Relationship Expert Dr. Stacii Jae Johnson Shares Tips On Maintaining Healthy Relationships
Dating in the modern world can be tricky, especially if individuals aren't given the proper tools to obtain and maintain a healthy, loving, and satisfying relationship.
With the limited information, many could find themselves either settling for less than they deserve or in a never-ending cycle of bad situationships and relationships. But that's where Dr. Stacii Jae Johnson comes in.
The best-selling author and relationship expert made it her life's mission to help women and couples dominate the relationship realm by asking the right questions and assisting others in figuring out their overall goals when it comes to love.
Dr. Johnson, who has been offering relationship advice for over two decades, has used personal experiences from her dating life to help what she says a "million women and couples create healthy love."
The public speaker's work is so influential that she's been featured in various well-known publications and is hosting the reality TV series OWN's Put a Ring on It.
In addition to Dr. Johnson's profound career, she is extending her services by collaborating with xoNecole, to create weekly 90-second video segments discussing specific topics to help individuals get and sustain healthy love.
Last week, in a video announcing the new collaboration, the 52-year-old opened up about what inspired her to help others find fulfilling relationships.
Dr. Johnson's inspiration behind helping women and couples find and create a well-rounded relationship
In the clip, Dr. Johnson revealed that her late mother prioritized always showing her and her brother "good love" despite the hardships.
"My mother passed away of cancer and going through her fifth divorce when she was 56 years old in 2005. Before she passed, more than anything, she said she wanted to show my brother and I, good love," she explained.
Later in the video, Dr. Johnson shared that her mother's gestures "resonated" with her because, at the time, she didn't fully comprehend how to love healthily because she lacked the tools to do it.
"That just resonated with me because I had zero tools to understand how do you make love work in a healthy way?" she said. "Since then, I've been teaching people how to create, cultivate and keep healthy romantic love."
Dr. Johnson's Tip for Preferences, Deal Breakers, and Nonstarters
Dr. Johnson's first tip was about the standards individuals set early in the relationship while discussing the topics of preferences, deal breakers, and nonstarters.
In the video, Dr. Johnson disclosed why it is essential that many choose their words wisely regarding these topics, especially preferences and nonstarters. The reason behind her explanation is that this stage could set up their potential relationship for failure.
"This week y'all, we're talking about deal breakers and nonstarters. If you find yourself in a relationship, honey, with somebody who you are asking and negotiating your deal breakers and your nonstarters, then shame on you,” she said. “Why are you even in a relationship with somebody like that in the first place?"
She continued, "What you should be negotiating is your preferences. So if you find yourself in a relationship and you are negotiating your nonstarters, y'all, those are nonstarters, get the words, get into it. You see what I'm saying. So then the relationship should have never been, right? But your preferences, that's another thing."
Dr. Johnson wrapped up the clip by saying that if an individual is still negotiating their nonstarters with a partner, their union will be doomed because they were never supposed to be with someone with qualities that fell in the nonstarters category.
For more of Dr. Johnson's work, tune in to OWN's Put a Ring On ItFridays at 9 p.m. ET and catch her weekly videos on xoNecole's social media pages.
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'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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How Power Women Protect Their Finances With Smart Money Boundaries
No matter what it is, setting boundaries can be challenging, especially when those boundaries involve money. But if you want to sustain success and financial freedom, boundaries are important, both with yourself and with others.
Many wealthy successful women have mastered setting boundaries and prioritizing accountability so that they can ensure they remain that way. Let's face it: If you want a certain quality of life and you work hard to achieve that, you don't want to risk it by taking on habits that jeopardize your financial stability.
Be inspired to not only set money boundaries but keep them by taking heed to the common financial boundaries power women of today establish:
1. They pay themselves first.
Building consistent savings habits is important to wealth-building no matter how much you earn, and the practice is often one that continues even after you're well-booked and well-paid. Actress, producer, and philanthropist Queen Latifah has always been a proponent of this after learning from her mom to "save your money."
This is the epitome of the energy behind paying yourself first. You squirrel something away and take care of yourself by taking care of your future first, before paying any bills. You invest in yourself (within your means and with a budget in mind, of course).
2. They don't loan money without clear repayment rules and expectations are agreed upon.
It's awesome to be able to help people out by loaning them money, but when you don't communicate clearly about repayment (or what will happen if the money is not repaid) you set yourself up for a cycle of taking on other's debts and maybe even building more debt of your own.
Unless you're doing charity, set those boundaries early about when and how a loan will be repaid. And if you know you won't get the money back, rethink the loan altogether.
3. They create budgets that are realistic and reflect their current lifestyle.
In her book, What I Know for Sure, Oprah Winfrey wrote, “I hope the way you spend your money is in line with the truth of who you are and what you care about.” This is key for many successful women, especially when they're budgeting and investing.
Issa Rae told Money.com, "I don’t splurge just because. I will never have 17 cars. I will never have expensive jewelry. I don’t spend that much on my clothes, or shoes. I will spend money on a stylist, and a makeup artist, because those things feel necessary for work. But material things? No."
There's a clear indication that there are clear value systems sustained by what matters to them no matter how much they make, and budgeting is a huge part of that.
4. They consider the long-term effects of a rash purchase before proceeding.
It's totally okay to treat yourself, but if you find yourself impulsively buying things you don't really need or always living check to check because you've maxed out your credit card to take that sixth trip in one year, there's a problem that might put a damper on those financial freedom plans. (That is unless your trip is part of how you make your money, and it's a worthy investment into expanding your prospects.)
Successful women are conscious of the long- and short-term effects of purchases, small and large. They're always thinking about how one action can impact the bigger picture.
5. They are givers and believe in the reciprocity of that.
Many of us are familiar with the famous quote, "To whom much is given, must is required," and there's that undertone of service and charity that is a common thread for wealthy, successful women, especially those who run businesses or lead brands. Involving yourself in acts of service not only enriches your development and that of communities, but it increases your exposure, network, and credibility, often leading to more opportunities to make more money.
Most leading CEOs, entrepreneurs, and professionals are big on giving back, whether it is through resources, a nonprofit, money, or their time. "As you become more successful, it's important for you to give back. Even if you can't financially give back, kind words and sharing about other businesses on social media mean so much. Every little thing counts. Help out your friends and family with advice, encouragement, and support," said Angela Yee, award-winning radio host and entrepreneur.
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Originally published on August 16, 2024