your chart that will bring about travel and learning opportunities.
Scorpio
Laci Jordan for xoNecole
The month begins with a New Moon in your opposite sign on the 4th, bringing your focus to relationships. This energy supports any long-term commitment or business partnership that you're beginning. Mercury moves into Taurus on the 6th and the conversations over the next month will revolve around your key partnerships. You may be taking things to the next level with your significant other or even signing a contract with a new employer. A lucky financial break may come your way around the 9th so make sure you're staying on top of your emails and communication around this time.
On the 15th, Venus returns home and love takes center stage for you. When the planet of love is in this part of your sky, you'll appear even more attractive than usual. Expect to receive tons of attention from people interested in you romantically and even professionally. The cosmos is extremely supportive of bringing you together with someone special during this transit. Mars moves into Cancer on the same day and the wanderlust kicks in. Traveling home or to a place that brings you comfort can be just what your heart needs right now. On the 18th, the Full Moon in your sign is a powerful catalyst for releasing residual pain and trauma that inhibits you from being more real with yourself and with others. It's time to take off the mask and reveal who you are underneath your perpetual state of being unbothered. The month winds down with the Sun and Mercury moving into Gemini as you continue unraveling the complexities of how your experiences have shaped you into the person you are today.
Sagittarius
Laci Jordan for xoNecole
This month brings most of your focus to improving your health with the New Moon on the 4th encouraging you to start a new habit or routine that can benefit your physical well-being. Mercury moves into Taurus on the 6th, motivating you to learn about new approaches to improving your health. Explore different forms of exercise and approaches to your nutrition that can help you live a better lifestyle. On the 9th, a financial stroke of good luck may come your way. If you've dealt with long-standing issues about your self-esteem or money mindset, this energy can provide a positive breakthrough that sets you on a path of deeper self-love and a greater abundance.
On the 15th, Venus moves into her home sign, Taurus, which is helping you attract opportunities and connections that actually benefit the lifestyle changes you're making throughout the month. Making sound choices about the energy you want to engage with can benefit your overall health and well-being. Mars moves into Cancer on the same day, motivating you to work through your mommy issues and intimacy blockages. On the 18th, the Full Moon in Scorpio enhances your psychic abilities and dream world. Pay attention to the messages you receive around this time, which may actually be prophetic. The month closes out with the Sun and Mercury moving into your opposite sign, making the next few weeks all about your key relationships and the important connections you'll be making during the most sociable season of the year.
Capricorn
Laci Jordan for xoNecole
This month brings most of your focus to romance, creativity, and self-expression. It's time to let your hair down and have some fun. As one of the hardest working signs of the zodiac, you have a tendency to neglect your inner child the most. The New Moon in Taurus on the 4th invites you to play with this forgotten aspect of yourself. What new (or old) hobby can you partake in that brings you joy? On the 6th, Mercury moves into the same part of your sky and your mind is overflowing with creative inspiration. During this transit you may create one of your greatest masterpieces to date. Positive breakthrough takes place around the 9th, providing a sense of relief when it comes to a tough habit or lesson you've been trying to come to terms with.
On the 15th, Venus returns home to Taurus making you super sexy and alluring. If you've been experiencing a love drought, get out there! This is one of the most favorable times of year for you to enjoy the adventure of romance. Mars moves into your opposite sign on the same day, which can make you a little aggressive when it comes to love. Try not to be too pushy with your crush or significant other. You'll catch more flies with honey, Cappie. On the 18th, the Full Moon in Scorpio illuminates some weird stuff that's been going down in your friendships. This energy can help you address the issue head on to find a compromise or you may decide the connection isn't worth the energy. The month wraps up with the Sun and Mercury moving into Gemini on the 21st making the next few weeks at work one of the busiest seasons of the year.
Aquarius
Laci Jordan for xoNecole
Home and family takes front and center stage during this time of the year. You may be planning a move or a trip to your hometown around the New Moon in Taurus on the 4th. This part of your chart is also associated with motherhood so don't be surprised if your baby fever is through the roof this month. If you're in the space for it, there can be talks about starting or expanding your family as Mercury, planet of communication, moves into Taurus on the 6th. Babies may be the last thing on your mind, and in that case, you may be more interested in expanding your knowledge about real estate or even your family ancestry. Around the 9th, you can experience a mental breakthrough that helps you reunite with your divinity and connection to God.
Venus returns home on the 15th and love matters are nurtured behind the scenes in your home. You and a significant other may decide to move in together to establish the beginning stages of your family. Mars moves into Cancer on the same day. Over the coming weeks, you'll be motivated to nurture you health and well-being by creating more balance in your daily routines. The Full Moon in Scorpio on the 18th brings recognition in career and social status. Avoid gossip and romance on the job as things have the potential to be exposed at this time. The month ends on a high note with the Sun and Mercury moving into Gemini, boosting your romance and creativity over the weeks to come.
Pisces
Laci Jordan for xoNecole
The month begins with a New Moon in Taurus on the 4th, encouraging you to activate your throat chakra. In what new way can you share your thoughts with the world? On the 6th, Mercury moves into Taurus, which is great energy for learning about a new topic of interest or communicating your ideas. Starting up a vlog or podcast is favorable right now. You've got something to say and the world needs to hear it. Positive breakthrough can take place around the 9th when it comes to any power struggles you've experienced in your friendships. Any subconscious programming that has your social life running amuck can be dissolved around this time.
On the 15th, Venus returns home to Taurus and your conversations get a little sweeter during this transit. You are very persuasive given this energy so use it to your advantage. If you're open to meeting someone new, you may actually get lucky with online dating. Even if you're taken or not interested in love, your IG will be getting plenty of attention from potential suitors. Mars moves into your sister sign, Cancer, on the same day heating things up when it comes to dating, fertility, and creativity. This is the perfect time to seal the deal if you and your partner want to start a family. Depending on your priorities, a creative project may be getting all of your focus during this transit. On the 18th, the Full Moon in Scorpio enhances your connection between you and your Higher Self, offering you a life-changing encounter that reminds you of just how powerful you truly are. May wraps up with the Sun and Mercury moving into Gemini on the 21st, making the next month all about home and family matters.
Taurus
Laci Jordan for xoNecole
Happy birthday to youuuu! It's your season, baby! The New Moon on the 4th is a powerful new beginning for you so make the most of this. You only get one new moon every year, making this a good time to map out what you'd like to accomplish in your next year around the Sun. Mercury moves into your sign on the 6th, blessing you with the gift of gab. Keep in mind that you'll catch more flies with honey. On the 9th, a peak intimate experience can unlock your coochie chakras giving you a completely new outlook on life. On the 15th, your ruling planet returns to her home sign. Use this extra attention you're receiving to attract all of the right elements that you need to experience the most spectacular year yet.
Mars moves into Cancer on the same day, making you even more lazy -- I mean "laid back" -- than usual. This energy can be a little passive-aggressive and sibling rivalries are likely to come to the surface at this time. You can be direct without being an asshole. Embrace healthy conflict-resolution. The Full Moon on the 18th highlights your relationships, particularly marriage or business partnerships. You may decide to leave a situation that isn't working for you or you may finally experience the breakthrough you need to bring a relationship back into harmony. The month wraps up with the Sun and Mercury moving into Gemini, encouraging you to get out there and connect. You may just be one social networking mixer away from meeting your new investor or business partner.
Gemini
Laci Jordan for xoNecole
May is typically a more lowkey month for you, Gemmie. There's a ton of action going on in Taurus, which brings your focus to your inner-world for the first couple weeks. The New Moon on the 4th enhances your dream world. Pay attention to any messages that you're receiving around this time as they contain key information helping you tap into past-life gifts and talents. Mercury, your ruling planet, moves into Taurus on the 6th, making you more curious about Venusian themes like art, music, and fashion. This is a good time to watch a documentary about your fav musician or pick up a new hobby that you can enjoy in your solitude. On the 9th, good luck comes your way through a key relationship that provides you with a lighter approach to releasing a heavy emotional burden.
On the 15th, Venus moves into Taurus and love matters take on a more private approach with you preferring to spend time at home and in the bedroom. Mars moves into Cancer on the same day, encouraging you to see the value in your talents by actually doing something with them. The Full Moon in Scorpio on the 18th illuminates your daily routines, health, and work. You may receive some news around this time that motivates you to make some changes in one of these areas of your life. Work-life imbalances will likely come to a head, encouraging you to make some changes in the way you manage your time. The month closes out with the Sun and Mercury moving into your sign, giving you a much-needed boost of energy that you'll need for your birthday season.
Cancer
Laci Jordan for xoNecole
The month begins with a New Moon in Taurus on the 4th, bringing your focus to your social network and big hopes and dreams. This is a favorable time to collaborate with the right people that can help turn your vision into reality. On the 6th, Mercury moves into materially-driven Taurus, making this the perfect energy for strategizing about how you and your tribe will make your mark on the world. When it comes to these money moves, Jupiter and Pluto favor you around the 9th in regards to a business partnership or work connection that may offer the breakthrough you've been banking on.
Venus moves into Taurus on the 15th, which could surprisingly have you crushing on someone in your circle of friends. If you're open to love, going to a networking event or joining a charitable organization can be a great way to meet someone who shares common interests. Mars moves into your sign on the same day, giving you a much-needed boost of energy and confidence. Your temper may be running short during this transit so find healthy ways to release your anger. The Full Moon in your sister sign, Scorpio, heightens romance and fertility, making the 18th the perfect sultry date night. Healing through creative expression is also favored during this time. The month wraps up with the Sun and Mercury moving into Gemini on the 21st, inviting you to rest, reflect and close out cycles before your solar return.
Leo
Laci Jordan for xoNecole
Career and social status are highlighted for the first few weeks of May with the New Moon in Taurus on the 4th bringing in an opportunity that could benefit you in the long run. Mercury moves into Taurus on the 6th and there could be an important conversation with higher-ups around this time. If you've been proving yourself as an asset on the job, you may finally be receiving the recognition that you've been waiting for. A stroke of good luck can spice up your love life around the 9th and you may find yourself under the spell of a workplace romance. Venus, planet of love and money, moves into a favorable position for you on the 15th that will help you attract all types of good fortune and opportunities when it comes to your career advancement. You could even be attracting someone in a position of authority.
Mars moves into Cancer on the same day, heating things up behind the scenes. Your bedroom will be getting a lot of attention over the next month, whether you're enjoying the company of your lover or just catching up on some sleep. The Full Moon in Scorpio on the 18th illuminates themes of home and family. This can be a powerful time of releasing ancestral karma particularly related to the mother and maternal figures. This time can also indicate you relocating from one place to another. The month closes out with the Sun and Mercury, moving into sociable Gemini making you the center of attention amongst all of your friends.
Virgo
Laci Jordan for xoNecole
The month starts off with an exciting New Moon in your sister sign, Taurus, taking place on the 4th in a part of your chart that has to do with higher learning and travel. You may consider going to school or simply indulging in your own personal research about a topic of interest. Mercury moves into this same part of your sky around the 6th and you are itching to soak up as much knowledge as you can. An interest in foreign cultures and different spiritual practices is common around this time. If you're traveling, you could meet an interesting companion that opens your mind to a different way of life. On the 9th, Jupiter and Pluto support positive breakthrough in areas related to family and your childhood. Around this time, you'll find it easier to embrace personal self-expression and you may feel like you have a voice after years of being silenced throughout your youth.
On the 15th, Venus moves into Taurus and you're more inclined to connect with people that stimulate you intellectually and even spiritually. If you're looking for a new money opportunity, consider what knowledge you have that others don't. Others may be seeking you out for guidance more than usual during this transit. Mars moves into Cancer the same day, bringing your focus to nurturing your social life and your big aspirations that could use a little more team effort. On the 18th, the Full Moon in Scorpio encourages you to be mindful of your projections and journal it out instead! The month closes out with the Sun and Mercury moving into Gemini bringing your focus to the career moves you plan on making over the next few weeks.
Libra
Laci Jordan for xoNecole
A lot of the action this month takes place in a part of your sky that has to do with intimacy, healing, and deep transformation. The New Moon in Taurus on the 4th represents the beginning of this metamorphosis that you're undergoing. On the 6th, Mercury moves into Taurus, making you even more open to this period of soul-searching that you're in. An interest in psychology, the occult, and shadow work is likely around this time. You may even consider committing to therapy if you need some support working through a complex issue. On the 9th, an opportunity to express your truth can help you release any long-standing mommy issues. Love and romance gets deep this month with Venus attracting people and experiences to you that either trigger the hell out of you or help you heal some of your lingering emotional wounds.
Mars moves into Cancer on the 15th, making you a force to be reckoned with when it comes to your career aspirations. It's important to show people that you're in control but avoid being overly aggressive. A more gentle approach can be just as impactful for your reputation and advancement. The Full Moon in Scorpio on the 18th can illuminate a money drain, making this a good time to review your bank statement. This energy is also powerful for helping you release stagnant emotions related to an experience that damaged your self-esteem. The month closes off on a lighter note with your sister sign, Gemini, moving into a part of your chart that will bring about travel and learning opportunities.
Scorpio
Laci Jordan for xoNecole
The month begins with a New Moon in your opposite sign on the 4th, bringing your focus to relationships. This energy supports any long-term commitment or business partnership that you're beginning. Mercury moves into Taurus on the 6th and the conversations over the next month will revolve around your key partnerships. You may be taking things to the next level with your significant other or even signing a contract with a new employer. A lucky financial break may come your way around the 9th so make sure you're staying on top of your emails and communication around this time.
On the 15th, Venus returns home and love takes center stage for you. When the planet of love is in this part of your sky, you'll appear even more attractive than usual. Expect to receive tons of attention from people interested in you romantically and even professionally. The cosmos is extremely supportive of bringing you together with someone special during this transit. Mars moves into Cancer on the same day and the wanderlust kicks in. Traveling home or to a place that brings you comfort can be just what your heart needs right now. On the 18th, the Full Moon in your sign is a powerful catalyst for releasing residual pain and trauma that inhibits you from being more real with yourself and with others. It's time to take off the mask and reveal who you are underneath your perpetual state of being unbothered. The month winds down with the Sun and Mercury moving into Gemini as you continue unraveling the complexities of how your experiences have shaped you into the person you are today.
Sagittarius
Laci Jordan for xoNecole
This month brings most of your focus to improving your health with the New Moon on the 4th encouraging you to start a new habit or routine that can benefit your physical well-being. Mercury moves into Taurus on the 6th, motivating you to learn about new approaches to improving your health. Explore different forms of exercise and approaches to your nutrition that can help you live a better lifestyle. On the 9th, a financial stroke of good luck may come your way. If you've dealt with long-standing issues about your self-esteem or money mindset, this energy can provide a positive breakthrough that sets you on a path of deeper self-love and a greater abundance.
On the 15th, Venus moves into her home sign, Taurus, which is helping you attract opportunities and connections that actually benefit the lifestyle changes you're making throughout the month. Making sound choices about the energy you want to engage with can benefit your overall health and well-being. Mars moves into Cancer on the same day, motivating you to work through your mommy issues and intimacy blockages. On the 18th, the Full Moon in Scorpio enhances your psychic abilities and dream world. Pay attention to the messages you receive around this time, which may actually be prophetic. The month closes out with the Sun and Mercury moving into your opposite sign, making the next few weeks all about your key relationships and the important connections you'll be making during the most sociable season of the year.
Capricorn
Laci Jordan for xoNecole
This month brings most of your focus to romance, creativity, and self-expression. It's time to let your hair down and have some fun. As one of the hardest working signs of the zodiac, you have a tendency to neglect your inner child the most. The New Moon in Taurus on the 4th invites you to play with this forgotten aspect of yourself. What new (or old) hobby can you partake in that brings you joy? On the 6th, Mercury moves into the same part of your sky and your mind is overflowing with creative inspiration. During this transit you may create one of your greatest masterpieces to date. Positive breakthrough takes place around the 9th, providing a sense of relief when it comes to a tough habit or lesson you've been trying to come to terms with.
On the 15th, Venus returns home to Taurus making you super sexy and alluring. If you've been experiencing a love drought, get out there! This is one of the most favorable times of year for you to enjoy the adventure of romance. Mars moves into your opposite sign on the same day, which can make you a little aggressive when it comes to love. Try not to be too pushy with your crush or significant other. You'll catch more flies with honey, Cappie. On the 18th, the Full Moon in Scorpio illuminates some weird stuff that's been going down in your friendships. This energy can help you address the issue head on to find a compromise or you may decide the connection isn't worth the energy. The month wraps up with the Sun and Mercury moving into Gemini on the 21st making the next few weeks at work one of the busiest seasons of the year.
Aquarius
Laci Jordan for xoNecole
Home and family takes front and center stage during this time of the year. You may be planning a move or a trip to your hometown around the New Moon in Taurus on the 4th. This part of your chart is also associated with motherhood so don't be surprised if your baby fever is through the roof this month. If you're in the space for it, there can be talks about starting or expanding your family as Mercury, planet of communication, moves into Taurus on the 6th. Babies may be the last thing on your mind, and in that case, you may be more interested in expanding your knowledge about real estate or even your family ancestry. Around the 9th, you can experience a mental breakthrough that helps you reunite with your divinity and connection to God.
Venus returns home on the 15th and love matters are nurtured behind the scenes in your home. You and a significant other may decide to move in together to establish the beginning stages of your family. Mars moves into Cancer on the same day. Over the coming weeks, you'll be motivated to nurture you health and well-being by creating more balance in your daily routines. The Full Moon in Scorpio on the 18th brings recognition in career and social status. Avoid gossip and romance on the job as things have the potential to be exposed at this time. The month ends on a high note with the Sun and Mercury moving into Gemini, boosting your romance and creativity over the weeks to come.
Pisces
Laci Jordan for xoNecole
The month begins with a New Moon in Taurus on the 4th, encouraging you to activate your throat chakra. In what new way can you share your thoughts with the world? On the 6th, Mercury moves into Taurus, which is great energy for learning about a new topic of interest or communicating your ideas. Starting up a vlog or podcast is favorable right now. You've got something to say and the world needs to hear it. Positive breakthrough can take place around the 9th when it comes to any power struggles you've experienced in your friendships. Any subconscious programming that has your social life running amuck can be dissolved around this time.
On the 15th, Venus returns home to Taurus and your conversations get a little sweeter during this transit. You are very persuasive given this energy so use it to your advantage. If you're open to meeting someone new, you may actually get lucky with online dating. Even if you're taken or not interested in love, your IG will be getting plenty of attention from potential suitors. Mars moves into your sister sign, Cancer, on the same day heating things up when it comes to dating, fertility, and creativity. This is the perfect time to seal the deal if you and your partner want to start a family. Depending on your priorities, a creative project may be getting all of your focus during this transit. On the 18th, the Full Moon in Scorpio enhances your connection between you and your Higher Self, offering you a life-changing encounter that reminds you of just how powerful you truly are. May wraps up with the Sun and Mercury moving into Gemini on the 21st, making the next month all about home and family matters.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our weekly newsletter here to receive our latest articles and news straight to your inbox.
Originally published on May 1, 2019.
- Cancer Monthly Astrology Horoscope May 2019 - YouTube ›
- Virgo Monthly Horoscope – May 2019 ›
- ARIES MAY 2019 Astrology Horoscope Forecast - YouTube ›
- Leo Monthly Horoscope May 2019 ›
- May 2019 Monthly Horoscope for all zodiac signs ›
- Taurus May 2019 Monthly Horoscope Predictions | SunSigns.Org ›
- May Horoscope – 2019 Monthly Horoscope – Astrology King ›
- Virgo May 2019 Monthly Horoscope Predictions | SunSigns.Org ›
- May 2019 monthly horoscope - A wonderful Month! ›
RELATED
I’ve never been married before (which is how I personally define single), so did that trigger me? Eh. Trigger isn’t the right word (check out “Single Women: Yes, You Are Qualified To Talk About Relationships”); more like, it reminded me of how tired I am of, again, shallow and gross generalizations. You see, I’ve been a marriage life coach, successfully so, for over 20 years now and I’m even super proud to say that I’ve been able to help to reconcile a few divorces along the way — something that I don’t personally know any therapist, counselor or life coach, married or not, to have done. You see, when you have a purpose, are committed to it, and take evolving in it seriously, “status” and people’s opinions don’t hinder it.
Hmph, if anything, let me tell it, folks should applaud singles who respect marriage enough to not want to just…do it…just to be doing it. Besides, as I oftentimes say, with the divorce rate what it is (still holding at around 50 percent, by the way), seems like even married people (and a lot of divorced folks) are out here “crap shooting” when it comes to providing insights on how to make a marriage work and last — in a healthy way (which is key) too.
And just what does all of this possibly have to do with today’s topic? Well, because life is full of cynical people (chile, I am well aware), if anything has the potential to rub some folks the wrong way it would be what we’re about to touch on — at least, on the onset. Because what’s a very popular saying out in these internet streets: “Relationships, especially marriage, are hard work,” right? And here I come, with my single self, pushing back on that — AND I AM.
And you know what? Due to a philosophy that I both have and implement into my coaching, I have seen many married couples shift from “hard work” to marital maintenance. And a big part of it has been because we have worked through the following seven points — and that has altered, shoot, everything.
Are you ready to hear why this single woman believes what she does about the whole “It really doesn’t have to be grueling” thing?
Let’s proceed.
Toiling vs. Maintenance. Let’s Discuss.
GiphyThe first time that I recall being introduced to the word “toil,” was in the Bible, after God gave Adam and Eve their consequences for what went down at the tree. Eve was told that she would submit to her husband and experience pain during labor and Adam was told that he would have to toil for his provision (Adam was to toil not Eve — some of y’all will catch that later — Genesis 3:14-21).
Toil is a rough word. It means “hard and continuous work” and “exhausting labor or effort.” Some synonyms for toil include exertion, pains, sweat, drudgery, and strain. As a result of Adam and the Woman (Eve’s name prior to sin — Genesis 2:18-25), Adam was going to have to work hard, continuously so, to meet a lot of his and his family’s needs. Toiling was the result of not listening. Bookmark that.
When it comes to relationships being hard work, while there are definitely seasons when a couple will have to put in more sweat (and tears) equity to get through more than others (because some seasons throw more stress and curveballs than others), if they constantly feel like their union is a form of toiling? Something is definitely up — and not in a good way.
Personally, I liken relationships to starting a garden: although, in the beginning, you may have to put in a lot to prepare the soil, remove the rocks, fertilize, plant, etc., once you get your groove and you make it a point to care for your garden on a daily basis, then it transitions into mere maintenance:
Maintenance: the act of maintaining; means of upkeep, support, or subsistence; livelihood
Maintain: to keep in existence or continuance; preserve; retain; to keep in an appropriate condition, operation, or force; keep unimpaired; to keep in a specified state, position, etc.; to affirm; assert; declare; to support in speech or argument, as a statement or proposition; to keep or hold against attack; to provide for the upkeep or support of; carry the expenses of; to sustain or support
Synonyms: cultivate (that’s a good one); manage; guard; renew; repair; supply; protect; provide; retain; uphold; persevere; advocate; hold; insist; stand by
Toiling (hard work) vs. maintenance (to keep in existence) — do you see how, while they both certainly require effort, one is way more straining and stress-filled than the other? And do you also get a bit more of why I am a firm believer that if folks are willing to “maintain their relationship garden,” expressing on-loop about how hard things are, that simply doesn’t have to be the case?
So, what causes so many folks to believe that relationships are more like toiling instead of maintenance? Good question.
1. Relationships Can Be Really Hard When You’re Not with the Right Person
GiphyThere is a divorced woman and an engaged man who I find myself being like, “Naw, that’s not everyone; that’s YOU” whenever they tell me or I hear them tell other people about how hard marriage is. The divorced woman?
To this day, I definitely will stand by the fact that she had one of the most unhealthy marriages that I had ever witnessed and a big part of it was because she ignored rows of red flags before saying “I do” — his totally dysfunctional relationship with his mother; his very odd views on religion and race; the fact that he didn’t have many friends (and that he was low-key disrespectful to hers); how selfish and controlling he was (and still is); his very shallow views on therapy…oh, I could go on and on.
She married him anyway and so, what did she think was going to happen? That her marriage was going to be easy street? With a man like that?
As far as the engaged guy goes, I don’t think I’ve seen him and his fiancée go 10 days without some kind of a drag-out argument. He is constantly wanting to feel respected and she is constantly feeling unheard. He has been married before and felt the same way in his other relationship. And so, when he says that relationships are hard work — sir, you keep picking the same kind of person over and over again. Not getting a lesson in life and repeating it until you do? Yep, that is hard work.
And that’s why the first thing that must be addressed when it comes to “hard work relationships” is if you’re with someone who really isn’t your best fit — because…have you ever tried to put a puzzle piece into a spot where it doesn’t belong? That is indeed some hard work. On the other hand, when it goes where it was designed to, it slides in with ease.
I could go on and on about this point; however, I think y’all get the gist. Plus, there is more ground to cover, so let’s continue…
2. Relationships Can Be Really Hard When You Don’t Put in Daily Intentional Effort
GiphyIf someone were to ask you how much time, on average, couples spend together on a daily basis, what would you say? If you have no clue, let me give you a hint: it’s the same amount of time that most people also spend on social media: 2.5 hours. This literally means that folks are out here prioritizing their relationship in the same way that they do their Instagram account — and that is a damn shame.
When it comes to relationships, one of my favorite quotes is, “People change and forget to tell each other.” And this is probably the reason why a lot of individuals, when asked why their relationship ended, will simply shrug and say, “We just grew apart.” Did you — or did you not put in daily effort to maintain — guard, renew, supply, uphold, and manage — your relationship? Because really, if you’ve got 24 hours in a day, 168 hours in a week, and roughly 720 hours in a month (depending on how many days are in said month) and only a tiny bit of that time is spent on your relationship, how could trying to play catch-up not feel like hard work to you?
While growing up, I would go to visit my dad and great-grandparents in Dallas every summer. A memory that I have is my great-grandfather watering the lawn, every evening, like clockwork. He had the best lawn on the block too. He wasn’t sweating and struggling while he was out there with his water hose. That man would sit in a lawn chair and kick right on back — because he was maintaining his yard…daily.
If a lot of couples were honest, they would admit that they put more time into, shoot, everything else BUT their relationship — and that’s why it feels like hard work so much. If that’s you, devote that social media time to your bae. See how much it improves and enhances your dynamic when you do. It just might surprise you.
3. Relationships Can Be Really Hard When You’ve Got a Toxic “Support System”
GiphyWanna know something that really makes a relationship hard? Having moments of struggle and having family members and friends who only have negative things to say. This is another reason why it amazes me that folks think that single people are automatically relationally problematic to married folks (as far as advice and insight go) when my clients tell me that it’s mostly MARRIED AND DIVORCED INDIVIDUALS who they get some of the worst advice from as far as how they should handle their “valley situations.”
Whew, there is nothing like someone claiming to tell you that they are looking out for you when really, they are just projecting their own toxic mess onto you — and that happens…a lot. And when you don’t have people around who are fans of marriage and advocates of yours (not either or…both), when you need someone to lean on, pray for you, offer insight that will “get you to the other side” and no one’s around — of course, that can make your relationship feel like really hard work. Of course, you are going to toil.
Right now, I have a friend who is going through one of the hardest times in her marriage. Guess who she’s talking to a lot? Me. Why? “I know that you will never encourage me to leave my husband,” she has said — and she’s right. Meanwhile, she’s got some married people who are talking about what they wouldn’t put up with or tolerate. This man isn’t abusing my friend. They are simply having a challenging time. It happens. What she needs is the kind of support that is going to “fuel her” through this part of her journey — not a group of folks who bring new meaning to misery loves company (online or off, by the way).
Yeah, surrounding yourself with poison when you are going through a relationship trial? That can definitely make marriage feel like it’s really, really hard work.
4. Relationships Can Be Really Hard When You Fail to Take Accountability
GiphyEver notice that when people talk about why their marriage failed, 8.5 times out of 10, they will go on and on about what their former spouse did or didn’t do and yet will say absolutely nothing about what they could’ve/should’ve done better?
That’s called not taking personal accountability and it actually helps to explain why the divorce rate significantly increases with second (67 percent) and third (73 percent) marriages — people are so busy thinking that someone else is the problem and so all they need to do is “push reset” with a new person when all that does is amplify the point of one of my all-time favorite quotes: “Everywhere you go, there you are.” (I believe it’s Confucious who originated that.)
Accountability helps you to take responsibility for your actions. Accountability helps you to see where you can stand to improve. Accountability helps you to take constructive criticism. Accountability helps you to handle things in a mature rather than childish fashion (more of that in a bit). Accountability helps you to apologize. Accountability helps you to actually listen instead of always wanting to only be heard. Accountability helps you to grow up.
If you are bad at holding yourself accountable or you are in a relationship with someone who sucks at personal accountability — hell, no wonder your relationship is wearing you out. You can’t get anywhere far or good with someone who refuses to hold themselves accountable. My advice in this instance? See a therapist/counselor/life coach — STAT.
5. Relationships Can Be Really Hard When Your Expectations Are Unrealistic (or Hypocritical)
GiphyI believe I’ve shared before that I’ve got a friend — a friend who’s been married for over 20 years, by the way — who, whenever his wife finds herself comparing their marriage to others or she rants about things that she’s dissatisfied with and it seems to come totally out of the blue, he will simply say, “You need to lower your expectations, honey.”
It tickles me every time I think about it because, what he’s basically saying is, “Now, you were fine until you went on a scrolling social media marathon or one of your friends talked about their wedding ring upgrade and now, here you are — making problems where there are none.” See, he’s not telling her to have no expectations; he’s telling her to be realistic about the ones that she comes up with — and that is some grown kids' advice right there.
When it comes to this particular point, a great example of having unrealistic expectations is to bring perfectionism into your relational dynamic. Wanting a flawless relationship is always going to make things trying because not only is there no such thing (because you are not perfect and neither is your partner), perfectionism is rooted in things like being hypercritical, never knowing how to be content, setting goals that are damn near impossible to reach, constantly stressing yourself out as well as those who are around you and not knowing how to live in the moment.
I know some perfectionists and I honestly try to keep my distance from them because they are draining to be around, so I can only imagine what it’s like to be in a relationship with one. SMDH. If this pushed some buttons, absolutely, being in a relationship with a perfectionist is hard work.
As far as the hypocrisy thing goes — it deserves its own article. For now, I’ll just say, that if you’re someone who expects from your partner what you yourself are not providing, not only are you being hypocritical, but you are a miserable person to be around as well. Because there is nothing like being in a relationship with someone who sets higher expectations of their partner than they do for their own selves. Amen? Amen.
6. Relationships Can Be Really Hard When Intimacy Is Lacking
GiphyI am totally unapologetic when I say that one of the greatest relationship gaslights of all time is believing that someone is unfaithful if they have sex with someone other than their committed partner while totally ignoring the fact that it is also an unfaithful act to commit to being your partner’s only sex outlet while refusing to sleep with them. Both things are selfish. Both things are toxic. Both things are relationally counterproductive. Yeah, you are definitely setting yourself up to have an excruciating relationship if you fall into one of these categories.
That’s a big part of the reason why I appreciated the “Dead Ass Podcast Season 4- Episode 2: Monogamy Expectations Vs. Reality” episode (featuring Devale and Khadeen Ellis) that I watched a few weeks back. Although it’s a few years old, if you are married or are considering getting married, it really is an unfiltered take between a husband and wife about intimacy, the expectations and needs within intimacy, and how to balance it all that you should check out. Something else that I like about it?
It’s a blaring reminder that SEX IS A RESPONSIBILITY IN MARRIAGE — and perhaps that is one of the real downsides about sex outside of it: since, when you are single, you are mostly focused on you and you alone when it comes to sex, it can be hard to realize that you need to prioritize your partner’s needs just as much as your own (as they do the same for you) after jumping the broom.
This means that no — you can’t be out here “not in the mood” for months at a time and then be freaking out at the thought of your partner liking an IG picture. Because let’s be real — on what planet does a sane person sign up for exclusivity or monogamy and then not expect to receive intimacy from the only source that they committed to get it from? Listen, if your partner sleeps with someone else, they cheated and, at the same time, if you refused to sleep with them, didn’t you cheat (the agreement) too?
In a long-term committed relationship, sex is one of the main things that sets it apart from all other relational dynamics. If you’re not bringing that to the table, how are YOU being faithful to the relationship?
Let’s please stop bugging when it comes to this because absolutely no one (who is physically capable) wants to be in a long-term sexless romantic relationship. That said, anyone who has a partner who minimizes intimacy, manipulates intimacy, or weaponizes intimacy — they are absolutely grueling to be around. Torturous even. And yes, to try and make it work with this type of individual…that is beyond hard work.
7. Relationships Can Be Really Hard When You’re Not Mature Enough for a Relationship
GiphyThere is a man that I know who has been married for a few decades at this point and, throughout that entire time, he has mentioned how hard and incredibly stressful his marriage is. I bet because I have seen in a very up close and personal way that he’s with someone who is emotionally immature.
Yeah, while social media influencers are constantly talking about how they want someone who is emotionally intelligent (effective conflict management is one sign of that, relationship folks — so is apologizing and forgiving — hmm…), what we really need to be addressing in these streets is what it means to be emotionally immature:
- Emotionally immature people are poor communicators
- Emotionally immature people are self-centered
- Emotionally immature people act impulsively
- Emotionally immature people are inflexible and don’t know how to compromise
- Emotionally immature people are inconsistent
- Emotionally immature people like to play the victim
- Emotionally immature people don’t manage their emotions well
- Emotionally immature people make excuses instead of taking responsibility for their actions
- Emotionally immature people tend to overreact to things
- Emotionally immature people “go on the attack” and/or hit below the belt during conflict
Meanwhile, signs of emotional maturity:
- Emotionally mature people know how to own their ish without deflecting
- Emotionally mature people have healthy boundaries
- Emotionally mature people are solutions rather than problems-oriented
- Emotionally mature people are flexible and adaptable
- Emotionally mature people strive to see the positives and silver linings of things
- Emotionally mature people are humble (peep how much social media pushes back on humility)
- Emotionally mature people are very self-aware (about their good and not-so-good points)
- Emotionally mature people can put themselves in other people’s shoes
- Emotionally mature people aren’t bitter
- Emotionally mature people know how to be patient
Do you know how many folks out here are absolutely not with an emotionally mature person? And when a grown adult feels like they are damn near babysitting their partner — how could that not feel like some really hard work?
____
Now do you get why this article has the title that it does? Just imagine if more people took all of what I said to heart and then altered the things that they are doing here. Do you get how their relationship could go from being hard work to being maintenance? Less toiling and more cultivating? Less exhausting labor and more upkeep? Less drudgery and more affirming?
Again, I have clients who’ve told me that since we’ve worked on these very issues, their marriage is easier than it’s ever been. Hmph. That’s what happens when you stop calling the relationship “hard work” and focus more on being easier to deal with instead.
Both ways. Just sayin’.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by FG Trade/Getty Images