This Documentary Chronicling Black Women Entrepreneurs Is Your Weekend Must-See
OK, so I have to be honest: When 'everybody' is talking about something or something's labeled 'buzzworthy', I typically stay away from it. I'm often a skeptic and rebel who prefers to let hype die down before I even consider paying anything any mind. (Some journalists and everyday citizens are cringing about this but, trust me, if you've ever worked in media and experienced pop-culture saturation, traffic chasing, and bad news burnout, you feel me.)
So when there's lots of talk about a new film or TV show streaming on the Web, my first reaction is a shrug. I've been mad at Netflix as of late anyway. I'm a consumer who can have an insatiable appetite for newness, and after I've spent just a week binge-watching all the shows I love (i.e. music and pop culture documentaries, true crime investigations, historical films, comedic and crime dramas, and Nollywood flicks), I tend to get bored.
I want to see something new, entertaining, intriguing, and intelligently executed almost daily, but streaming platforms simply don't work that way.
With Netflix, once you've picked three limited "preferences" you're stuck with the same titles for weeks on end, and they're recycled over and over. Let's just say I've been hungry for that new-new.
Image by Giphy
Toward the end of last year, I noticed that several of my media and fashion-industry peers were posting on social about a new documentary that celebrated black women entrepreneurs. They'd all been witnesses to the producer's latest venture via screening events and were able to enjoy the moment with her. (I actually felt a bit out of the loop and left out. See, that's what I get for being an introverted skeptic.)
The name of the person behind the film was not new to me. I'd been a fan of "In Her Shoes" blog and its founder, Renae Bluitt, for years and had met her in passing at several events in New York. I also worked for a publication that had featured her glow up, and I loved what she and her brand represented.
When Bluitt's documentary, She Did That., finally made it to Netflix this month, I was super-geeked to check it out and finally share in the moment as my peers had. The project went well beyond hype. It was something new, intriguing, and well, very intelligently executed.
Here are 3 good reasons you need to go ahead and log in to Netflix---or even renew a once-forgotten subscription---and add this to your starving watch list:
You'll Have No Choice BUT To Be Inspired To DO Something Great
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Bluitt's doc features phenomenal entrepreneurs I've always admired including Lisa Price, who sold her multi-million-dollar natural haircare brand, Carol's Daughter, to L'Oreal in a landmark deal, Luvvie Ajayi, who turned a layoff into an opportunity to became a best-selling author and sought-after speaker, and Tonya Rapley, founder of My Fab Finance who has helped thousands find freedom from debt and reach their money goals.
I loved that Bluitt's doc didn't sugarcoat things, wasn't some fairytale---or cautionary tale---about black women in business, and provided authentic insight from entrepreneurs who've actually seen scalable success and have receipts.
(Rapley in particular shared a very candid story about her own financial struggles and enlightened me on something I think many women overlook--financial abuse at the hands of a bae. I've followed her career as well and never heard this story so transparently before.) The keep-it-real conversations about starting from scratch should put a fire under anybody's butt to get out there and, well, do the damn thing---whatever that thing is.
You'll Actually See Black Women--And Their Men---Empowering Each Other
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The film also featured everyday women who may not be in the forefront of news headlines but had great insights to contribute about the power of entrepreneurial sisterhood and female partnership. A major theme in the film was that black women indeed support one another, and that we're not all at one another's throats to get to the bag. It's the community of sisterly unity in the space that keeps many women motivated, supported and thriving, whether it's spiritual, financial or infrastructural. Also, the inclusion of men was refreshing. Unlike some female-focused or "feminist" docs I've seen, this one shed light on husbands and baes who were supportive and detailed how they played essential roles in the success of the women featured.
It's All the More Reason For Netflix to Celebrate the Black Female Experience
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We all know how media works: What's popularly "liked" will be duplicated or offered more. For films, it's box-office numbers. For Web stories, it's pageviews and shares. In this case, what you view and like makes a world of difference in terms of what will be offered in the future. Netflix will "forgo or choose not to renew some titles that aren't watched enough relative to their cost." (It even mentions on its site that when you rate content, "you're helping us filter through the thousands of selections to get a better idea of what you'd like to watch." It also explains that its algorithm takes factors into consideration including "the combined ratings of all Netflix members who have similar tastes to you." The more we see diverse depictions of the female voice and experience, the better. We need more black women to be empowered to build foundations for the next generation, and other cultures and communities must take notice of our impact in order to invest and partner for enriching all communities.
Check out the trailer for She Did That., below and watch in full on Netflix. You can also follow In Her Shoes blog for more entrepreneurial and life inspiration.
Featured Image via In Her Shoes
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images