In xoNecole's Finding Balance, we profile boss women making boss moves in the world and in their respective industries. We talk to them about their business, their life, and most of all, what they do to find balance in their busy lives.
It's not easy being a #GirlBoss, just ask In Her Shoes founder Renae Bluitt.
The entrepreneur and Beauty PR expert not only juggles a full schedule working with clients and running her award-winning website, but recently has added another noteworthy title on her resume: producer. (Honestly, is there anything Black girls can't do?) Launching her documentary, "She Did That," to elevate the conversation surrounding Black women and entrepreneurship, Bluitt knows that it takes a true grind and hustle to make things happen. However, a true boss knows how to make it happen while still looking fly.
To see what it takes to be the boss, we wanted to know how Bluitt juggles her multiple hats, tasks her responsibilities on her new documentary "She Did That," and most importantly, how she mastered the work/life balance.
On an "average" day for her:
Depending on what's hot on my plate on a particular day or week, my days look pretty different. Some days my focus is on production meetings and filming for my new documentary "She Did That," which is slated for release later this year. Other days, I'm servicing my beauty PR clients and/or juggling the two. I also have a blog that I've been managing for the past nine years, In Her Shoes, which is all about Black women entrepreneurs.
On the most hectic part of her busy week:
The most hectic part of my week is any given Monday when I've worked or traveled over the weekend! Getting productive at the top of a week can be a bit challenging when I didn't have time to recharge my battery, but I push through by switching up my work environment (Brooklyn has the best cafes!) and/or planning a co-working day with a fellow entrepreneur. The energy from other people and new spaces seem to be just what I need to fuel my day.
On her self-care routine:
Rest, rest, and more rest. Did I say rest? I learned quite some time ago that Team #NoSleep doesn't serve me well at all. When I'm running on fumes, I'm cranky, my mind isn't as sharp, and my ideas aren't as fluid. I used to be a serious night owl but I try my best to be in bed before 11pm most nights to get at least seven-eight hours of rest. It truly does the body and mind good. Another vital part of my self care is time with God through conversation and prayer. I find that when I don't prioritize this, things are always a bit off for me.
On breaking through moments of uncertainty:
Taking on a project that's bigger than you, in an area that is totally new and outside of your area of expertise can be overwhelming to say the least. The making of "She Did That" has taught me so many lessons that extend beyond filmmaking. This project has been a labor of love and test of my faith and patience, but every time someone sees the trailer and says how much it inspires them, I'm motivated to keep going.
There was a time when I was really concerned about how we were going to finance this project. Filmmaking is costly, and while we have a couple of corporate partners on board, the budget for this film requires additional funding. I've invested a lot of my own financial resources into this project because it's my baby, and if I don't believe in it, who will? I've always had a challenge asking for help in my personal life, so when I realized this was spilling into my professional endeavors, I knew I needed to step out of my comfort zone and get out of my own way. That said, the first order of business was to finally ask our community to help us bring this dream to life. We launched a GoFundMe that is currently trending on the crowdsourcing platform and gives others an opportunity to be a part of HERstory. "She Did That" is one of the very first documentaries celebrating Black women entrepreneurs. Who doesn't want to say they helped to bring something as powerful as this to life?
On finding balance with friends:
This one isn't too challenging because somehow I've weaved a lot of my friendships into my work. A lot of my friends are fellow entrepreneurs and/or makers so we find ourselves collaborating and supporting each other's work quite a bit, which also allows for quality time together. One of the things I like most about living in Brooklyn is the sense of community. So many of my friends live within blocks of me, so it's easy for us to catch up for a meal or a cocktail in the neighborhood after work or on the weekends.
On finding balance in love and relationships:
I believe it's important to make time for relationships. I'm actively dating and putting myself in environments where I'm more likely to meet someone, whether it's an online dating platform or an event in the city. When people say they don't have time to date, it's because it's just not a priority. We make time for the things we really want, be it career or personal.
On the importance of exercise:
I'm totally embarrassed to say this, but perhaps sharing it publicly will help make me more accountable. Although I have a gym in my building— just two flights up from my apartment— I don't exercise as much as I should. I don't have a routine, but when I do workout, I multi-task and use that time to catch up on a few of my favorite podcasts. I just started a brand ambassadorship with SoulCycle, so all of this is subject to change soon!
On what success means:
Success to me is freedom. I want to be at a place in my life where I have the freedom to choose what I do each day, and hand-pick the projects I devote my time and talents to. Success is also contributing something to the community and being in a position to give more than I receive. Success is helping someone build a bridge to a better life. Success is many things, but it's nothing if reaching your goals only benefits you alone.
Check out Renae's GoFundMe for more information on "She Did That," which features The Lip Bar's Melissa Butler, Carol's Daughter's Lisa Price, MyFabFinance's Tonya Rapley, and best-selling author Luvvie Ajayi.
Originally published March 3, 2018
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Having a community of people who I can share memories with, lean on in times of need, and inspire each other is something I always valued. I took a moment to truly center in on what I desired from the new friends I would make. Then I realized it all would have to start with me. I had to be centered and confident in who I was to attract who I desired to be aligned with. As someone who moved to a new city and established quality friendships, I gathered these six tips that helped me feel grounded and create community in hopes that it will help you, too.
6 tips to start building community and making new friends in a new city:
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Be true to yourself
Do you know who you are? If someone asked you to describe yourself in three words, what words would you use? In order to develop deep friendships, you must be a friend to yourself first. Know what refuels you and what zaps your energy. Self-study your habits and why you do the things you do. All this will be important to keep in mind when looking to create bonds with others. Every day there’s all kinds of people telling you who you should be, how you should act, or what you should wear. At the end of the day, the only opinion about yourself that truly matters is your own. Spend some alone time with yourself indoors or out at an event you like to truly discover who you are in this season of your life.
Pray about it
Before you step out into the world and cross paths with all kinds of people, it’s important to pray about building your community. God outlines what true friendship looks like in numerous Bible verses such as "Iron sharpens iron." - Proverbs 27:17 and “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.” - Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. If you desire friendships that last, pray about what you seek in friendship. I remember praying for mentally stable, happy, and whole women who moved through life with abundance mindsets. Take a moment to journal about the community you want to build and then pray on it.
Go to fun events to meet people who share your interests
Most metropolitan cities like Washington, D.C., New York City, and Atlanta are known to have strong young professional communities and events where you can connect with others. I highly encourage you to attend events in or near your community to see what the city is like and meet people. It’s likely that the people at the event have the same interests as you, which is a great way to start a conversation. You can start by searching for events on Eventbrite or following Instagram pages that highlight events happening in your city.
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Accept that you won’t be compatible with everyone you meet
While living in your new city, it’s likely you’ll meet a variety of people. Please know that everyone you meet will not bud into lasting friendships, and that’s okay! You are uniquely created and not made for everyone. Then you’ll meet people who are good for only surface-level connections, and then you’ll have your girls who you can get deep with. I think sometimes people can look down on surface-level friendships, but not everyone needs to fully know you. That’s a privilege to have and to accept within yourself. Continue to check in with yourself and be real about who you crave to spend more time with and who is nice to see for a monthly or quarterly catch-up.
Join Facebook groups & GroupMe chats
If you haven’t used Facebook in a couple of years, it’s time to dust your profile off. Facebook Groups is a great place to join online communities for people who just moved to a new city like you. Typically, you have to agree to the group’s guidelines, and then you can join. For example, you can search for groups in the Facebook app by using keywords like women, Black girl, or [the name of your city] foodies. With the GroupMe app, you’ll have to be invited to join an already existing group. While you’re out and about networking, don’t hesitate to ask if they’re in any online groups/communities they recommend you join too.
Be friendly to folks in your neighborhood
When I first moved to my new apartment, I spent the first week walking around the complex and working in the community spaces to get a better feel of it. I was able to meet people in my neighborhood, enjoy small talk, and learn more about what the community has to offer. Step outside of your comfort zone and work in your apartment’s community space or a local coffee shop to connect with others.
Overall, you may feel alone in your new city, but I guarantee you’re not. There are other people experiencing living in a new city too, and all you need to do is find each other. I hope these tips help ease the nervous feelings you have about building a new community and inspire you to make a new friend today!
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