Ask Ayana Iman: Should I Take A Leap Of Faith In My Career Or Stay In My Comfort Zone?
Ask Ayana Iman is a bi-monthly advice column where real women anonymously submit their questions about work, life, and love. In response, certified life coach Ayana Iman drops some much-needed gems. Check out this newest segment below.
Dear Ayana Iman: I have been a teacher for the last six years and I'm not in a place where I want to try my plan A again in order to pursue my career. I recently got married and my husband supports my dream to write sitcoms/movie scripts. I even taught for a year in South Korea while getting my Master's degree. I am no longer happy with my job and truly worn out but I'm really good at my job.
Everyone else seems to think it's "my calling" but I genuinely do not feel this way about my career. I have recently experienced several close family members pass away and it always makes me question how I want to be remembered and how important it is to really live your life and follow your dreams. Should I take the leap of faith with becoming a writer or stay in my comfort zone with teaching? Please help. Thanks.
"Everyone else seems to think it's my calling…" What do you think is your calling? That's most important. From your own education to years on the job, you seem like a very ambitious woman who has been dedicated to becoming the best teacher possible. That itch you're feeling shouldn't be ignored. Having a major loss in your life is one of the biggest determinants for a career change. Time is precious, as I'm sure you've come to know. You now have several reasons to take a leap of faith.
The next leg of your journey does not have to be a painful departure from the present. Before quitting, make sure you have maximized all opportunities at your current job, most notably, taking a sabbatical. A sabbatical is a period of paid or (most likely) unpaid leave granted to a worker for study, travel, or restoring their health, traditionally for six months to one year. This time could be used to fully focus on your writing and building relationships without losing your salary. The beauty about being a teacher is that you have the summers off, which is an additional 2-3 months of uninterrupted bliss. Plan your sabbatical to coincide with your summer vacation to truly maximize your experience.
While the appeal of having your husband financially support your dreams is strong, I believe you would be better served by keeping your independence. As newlyweds, this shift in your career and finances could change your relationship, for better or for worse. You must find additional streams of revenue to offset your personal costs to limit any potential ambiguity. Some valid options include:
- Pitching to news outlets for writing opportunities. Writing frequently will strengthen your skill set, and the byline of a school teacher choosing to live her dreams makes for great branding.
- Teaching at your local community college or university as an adjunct professor will give you a stable income and flexible schedule.
These suggestions aren't to deter you from receiving help from your husband. I'm sure he's a perfectly good guy that is more than capable of taking care of his woman but not without a conversation about expectations. The life of a writer is not traditional and inspiration is needed to produce that award-winning script. Will he support you through writing blocks, extended quiet time on your laptop, and days less productive than others? This is that transformative moment to work out your kinks, starting with your goals and ending with your fears, so that as partners, you are committed to seeing it through.
I hope you choose to take a leap of faith and invest in yourself. You cannot spend your days pouring into your students and letting them know the possibilities of life when you aren't accepting of this truth. I'm rooting for you.
Featured image by Getty Images.
Do you have a question about love, life, career, wellness, etc. that you'd like for life coach Ayana to answer in a future Ask Ayana Iman segment? Submit your questions here for a chance to have your question answered! Click here for past Ask Ayana Iman posts to see if your question has already been answered or to read past stories/advice!
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Ayana Iman is a certified life coach, professional speaker, and mama of one based in New Jersey. She's also known for her love of big hair, travel, and cooking. Find her across social @AyanaIman.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Rihanna Talks Shedding Expectations And Finding Balance As A Mother
Since becoming a mother in 2022, Rihanna has defined parenthood by her terms and hopes to pass that sense of autonomy on to her children.
For Vogue China’s April cover story, Rihanna shared her perspective on raising her two sons with A$AP Rocky, and how she hopes to preserve her children’s uniqueness, devoid of societal expectations.
"The most beautiful thing...is that [children] come into the world with their own individuality and sincerity, without any logic or conformity,” she told the publication. “Which usually makes you feel that you must fit into a certain group."
The “Work” artist, known for her trendsetting style and captivating persona, expressed her desire to support children in fully embracing their individuality and encouraging them to be whoever they want to be. "It's really beautiful to see and I want to continue to help them navigate that and make sure that they know they can be whoever they want to be,” she says.
She continues, “They should embrace it completely, because it's beautiful, and it's unique. I love them just that way."
From shattering music charts to shaking up the beauty industry, Rihanna has forged a path that has since created the “dream” life we see today. One that she says has made her parents proud of.
“I’m living my dream,” she continued. “My parents were very proud of that because they just wanted me to be happy and successful. So, I think the key thing is to find some kind of balance. Yes, balance is important. Do this and you get the best of both worlds. You can write your own life the way you want, and it will be beautiful. Sometimes, you just need to let go of everyone’s expectations and start living your own story.”
Rihanna, who shares sons, RZA, 23 months, and Riot, 8 months, with rapper A$AP Rocky, recently shared her vision for expanding her family in the future in Interview Magazine.
When stylist Mel Ottenberg asked about the number of additional children she hoped to have, Rihanna replied, "As many as God wants me to have.”
"I don't know what God wants, but I would go for more than two. I would try for my girl,” she adds. “But of course, if it's another boy, it's another boy."
Featured image by Neil MockfordWireImage