Rise and shine, butterflies! We all value our beauty rest and would much rather stay home in our cozy beds but, let's face it, we have work to do! Overcoming the morning blues can be difficult, especially if you are not an early bird or a morning person. What you might not realize is, conquering your mornings is all about your routine and energy.
In order to develop a good morning routine, it takes time and some practice but it's worth it. The best way to ensure that you are having a good day is to start off in the best way possible. Let's set some morning routines into practice to brighten your days.
1.Wake Up to Music That Uplifts You
Wake up earlier and to the music that moves you. Personally, I wake up in the morning to artists such as Jill Scott and Erykah Badu because their voices are soothing and their lyrics exude self-confidence. If I feel like I need a push to go to the gym in the morning, I would set my alarm to an artist like O.T. Genasis. His voice is loud and forceful which is just the sound that you may need to give you that extra push to get up in the morning. Using Alexa to set my alarms has been a great help towards setting my daily alarms for Monday through Friday. If you don't have Alexa, try to use an actual alarm versus using your phone. If you have to use your phone as an alarm, make sure your phone is not easily accessible so that you are forced to get out of your bed to turn it off. Music therapy is a good way to set yourself up for a positive day. Use music to help get into the groove of things.
2.Let Go of All Judgements, Expectations and Comparisons
There are two things that are essential for creating the positive day that you desire. First, is to be grateful for having the pleasure of waking up, living, and breathing. Second, is to kindly remind yourself to let go of all judgements, expectations, and comparisons. All three of these things can play a pivotal role in how you carry yourself throughout the day. The goal is to start your day at ease and with a peaceful mind. The last thing you want to do is to allow judgments, expectations, and comparisons to weigh down on your spirits. The purpose is to make the morning time your time only.
3.No Social Media for the First 1-2 hours of Your Day
Many of us are guilty of waking up and the first thing that we check is social media. Social media has truly become a way of life and very influential but it can also become one of our biggest distractions. For many of us, social media is a tool used to run our businesses, sponsorships, or influence others. Yet, it doesn't hurt to limit your engagements on social media. As a means to put yourself first, try to avoid logging into social media for the first 1-2 hours of your day. Use your mornings to focus on you and taking proper care of yourself. You want to be more productive and limiting your time on social media gives you more time to narrow in on everything that you need to do for the day.
4.Stretch/Exercise
Reach to the sky, take a deep breath, and relax your mind. Sometimes the best way to start your day is with a good stretch. Stretching helps to relieve stress and tension within the muscles. Get some circulation flowing throughout your body so that you can cope better with your day and what it entails. Give yourself at least 5 minutes to lift your energy levels with a good stretch.
5.Do Not Skip Breakfast
Whatever you do, do not skip breakfast. Breakfast is one of the most important meals of the day. Whether the meal is big or small, the nutrients count towards your energy. Starting your day with an empty stomach can have a huge effect on your productivity. Put yourself first by feeding your body with the nutrients it deserves.
6.Place Affirmations on Your Mirror to Recite
Whether it's a quote from your favorite author or song lyrics, positive words, and affirmations are important for you well-being. Begin your morning by reciting positive words as you take a look into the mirror. Speak inspiration and great vibrations into yourself and don't wait for others to do it. Take control of how you feel about yourself by writing messages that remind you of who you are and your goals in life. Be honest with yourself and speak into existence what battles your plan on tackling for the day.
Set the mood right for yourself and do it early. You'll see a difference within yourself and how you approach your daily activities and interactions with others. Remember that how you treat yourself is valuable. In order to show up in best form you have to take proper care of yourself. Find your morning nitch and stick to it. Be your own calm before the storm.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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