Let Go Of These 4 Dating Habits For A Healthier Relationship In 2024
Many people will agree that 2023 was a hot mess in the dating streets.
I have heard and read countless stories of women who were in years-long situationships or found out that their partner lived a different life than what they initially portrayed, not to mention the endless amount of ghosting stories were on the rise. As a result, 2023 left a lot of women emotionally and mentally exhausted when it came to dating. Some women even decided to throw away dating and relationships altogether due to their experiences.
Dating and relationships may not be a walk in the park, but I do believe that healthy relationships and positive dating experiences can still take place in 2024. Despite the toxic conversations taking place on podcasts, Instagram Lives, and other social media platforms, I do believe that there are both men and women who desire healthy love and dating experiences. Unfortunately, social media does not do a good job of broadcasting the platforms that are having healthy conversations around dating and relationships or highlighting the folks who genuinely desire it.
It is no secret that dating altogether has caused many folks to experience major insecurities, become depressed, or even hopeless in this area. If dating in 2023 has had a negative impact on your mental health, please do not rush into dating in 2024. Take the necessary time to process, heal, and get therapy if needed. Experiencing heartbreak is never something to take lightly. Therefore, take as much time as you need to heal and grow into a better version of yourself.
As we step into 2024, some individuals are still hopeful and emotionally healthy when it comes to dating and relationships. If you are one of those people who desire to experience a healthy and fulfilling relationship, it is crucial that you bid farewell to certain unhealthy dating habits from 2023.
1.Shifting from a scarcity mindset:
The pervasive belief in a limited dating pool has led some to settle for less than they deserve. Embracing a scarcity mindset often results in accepting the bare minimum, enduring minimal effort, and tolerating poor communication from a partner. Break free from this mindset, and avoid investing time in someone who only provides breadcrumbs of attention. Elevate your standards and seek a connection based on mutual respect and effort.
2.Avoiding situationships at all costs:
While we hoped to leave this behind in 2023, the temptation to engage in situationships may still linger, especially when physical attraction and a strong desire for a relationship are involved. However, it's essential to distinguish between genuine interest in a committed relationship and mere entertainment. Don't let the desperation for companionship hinder your path to finding a meaningful connection in 2024. Be intentional about pursuing relationships that align with your desire for commitment and shared goals.
When it comes to asking intentional questions while dating, one of the best tips I can offer is to inquire about what the individual is looking for and then patiently ‘watch’ for their response. It's common for excitement to arise, especially when someone expresses a desire for a relationship. However, it's equally important to pay attention to their actions. Consider words as an opportunity to open a door for a more thorough evaluation of what someone's actions truly confirm.
3.Having flexibility with your "type":
Debates often arise when it comes to being flexible with one's dating preferences. Reflect on whether your rigid adherence to a specific "type" has contributed positively to your dating experiences. Consider reevaluating height requirements, job titles, salary, and other superficial criteria that might limit your opportunities for genuine connections. While I am not suggesting that your standards are wrong, it may be worth considering if your current ‘type’ or ‘list’ is playing a role in why you're single.
In this reflective time, be sure to hold onto core values and beliefs as your non-negotiables and date from that stance. However, do not forget to be open-minded in other aspects to enhance opportunities for genuine connections.
4.Understanding silence won't bring satisfaction:
Effective communication is crucial, reducing confusion and unmet expectations. My therapist once emphasized the unfairness of expecting someone to meet your unknown expectations. In dating, being unapologetic about your needs is essential. While compromise is a must, sharing your values, like communication style, faith, and dating expectations, is vital.
When you're clear and honest about your needs, you give the other person an opportunity to make an effort to meet them. They may not be perfect, but the goal is to evaluate genuine effort. Muting yourself in dating can lead to accumulating resentment, heartbreak, and disempowerment in your interactions.
Remember, incorporating these changes doesn't guarantee an immediate relationship, but it positions you for a healthier one when the time is right. Here's to anticipating a relationship filled with health and devoid of unnecessary struggles in 2024. Cheers to a year of growth and meaningful connections!
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Featured image by LumiNola/Getty Images
Joy is a 2x Author, Empowerment Speaker, and Strategy Coach. Her platform, Speak With Joy, mission is, "To empower and equip Women and Young Adults to speak with JOY despite life's circumstances in the area of FAITH, PURPOSE, and RELATIONSHIPS".
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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You've Never Seen Luke James In A Role Quite Like This
Over the years, we've watched Luke James play countless characters we'd deem sex symbols, movie stars, and even his complicated character in Lena Waithe's The Chi. For the first time in his career, the New Orleans-born actor has taken on a role where his signature good looks take a backseat as he transforms into Edmund in Them: The Scare—a mentally deranged character in the second installment of the horror anthology series that you won't be able to take your eyes off.
Trust us, Edmund will literally make you do a double take.
xoNecole sat down with Luke James to talk about his latest series and all the complexity surrounding it—from the challenges taking on this out-of-the-box role to the show's depiction of the perplexing history of the relationship between Black Americans and police. When describing the opportunity to bring Edmund's character to life, Luke was overjoyed to show the audience yet another level of his masterful acting talents.
"It was like bathing in the sun," he said. "I was like, thank you! Another opportunity for me to be great—for me to expand my territory. I'm just elated to be a part of it and to see myself in a different light, something I didn't think I could do." He continued, "There are parts of you that says, 'Go for it because this is what you do.' But then also that's why it's a challenge because you're like, 'um, I don't know if I'm as free as I need to be to be able to do this.' Little Marvin just created such a safe space for me to be able to do this, and I'm grateful for everything I've been able to do to lead to this."
Courtesy
Them: The Scare, like the first season, shines a light on the plight of Black Americans in the United States. This time, the story is taking place in the 1990s, at the height of the Rodney King riots in Los Angeles. While the series presents many underlying themes, one that stands out is Black people and the complicated relationship with the police. "For the audience, I think it sets the tone for the era that we're in and the amount of chaos that's in the air in Los Angeles and around the country from this heinous incident. And I say it just sets the tone of the anxiety and anxiousness that everybody is feeling in their own households."
James has been a longtime advocate against police brutality himself. He has even featured Elijah McClain, the 23-year-old Colorado man who died after being forcibly detained by officers, as his Instagram avatar for the past five years. So, as you can imagine, this script was close to his heart. "Elijah was a soft-loving oddball. Different than anyone but loving and a musical genius. He was just open and wanted to be loved and seen."
Getty Images
Luke continued, "His life was taken from him. I resonate with his spirit and his words...through all the struggle and the pain he still found it in him to say, 'I love you and I forgive you.' And that's who we are as people—to our own detriment sometimes. He's someone I don't want people to forget. I have yet to remove his face from my world because I have yet to let go of his voice, let go of that being [because] there's so many people we have lost in our history that so often get forgotten."
He concluded, "I think that's the importance of such artwork that moves us to think and talk about it. Yes, it's entertaining. We get to come together and be spooked together. But then we come together and we think, 'Damn, Edmund needed someone to talk to. Edmund needed help... a lot [of] things could have been different. Edmund could have been saved.'
Check out the full interview below.
Luke James Talks Ditching Sex Symbol Status For "Them: The Scare", Elijah McClain, & Morewww.youtube.com
Featured image by Getty Images